This person is stressed and doesn't know what to do about it.

Hey!

That sounds pretty stressful and we're glad you reached out to us. Thank you for taking the opportunity to help yourself and do what is best for you. Now, something you can do in this case is, first and foremost, assess whether being a part of that summer performance is important to you or not. See whether it'll give you any work benefits, any future opportunities, any résumé benefits, etc., or maybe you just like performing. What is this performance giving you in return for your work and time?

Next, whatever the reason you want to do the performance, you need to realize that once you fail a class or get a bad grade, it's gonna be stuck there forever. You can skip out on a performance and no one would know but a bad grade would show up on your transcript especially if it's an important year of your school life like during high school.

However, if you still want to try and participate in the summer performance, ask the director you're working with to see if she can help you adjust and better your timings. If she could, then that would be great for both your schoolwork and your performance. If she can't, I think you'll have to make a decision between either going for it despite your failing grade or dropping it because you need to be focusing on your studies more. And honestly, that choice depends on you; this isn't something for your parents to decide. If your parents want you to drop it and you don't want to, then it can't be their fault, the blame can't be on them. You need to realize that you're the only one that is making decisions for yourself, you're a big person, you can decide and make your own choices, do things that'll make you happier and less stressed. Don't lose time for yourself in the midst of all this hustle and bustle.

Now, this is the important bit since it's related to your mental health. Sweetheart, talk to your parents about it. Talk to them about how they're making you feel bad and stressed and how they're not emotionally available for you when you want them to be. And tell them your friends aren't helping either so the only people she can rely on is them but they're too busy for you. Ask them to spend time with you and be there when you want to have a talk or vent. A conversation with your parents is important. Now similarly it is important with your friends as well. Tell them you know their households are abusive and what they're going through might be worse. But no one in this life goes through worse or better experiences, we all have equal highs and lows. We all have feelings and emotions that get hurt even at the tiniest things. You feel stressed by this choice between your grade and the performance and you have every right to be. Tell them your thoughts and opinions. They can't dismiss your feelings just because they're ‘going through worse’. Does this mean your emotions can only be heard if you're going through abuse or worse? Absolutely not. Even the tiniest thing that can upset you should be shared with friends. That's what friendships are about, being there for each other.

I genuinely hope you make a good choice and good luck with your classes and future performances! Feel free to reach out again.

Thank you,

The Advice Column Team