I didn't want to think about Josh.

I wanted to be with Jake. I was happy with Jake. But I couldn't shake the feeling of knowing Josh was being like this because of me, and I didn't want Jake to think anything of it.

"I wonder what Sam said.." Jake said quietly, taking another sip of his drink. I hadn't thought of that. Sam had a big mouth as it is. I'm sure Josh had to know by now.

"I'm sure he said plenty." I sighed. He nodded.

"I can tell you if the roles were reversed, he wouldn't be thinking this much about me."

".. that's not true." I mumbled. He peeked back at me.

"How do you know?" He asked.

"He's always thinking about you, Jake."

"How do you know that? ...What were you guys talking about the other day?" he finally asked. I smirked.

"You, mostly." I said, feeling my cheeks burn. His smile grew.

"Oh.." he sighed. "That's why he's being like this. I should've known. So, what did you guys talk about?" he asked again, filling my glass.

"Yeah, I'm gonna need a few more of these if I'm going to tell you everything." I said, taking another sip. He laughed.

"Hey, you're my girlfriend now, you have to tell me things." I smirked, my cheeks burning again.

"He.. he looked through my journal and saw some of the things I wrote.." I finally said. His eyes got wide and his smile grew.

"What!" he yelled. He sat up, crossing his legs. "Why does he get to read your stuff and I don't?" I shook my head.

"Because.. you're you." I sighed. "And they're about you."

"So you do write about me." he smirked. I grabbed the bottle of champagne and filled my glass again. He laughed.

"Is it really that hard for you to be honest with me?" He asked, staring back at me. I couldn't help but get lost in his eyes again. I smiled.

"No.." I sighed, looking away. "They're just.. they're private. I've never shown anyone.. else, I guess. I just.. I don't know."

"It's okay." he giggled, tilting my chin up, staring back at me with his beautiful big brown eyes. "You know, maybe it's good if you have him to talk to."

"Actually.. Sam and I have-"

"That makes more sense." He sighed, reaching back for his glass. "Sam always finds himself in everyone's business."

"He.. is actually great. It's nice having a friend here."

"Hey!" he said, hitting me with one of the pillows. "I'm your friend!" I laughed.

"No, you're my boyfriend now.. it's different."

"No! Why is it different?" I shook my head, taking another sip.

"It just is, Jake." I leaned in, kissing him. "See, I wouldn't be kissing my friend." He smirked.

"Well, that's good to know." he said quietly, kissing me on the nose.

"You're so cute." I sighed. He flashed me his toothy smile, his cheeks turning red.

"I'm not cute." He said, scrunching up his nose, shaking his head at me. I laughed.

"See, that right there, that's adorable." He rolled his eyes, gently taking the glass from my hand.

"I think you've had enough of this."

"Hey!" I laughed, reaching for it. He moved away.

"No, you've had enough."

"I'll just go get more." I sighed, making my way over to the door. When my feet hit the floor, I felt the room start to spin. Maybe Jake was right. But I couldn't let him know that. I slide the door open to see Josh on the couch with one of the girls from before. Or at least I thought she was. She could've been someone new for all I know. As the door opened, I saw Josh quickly look over.

His eyes were hopeful, but quickly switched from sad to angry. They were even more bloodshot than before, his eyelids getting heavier. I stared back for a moment, looking at the girl who was now sitting on his lap. She was going on about something, but it was hard to tell with her slurred words. Josh didn't look at her once, but instead held his stare on me. I could feel my face getting warmer. The room was spinning even more. I turned away, catching my balance on the counter as I opened the cabinet to search for something else to drink.

"Can't your boyfriend get you something?" he eventually said. I sighed, then turning to face him.

"You're right." I snapped. "I should ask him." He clenched his jaw, gently moving the girl off of his lap. She barely noticed.

"'Shoulda known you were only here to get with one of us." He said to himself. My face felt like it was on fire. "That was probably your plan the whole time."

"You're the one who came onto me, remember?" I started to yell. Sam picked his head up from the pillow. He had crashed onto the couch face down.

"Yeah, and look what good that did me." He snapped back. The girl stopped talking. I could feel the bus getting quieter, but we didn't stop.

"Well, sorry your 'dibs' didn't work out. But you seem just fine now!"

"Well, I'm not!" he yelled.

I felt my stomach drop. He bit down on his lip, his face turning bright red. The whole bus was silent.

"Josh.." I sighed.

"I'm not, okay?! I don't know what happened, but I'm not. And now you're with him and I have to be okay with that? I'm sorry, but I'm not. What happened between then and now that.. it was so easy for you to just pick him? I don't understand."

My heart was pounding. I didn't know what to say. Then, the door slowly opened. Jake stood in the doorway. He looked over at Josh, and then me.

"What's.. what's going on?" he asked quietly.

"Nothing." Josh sighed, getting up off the couch. "Nothing at all." He stumbled as he got up, and made his way over to the door of the bus.

"Where are you going?" I asked, now following him. He shook his head, waving me off.

"Don't worry about it." He said blankly. "I need some fresh air."

"Josh you can barely walk." Sam said, picking his head up again.

"I'm fine." he snapped, grabbing the banister and walking down the steps. He slammed the door behind him. I stopped, looking back at Jake. He was holding himself up in the doorway, staring back at me.

I knew I couldn't go after him, but I couldn't just let him wander out there alone, especially not being as drunk as he was. Sam noticed.

"I'll.. I'll go find him." He said, pulling himself off the couch. I quickly flashed Sam a 'thank you' smile as he stumbled by. He nodded.

I walked back over to Jake, as carefully as I could. Leaning my hands on his chest, I looked up at him.

"What was all that about?" he asked. I sighed, shaking my head.

"It.. it was nothing."

"That didn't sound like nothing."

"He snapped at me and..."

"What did he say to you?" I bit my lip. I didn't want to throw him under the bus.

"It doesn't matter."

"He yelled at you, Jess. It does matter."

"Jake, it's-"

"What did he say?"

"He said.. he should've known I was only here to get with someone in the band." My face felt like it was on fire. I looked down at my feet.

"Well, you know that's not true." He said softly. I nodded.

"I know."

He leaned down, kissing my forehead, pulling my closer. I felt tears fill my eyes; I quickly tried wiping them on his shirt before he noticed.

"I wanted our day to be perfect." I whispered to him. He smirked at me, gently wiping another tear away.

"Come here.." he said, gently grabbing me by the shirt and pulling me into the back room. He slowly slid the door closed behind us.

"I jus-" he cut me off, tangling his fingers in my hair and pulling me into a kiss. It felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest. Grabbing onto his shirt, I pulled him in closer.

"It is perfect." He sighed. I smiled.

He was perfect.