When I got back to the car, I took out my phone. Nothing. I wondered how it was going. They must still be there for Josh not to have said anything yet. How long did it take to sign a contract? What else could they be talking about? I called him, his phone going straight to voicemail.

Hey, I just got out. She's fine, she just wanted to give me some time to myself, which is nice and all but.. I just wish she would have told me so I wasn't worrying. Anyway. No updates, but nothing's gotten worse so.. that's good too, I guess. I hope everything is going well. I can't wait to hear all about it. I'm just gonna head home and you can call me once you get this. Alright, I guess I'll see you later. I love you.

On the drive home, I couldn't help but think about everything my mom had said. Was everything I thought I remembered about my childhood just.. not true? Why hadn't she mentioned this before? Why was everything coming out now? Sure there were plenty of times I remembered being with Jake when I was younger, but for the most part, anything I could recall vividly was with Josh. Had my feelings really been hurt that bad? Did I just not want to remember all of those times? Because suddenly they didn't feel.. real anymore? Like they didn't mean nearly as much to him as they did to me?

Once I got home, I quickly made my way down into the basement, rummaging through old bins until I finally found our photo albums. All marked by year, or years as the photos became more and more sparse. I grabbed the first one on top of the pile and started flipping through.

Photos of me and Mom in front of the house, before we went in for the first time, me playing in the moving boxes and rolling around in the backyard. And then little by little, Jake and Josh started popping up here and there, until eventually those were the only photos we had.

They were so adorable, with their big eyes and even bigger smiles. The three of us playing on their jungle gym in their backyard, Josh going down the slide head first while Jake stood behind me, pushing me on the swing as best as he could.

It was all starting coming back to me now.

Photos of Jake and I laying in the grass while he played his guitar, still a little too big for his tiny hands while I stared up at him admiringly, not once ever without a huge grin and a lovestruck gaze. Photos of us down by the lake with his arm wrapped around me, pulling me up against him as his head leaned against mine, and photos of us sitting on the back steps, hand in hand while sharing ice cream cones that melted all over our faces and clothes. But in so many of them, there were moments of him just staring at me when I wasn't looking. All these years, all I ever wanted was for him to look at me like this and.. it turns out, he always was.

As I continued to flip through, I couldn't believe how many moments I had completely forgotten, or remembered wrong, thinking they were with Josh when it was really Jake the whole time. What was I supposed to do with this now? And did he remember this? Or.. did we both just conveniently forget as we got older. Should I even bother asking him about it? Or would that just make everything even more complicated? Why did it never feel like this when I was living it? If I had seen this while it was happening, maybe..

Maybe what?

Maybe things would be different?

That didn't change the fact that he still chose to be with those other girls instead of me. That was his decision. He had countless opportunities to tell me how he felt about me but, instead he picked someone else. Every time. Why wouldn't I try to move on? Any sane person would.

He did have a point though. I could have said something to him too, and maybe I would have, if they hadn't all been so beautiful. How was I supposed to feel? Of course I would be hurt, seeing how easy it was for him to move on, one by one, treating relationships like they were nothing. I guess because.. at the time, for him they really were.

Then I reached the last page and my heart dropped.

We couldn't have been more than six or seven years old. We had just come from a wedding of someone in the neighborhood and I was in a frilly white and pink dress, him in a tiny black tux, sitting beneath that same tree that he always took me to out in the big, open field.

In the first photo, we looked at each other with the biggest smiles I had ever seen. They were contagious. But in the photo below it, I held his face in my hands, kissing him on the lips. This photo was blurrier, my mom probably jumping when she realized what I was doing, but I couldn't believe it.

Jake was actually my first kiss.

I pulled the photo out of the plastic sleeve, holding it up to get a closer look. It's amazing how clear everything is when you're this young; you don't second guess anything. When you feel something, you act on it. You say it. You just.. do it. I'm sure young Jaime didn't even think twice. She knew she liked him and she just wanted to kiss him, so she did, and oh how I envied her courage. What I would give to go back to a time where nothing was as sweet and innocent as young love.

And then I heard my phone ring, Josh's name popping up on the screen. I quickly slid the photo into my back pocket.

"Hey!" I exclaimed. "How was it? What happened? How did it go?" My heart jumped at the sound of his gentle laughter.

"Everything went well. Who knew there was so much to sign. We basically signed our life away but.. it sounds pretty legit. They want us in the studio next week to get started. It's.. wild how fast this is all happening but, I don't know, you were right, it is exciting. Thanks for making me do it." My heart jumped.

"I didn't make you do anything." I laughed. "I just.. guided you in the right direction. I'm glad everything went well. How was Ja-.. how was everyone? Are they excited?" He was quiet for a moment.

"Yeah, everyone's excited. It's.. it's gonna be a lot but.. they really seem interested in what we want to do, which is really nice. They liked our songs and they really don't want to change anything so.. thanks for being such an amazing muse." My face was hurting now from smiling so big.

"I love you." I sighed. "When are you getting home?"

"Well.." He said cheerfully. "I took my own car and met everyone there so.. I just left and I'm stopping off at the store now." I could hear the embarrassed grin in his voice. I knew what he was hinting towards. "So I thought.. maybe.. I could come by and.. if you wanted to, we could-"

"Yes." I heard him giggle at my excitement.

"Okay then, I'll see you soon. I love you."

"I love you." I sighed, then hearing him hang up.

It was happening.

It was finally happening.

It felt a little silly feeling like we were planning it, but at this point I didn't care how it happened. I quickly ran up the stairs, making my way into my room, straightening it up as much as possible, not like he hadn't already spent the night. But tonight was different. Tonight was going to be the night, and I wanted everything to go perfectly.

I looked through what candles I had, trying to find the most romantic of the bunch. I felt like out of any of them, rose would be the best, right? It would go with his roses on my end table. I lit two, carefully placing them on my dresser.

I then quickly rummaged through my drawer, trying to find any matching set of underwear that I had. Guys noticed that, right? Is that something he would even care about? Probably not, but.. the last thing I wanted was anything embarrassing. But I didn't exactly have this in mind when I went underwear shopping. Why was this so difficult? Why was I suddenly so nervous when just a few minutes ago I was.. excited? The matching red set would have to do.

Before getting changed, I took the photo of Jake and I and hid it at the back of my drawer. I then quickly tossed my shirt and shorts way, changing into the different underwear, wrapping my black silk robe around me.

And then it wasn't long until I heard his car pull into my driveway.