I felt my chest get tight again and more tears come to my eyes. He stared back at me, his face dropping. He reached out, but I quickly backed away.

"Jess, please.. I don't want this to end badly. I just think.. this is the best thing for us. I think.. this is what we need to do. I.. I'll always be here for you, I just want us to be fr-"

"That's not fair. You can't ask that of me." I said, shaking my head. He bit down on his lip, nodding.

"Okay.." He said softly. "I'm.. I'm sorry. I do love yo-"

"Stop." I snapped, looking away. "You can't do this. You can't say that to me. Not anymore. I.. I can't be here." I said, storming off.

"Jess.." He called out, but I could hear he wasn't following me.

I could hear Sam and Danny sound checking before I got back into the main area of the venue. I quickly made my way to the front doors, trying my best not to draw attention to myself. I really didn't want to see anyone right now.

"Jess!" Sam called out behind me. I should've known it wasn't going to be that easy. I kept walking, quickly making my way onto the bus. I could feel the tears start to come back, and slowly but surely, the cries turned to sobs. I climbed back up into Sam's bunk, shutting the curtain and turning over to face the window.

I didn't know it was possible to feel so heavy, but yet still so empty.

I knew what I wanted, and I wanted Jake. But it didn't matter. And he thought I could still be friends? I've never understood anyone who could be friends with someone they loved. It made me feel like they never really loved them at all. I couldn't just go backwards. Not after everything we had been through. Every time I saw him would kill me. And what if he found someone else all the while "waiting" for me? I couldn't even bare to think about it.

I heard the bus door open, and my stomach dropped. I hoped it wasn't him. I couldn't see him. Not right now. Then I heard gentle knocks outside of the bunk.

"Jess?" Sam said softly. "Are you okay?" I sighed, sitting up, opening the curtain.

"Do.. you want me to come up? Or do you want to be alone?" He asked, staring back up at me with sad eyes.

Out of anyone, I'm glad he was here.

"Come up.." I said quietly, sliding over to make room for him. He hopped up and lied down next to me, wrapping his arm around me, pulling me closer. More tears came to my eyes as I hid my face in his chest, wrapping my arm around his stomach. I felt his hand move down, gently rubbing my back.

"I'm sorry.." I said, trying to catch my breath. He peeked down at me.

"What are you sorry for?" He asked.

"Crying on you so much." I managed, now giggling to myself. His smile grew as his hand moved to my hair, gently running his fingers through.

"It's okay." He sighed. "I don't mind anymore." I peeked up at him, giving him a subtle smile. He smiled back, his cheeks burning red.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked, his hand gently moving down my neck. I felt my heart start to beat faster.

"No.." I whispered. "I.. I don't want to think about it anymore." He nodded, gently running his fingers down my arm.

"Then we don't have to. If.. if you don't feel well enough for the show tonight, it's okay.."

"I'll be alright. I'll just have to clean myself up." I giggled.

"You don't have to worry about that, you're beautiful." He said softly, smiling down at me. My heart jumped.

"I.. I am?" I asked. He bit down on his lip, his cheeks burning.

"I mean.. well, y-yeah." He said. I couldn't help but smile, my heart beating faster.

"Can.. I do anything else to help?" He asked, sitting back up. "Do you want anything?"

"That's okay." I sighed, still trying to contain my smile. "This is nice enough." He nodded, his hand moving back up into my hair. I cuddled closer, hiding my face in his neck. I could feel his heart beating through his shirt. My smile grew.

"I.. I know you said you didn't want to talk about it.." He started.

"I don't." I said softly. I felt him nod.

"Okay, I just.. I'm just sorry he hurt you. If.. if that's what happened." I sat up, staring back at him. He smirked at me, reaching out and wiping my face.

"Maybe you do have to get cleaned up." He giggled to himself. I laughed, playfully shoving him. He flashed me a toothy grin as he pulled me back in.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding." He said, now holding his stare on me. I felt my cheeks burn the longer his eyes lingers.

"Thank you." I said, looking down, finally breaking the stare.

"For what?"

"For being here." I shrugged. "You make this.. so much easier."

"I'm glad." He sighed.

As much as I wanted to talk about what happened with him, I knew that I couldn't without Josh coming up too, and honestly, I didn't want to talk about anyone else right now. It was much nicer pretending that we were the only two that mattered, cause in that moment, it really felt like we were.

"So.. we have a few hours before show time. I noticed there were some places to eat down the road.. if you were hungry. Cause I know I am." He laughed.

"I am too." I said, wiping my face again. He smiled back at me, gently pushing the hair out of my face. My entire body felt hot as he held his stare on me, a small smile spread across his lips.

"I'll let you get cleaned up then." He giggled to himself, hopping down from the bunk. "Meet me outside when you're done." He said, flashing me a smile before heading out the door. I caught myself smiling from ear to ear after he left. What was coming over me? I quickly shook the thought as I hopped down, and went into the bathroom.

My face was red and blotchy, my eyes still teary and bloodshot. How could anyone think this was beautiful? I cleaned up as best as I could, splashing my face with cold water and tying my hair back. Just before heading out the door, I went back to Sam' s bunk, grabbing his sweater and pulling it over my head.