It's been a long time since Mom and I spent time together that didn't involve me having to take care of her. It even seemed like she might be feeling better, unless she was doing that thing that mom's always do, pretending like everything was fine to make things easier for me.

I appreciated it today.

Before heading up to my room, I hung back at the bottom of the stairs, watching her as she finished her tea at the kitchen table. Eventually looking up from her cup, she flashed me a tired smile, suddenly looking older than I remembered.

"You okay?" She asked. I nodded.

"Yeah." I sighed. "I'm okay." She held her stare on me, taking another sip.

"Thank you." I added.

"For what?"

"For today." She nodded, her smile growing.

"Of course, honey. I know it's hard, but.. you'll always have me." I hesitated for a moment, finally heading back upstairs, shutting my bedroom door behind me before plopping back down into bed.

Rolling over, I turned off my light, grabbing my phone and looking through my contacts before finally pressing call.

"Were your ears ringing?" Josh said, answering after one ring. I felt my cheeks burn, a smile escaping my lips.

"Were you talking about me?"

"Close.. I was thinking about you." My heart jumped.

"So.. how are you doing?" I asked, quickly changing the subject. I heard him sigh, most likely disappointed.

"I'm okay."

"Are you having fun yet?" I asked. He laughed.

"No.. not yet."

"Why not?"

"B-because.. I.. I have fun with you." I bit down on my lip, feeling my cheeks burn.

"I'm sure you can still have fun. Where are you guys tonight?"

"You know what's funny? I'm not entirely sure." He laughed. I couldn't help but smile. "I dozed off in the van. I'll have to ask Danny once I go back in."

"Oh wow.." I said sarcastically. "Never thought you'd get so big that you don't even know what cities you're playing anymore." He laughed harder. At least he could be happy during these few moments.

"Jaime, you know I've always been bad at that stuff."

"You're right.."

He was quiet for a little bit. I could hear the city sounds in the background, cars flying by, horns honking, the conversations of strangers as they walked by. It was so weird existing in two entirely different worlds.

"How's your mom doing?" He asked.

"She was.. really good today. She asked how you guys are doing."

"Well, please tell HER that we're doing great." I shook my head, giggling to myself.

"Oh, you tell her that?"

"I know I can tell you the truth." He said softly. "But I don't want her to worry. Cause then she'll tell my mom, and then it'll be a whole big thing.."

"But you want me to worry." I sighed. "Got it." He was quiet again.

"No, I just.. I know I can tell you these things.. right?"

"Of course you can."

It killed me knowing that after all this time, they weren't out there having the time of their lives. But it was still new. There was still time. It was just something they had to get used to. They had lived their entire lives playing for our hometown where everyone loved them. I'm sure it wasn't easy getting in front of a new crowd every night where no one knew you. But soon enough.. they would.

"I miss you, Jaime." He said softly. My stomach dropped.

"I miss you too, Josh."

"Really?"

"Of course I do." He was quiet again.

"Thank you for calling."

"I promised I would." I heard him sigh.

"Is that why you're calling?"

"No, I.. I just.. I wanted to hear your voice."

"So did I." He whispered. "But.. um.. I should go."

"O-oh.. y-yeah, okay." I managed, now wiping the tears from my eyes.

"Have a good night, Jaime."

"Y-you too."

"And.. please call again."

"I will. I promise."

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

I quickly wiped my eyes, shoving my phone into my pocket before going back into the venue and making my way down the hallway where I was met with Sam practically carrying Jake out of our dressing room.

"W-what's going on?" I asked. Sam rolled his eyes, dragging him down the hall.

"He got black out drunk again, that's what going on." He snapped, pushing his way past me. I sighed, standing back, watching this again as he carried Jake out to the van. This has happened practically every night of the tour, and I hated to think it was about Jaime, but..

I understood.

I knew how badly he missed her.

And all he wanted to do was feel nothing.

I grabbed my things from the dressing room and quickly made my way back out to the van, hopping into the back before Danny climbed into the driver's seat. Sam shoved Jake into the back next to me, slamming the door behind him, hopping into the passenger seat.

I could tell Sam was sick of playing babysitter, but he stayed as quiet as he could, knowing how much we've had to take care of him in the past. But I could tell.. it was ruining this for him.

Which wasn't fair either.

This was Jake's dream, and here he was, throwing it away. I'm sure he wasn't going to remember any of this.

"Is there any way to get her out here?" Sam asked, turning back to face me. "I can't do this for the rest of the tour."

"You know she can't, her mom-"

"Isn't there anyone else who could be there for her mom? Look at him." My stomach dropped. How could he say this to me? Like I wasn't just as torn up about it? But at least I could pull myself together enough to not black out every night over it.

I turned away, facing out the window. I was done talking about it. It's like in the blink of an eye everyone had completely forgotten everything her and I had been through, just like always. I had to act like nothing was wrong while we all had to drop everything to take care of Jake.

"Hey.. maybe.. lay off a bit." Danny whispered, peeking over at Sam. He sighed, rolling his eyes, but he stayed quiet. Peeking over, I could see Jake starting to sit back up, reaching around for his phone. I knew what he was doing.

"No.." I snapped, grabbing it out of his hands. The last thing he needed to do was talk to Jaime when he was like this. I'm sure she was already enough of a wreck, she didn't have to worry about him like this now too.

"I need to talk to her." He mumbled, reaching out for me.

"You can talk to her tomorrow, just.. go to sleep."

"Just give me my phone!" He yelled.

"Will you guys stop?" Sam snapped.

"Just give me my phone, I have to call her."

"You don't have to call her tonight, it's late. Let her sleep." I sighed.

"I promised her I'd call her."

"Well then you shouldn't have gotten so fucked up, so.. way to go. Now she's gonna think you forgot about her." I saw his jaw clench, his hands quickly curling into fists before he started swinging at me.

"Give me my phone!" He yelled, pushing me up against the door.

"No! You're gonna upset her! All she wanted was for you to take care of yourself and you couldn't even do that!" I covered my face as he swung again, the van now quickly swerving off onto the side of the road.

"Are you guys joking?!" Sam yelled, turning back to face us. He reached over, grabbing Jake's shirt, pulling him off of me. "Why am I the parent here?! Just.. go to bed! This is the last thing we need right now." Jake pushed the hair out of his face, sitting back down, holding his glare on me.

"Give me my phone." He muttered.

"If you mention the phone again, I'm gonna throw it out the fucking window." Sam yelled, now turning to me. "Just lay off." He whispered, his face dropping. I held my glare on him until I couldn't take it anymore, tossing his phone over at him.

"Fine. Take it. Do whatever you want. I don't care." I sighed. "She's probably up crying over you anyway." He stopped, holding his stare on me for a moment before finally putting his phone back down onto the seat, leaning his head on the window and going to sleep.