I couldn't help but smile, reaching up, gently holding his face in my hand. His smile grew as he leaned in close.

"You have no idea how badly I want to kiss you right now." He whispered into my ear. I felt my entire body get hot, my cheeks burning bright red as my heart began to race.

"Me too." I sighed, peeking back up at him. He pulled me closer, leaning his forehead against mine, continuing to sway.

But I knew that he wouldn't.

Not yet.

He held his stare on me until the song finally ended, when he gave me a gentle smile, taking my hand in his again.

"We should get you back inside before you freeze." He laughed. "Do you.. wanna go back to the bar or.." I shook my head.

"I should go back to the bus." I said softly, intertwining our fingers. He nodded, leading us back. I stopped at the door, turning around to face him.

"Well, I.. I should make sure they're not all passed out on the floor somewhere." He laughed, motioning towards the bar. I nodded, smiling back at him.

"Okay." I said softly. "Well, thank you.. for tonight." He nodded.

"Anytime." He said, smiling back, his eyes moving down to my lips. My heart started beating faster.

"Well.. m-maybe I'll still be awake.. when you get back." I said, doing my best to stall him leaving as long as I could.

"I hope so." He giggled to himself, shoving his hands into his pockets, holding his stare on me.

I could tell he was doing the same thing.

"Okay.. well.. goodnight, Sam." I finally sighed, hesitating, but eventually turning around, and going back onto the bus, shutting the door behind me. I waited for a moment before quickly running up the steps and peeking out the window to see him slowly making his way back towards the bar. My heart jumped as he turned back around to look, flashing me a smile. I bit down on my lip, trying to contain mine as I gave him a gentle wave. He waved back before making his way down the sidewalk.

I sighed, plopping down on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. Suddenly, everything felt.. different. He hadn't even been gone for five minutes and I already missed him. I couldn't remember the last time I felt this genuinely.. happy. It was amazing how in just a matter of minutes, Sam could make me forget about everything that had once felt like the end of the world. I peeked over at the back room, door still shut. I was sure that Jake had passed out by now.

I made my way back, stopping at Sam's bunk, taking off his scarf and placing it on top of his pillow. I then hesitated before gently sliding the door open to see Jake lying there, scrolling through his phone. My stomach dropped.

"Y-you're awake." I said softly.

"Mhm.." He sighed, keeping his eyes locked on his phone. "And where were you?"

"I went out to.. get some air." He nodded, still not looking up. I made my way over, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"We need to talk." I said. He looked over at me, finally putting his phone down.

"Alright." He said plainly, sitting up. "Let's talk."

I held my stare on him as my heart started pounding.

"Jake, I.. I can't do this anymore." I blurted out. He stared back at me, wide-eyed.

"You.. what?" He snapped.

"I can't keep doing this with you." I said softly, looking away.

"Wh-what are you talking about? What do you mean you can't keep doing this? Is.. is this because of what I said before?!" I could already feel my eyes starting to water.

"Jake, I.. I understand what we've gone through, and.. we could have talked about that too, but.. in that moment, I just really needed you to listen to me, and tell me.. I had nothing to worry about.. but you didn't. You.. you laughed at me. You're supposed to be the one I can go to for anything. I.. I never said I was perfect, and I know I've done things where you've had every right to be angry with me. But.. I just can't fight with you anymore. Every day I wake up and I wonder if we're going to have a good day and.. I can't live like that for the rest of my life."

His eyes dropped into a resentful glare. I felt my cheeks burn, my heart beating even faster. I couldn't tell what was worse, his brutal honesty or his silence.

"Jess.." He sighed, his face finally dropping. "We're.. we're bound to fight sometimes. That's what couples do. But that doesn't mean that-"

"There's a difference between fighting and.. whatever this is. It always seems like.. your first instinct is to try and hurt me when you're angry and.. I just can't-"

"Jess, I'm sorry." He crawled over to me, reaching up and holding my face in his hand. My cheeks burned as he stared back at me.

"Y-you're right. And I am sorry. I.. I wish I could take that back.. but.." I pulled away from him.

"But?"

"But.. after everything you've put me through-

"Jake, I was telling you how I felt and.. it didn't matter to you."

"Because compared to what you've done to me, it didn't." He snapped. My stomach dropped. I got back up, glaring down at him.

"Forget it. I.. I can't do this anymore." I said again. "I never should've come back here."

"Jess, wait!" He said, grabbing my arm and pulling me back down onto the bed. "I'm sorry, just.. please. We'll.. we'll talk about this in the morning, okay? Just.. come to bed. We've both had a lot to drink and-"

"I'm not drunk, I know what I'm saying, and I-"

"Jess, you hurt me, over and over again, and yet.. I'm still here. I say one thing that hurts your feelings and.. you're already halfway out the door."

"You hurt me too, Jake." I snapped. "You say that I'm scared of something real but.. I'm not. I'm scared of being tricked into thinking something is real when.. maybe it's not."

"Jess.." He sighed. "Why are you doing this?" I shook my head, looking away.

"See, you don't listen to me, I tell you that-"

"No, I heard you. But why are you really doing this? Are you.. are you doing this for Sam?" I felt my cheeks burn.

"I'm doing this for me." I said, avoiding his eyes.

Despite everything, I knew he would always be able to get me to do whatever he wanted.. with just a look.

"Sam isn't the relationship type, Jess." He said, his voice dropping. My heart sunk, tears coming to my eyes again. Maybe he wasn't before but.. people could change.

"You're trying to hurt me again." I said softly. He bit down on his lip, staring back at me.

"I'm just warning you." He sighed. "He can't give you want you want, Jess. I know what you want."

"Then why is it so hard for you to give that to me?" I yelled, glaring back at him.

"Because! I am terrified every single day that you're gonna leave me! For.. anyone else! Do you know how hard it is to be.. honest.. and vulnerable with someone when.. you don't know how they're gonna feel about you tomorrow? I want to give you everything, but I.. I just can't! Cause I'm scared you're just gonna.. take it and run. And then.. I'm left with nothing. I'm empty. And.. I can't handle that, Jess." He said, biting down on his lip, tears coming to his eyes. "I need you. You're.. everything to me."

My heart dropped.

I had never seen him like this before.

"I shouldn't have to threaten to leave.. every time I need this from you." I said, crawling closer to him. He nodded, wiping his eyes.

"I'm sorry." He sighed. "But.. I want to.. I just.. I need reassurance from you too." He stared back at me with sad eyes, filling with tears again. I felt a knot form in the pit of my stomach.

"Please, Jess.." He said softly, holding my face in his hands, pulling me in. "Whatever you need from me, I'll give it to you." I bit down on my lip, staring back at him.

This wasn't at all what I expected. And deep down.. I don't think this is what I wanted anymore. But just like always, he knew exactly how to suck me right back in.

"I.. I was gonna play this for you before I.. asked you something.. but.. I think you need to hear it now." He finally said, pushing himself up from the bed, going over and grabbing his guitar. My heart was racing. He wrote me something?

"Now.. I'm not the singer so.. don't laugh." He said, keeping his eyes down. I nodded, biting down on my lip, feeling a smile escape my lips.

"I would never laugh at you." He peeked up, smirking back at me.

"Okay." He sighed, and started to play.

After he finished, he peeked back up at me, his cheeks burning. I stared back at him, my heart pounding in my chest. I was speechless. He then reached over towards the end table, opening the drawer and pulling out the little black box from his bedroom. My heart jumped.

"This is for you." He said softly, gently placing it on my knee. "But.. I don't want to give it to you yet. Not.. when we're like this. But I just want you to know.. that I am serious. About this, about you, about.. everything."

I looked down at the little black box, unsure of what to do.

"You can look if you want." He said, keeping his eyes on it. "But.. I'd prefer if.. you let me give you the proposal you deserve." I nodded, handing it back to him, still not sure what I was feeling.

He leaned over, placing it back in the drawer.

"So.. that's what I can give you right now." He said, staring back at me, still bloodshot and tired. I saw his eyes move down to my lips as he moved closer, gently placing his hand on my leg. My heart started pounding as he slowly moved it up, leaning in.

"Jake.." I sighed, backing away. He reached up, moving his hand behind my neck, pulling me into a passionate kiss. It felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest. He slowly tangled his fingers in my hair, kissing me harder. I moved my hands up his chest, gently pushing him away, leaning my forehead against his.

"Jake, I can't-" He cut me off, pulling me into another kiss, gently pushing me back onto the bed as he crawled over me.

"I love you so much." He sighed, his lips moving to my neck, kissing me harder. I moved my hands up, gripping onto his shirt.

This wasn't fair. I would always give in to him, and he knew it.

"Jess.." He sighed, his kisses getting harder. His hands moved down to my waist, pulling me up against him. I moved my hands down, pushing them away.

"Jake, I.. I can't." I said, now maneuvering out from under him and getting up from the bed. He stared up at me wide-eyed as I backed into the doorway.

"Jess, w-what's wrong?" He snapped.

What was wrong was the fact that.. he was saying all the right things but.. it felt like maybe.. it was too late. There was only one person I wanted right now.. and that was Sam.

"Jake, I'm sorry, but.. I.. I can't." I finally said, shutting the door behind me. On my way out, I reached up into Sam's bunk, grabbing his scarf again, wrapping it around me. The lingering scent of cinnamon and vanilla made my heart jump.

Our night had been almost perfect, and I needed to end it right.