I felt my heart drop as I was instantly pulled back to reality.

His?

"Josh.." I sighed. His face slowly dropped.

"I know what that means." He said softly.

"No, I just.. I.. I need to talk to Jake." He bit down on his lip, nodding.

"Okay." He sighed, moving his hand away. "But.. what are you gonna tell him?"

I felt my cheeks burn. I really had no idea what I was going to tell him. I had no idea what I wanted. At first maybe I was just running because Jake got too real. But if anything, this made it even more real. Is this really what I wanted? Or was what I wanted to just be sure about Jake?

"I.. I don't know." I said. "I'm sorry."

I backed away and made my way backstage. I'm sure he couldn't have gone too far. I managed to run into Sam and Danny first near the bar.

"Hey, have you seen Jake?" I asked. Sam turned to me, looking around.

"No, I assumed he went to go find you. He.. didn't seem like himself tonight. What happened?" I felt my cheeks burn.

"I.. I don't know, but.. I just need to talk to him." He looked around again.

"He probably went back to the bus."

"Okay, thanks." I sighed. He nodded, taking a sip of his drink.

I quickly made my way onto the bus, sneaking past the group of fans waiting outside.

"Jake?" I called out. The curtain to his bunk quickly opened.

"Jess?" He asked, peeking out.

"Hey.." I sighed, going over. He stared up at me wide-eyed for a moment. I waited, and he finally moved over.

"Here.." He said softly, rolling his eyes and patting the spot next to him. I gave him a small smile and sat down.

"What happened tonight?" I asked. He glared over at me.

"You know what happened." He said. "We make up before a show, that's what we do. But.. I couldn't find you."

"Well, we have a lot to talk about. I didn't think we'd have enough time." I said. He nodded.

"Yeah." He said simply. We sat in silence until he finally groaned.

"Fine." He said. "I guess I'll go first." He sat up as much as he could in his cramped bunk.

"I am sorry for what I said before. I didn't mean to hurt you. But.. I do think that you run once things get too real, and.. that's something we can work on together. I am sorry I snapped at you though." I bit down on my lip, nodding.

"Thank you." I said quietly, avoiding his eyes. "I'm sorry, too. You're right. I.. I do. And you don't deserve that. You've.. never given me any reason not to trust you. I'm sorry I let Amy get the best of me. You've been amazing." He stared at me wide-eyed again, giving me a subtle smile.

"Thank you." He said, reaching over, intertwining his fingers in mine. My heart started to beat faster. It was crazy how I could forget everything with just a single touch.

"I just.. I want you to be able to talk to me. We have to be able to talk to each other. I.. don't want to worry about losing you every time we fight. We're gonna fight." He laughed to himself. "It's bound to happen. But I want us to get through it.. together."

I wasn't expecting our talk to go like this. My heart was beating faster. The more understanding he was, the harder it was going to be to tell him about Josh.

"Me too.. and.. that's why.. I.. I have to tell you something." I said, keeping my eyes down. My heart was racing.

"W-what is it?" He asked, his face dropping. I felt like I was going to be sick. I didn't know how to tell him. I just had to spit it out.

"Josh kissed me." I said softly. He sat up more, his eyes getting angry.

"He did what??" He snapped. I felt my body get cold.

"He-"

"No, I heard you." He yelled, looking away. My stomach dropped.

"Jake.." He took a deep breath, looking back at me.

"Right. We're.. we're talking about it." He finally muttered to himself, his jaw clenched. I bit down on my lip, staring back at him. He held his stare, and I could tell his mind was running a mile a minute. I'm sure there was plenty he wanted to say right now.

"Did you kiss him back?" He finally asked. I shook my head.

"No." I said. "It.. it all happened so fast."

"When did it happen?"

"Just now. After the show." He nodded, keeping his eyes on me. My heart was pounding. He was quiet again for a while.

"Jess, I.. I love you." He finally sighed. "I.. I told you.. you were the one. Now, I don't need you to be sure of anything like that right now, but I need to know if I'm wasting my time. It would kill me, but if you'd be happier with him.."

"Jake, I do love you. But.. I think I need to be.. alone.. to figure out what I want. This really isn't fair to either of you."

"You know.." He said, a small smirk escaping his lips. "You have said this before.. but it didn't include me last time." My face felt like it was on fire. I bit down on my lip, holding in my smile.

"Jake.." He giggled to himself, looking down.

"Jess, you're breaking up with me. It doesn't matter what you want to call it.. that's what's happening, so.. if I don't make jokes, I'll probably kill him. So.." I nodded, looking down.

"Okay." I said softly.

"If it helps any.. Amy told me she's leaving. Well.. she left. Before you got back." I quickly looked back up at him.

"She.. she did?" I asked. He nodded, his smile growing.

"Yeah, apparently it's not as glamorous as she imagined. So, you can have the back room to yourself again. Unless.. you wanted company.."

"Jake." I laughed. He rolled his eyes.

"Are you gonna be okay with this?" He looked back at me.

"Well, I feel like I'm gonna die, so no, but thanks for asking." He said simply. "But I.. understand. I hate it.. but I understand." I nodded.

"I also told Josh that I wanted to be in the music video with him but-"

"What?" He snapped. "But we talked about th-" I glared back at him. He sighed, sitting back, getting quiet again. He nodded.

"But.." I continued. "I don't think it would be a good idea anymore. I think.. I need to hang back. I just.. I need time to think."

"Okay.." He said quietly, peeking up at me. "When do you think you're gonna know though? Cause.. I still have to meet your family." I rolled my eyes, holding in my smile.

"Jake.." I laughed. His smile grew as he looked down at our hands, our fingers still intertwined. "You can still meet them, I just-"

"You just won't introduce me as your boyfriend." He said, his voice dropping.

"Honestly, I'm doing you a favor."

"You sure this isn't your way of being single for your old fiancé?" He asked, raising his eyebrow. I shook my head.

"Oh, darn. You're onto me." I said sarcastically, giggling to myself. He scrunched up his face.

"Okay, see, I'm the one who's being broken up with Jess, so I'm the only one who gets to make jokes. I know you're kidding, but.. I'm the one hurting here." He said, smirking back at me. My cheeks burned.

I couldn't tell if him pretending to be okay made this harder than him actually being upset.

"I'm hurting too." I said simply. He bit down on his lip, peeking back at me.

"But you don't have to be." He sighed. He gave me subtle smile. "Just pick me." I looked away, containing my smile. I hated how charming he could be. Knowing him, he would be able to talk me out of this completely before I went to bed.

I knew I had to leave now.

I got up from his bunk, but he didn't let go of my hand.

"Well, wait.. I'm sure there's still plenty we have to talk about." He said, gently pulling me back in.

"Jake.." I laughed, trying to pull my hand back. His grip got tighter. I felt my cheeks burn again. He stared back up at me with those big brown eyes and I remembered why I fell in love with him all over again.

"Jake.." I said again. "Don't you want me to know for sure?" He shrugged, rolling his eyes.

"I just.. I don't think you need that much time to make the right decision." He giggled, pulling me back in again. My heart was racing.

"Come on.. just sit.. I'll make us some coffee. We can talk about it more." He said, getting up from his bunk, and then he leaned down, giving me a quick kiss on the lips.

"Jacob!" I yelled, trying to contain my laugh. He stared back at me, wide-eyed, his cheeks bright red.

"Sorry." He laughed, shrugging. He flashed me a toothy smile. "Habit."

This was going to be much harder than I thought.