Jake quickly shot me a wide-eyed look, visibly upset before climbing into the van, practically slamming the door behind him. I kept my eyes forward, unsure of how he even wanted me to react now in this kind of situation. I did my best to stay neutral, positioning myself in the middle of the seat, trying not to touch either of them, but.. it wasn't exactly spacious back here.

"We got everyone?" Sam joked, peeking back at us from the rearview mirror. I nodded, giving him a subtle smile. He winked back at me before finally pulling out of the parking lot.

This was torture, having to sit next to him without even getting to touch him, after how many nights of just clinging to what was left of his scent on my pillows, burying myself within the blankets that still occasionally smelt of is cologne. It was like going back to the way things were, only then I hadn't gotten a taste; I had no idea what I was missing, and how much I'd eventually crave it.

"How long until we get there?" Jake asked, now leaning up against the door, propping his head up onto his hand as he stared out the window.

"Yeah, we've got some time." Sam laughed. I heard Jake groan, his warm breath fogging up the glass.

There was no denying that Fall was here in full force, leaving me with a permanent chill within the tips of my fingers and the tips of my toes, even despite the raging heat blaring from the noisy, old vents. I then felt Josh lean over, gently taking my hand in his, holding onto my fingers.

"If you get tired, you can lean on me." He whispered. "I don't mind." I bit down on my lip, containing my smile.

"Thank you." I said, as quietly as I could manage. He nodded, now gently rubbing my hands within his, warming them up. Over the years he had always known how easy it was for me to get cold, never missing an opportunity to be the one to warm me back up again.

I always appreciated it.

But despite that, I didn't want to show any favoritism. Well, I did.. but he had already decided we couldn't act like we were together anymore. So instead, I tried my hardest to keep myself upright, despite how impossible it was becoming just to keep my eyes open. I knew I'd eventually lean one way or the other when my body finally gave into the exhaustion.

Slowly but surely I could feel myself fading in and out of consciousness, my eyes burning with the flashing of the street lights flying by, occasionally catching a word or two from the girls in the back followed by Sam and Danny chiming in here and there.

Looking over, I could see that Jake had already fallen asleep, now propped up onto the door, his head buried within his pillow, his body turned away from me. And on the other side, Josh still forced himself to stay awake, my guess, remaining hopeful that I would end my night cuddling close to him, which I knew would only cause problems come the morning. Part of me wishes I had just chosen to sit in the front with Sam. I even would've drove if it meant getting to avoid all of this.

I'd be sure to bring it up after the next show.

"You okay?" I heard from the front. I forced my eyes open again, looking into the rearview mirror to see Sam peeking back at me with a smile. I nodded, forcing a smile back.

"I'm okay." I whispered.

"You should get some sleep. It's gonna be a while." I nodded, looking back out the window.

"Yeah.."

"You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah.. I'll be alright."

"Do you.. want to sit up here?" He asked. I peeked back at him, hesitating for a moment.

"N-no. That's okay. I'm okay."

"Alright, just.. let me know."

With everything going on, I was happy to have him. Sam and I had always been good friends growing up. He was the closest thing to a little brother I've ever had, so those moments when he decided to take the reins, well.. it was just nice to feel cared for.

And then I heard Josh sigh, slowly turning his body as he leaned is head on my shoulder. I couldn't help but smile, knowing that just like that.. he was out. I carefully leaned my head against his, finally allowing myself to close my eyes, the outside world becoming more and more of a dark blur.

Then there was a loud thud, Sam hastily swerving over with a blaring screech, quickly regaining control of the wheel. Looking around in a panic, I noticed Josh was still asleep, subtly adjusting, getting comfortable on my shoulder as Jake's head shot up, instantly looking over and reaching for me, pushing me back against the seat. I couldn't help but smile, feeling my cheeks burn as his lips turned into a tired grin.

"You okay?" He whispered, gently grabbing onto my arm. I nodded, trying my hardest to keep myself from practically burying myself within him. He hesitated for a moment before leaning in, gently kissing my cheek before curling back up against the door, closing his eyes again.

I held my stare on him for a moment, just taking the time to appreciate how beautiful he looked under the passing glow of the street lights. It wasn't fair having to feel like this, after wanting nothing more than to be with him again, to have to sit back and act like this wasn't absolutely killing me. I had sat through this enough; too many backyard parties and dark movie theaters where we were inches apart and yet still so miles away, and I didn't want to do it anymore.

I then slowly reached over, taking his hand, intertwining our fingers. I saw him carefully sit up, forcing his eyes open to look over at me, giving me a gentle smile.

"I love you." He mouthed. I felt my heart jump.

"I love you." And then finally, my eyelids became too heavy to prop open any longer, forcing me into a deep sleep.

I woke up to the sound of quiet voices in the front seat, noticing that Leah had made her way up, Danny switching into the back. I wondered when we had stopped, and how I had slept through everything. I stayed quiet, not wanting to draw attention to the fact that I was awake just yet, now feeling an arm around me as I stayed cuddled against someone's chest.

I instantly recognized the freshly clean scent.

I carefully adjusted as I felt his grip on me get tighter, pulling me in closer to him. I had forgotten how comfortable he was, those few nights alone in my room, fitting within his grip so perfectly. His warm breaths blew against my face, followed by gentle humming with every exhale. I tried my hardest not to smile, unable to deny just how adorable he could be.

That was a feeling that I knew would never go away.

"Look at them back there.." I heard Leah whisper. "How did this happen, I thought that her and Jake-" My stomach dropped.

"Don't bring it up." Sam muttered. "Her and Josh are.. just friends."

"Yeah, they sure look friendly." He stayed quiet for a moment.

"He loves her, Leah." He whispered.

"Jake loves her, and you know that. You've heard how he talks about her."

"I know, but-"

"I have never heard anyone talk about a girl the way Jake talks about her. Not even you." She jokes. I heard Sam giggle to himself.

"You have no idea what I say about you when you're not around, don't worry." He assured her, despite the fact that.. he really didn't talk about her at all when she wasn't around. Not to me at least.

"Good save." She laughed. Though I really hoped he did feel that way. I liked her, and I hoped she could be someone that I could be better friends with in the future.

"I just don't understand why they broke up." She said. "Not after everything."

"I don't know what to tell you.." Sam said softly, his voice trailing off, leaving me to believe that he may know more than I assumed. "But.. they're done."

"Interesting.." She added, now turning around her chair. I kept my eyes shut, trying my best to remain still, keeping up with my soft, even breaths. "Considering.. they're both still wearing their rings."