I picked up my head as I heard the door open, and my whole body went numb. My head started to spin as Jess stared down at me, the color draining from her face. I didn't know what to do, or what to say. My mind went blank.

She then quickly backed out of the room.

I should've figured she wouldn't want to see me.

I wouldn't want to see me either.

I don't know how we were going to survive the rest of the tour like this. I could barely look at her without wanting to die. The look on her face from the other night was still engraved in my mind.

"No, no, no.." I heard Sam say. "Jess, you have to talk to him."My stomach dropped. Sam. He was behind this? I just assumed he would've taken this opportunity to finally be with her himself.

"Sam, I told you, I don't want to see him. How could you-" My heart dropped. That had already talked about this together.

"Because, it's not what you think, Jess. Just.. talk to him." My cheeks burned. He was right, it wasn't at all what she was thinking. I wish I could just.. explain, but.. it wasn't that easy. I had promised..

"Of course it's what I think! He did what he always does!" I closed my eyes, running my fingers through my hair. I hated how she thought of me now. She was the last person I ever wanted to put through this. All I wanted was for us to be happy, but.. I couldn't live with myself knowing that one day, I could be the one to hurt her.

But it didn't matter.

I had already hurt her.

"Just.." He stopped. "You two have to stop running away and just talk to each other. You both are saying the same things, but you never say them to each other. Now talk." He snapped, pushing her back into the room, shutting the door behind her.

"And neither of you are coming out until you solve this." He called out. Great. So they would all be listening. As if this couldn't get any worse. We couldn't even have privacy during one of the most uncomfortable moments of my life.

I held my stare on her, still no clue of what to say. What could I say? There was no apologizing for that, there was no making up for it. I knew there was nothing I could do to redeem myself, and even if there was, it didn't matter. She deserved someone better than me. Someone who would never hurt her, no matter the reason.

Honestly.. she deserved Sam.

They deserved each other.

We were both silent, holding our gaze on each other until finally, she came over and sat down next to me on the bed, still keeping her distance. All I wanted was to reach out and hold her. I missed how safe I felt with her in my arms. She then peeked over at me. I felt like I was going to be sick as her eyes met mine.

I couldn't stand the silence between us anymore, but I couldn't speak. It was agonizing how she could be both my peace but also tear me open from the inside out. I just.. if I could only explain..

"Jess.." I sighed. And then she snapped, rolling over onto the bed, covering her face with her hands. My heart shattered at the sound of her cries, growing louder as her breaths got heavier. I felt frozen within my body, not sure what to do. To me, she was mine, she would always be mine, but how can you be there for your someone when you're the reason they're hurting?

"Jess.." I said again. It was the only thing I could manage to get out. She quickly pulled away, keeping her eyes down.

"Don't touch me." She snapped. I moved away, not wanting to upset her any more than I already had.

"How could you do this to me?" She yelled, finally sitting up, turning to face me. I could feel my heart breaking in my chest as she stared back at me with her bloodshot eyes and tearstained face. I then felt tears come to my eyes. This was killing me. I couldn't let her go through this anymore.

"Jess.. I.." I tried, my voice cracking, my cheeks burning red.

"Why is it so easy for you to just.. walk away from me?" She cried. "Why.. why can't you ever just.. fight for me? How am I supposed to believe the things you say to me when you just.. leave! You always just leave!" I bit down on my lip as more tears came to my eyes. I would do anything for her. That's why this was happening. All I wanted was the best for her, and if that wasn't me then.. I just had to deal with it. I reached out for her again, but she quickly pulled away.

"No!" She snapped. "All I wanted was for us to be 'done' and.. I.. I thought we finally were! What is it that.. makes it so easy for you to just leave me whenever things get hard? How am I supposed to.. plan a life with someone like that? What if I was pregnant? You would just.. walk out on me?"

If she was pregnant, I wouldn't care what anyone said to me. Baby or not, she was my family. I remembered how terrified she was during our first scare, I also hated how it was called a scare, because I was anything but. In that moment, I was ready, and to think that she still worried about me not being there for her. I would do anything for her, for us. So.. why did I let anyone get into my head now?

I hesitated for a moment, reaching out for her again. She held her teary-eyed glare, but let me this time. I gently wiped away her tears as mine continued to fall. I then saw her eyes move down to my neck. I peeked down too to see she was still wearing the necklace I got her. A smile escaped my lips, quickly fading as her face dropped again.

"I was ready for everything with you, and you left." She wept. "And I hate that.. despite everything, I still want you. I hate that you can make me feel like this, and I still want everything.. with you, and only you." She moved in closer, wiping my eyes, pushing the hair out of my face.

Just the fact that despite everything I had done, she still wanted to be with me proved that she deserved so much better than me. But I knew that if the roles were reversed, I wouldn't care what she did either. I would always want her too. I would always be hers.

Maybe we deserved each other.

"Whether you want me or not.. I am always going to be yours." She whispered. My heart jumped. I sighed, gently running my fingers through her hair, pulling her closer.

"Jess, of course I want you. All I want is you." I finally managed. She stared back, her eyes getting wide. "But.. I'm not good for you. You deserve-"

"What do you mean? Yes you are."

"Jess, we just.. we can't-"

"Why not?" She snapped. I stopped, biting down on my lip, feeling my cheeks burn.

"I just want what's best for you, and I'm not-"

"You are the best thing that's ever happened to me." She said. And then my heart melted in my chest. In that moment, I could see our whole lives together flash before my eyes. She reached up, holding my face in her hands.

"I don't know what happened to make you think-"

"Your dad said no." I confessed. I couldn't take the blame for this anymore. Not when it wasn't my fault. This isn't what I wanted. I wanted her.

"W-what?" She sighed. I looked away, trying to finally stop the tears from falling.

"I told him that I wanted to propose to you.. and he said no. He said.. if I really loved you as much as I say I do.. I need to leave you alone. Because.. I'm not good for you. I would only.. hurt you in the long run, and Jess, I.. I don't know what you've gone through in the past, and maybe.. one day you can talk about that with me but.. I can tell you, I would never-"

"I know you wouldn't." She said. "Jake, I love you, I don't care what-"

"Jess, I love you more than anything, but-"

"No 'but,' why don't I get a say in this? Why is this between you two? This is my life, I know what I've been through, and.. I'll tell you about that. I promise. But.. this isn't his decision. I appreciate you trying to involve him in this, but if he doesn't approve then.. I don't want him involved in any of this."

She was right. In the end, it really didn't matter what anyone thought about us. As long as we were happy. So.. why was I letting anyone else get in the way of our happiness when.. together.. we were happy. But.. I never wanted her to resent me. As far as I could see, he was all she had, and I knew how important it was to her that he approved of.. anything she did, and that included me.

"Jess, he's your family.."

"You're my family." She sighed, pulling me into a passionate kiss.

Without hesitation, I reached up, holding her face in my hand, pulling her in closer, kissing her back harder. How badly I missed the taste of her lips. My heart started beating faster as she crawled into my lap, tangling her fingers in my hair. I leaned my forehead against hers, staring back up into her bloodshot eyes.

"Jess, I just.. I don't feel right knowing he doesn't-" She cut me off, pulling me into another kiss, and my mind went blank. I sighed, slowly moving my hands up her back, pulling her closer.

"No." She sighed, her lips moving down to my neck. My heart jumped, my whole body getting hot. "This is my decision, and I choose you. I choose you and I'll choose you every single time." My grip on her got tighter as I instantly lifted her up, gently placing her down on the bed, crawling over her.

I would never get used to how beautiful she was.

Oh, how I loved her.

"Jess, I-"

"No." She said again, pulling me back in. "You don't get to run away anymore. I'm your's and you're mine and.. that's it. We're done." I could feel my heart welling up in my chest, a smile escaping my lips as I pulled her into a deep kiss. My heart began to pound as she clung to me, as if holding on for dear life.

I hoped she never let go.

I knew I wouldn't.

I would hold on to her forever.

And I would never run again.

Because there was no where in the world I would rather be than with her.

Wherever she was, I was home.

"Okay." I finally sighed, staring back into her eyes. "I'm yours."

My lips moved down to her neck as she tightly tangled her fingers in my hair again. Gentle kisses turning to love bites, doing my best to hold myself back from her, unsure of how far she wanted things to go. All I know is I needed her to be closer. I always needed her closer.

I then stared back at her wide-eyed as she pushed me back onto the bed, climbing on top of me. My heart started pounding as she gently ran her fingers up my arms, intertwining them within mine, pressing my hands down above my head. I was mesmerized, starving for whatever she wanted to do to me. I couldn't take my eyes off of her as a sly grin spread across her lips. My heart jumped as I felt her body grind against mine. I tried to reach out for her again, but she pressed my hands down harder, her face now inches away from mine. I stared back at her with lovestruck eyes, begging for more.

I just wanted her.

I needed her, all of her.

And then she pulled me into a passionate kiss, and it felt like every broken part of me had been melded back together again.