This person feels comfortable being alone and wants to know if they should break their friendship with their friend.

Hello,

I'm sorry to hear you are having such a tough time. I know it's hard, but I will try my best to answer your questions.

First and foremost, no, it is not a good thing to cut your friends out of your life suddenly the way you have been, and pushing away your only current friend will not make you feel better. What you'll find, I fear, if you continue to go down this path is that you are uncomfortably alone this time. We all crave our solitude sometimes. Some of us more than others, and that is perfectly okay. Feeling comfortable in your own company is a good thing. What's not a good thing is pushing people away for (seemingly) no reason. Maintaining relationships with people can be very physically and emotionally taxing at times, but it is still important to have people in your life that care about you, and who you care about in return. It is crucial to have a support system in life. A support system is typically made of up of parents, family members, friends, and mentors or peers, but it can simply be anyone who supports you when you need it. Without a support system you are left entirely on your own, and that can be a very lonely thing. You can only be by yourself for a while before you start to notice the emptiness.

I suggest you talk to your friend. Apologize for "falling off the face of the earth" and disappearing for two weeks, and let her know that you were not in a good place. While "not being in a good place" is not necessarily a good excuse for pushing your friends away, it will at least let them know what was going on. And I will also suggest that you try to be more up front with her about your social needs. If you need time to yourself, and can't always be on the phone or hanging out with her, then set those boundaries. At least let her know when you are not in a mental place where you feel comfortable talking or hanging out for a little bit so that she knows what is going on in your life, and so that you are not just ghosting her for weeks. I think that would make the both of you feel a lot better with the situation to have an open line of communication between the two of you. Keep in mind that you don't have to be constantly active in a relationship. It is perfectly okay to have your own time and space, and to talk for a few minutes or an hour or two at a time before going back to doing your own thing. And I think while pushing people away might feel like you have less to worry about, in the long run it will only make you worry and feel worse. It is so much better to have people in your life even from a distance than to be entirely alone all the time.

Another thing I would like to suggest is looking into counseling. From what you've written, I can assume that you have a little more going on that just a social battery issue, and while I am not qualified to diagnose any illnesses, conditions, or treatments, I can make suggestions, and I think having a professional you can talk to and who can help you understand why you are feeling the way you do, and maybe even what exactly it is you are feeling would be immensely helpful to you.

I hope this helps, love. Write again if you have any other advice requests or questions!

Stay strong,

The Advice Column Team