I had spend the next two days of my life just in my room, doing nothing and stare at the whole city trough my windows. My mind was pure blank and my eyes are already tired from crying. They were actually already swollen.

In short, I look like a mess.

I ate nothing but chocolates that I have in my mini fridge that is in my room, near the door. My water stocks are nearly gone but I am not leaving this place no matter what happen until I get that information from Mike about my Mom.

I am dying to know who is Gabby in my life! I really want to solve this puzzle to know about her. My life depends on the answer and I can't wait for it.

Right now, I am sitting on the window, hugging my legs and stare at the city below me. I closed my eyes and imagine what a mess I am right now.

Fake wife...

That is what I am right now. I want to end this shit as soon as possible before anything gets worse between us. I don't want anymore pain in my life. I'm done with it!!!

I've been experiencing pain since I was born...until now?! I'm already too tired for these shit!

But to be honest, in my two days not leaving my room. Not even once...he tried to knock and talk to me.

He doesn't care.

He really does want me out of his life, huh? Why, can't wait to be with his whore? Tsk, so impatient of him.

Just a minute, my phone started to ring which made me come to my senses and ran to wherever it is. Okay, I couldn't find my phone because my room is a total mess right now. Jeez, where is it?!

Finally, I saw it under my bed! How did it get there in the first place? I checked out who was calling me and thank God it's Mike.

"Hello?" I answered quickly.

"Mrs. Knight, I already found out about the woman you are searching."

Oh God, you don't know how happy I am when I heard those words. "Really? Where are you? I need to see those as soon as possible. Wait, somewhere that my husband won't know..."

"Boss is in a meeting until noon. Lets just meet up in his office." He suggested.

"Okay." I replied after a second then ended the call. I jump from the window and ran to my closet to get some sweatshirt to wear over my plain tank top. I didn't change my denim shorts because it looks fine to me if I face Mike.

I went down to Rafael's office but in my surprise, Mike is already there, standing and waiting to me, obviously.

"Mrs. Knight, here are the files that I have gathered about Alyssa Heinrich." Mike handed me a long brown envelope.

I took and opened it eagerly. But all it had inside are my mom's birth certificate, her job information, her files when she was sent in jail and...some pictures of her, that made very curious.

It's been two years and she looked a lot different now from what she looks like when I last saw her.

She looks...clean?

It was a photo of her, sitting on a public bench, drinking coffee I think or tea but that doesn't matter. What's confusing me is how she looks like right now.

Usually, she had huge bags under her eyes, messy uncombed hair and her clothes were crippled and old.

But what I am seeing in the photo is her eye bags are no longer visible. Her hair was short and were cute right. Her clothes are clean and brand new! She is sipping that cup and surprisingly it's not cocaine nor alcohol! This is so shocking!

"Where is she?" I asked, my voice starts trembling through the mixed feelings that I am having.

"From what I have found, Mrs. Knight, Alyssa Knight had been released from a rehabilitation center a few months ago. She spend a year there and she used to be drug abused. Fortunately, she finally settled down"

My head tilted on one side, what he said last made my mind spin. "What do you mean? She's married?"

"Yes, Mrs. Knight." He nod his head as he hand me a piece of paper which happens to be a marriage certificate inside the envelope. "She was married to a simple man who works as a construction worker 2 months ago."

This investigation made my brain jumped out of my skull. Its too stressful for me. That means my mom fine now and I can talk to her without worry? Without fear?

"She's your mom, am I right?"

His question made me wake up from my fighting thoughts.

"I-I didn't mean to ask. I'm sorry." He lowered his head, apologetically. When will this man learn not to talk to me like I'm the queen?! Jeez, his respect to me is too much making me irritated.

"Yes, she is my mom, Mike." I told him, letting out a sigh. "But please don't tell me Rafael about this. Please? I promise I will tell this to him myself." I pleaded. I don't really want him find out that I want to meet my mom.

He doesn't even have to know!

"I won't tell the boss, Mrs. Knight." He bowed his head, formally in front of me.

I sigh "Oh for heaven's sake can you cut out that formal names to me! Just call me by my name, Mike. I don't like it when someone calls me so highly."

Mike raised his head hesitantly but he always seems sure of his actions "I'm sorry, Mrs. Knight but your husband threatened me to call you with respect or else he will fire me"

That evil man!

I can't believe he said that to his loyal assistant. That's why he is always careful with his words with me. That evil husband of mine threatened him! How cruel he is. He is threatening him for nonsense reasons.

"Don't mind him, Mike. Call me by my name and if he tells you that, I will kill him myself." I joked making the man in front of me let out a short laugh. "Thank you for your help, Mike. You can leave now before my husband comes in"

He bowed his head again then turns to leave.

"Wait..." I called him again making him turn to look at me. "Can you accompany me to where this woman is living?"

He just nods his head "But the boss will find out if I was gone and you were gone too" when he said that, it made me think. He's got a point, though.

"Check out his schedules this weekend. Lets just sneak away while he is on meeting. Tell him that you have..." why is it so hard to lie?! "...Tell him that you have to take care of something like...um... your dog died!"

I'm out of ideas. Gosh...

Mike suddenly made a weird look towards me. Yeah, I know. What I said was stupid but I am just making up some suggestions.

But he sigh and raised his head to me then nod "I'll take care of it, Mrs. Knight. I will clear my schedule this weekend and I will help you."

A huge smile formed on my face "Thank you, Mike! You don't know how happy I am"

Mike just nod and bowed his head then got in the elevator towards the lobby. I'm gonna see my Mom soon.

Mama

What should I react when we see each other? Smile? Wave? Act like nothing happened? What?

Should I feel happy? I don't know what I should feel. They are all mixed emotions.

I'm gonna meet her to have some answers about my older sister. I want to know who in my family is still alive.

So I will know that I have someone left once Rafael decided to leave me.

I went back to the penthouse, I don't want to see Rafael so I was really rushing back to my room. Once I reached my bedroom door, I noticed two trays of food was lined outside my doorstep. I didn't noticed that one earlier...or before.

Rafael didn't try to knock to tell me that I have some foods for me. I was going inside and ignore the food when my stomach starts grumbling.

I'm hungry...

Of course I'm hungry! Starving to be in fact! I haven't eat a proper meal for two freaking days! And these foods are really tempting to eat.

Rafael might won't come home yet so I think this won't hurt.

I picked up the trays and went down to the dining area to eat the meal. The meals were vegetable salad, some marshes potatoes, an orange juice that is in a container and on the other tray was a fruitful bowl and some delicious looking sandwich.

In a split of a second, I was munching the foods and my mouth was full. God, I'm so hungry that I can eat a whole cow! And no is gonna stop me!

I was eating the salad then take a bite of the sandwich then swallow a spoonful of mashed potatoes.

"This is so good" I moaned, as my tongue tastes the salad. Oh my God, thank you. This is a compete heaven for having an opportunity to have a meal like this.

"Slow down, you don't want to throw all of that up"

I jumped from my chair making the table to move with me. Rafael was there, standing at the entrance to this dining area, his coat was already taken off and his shirt was unbuttoned on the top making me have a little peek of his chest. Why does he look so dangerously handsome in a simple move?

"Or you want to eat me instead?"

I was woken up from my drooling over his body and blushed like maniac "Rafael?! How long have you been standing there?"

"A minute or so? I don't know. I enjoyed watching you eat."

I stopped myself from taking a bite and place my fork down and lean my arms on the table. He was staring at me while I can't even make a contact with him. I just can't right now.

"I'm going back to my room" I stood then walk around the table but when I got close to him because I have no choice to walk pass him since he was standing at the entrance of the dining area, he grab my arm and pulled me back. "Let go~"

"~Going back to your room and lock yourself? Starve yourself? Belle, what the fuck is really going on with you? Our deal is still on but you act like you want to end this"

"YES!" I just blurt out without thinking "I want this stupid deal with you!!!" Shit, what are you saying, Belle? Are you out of your mind?!

Rafael's features suddenly darkens as his grip on my arm became tighter "Why? Why do you want this deal to end?! Did someone fed you up some lies?! Or is this because of my Dad~"

"Oh for heaven's sake, how many times do I have to tell you that your Dad has nothing to do with these?!"

"Because ever since he talked you you~"

"~NO! I want to end this fucking deal is because I'm falling for you, Rafael!" Wait, what did I just say?

Rafael looked shock at what I said. But trust me, I was even shock. His eyes widened and his mouth opened a little as his grip on my arm loosened. "Belle~"

I didn't let him finish as I ran to my room in seconds. I don't want to hear what he is gonna say because I don't want to be hurt anymore. I know what he is gonna say and he is gonna reject me for sure.

This man can't love ...

I slammed the door behind me and leaned to it as I felt my heart racing. Placing my hand on top of it, it was beating too fast. Is it from the running? Or from the pain?

How crazy this is? My first time to love and it's already painful. Am I that hard to love? Why do all of them leave me and hurt me?

I didn't know that I was crying too much and I just give out a whine and sob as my knees give up on its own making me sat on my cold floor and just cry my heart out.

What have I gotten myself into?

It's your fault, Belle. You got yourself into something you don't know what is gonna happen to you.

I'm because so confident that I won't fall in love with him.

But seeing all of his pain, smiles, true laughs and his care that I never felt before...I doubt that I won't fall for him. He introduced me to the world that I will only have in my dreams. He made me a better person that I actually before.

Love...

Really is a bitch, huh?

You can't control it and you can't stop it.