And I was right.

More and more fans began lining up earlier outside of the venues, eventually trickling over to right outside the bus. I peeked out the window to see them huddled around the doors, just waiting for a glimpse of any of the guys. I'd like to think this had nothing to do with the engagement and everything to do with the fact that Jake was getting more and more publicity for the band, but lately it was getting harder to believe.

"You should go talk to them." I said, turning to Jake. "They want to see you." He peeked out, quickly turning back.

"I don't understand why they've gotten so crazy lately." He said softly.

"They're just excited about you." I giggled. "I can't say that I blame them." He shrugged, a smile escaping his lips. I looked out the window again to see a few of them staring back up, waving when they noticed me.

"Well, they saw me.. now you have to go out there." I laughed. He sighed, shaking his head.

"They're basically waiting outside of our living room window." He giggled. "That's what this is."

"They're harmless." I said, leaning in, gently kissing his forehead as I got up from the couch.

"Oh.. where are you going?" He asked, turning back towards me.

"I just.. have a headache, and I've been tired so.." I shrugged, leaning in the doorway, forcing a smile. But what I really wanted was to avoid being pulled outside with him. I had heard enough over the last few days, I didn't want to talk to anyone else about the engagement or that music video ever again.

"Okay.." He managed. "I.. I won't be too long." I nodded, going into the room.

I watched as Jess made her way into the back room, shutting the door behind her. I'm sure she felt fine. She just didn't want to deal with them anymore, and I didn't blame her. This was my fault. She shouldn't have to deal with them. She didn't sign up for any of this, and I felt horrible that she was being dragged into it because of me.

I could hear their voices just outside the door as I made my way down the steps, instantly getting quiet as I turned the knob.

"Hey guys!" I called out, flashing them a smile. They backed away nervously, flashing me their timid grins. "You guys are so crazy, waiting out here for so long just for us." I laughed. Their smiles grew as they laughed amongst themselves.

"Well, we love you guys!" One said, holding out her CD. I smiled back at her, signing it, leaning in close as she took a photo.

"Thank you so much for coming out. I hope you enjoy the show!" I said. And the process continued until I was able to make my way through the group, making sure I got to everyone. I anticipated they'd eventually leave after we all talked, but they hung around. I wasn't entirely sure what to do, feeling like it would be rude to just leave them.

"So.. where are you guys from?" I asked, trying my best to make conversation.

"I drove 5 hours to get here!" One said. "So it would be so nice if you guys could play closer next time." She laughed. I nodded.

"Yeah, I'm sorry." I laughed. "I have no control over where we play. They tell me where to go and I just get on the bus." They all laughed amongst each other again.

"Is Jess gonna come out?" One asked. My stomach dropped.

"Oh, um.. no, she's.. she's not feeling well today. She wants to make sure she's good for the show later so she's laying down."

"Are you guys really engaged?! That's so sweet. We're so happy for you!" I couldn't help but smile, feeling my cheeks burn, ignoring the subtle comments from the back of the group, most along the lines of "well, not all of us.."

"Y-yeah." I said, knowing I couldn't deny it now. "Thank you guys.. so much, really. Yeah, we're.. we're really happy."

"Were you guys dating before the tour started?" My face felt hot, unsure of how much I should actually be answering.

"Um.. n-no, we.. we met the first day. I had seen her work online and.. I knew we had to have her for the tour and well, the rest was history." I laughed, feeling my blushing get worse. Their smiles grew.

"Is that why you guys used her for the video?" My heart dropped. This stupid video. It honestly took everything in me not to call the label and just ask them to delete it at this point. It's done way more harm that good.

"Um.. y-yeah, she understands our music and.. she knew what we wanted so.. we felt it was a good fit."

"Why wasn't she with you then if you guys are together? I'm sure that was weird.. seeing her with Josh." I felt my heart beating faster. Why did we have to talk about this? Why were they so comfortable talking to me about this? I knew they were curious, but sometimes it felt like they didn't see me as a real person anymore.

"Uh.. y-yeah, it was a little weird but they were.. completely professional. You know, she's a photographer, she's worked in the business, so.. it wasn't like.. that." I muttered, avoiding their eyes. "Josh is the singer, so.. well, you know how he is." I laughed, trying to take any amount of attention off of me. They all laughed, nodding.

"But.. um.. I'm gonna go check on her, okay? Thank you guys for coming out. It's always so nice to meet you guys, and we really do appreciate you guys coming early. I'm sure the rest of the guys will be out later." I said, heading back into the bus.

"Bye, Jake! Thank you so much!" They yelled out, waving until I shut the door behind me.

I sighed, taking a deep breath as I made my way up the stairs, still able to hear their muffled voices from outside. I knew what I was signing up for when I started this, I knew what I wanted, but sometimes.. there were parts of this life that really made me wonder if it was worth sacrificing the other parts that I valued. What if one day Jess decided she didn't want any part in this anymore? It's not fair to her to drag her through this life that was only going to get more and more hectic as the days went on, as the interviews continued, as more and more people started coming out to the shows.

There was no winning.

On one hand, this was my dream. This had always been my dream, and I would be an idiot to ever think about walking out on it now, and I didn't want to. But sometimes there were parts of this life that no one could ever get used to, nor should they ever have to. How could I ever expect to have a normal life with Jess when things kept getting more and more out of control? I know I had said that I didn't want "normal," but.. after our night at Addison's.. the idea of normal started to sound.. kind of nice. Deep down, honestly, I hoped I didn't win. It would at least slow things down for the time being, and I didn't need an award.

I already had everything I've ever wanted.

Well.. almost everything.

I made my way to the back room, quietly opening the door to see Jess lying down, facing the opposite wall. I sat down close to her, gently brushing my fingers through her hair, noticing she was already asleep. I couldn't help but smile. She was so beautiful, even while she slept. I crawled into bed next to her, gently wrapping my arm around her, pulling her up against me. Taking a deep breath, I inhaled the soothing scent of her shampoo, the subtle hints of her sweet perfume.

It was amazing how her just being here made everything so much better. I could have only ever dreamed of finding the one person where just getting to hold them in my arms made the rest of the world disappear. As I began to feel like everything was dragging me in every which way, she was the one that always pulled me back down to Earth, and I hoped that throughout whatever we were about to go through.. I could be that for her too.

"So they're gonna call tonight?" I asked, taking Jake's hand as he lead us out of the venue and quickly into the bus. We didn't linger outside much anymore, which part of me missed. I felt like every day I was dragged from place to place, without getting to enjoy any of it anymore in fears of getting bombarded by everyone waiting outside.

"You know how these things work.." Jake laughed, rolling his eyes, plopping down on the couch. "They say tonight but they really mean next week, and even that's a maybe. They probably won't even call, I'll probably find out through someone else online." I sighed, leaning my head on his shoulder. He didn't want to admit, but I knew how badly he really wanted this, and despite knowing what it would mean for us, I wanted it for him too, if not more than he did. If anyone deserved it, it was him. He told me not to.. but I had secretly voted for him too.

"I say, regardless of what happens, we celebrate tonight." Danny said, going into the fridge. "You haven't even won yet and look what's happened. It's an honor just to be nominated, right?" He laughed. Jake smiled, rolling his eyes.

"Alright, one drink." He smirked, peeking down at me. I pulled him in close, kissing him on the cheek.

"I think you're gonna have plenty to celebrate." I said softly. I saw his smile grow as Danny handed him a glass. When he handed me one, I shook my head.

"None for me.. I'm still feeling a bit off." He nodded, handing it off to Josh. Jake leaned in close.

"You still don't feel good?" He asked. I shrugged.

"I'm fine, I just don't wanna push it, it's okay." I said softly, giving him a gentle smile. He nodded, holding his stare on me, his eyes getting wide.

"Don't get too excited." I giggled, shaking my head. "I get headaches all the time, this is nothing new." He sighed, taking a sip of his drink.

"Alright, but.. just let me know if it gets worse okay? We've already had you in the hospital once, and I cannot do that again."

"I know, I know.." I assured him, pulling him into a gentle kiss. His smile grew as he stared back with dazed eyes, gently touching my cheek. I loved how he could always make me feel like the only one in the room, even with the simplest of gestures.

As the night carried on, the drinks continued to pour, and the room got louder, roaring with laughter and excitement. I hung back as I watched Jake amongst everyone, happier than I had seen him in a long time. He looked back over at me from across the bus, giving me a subtle smile. With his eyelids getting heavy and his cheeks flushed pink from the alcohol, I felt my heart jump as he mouthed "I love you," subtly reaching his hand out for me. I didn't know why, but I could tell it was going to be one of those moments that I would remember for the rest of my life. We were surrounded by our closest friends and family, and I knew any minute now, we were about to get life changing news, and I couldn't wait to be there with him to celebrate.

"Hold on." I laughed, holding up my finger to him. His smile grew, playfully rolling his eyes as I motioned towards the bathroom. He nodded, tapping his wrist, pointing to his imaginary watch. I shook my head, quickly making my way in. As I shut the door behind me, I turned around to see the extra tests we had picked up sitting on the shelf above the toilet.

I had taken them out earlier this morning.. just in case. I hadn't felt good all day and, what was left of the hope in me so desperately wanted it to be something that deep down, I just knew it wasn't, so I couldn't bare to take another one, risking that same sinking feeling I had gotten time and time again. At this point, I figured I should just throw them away.

But curiosity got the best of me, and I knew that I would just forget all about it when we were celebrating Jake when he finally got the call that he had won.

I placed it on the sink as I washed my hands, fixed my hair, reapplied what makeup I had brought into the bathroom that morning, anything I could think of to kill the agonizing three minutes that I insisted on putting myself through again. By now the bus had gotten quieter. I wondered what was going on outside, but I knew that Jake was probably too drunk to even notice I was gone for this long, so that would save me another upsetting conversation.

This was stupid. Why did I even decide to do this? I was having the perfect night, and I was just setting myself up for disappointment once again.

And then I looked down.

My heart jumped, my entire body going cold.

Two lines. There were two lines.

It was positive.