When I woke up the next morning, I sat up as much as I could, looking around at the unfamiliar bunk. This wasn't Jakes. I looked down to see I was also wearing a sweater I didn't recognize. And then my heart sank as I felt everything come rushing back to me.

It was Sam's.

I listened closely behind the curtain and could tell some of the guys had already woken up, but I couldn't tell who was who. The last thing I wanted to do was face anyone today, Jake especially. I think it would kill me just to see him, but I knew I couldn't avoid him forever.

I slowly opened the curtain, peeking out, hoping to at least grab Sam's attention. Thankfully, he was sitting on the couch, his feet propped up, a cup of coffee in hand. He looked over as I opened the curtain a little more, flashing me a smile. I appreciated him not making a scene as he quietly came over, leaning up against the bunk.

"Hey.." He said softly. "How'd you sleep?" I shrugged.

"Okay, I guess.. considering.." He nodded, holding his stare on me.

"You feeling okay? You knocked out pretty early." He giggled, rocking back and forth as he grabbed on to the side of the bunk. I smiled, nodding.

"Yeah, I'm okay." I sighed. "Is.. is he-"

"Yeah, we're not gonna see him for hours." Sam laughed. "He was wasted when he came back last night." I bit down on my lip.

"Did he say anything?" I whispered. He hesitated.

"N-not really." He finally said, looking away. "I.. I could barely understand him. I'm surprised he even found his way back."

"Okay.." I said softly, holding my stare on him

"Thanks for letting me sleep here last night. And.. for staying with me." I whispered, unsure of who could hear us. His smile grew.

"Of course." He said, his cheeks burning. "What are friends for?" I couldn't help but smile.

"It's nice feeling like I have a real friend here." I said, looking down. "Cause you know, Jake started out as a friend too and.. well.. you see how that ended."

"O-oh yeah.. we.. we don't want.. that." Sam said, his cheeks burning red. I smirked, shaking my head.

"Yeah." I sighed, looking back up at him.

"Do you.. want some breakfast? Coffee?" He said, quickly changing the subject. I nodded.

"Coffee would be nice. Thanks." He flashed me a smile, heading over to the counter.

Looking over, I could see that Jake's bunk was empty. He must've stayed in the back room. I can't say I blame him. But I hated that he was okay with staying back there when just the idea of being anywhere he's been made me sick to my stomach. When Sam came back, he handed me my cup, leaning back against the bunk, looking up at me. I couldn't help but smile, feeling my cheeks burn.

"Thanks." I said, clutching it closer. The bus had started to get colder in the mornings, so I was thankful for any source of warmth.

"I.. I can give this back." I said, motioning down towards his sweater. He shook his head, giggling to himself.

"I have plenty, and you're cold, I can tell." He smirked. "Whenever you're done with it." He said, shrugging. I contained my smile, taking another sip.

"Is he.. in the back?" I asked quietly. Sam nodded, peeking over.

"Yeah. I figured it would be better."

"Yeah." I sighed, looking out the window. I felt my face get hot and tears start to come to my eyes again. I quickly wiped them away, not wanting Sam to see.

"Hey.." He said softly, now climbing back up onto the bunk. "We.. we don't have to hang around here today. How about.. we take a walk later? It could get your mind off of things for a little while. And, to be honest, I'm getting a little stir crazy being locked up in here all the time." He laughed. I smiled, wiping my face again.

"Okay.." I managed. "But first, I.. I wanna call my dad." He nodded, moving out of my way.

As I opened the front door, I was hit with a rush of cold air, stinging my face. I tightly crossed my arms, leaning back against the bus. This call wasn't going to last very long.

Thankfully, he picked up right away.

"Hey Sweetie, how are you?" He asked cheerfully. I wish it helped, but it just felt like everything came crashing down once again. The tears rushed back, quickly turning into sobs.

"Sweetie, what's going on?" He said, his voice getting more concerned.

"It.. it's just.." I managed, trying to calm myself down.

"It's okay, what's wrong?"

"J-Jake.."

"What about Jake?" He said sternly. I felt my heart start to beat faster. After everything had gone so well with them, I hated that I had to call and tell him about this. All I wanted was for everything to finally just go.. right. I tried to explain, but I couldn't find the words.

"Did you two break up?" He asked. I wiped my face, trying my best to catch my breath.

"Y-yes." I said. He was quiet for a moment.

"I'm very sorry." He finally said. "I know you love him, but it's going to be okay. It always is." I felt the tears start to come back.

"I.. I think.. I might want to.. come home." I said, catching my breath. He was quiet again.

"Do you really think that's the best idea?" He asked.

"I can't be around him. N-not if we have to be like this."

"You can't just let a boy come between you and your dream." He said plainly.

"He's not just a boy.." I said softly.

"I know.. but even still. Do you have anyone else there you can talk to? The other boys seemed nice from what I remember, I'm sure it would help to have a friend there. Josh somehow managed to keep your mother alive, he seems like someone useful to have around." He laughed. I couldn't help but smile. He's the only one who could make me laugh at a time like this.

"I.. I do. S-Sam was there for me.. after it happened."

"Well, then I like this Sam boy." He said. I smiled, wiping my face.

"I think you need to finish the tour. And then if you want to come home, that's fine. But you need to finish what you started. You can't let someone else ruin this for you."

"You're right." I sighed, biting down on my lip.

"You know, I was a little worried you were finally gonna have.. new plans this Christmas. I would have understood, but.. every parent dreads the day their kid has somewhere.. else to go. But I'm excited to see you." My stomach dropped.

I was positive those plans were off now.

"Y-yeah.. I'm excited to see you too. But, Dad.. I.. I gotta go, but.. t-thank you." I said.

"Of course, Sweetie. Call me whenever you need me. I love you."

"I love you." I said, hanging up.

I had never given Jake an answer, but deep down, I loved the idea of going home with him for Christmas. I had loved their family, and I had never spent the holidays with such a big family before. It sounded like something out of the movies. Tears filled my eyes again. I quickly wiped them away before heading back onto the bus.

But my heart dropped as I heard Jake's voice. I instantly stopped, halfway up the stairs, unsure of what to do. I couldn't face him, definitely not like this. I bit down on my lip, feeling my heart start to race. I was just going to have to suck it up. I took another step before I was met with Sam at the top, quickly stepping down, turning me around.

"Let's take our walk now."