Josh gently swung our hands as we silently walked together down the sidewalk. It was nice to just have his company right now. I appreciated how he wasn't uncomfortable with silence.

"Have people already started lining up for tonight?" I finally asked, remembering what had happened the other night.

"I think so, but don't worry the entrance is on the other side. We're okay." He said softly. I felt my cheeks burn. He knew what I meant.

"I just don't want-"

"I know. It's okay." He said simply.

"Thank you for being here." I said, keeping my eyes down. I felt his grip get tighter.

"You know I'll always be here." He sighed. I peeked up at him, but he kept his eyes down on his feet.

"You really will.. won't you?" I asked. He looked over at me, biting down on his lip. He nodded. I moved closer, leaning my head on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry I made a mess of everything." I said quietly. I felt him shake his head.

"You didn't do anything wrong. You can't help how you feel."

"I guess." I sighed. "It's just.. it's never been easy."

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"I mean.. my family isn't exactly the greatest when it comes to relationships. I was never.. really taught. I never saw anything good. So, I don't really know how to do this."

"Does anyone really know?" He giggled to himself.

"It sure seems like you do." I smiled.

"Well, I'd love to learn with you." I looked up at him to see him already looking back down at me. My cheeks burned and I quickly looked away.

"You're making this really hard." I laughed.

"How?" He asked, his smile growing. I sighed.

"You know how." I mumbled. I felt him shrug.

"You can have whatever you want, Jess. You just have to decide what that is."

I hated that he was right. I hated what happened with Jake today. I hated how I never really knew what I wanted, and even when I did, I hated how I didn't know how to keep it.

I moved my hand up, now tightly holding onto his arm. I felt him move closer to me.

"So, did you decide what kind of things you want shot for the video?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"Honestly, things like this would be perfect." He said. "That's basically what the song is. It feels like this. I wanted it to be pretty simple and just feel.. organic and natural and real."

"So this feels real?" I said softly.

"To me it does.." He said, his voice trailing off.

"Would it.. just be us?" I asked. He smirked.

"It could be."

"I feel comfortable when I'm alone with you."

"Me too."

We walked a little further until we reached the river overlooking the city. I held onto him tightly as we sat down in the grass, looking out.

"So you never really told me what you'll need me to do." I laughed, sitting across from him. He smiled, sprawling out in the grass, propping his head onto his hand, looking back at me.

"Well, it all depends on how you feel, really. I don't want to force anything. That's why I said.. moments like these would actually be best."

I reached into my pocket, pulling out my phone and started filming him. He flashed me a toothy smile, his cheeks getting redder.

"So stuff like this. This is what you want?" I asked. He scrunched up his face.

"You know, it would be nice to get to see how you see me."

"Well, this doesn't do you justice." I said. He laughed, reaching up for my phone.

"Alright, you don't have to worry about this." He said, pushing it to the side. I laughed.

"Okay then, so how personal are we talking?" I asked. His cheeks got redder, his face now closer to mine.

"What are you really asking me?" He laughed.

"I'm asking.. are you gonna want me to kiss you?" He bit his lip, staring back at me.

"Only if you feel it's right. I.. don't want to make you uncomfortable and I don't want you to do anything you don't want to do. Despite everything, I know you're still with Jake and I don't want to cause any more problems between you two, I just-"

"Josh.. do you want me to?" I asked again with a smirk. His face got even redder. He nodded.

"More than anything." He sighed. I nodded.

"Okay, but.. I don't want our first kiss to be on camera." I said softly, avoiding his eyes.

"Neither do I."

He stared back at me for a moment, a subtle smile across his lips. I could feel my heart beating.

"So then.. what do we do about that?" He asked, looking out at the water.

"Well.. when are we shooting the video?" He peeked over at me.

"We've got a few days." He said simply.

"Then I guess we have a few days to figure it out."

Later that night, I stood in the wings of the stage as the guys finished their last song. Jake and I still hadn't talked since our fight and he avoided my eyes the entire night. I stayed on Sam's side to keep from making it any worse.

It was nice to get a different perspective for a change. Looking out at the crowd, I saw how they all admired them. Josh stood at the front of the stage, taking it all in. I couldn't help but smile. I loved watching him at the end of every show, his wide-eyed grin appreciating every moment. Tonight especially. I had never heard him sound the way he did tonight.

He was glowing.

They took their bows, and Sam ran off stage first, flashing my camera a smile as I snapped a few photos. Danny followed closely behind him, waving at the lens. Then Jake ran off into the opposite wings and made his way backstage, eventually looking over at me. I felt my stomach drop. He held his stare for a moment before looking away, continuing down the hall. I knew I'd have to talk to him but I still don't know what I'd even say.

Finally, Josh waved to the crowd and ran off stage making his way towards me. I felt my heart start to race, but still managed to snap a few photos before he got too close. He flashed me a smile, pushing the hair out of his face.

"You.. that was.. I've never.." I stuttered. I don't know why I was getting so choked up over him. He was the one I felt the most comfortable around. I think our talk from before was getting to me. He laughed, moving closer. "You.. were great." I finally managed. "I've never seen you like that.. that was.. that was incredible, Josh."

He bit down on his lip, moving even closer, now gently holding my face in his hands. He stared back at me with dazed eyes, a big smile spread across his lips.

"I don't understand how you guys can do that every night, but it's amazing every single time. And you, how do you.. I don't even.." I sighed. "It's amazing. You're amazing and I-"

Then he cut me off, pulling me in to a passionate kiss.

My head began to spin and it felt like my heart skipped a beat. His hands moved into my hair, tangling his fingers within. My heart beat faster and faster the closer he got, the more he entangled himself within me. I reached up, wrapping my arms around his neck, pulling him up against me.

When he finally backed away, I felt frozen. He stared back at me with that same dazed look and an even bigger smile.

"I'm sorry.." He sighed, even though his face looked anything but.

"But.. I just couldn't go another moment without having kissed you." He said softly, moving one of his hands into mine, the other still caressing my cheek. "Not with you looking at me like that." His cheeks got redder. I was still speechless. I had wondered what it would be like to finally kiss him.. but I never imagined it feeling like that.

I never imagined it feeling.. so right. And I wanted nothing more than for him to do it again. I held my stare on him, wanting to make this moment last as long as possible.

"Well.." He finally said. "Now our first kiss won't be on camera." He giggled to himself, his thumb gently tracing my cheek. I could feel my face burning under the palm of his hand. I'm sure he could feel it too, but I didn't care. I held my stare on him, feeling my eyes get dazed the longer he kept his locked on me. It felt like everything was moving in slow motion. The continuous screaming of the crowd now felt muffled. Everything felt quiet as I became more aware of the loud banging of my own heart beat. Or was that his?

"Wow.." I sighed. He giggled to himself, leaning his forehead against mine.

"Yeah, that's what you've been missing this whole time." He laughed, now biting down on his lip. His eyes moved back down to my lips and I felt my heart pounding again.

"I've wanted to do that from the moment I saw you." He said softly, running his fingers through my hair. I smile escaped my lips.

"Kiss me again." I sighed. He smirked, looking back down at my lips.

"I'll kiss you whenever you want.. but only if you're mine."

Tonight's show was nothing like I had ever felt before. The energy from the crowd was overwhelming. I've never heard our songs sung back to us as loudly as they were tonight. But every time I looked over, it felt like Jake was.. somewhere else. He played flawlessly, but he wasn't the same Jake. And I knew exactly why. He kept his eyes on his guitar the whole time. I felt bad for the fans in the front row constantly trying to get his attention.

On stage was the last place he wanted to be right now.

Looking over in the wings, I saw that Jess had decided to stand on Sam's side tonight. I knew why. I knew her and Jake hadn't talked since their fight; it was probably best if they gave each other some space for the time being. I thought back on the afternoon we had together. She had told me she didn't want our first kiss to be on camera. So that meant she had been thinking about the possibility of our first kiss. Every time I got in my head, I could feel my cheeks burn. I hoped no one noticed.

Every time I peeked over at the wings, Jess was shooting, but every so often she'd peek up from behind her camera and flash me a smile. It melted my heart every time. This is all I've ever wanted, and it felt closer and closer to becoming a reality. I hated what was happening to Jake because of it, but I couldn't help but hold on to the hope of it all.

After our last song, I stood at the front of the stage, taking it all in. I couldn't help but smile, scanning the audience, trying to memorize each and every one of their faces. I knew I would be thinking about them for a long time.

I didn't know why, but I just knew that I would remember this night for the rest of my life.

I finally waved to the crowd and ran off stage, making my way towards Jess who was taking photos until I reached her. She stared up at me, beaming, with a light in her eyes like I had never seen.

She had never looked at me like this before. I could feel my heart melting in my chest. I couldn't contain my stupid smile.

"You.. that was.. I've never.." She stuttered. My smile grew. She was adorable. She had never gotten flustered around me. What was happening?

"You.. were great." She finally managed, laughing at herself. "I've never see you like that.. that was.. that was incredible, Josh." Her cheeks burned a bright pink. I loved when she said my name. What I wouldn't give for us to just be alone right now. It was taking everything in me to keep me away from her.

I bit down on my lip, moving even closer to her. I couldn't help it. I reached up, gently holding her face in my hands, staring back at her with dazed eyes and a big smile spread across my face. She was so beautiful. I could get lost in her eyes forever.

"I don't understand how you guys can do that every night, but it's amazing every single time. And you, how do you.. I don't even.." I felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest. My eyes moved down to her lips. Amy had said that.. I just needed one moment. One moment to take what I wanted, just once. And that could change everything. I could barely hear what she was saying anymore, my heart was beating so fast, I could hear it pounding in my ears.

I just had to do it. There was no better time than right now. I would never get another opportunity like this. I just had to.. take the leap.

"It's amazing. You're amazing, and I-"

Then I cut her off, quickly leaning in before I could psych myself out and pulled her into a passionate kiss.

It felt like the world had stopped. I slowly moved my hands into her hair, tangling them within. My heart was beating faster and faster. All I wanted was to be closer to her, as close as possible. Then she reached up, wrapping her arms around my neck, pulling me up against her. I wouldn't be surprised if she could feel my heart beating against her chest.

When I finally backed away, she stared back at me wide-eyed. I got lost in her eyes once again, flashing her that same dazed look, my smile growing.

"I'm sorry." I somehow managed. "But.. I just couldn't go another moment without having kissed you." I said softly, slowly moving one of my hands into hers, and the other still caressing her cheek.

"Not with you looking at me like that." I said. What I would give for her to look at me the way she was forever. I would give anything. She stayed silent, holding her stare on me. I wondered what she was thinking. Had I crossed a line? I had no idea how she was feeling right now, about me, about Jake, about any of this. But I just had to know.

I just had to try.. once.

"Well.." I finally said. "Now our first kiss won't be on camera." I giggled to myself while continuing to gently trace her cheek with my thumb. I felt her cheeks get warmer under the palm of my hand.

"Wow.." She finally sighed. My smile grew into a toothy grin. 'Wow' had to be good right? It was definitely better than getting slapped, which any normal person would have deserved for kissing their brother's girlfriend.

"Yeah, that's what you've been missing this whole time." I laughed, now biting down on my lip. My eyes moved back down to her lips. What I wouldn't give to kiss her again, but I didn't push my luck.

"I've wanted to do that from the moment I saw you." I said softly, reaching up and running my fingers through her hair. A smile escaped from her lips.

"Kiss me again." She sighed. My heart jumped. I would kiss her forever if she wanted me. But.. deep down I knew I couldn't. I couldn't let myself be a secret, which I knew I would be if I let her make me one. I didn't want to be the guy she ran to behind closed doors. I wanted her to want to be with me. I just wanted to be hers.

"I'll kiss you whenever you want.. but only if you're mine."