"I know, I'm gonna be home soon... I wanted to see you on Christmas too, but it's not gonna work bub... Please don't be upset, they just need me here... Hey, listen I'll see you after the new year though okay?... Alright, I love you too!" I hung up the phone and sighed. Jake had been mad at me for a long time because I wasn't coming home for Christmas, but it was only because one of my teachers asked if I would stay around and help teach a class with her. She let me take off Christmas day and I was done after that, but I knew Jake would want to be with Hannah that on New Years Eve or at least she would want to be with him.

"Hey Mags, you wanna go get dinner?" Lily yelled from her room. She was still here because she didn't believe in Christmas or really any holiday that was overly commercialized.

"Yeah, just give me a sec!" I hollered back. I looked down at my phone to a text from Sammy.

Sammy: Miss you, Merry Christmas!

I smiled down at it, Sam had been a lot more understanding recently. I didn't know what changed his mind, but I was happy all the more for it. I quickly wrote back,

Me: I miss you too! I wish I was with you all, Merry Christmas Lamb!

I looked in the mirror, I had turned into such a casual New Yorker and I hadn't noticed it. My long hair was annoying me to the point that I was questioning whether or not I should cut it all off. I pulled a dark grey winter hat over my head, one of the one with the pom poms. Jake had sent it to me in the mail with a note saying he loved me in these hats. I threw on my big winter coat and boots, then walked out into the kitchen. "Ready?" Lil said.

"Yeah, why are you all dressed up?" I said admiring how good she looked, but upset that I didn't know to dress up.

"Let's go dancing!" She shouted, doing a little dance.

"Come on, it's cold outside."

"Dancing waits for nobody!"

"Lil, I really don't feel up to it."

"What's going on with you? You've been different since Thanksgiving break."

"Nothing, I'm just not up for it. I mean it's Christmas, I don't want to do that."

"Tell me what's wrong." I sighed at her persistence.

"I don't know if I'm gonna come back next year.." I waited for her response, closing my eyes for impact.

"WHAT?? You're kidding right?" I shook my head at her. "Why in all hell would you do that? I thought you loved it here."

"I was, well, I was talking to some people and I miss home."

"Oh yeah. You were 'talking to some people' and who the hell are 'some people'? That 'boyfriend' of yours. That's bullshit Maggie and you know it!"

"I don't expect you to understand-"

"Oh no, I understand. You think he'll leave his girlfriend. GOD Maggie, what's it gonna take for you to see that he won't. I feel like we just keep talking about it all the time. On and on, Jake this and Jake that. He wouldn't be with her if he really loved you."

"You don't understand." I said, hurt by every word that left her mouth.

"Maggie, I understand perfectly. You didn't go home for Christmas, but you have perfectly enough time to go home for New Years. You're staying here to avoid it and it's bugging the shit out of me."

"Maggie, you know why I stayed here and it's not because of that."

"Then get on a fucking plane right now and go home. You don't have to be with him on New Years Eve. You have friends, other friends, I know you do. You don't have to go to Michigan just to see him." I thought about what she was saying. Was she right? I didn't have to stay here any longer, I could make a trip home, I mean I have the month of January off. Why not?

"You're right."

"What?" She said taken back by my agreement.

"I'm gonna go catch a flight." I walked towards my bedroom to pack stuff.

"Maggie, are you serious?" She didn't believe I was actually gonna do it. "It's Christmas, you can't get a flight out."

"You're right, I'll leave in a couple days then." I closed the door to my room and pulled out my phone, dialing Sam's number.

"Hello!" A happy Sam said.

"Hey, Sammy! Just wanted to check in and wish you a Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas to you too! We miss you, everyone's here right now. Your mom keeps talking about how well you're doing in New York." I awkwardly laughed.

"Hey listen babes, are you doing anything for New Years Eve?" I asked.

"I don't know, wh- are you coming home?!?" He asked, his voice going up.

"Shh. I think I want to come home in a couple days, but I just want to know what's happening first."

"Well, it's just gonna be me and Carmen, maybe Danny and Kenz, and Josh, oh and Ronnie. Ya know, the usual suspects.."

"That's it?" I asked, he knew what I was getting at.

"You know who and you know who number two both aren't going to be here, if that's what you're asking. She's got a family celebration and he's going with her. We're just gonna have a little soiree, nothing over the top..."

I looked down at myself, sighing at what I looked like. It was later than I expected and I would have to rush to the Kiszka's. Sam promised he wouldn't tell anyone I was coming, so I would be a bit of a surprise. I called an uber quickly and ran my fingers through my greasy hair.

The sun was almost completely set as the car pulled up to the house. I thanked the woman and told her it was a lovely ride, then grabbed my bag from the trunk and started my way to the front door. I heard music inside, but it was just light music and laughing that sounded like people were in the kitchen. I opened the door, leaving my bags in the front and walked casually into the kitchen. No one had noticed I was there yet, so I walked over to the island and sat down on a stool, popping a green grape in my mouth. The room froze when everyone realized what had just happened. "Well, I don't get a hello?" I laughed. Arms surrounded my body and I was losing count of who was who. It was just the five of us.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming?" Kenzi asked.

"I wanted it to be a surprise, plus I want to keep a low profile."

"I knew!" Sammy said happily. I watched at Carmen punched his arm. "Ow!"

"You deserved it." She said nonchalantly.

"I'm really tired guys, I might just go take a shower and get on the beautification level of the rest of you." I laughed thinking about what I looked like compared to them. Daniel in his suit, Sam in a pair of slack and a button down with the sleeves rolled up, Carmen was wearing this beautiful mini dress, and Mackenzi was in a long dress. They all looked beautifully made up.

"You know where everything is." Sam said.

"Yeah I do." I giggled, making my way to the staircase with my suitcase.

I stepped out of the shower, heat rising from my body. I wiped the steam from the mirror and looked at my body, letting the towel fall. I felt like I was getting bigger, gross. My face looked fat and my arms too. I had stopped going to the gym and it was biting me in the ass. All of the work and the ramen noodles were catching up to me, literally. I dried by hair with the blow drier and I grabbed my makeup bag, doing a little something fancy, more than I would ever normally do. I looked at my sparkly gold eyes pleased. My rosy cheeks were out for display, only due to the blush I'd apply. I kept curling my eyelashes, I didn't know why exactly, but they make them look all va-va-voom. I grabbed some panties and a strapless bra and sat on the toilet with my hands in my head. My head was pounding. I should have felt good about being home, but there was this pit in my stomach. It was a feeling that Jake would find out I was home and be mad. I was snapped out of my thoughts by a banging on the door.

"Let me in whichever asshole you are, I need to pee!" Ronnie whined. I smiled at her voiced. Unlocking the door and letting her come in, she looked at me stunned. "I want to hug you so hard right now, but I might pee my pants." She ran to the toilet to pee and I hoisted myself on the sink. As she finished up, she spoke "Why didn't you tell me you were coming home?" She asked, grabbing my underwear clad body.

"Surprise!" I laughed.

"Not cool, dude." She smiled at my face. "You look purty, all dudded up."

"Why thank you kind madam. Your compliment has me all flustered like." I said in my best old western accent. We sat on the bathroom floor talking and she helped me pick out my outfit, which I told her had to be casual. I loved Mackenzi, but her outfit was way too out there for me and we both agreed. We decided on my black skinny jeans -- though, not too skinny, come on we know me, I don't want all my stuff visible --, one of my old, chunky black belts, a pinky mauve long sleeve shirt that had a silky sheen to it and it wasn't revealing at all, and a pair of open toed mules that had a low chunky wooden block heel and a leopard print design across the top of my foot. I pushed my hair back looking at myself in the mirror.

"Damn ma, you look hot."

"You're not too bad either." We fixed up little things and went downstairs as we heard the music get louder and more people.

I didn't really know a lot of the people, but I was able to communicate. It was mainly girls from high school clinging to me in their drunken manner and telling me they thought I looked pretty. I would just tell them they looked pretty too and then try to find someone I knew. As I was talking to a group of girls about their boyfriends, I noticed someone familiar. We made eye contact and he smiled at me, I smiled back. I interrupted the girls to tell them I was going to get a drink and walked to the drink table. I felt eye on me and when I looked over there he was grabbing a beer. "Hey, Maggie."

"Hey, Thomas! Long time no see."

"Yeah, we haven't really talked for a while." I thought to graduation when he had come along to say congratulations with my brother, but my mind really went back to the night at that party, when we'd made out a little bit. "I heard you moved to New York."

"Yeah, it's been interesting. I'm actually thinking of moving back, but not sure yet. You're at...?"

"Stanford."

"Oh wow, I knew that." I laughed awkwardly. "You like it there?"

"Yeah, it's beautiful. A lot of sun." I noticed that the clock seemed to move faster as I talked to him. It was almost midnight and was interrupted from talking by Josh.

"Where have you been hiding??" He said, surprised to see me.

"Hey, Joshyyy!" I said, pulling him into a big hug. Thomas stood there uncomfortably.

"Did you get in today?" He asked over the music.

"Yeah, I think you were asleep." We were all standing in the little butler's pantry. I hoisted myself onto the counter, so I wasn't on my feet anymore.

"It's almost midnight Mags, we should go find the others." I nodded, telling Thomas I would talk to him after the ball drop, he was such a good guy. We found the rest of the gang standing around the island in the kitchen. Carmen had a bottle of Jose Cuervo in her hand, pouring shots into large shot glasses and Sam was gently slicing limes. I sat on a stool next to Josh as the shots were being distributed. We were talking about something silly, like Josh making a movie that was just my face the entire time, until we were interrupted.

"Hey can we join in?" I heard that voice say. I turned around from facing Josh to face his twin. Jake was looking down at Carmen pouring two more shots. I saw everyone face freeze. Next to him was Hannah, holding onto his hand. Her eyes lit up when she saw me.

"OH MY GOD!!! MAGGIE!" She yelled, running around to me and pulling me up from the stool to embrace me. "What the fuck, we would have come here if we'd known you'd be here. I haven't seen you in so long, like more than five months."

"I'm sorry, I thought it would be a nice surprise." I said meekly, not wanting to look in the eyes of the person I knew was staring at me.

"Next time, no surprise, I just want to know you're here." I nodded at her, signalling that would be the case. My eyes peeked up and I saw Jake's face. His lips were parted slightly and his eyes wide, but not suspiciously. I watched at Sam walked over to Jake and whispered something into his ear angrily, Jake said something back, and Sam rolled his eyes. You could almost see Sammy's anger.

"Jake, aren't you going to say hello?" Hannah asked him, thinking that he was being weird.

"Right." He said. "Hey Mags." He walked over to me and gave me a hug, just a light one.

"Hi." I said quickly. Carmen came up behind me, putting her arms over my shoulders and hugging me a little. I watched as Ronnie's pained face, tried to turn back to a happy one. Josh's shoulders slumped down and I reached over to take his hand. I watched Jake flinch as I did that. I knew Josh and Jake had been fighting a lot recently and I also knew that I was the main cause in that.

"Guys, the balls gonna drop soon." Sammy said, looking at me and giving me a warm smile.

"Come on, stop moping... for the end of the year." I said, saving myself from my own words. "Let's take some shots!"

"That a girl!" Danny yelled. Everyone laughed. We all put the salt on our hands and set a lime in front of us.

"To the new year and everything that comes with it!" I shouted, raising my glass.

"Here's to us!" Ronnie said. We all licked the salt off and downed our shots finishing them with goofy lime mouths.