"This is way more people than we're used to." Josh said, peeking out at the crowd from the wings. I stood back, admiring him as he nervously looked around.

"You're gonna do great." I said, leaning back against the wall next to the rack of guitars the label had provided. Now that I thought about it, Jake really didn't tell me much of what happened at their meeting, but just based on the size of the show they were able to put together on such short notice, I could tell they were a pretty big deal.

"I just.. I don't want to blow it for everybody." He said, coming back over to me. Reaching out his arms, he pulled me into a tight hug, nuzzling his face into my hair. I wrapped my arms around him, gently running my fingers up and down his back. I could feel him smile.

"And.. about before.." He started. I shook my head.

"We really don't have to talk about before."

"Okay." He said, backing away. "Just.. thank you for being honest with me. I want things to be good for us and.. they'll only get there if we.. talk about these things, right?" I nodded, feeling my cheeks burn. "And I guess, eventually.. with practice-"

"Stop." I laughed, placing my finger over his lips. He smirked back at me, giggling to himself.

"Okay, okay."

It was so hard to believe now that he was the one who once needed so much convincing, where how many hours later, it seemed like the only thing he could think about. Meanwhile, it was the only thing I wanted to get out of my mind. I couldn't help but feel like.. there was something wrong with me. Our whole lives, we're preached to about how amazing it is, the lengths people will go to get it, to have it, to have someone to have it with, and yet, now here I was.. wishing that I had never done it at all. But I could never tell him that. It would break his heart. And it wasn't even about.. him. I don't know what it was. I just.. felt different. I wanted to enjoy it just as much as he seemed to, both times, but both times I was just left feeling.. unfulfilled.

"And maybe, if you're up to it, after the show I could come back over and-"

"Um.. we'll see. I.. I might want to go back to the hospital and check on my mom. I really haven't heard much from her and you know-"

"Oh, I can come with you." He said, flashing me a smile as he reached out for my hand, intertwining our fingers. I looked down at them, feeling my body get hot, unable to remember the last time I even had a minute to myself.

"N-no.. that's okay, it's your big night. You don't want to spend it in a hospital."

"I want to spend it wherever you are, Jaime." He said simply, his smile growing. He reached up, gently caressing my face, pulling me back into another kiss.

"I love you, Jaime." He sighed, staring back at me with adoring eyes. I couldn't help but smile. Why wouldn't anyone want to spend every second with someone like him? What was wrong with me? He was perfect, absolutely perfect, but like always, I could just never fully enjoy it.

"I love you, too. And.. I'm so proud of you." He flashed me a toothy grin.

"I really haven't done anything." He shrugged.

"Of course you have." I said, peeking back out at the crowd. "Look at all of this."

"Jake did this. I'm just here for the ride." I felt my face get hot.

"Well, he couldn't have done it all alone."

"Well, he-" I cut him off, pulling him back into another long kiss.

"Just let me celebrate you." He eventually nodded.

"Okay, and then maybe later-"

"We'll see."

"There you are." I heard from behind us. "I didn't think you were gonna make it." I turned around to see Jake making his way through the wings, guitar slung behind his back, flashing us a wide grin. A smile escaped my lips as I felt my heart start to beat faster. He wore a dark red button down, leaving it undone. I quickly averted my eyes as his locked on mine.

"Yeah, sorry. We were just.. busy." Josh said, smirking down at me. My stomach dropped as I nudged him, shooting him a look. Jake looked back over to me, giving me questioning eyes. I just wanted to melt right into the floor.

"Well, um.. anyway. Uh.." He stuttered. "This is.. um.. basically a showcase for us. They wanna judge the interest and gauge the possibility of a tour." Tour. They would be leaving. I couldn't tell you the last time I had ever been away from them for more than a few days, if even that. And who knew how long a tour would be, and especially now. Josh had already invited me to tag along, but.. that wasn't my place, as badly as I didn't want them to go.

"How long would the tour be?" I asked. Jake's eyes shot back over to me.

"Well, they said it could be a few weeks to.. a few months." My heart sunk. He noticed.

"Wow. A few months?" He nodded, flashing me a smile, despite his eyes still seeming unsure.

"Josh, we need you back here for vocal warm ups." Someone called out, peeking their head in from the hallway.

"Okay, be right there." He said, giving them a confirming nod. He then reached out for me, pulling me into a long kiss. "I'll be back soon."

"Okay." I said softly, trying my best to avoid Jake's eyes that I could feel burning a hole through me.

He stayed quiet until Josh was out of earshot.

"So what was that about?" He asked.

"W-what was what about?"

"What did he mean by.. busy." He mocked, shooting me a look.

"Well, what does it matter to you?" This was honestly the last thing I wanted to talk about, with him of all people. He peeked over towards the hallway before turning back, moving in closer.

"You know why it matters to me, Jaime." He said softly. He lifted his guitar over his head, placing it down on the stand. I could feel my face start to get hot, tears starting to come to my eyes, but I quickly blinked them away, praying it was dark enough backstage where he didn't notice.

I looked back out at the audience, noticing it filling up more and more.

"Jaime.."

"Did you invite anyone tonight?" I asked, trying to change the subject. His face dropped, shaking his head.

"No." He said simply. "She's already here." My heart jumped as I avoided his eyes, looking back out again, not wanting him to catch the smile that escaped from my lips.

"Stop." I eventually smirked. His smile grew as he moved in closer.

"Are you gonna tell me what happened or not?" He asked. I shook my head.

"No, I.. I don't want to talk about it." I finally muttered, peeking up at him.

His face dropped again as he stared back at me, as if reading my mind. I always hated how he could do that. But how convenient that it always seemed like he couldn't when I was thinking about him.

"Jaime, are.. are you okay?" He finally asked, and something in me snapped. Tears instantly filled my eyes and no matter how quickly I tried to wipe them away, they just kept coming.

"Jaime.." He sighed, coming over and pulling me into a tight hug. I clutched him tightly, hiding my face against his bare chest as I felt his hand come up, lightly caressing the back of my head, pulling me up against him. He didn't say another word, just held me for as long as I needed before gently kissing the top of my head, leaning his against mine until I finally let go.

When I backed away, he stared back at me with somber eyes, gently wiping away my tears. He then leaned in, whispering into my ear.

"Call me later." He said, before grabbing his guitar and heading back down the hallway.