"Surgery?" I managed, feeling my head start to spin. I could barely think straight. My worst fear was happening and I was just somewhere across the country doing what?

"When can you get home?" She asked again. "I'm gonna go in soon and I won't be able to talk."

"I.. I don't know.. I.. I mean, Sam-"

"Well, when you figure it out, text me and we'll talk." She said, abruptly hanging up.

My whole body went cold, a sudden ringing filling my ears as everyone around me was muffled, like I was so far removed, watching them from above like a dream, or more so.. a nightmare.

Sam noticed first.

"Jaime?" He asked. I could hear him but I still couldn't bring myself to focus. He put his bass back down on the rack, quickly making his way over to me, gently placing his hand on my shoulder.

"Jaime?" He said softly. "Are you okay? What's wrong?"

"My.. my mom.. she's having another surgery. I.. I have to go home."

I then saw Josh's head instantly shoot up, staring back over at me.

"Home?" Jake asked, as he stopped playing. "Why? What's going on?"

"My mom.." I muttered, now feeling tears fill my eyes. I didn't know what to do. I barely knew how to get myself out here, I had no idea how to get back home on my own. And then when I did, that would mean having to be without them again, and it was hard enough when she was okay. I couldn't handle not having them and everything going wrong with her. It was.. too much.

It was all too much.

"Hey, don't worry, we can get you home, it's okay. I'll handle it." Sam said, pulling me into a gentle hug. I rested my head against his chest, trying my best to calm down, as I peeked over at Jake, who seemed to hang back with a nervous look on his face.

"I've never flown alone before." I muttered. I felt him squeeze me tighter. I don't know why that was my main concern right now, but everything here was still so new to me. Maybe it was because it felt like the only thing I could kind of control.

"It'll be okay." He said. "They make it really easy for you, it'll be fine. Don't worry, I'll figure everything out."

"Thank you." I whispered, doing my best to hold back my tears.

"You hang here with them, I'll.. I'll go figure it out." He assured me, giving me as much of a confident smile as he could manage before making his way into the wings. Jake then cautiously made his way over, reaching out for me. I didn't hesitate to wrap my arms around him, hiding my face in his chest as I felt him gently run his fingers through my hair, holding me close.

"I just.. I don't know what to do." I sighed. "It's like.. nothing seems to be working, everything just.. always goes wrong, and.. I.. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. What else can I do? I just.. I have to just.. deal with it?" He stayed silent as my words sounded like muffled cries in my ears. I just needed something, anything, but I knew that wasn't something he could give me, that wasn't something that anyone could give me right now.

"It's.. it's gonna be okay, Jaime." He finally said. I could hear the nervousness in his voice, but.. at least he was trying. He had never really been around when things happened with my mom. That was always something that Josh was there for.

"Hey.." I finally heard from behind me, Josh then gently placing his hand on my shoulder. I felt Jake slowly let go of me, backing away as Josh, reaching down, grabbing my hand. "Remember.. that one time you and I stayed up in the waiting room all night?" I nodded, wiping my eyes. As terrifying of a night as that was, I was so thankful to have him there with me. It made it so much easier, as easy as a situation like that could ever be.

"Yeah.." I sighed. He pulled me in close, tightly wrapping his arms around me.

"And remember what I told you?" He asked. I nodded, biting down on my lip.

"That you'd always be there." I whispered.

"And I always will be." He said, now feeling his hand on the back of my head, gently tangling his fingers into my hair. "No matter what happens, Jaime, you won't have to do it alone. I promise."

"You can't come with me." I sighed, knowing what he was implying. "You.. you have to be here." His face dropped as he held his stare on me.

"We.. we can cancel, it-"

"No." I said, forcing a smile. "You can't. But.. thank you. I appreciate it."

"Jaime, I don't want you to-"

"It's okay." I said, pulling away. "You guys.. you have this going on, I can't get in the way of that, not with everything I have to deal with."

Before he could say anymore, I quickly made my way through the wings towards the dressing room where I had left my things, seeing Sam sitting on the couch, frantically scrolling through his computer. I went over, sitting down next to him.

"I really appreciate you doing this." I said. He shrugged, giggling to himself.

"Of course, Jaime."

"I'm sorry to inconvenience you like this, I just.. I don't know ho-"

"It's no problem, really." He said, flashing me a quick smile before focusing back on the screen. I sighed, leaning my head on his shoulder as I watched him scrolling and clicking through like he had done this hundreds of times.

We sat in silence together for a moment, which I appreciated. At times like this, sometimes it was just best not to say anything.

"Now.. can I ask you something?" He finally said. I sighed, knowing it wasn't going to last long.

"Sure."

"You and Jake.." He started. I knew I should have expected this.

"What about me and Jake?" I heard him giggle as he peeked down at me.

"You guys didn't break up." I hesitated for a minute before shaking my head.

"No." I admitted. He nodded, bringing his focus back to the computer.

"He loves you so much, Jaime." He whispered. "I've never seen him like this before. And.. when he told me you guys broke up, well.. he just.. even when it wasn't real, which.. I'm not gonna get into your business but.. even having to say it.. the idea of it killed him, so.." He trailed off.

"So.. what?" I asked.

"So.. if you've ever doubted him.. which, I could understand if you did.. I mean, you know, considering.. we've all seen him with his other girlfriends.. but.. you have to know.. that's not how he sees you. Not at all. He's.. he's crazy about you." I couldn't help but smile, feeling my cheeks burn.

"But.." He added. I knew there had to be more to this.

"But?"

"But.. I know how you feel about Josh." He whispered, peeking over at the door. I appreciated his discretion.

"And.. how is that?" I asked. He shot me a look with a playful grin.

"We all see it, Jaime. We've always seen it. And.. maybe it's different, and I can see that you love Jake, I don't doubt that at all, but.. if you do have any doubts-"

"I don't." I quickly said, feeling my face get hot. He was quiet again, staring back at me as if still unsure.

"Okay."

"Sam.. do you love Leah?" I asked. He smirked back at me, his cheeks now burning red.

"Why do you ask?" He laughed. I shrugged, leaning my head on his shoulder as I watched him continue to click through.

"I don't know.." I sighed. "I just.. sometimes I feel like I know what love is and then.. sometimes I feel like.. I still have no idea."

"Well.. I think.. when you know, you know. And.. if you don't know.. well.. that gives you all the answers you need." I nodded.

"So.. do you know?" He shrugged, giggling to himself again.

"I think I do." He finally said.

"Well, you either do or you don't." I laughed, peeking back up at him. He was quiet for a minute.

"I think that I can.." He finally admitted. "One day."

"So you think.. it's something that can happen in time. Something that can.. grow stronger?" He nodded.

"I think so. I think anything that happens too fast.. that's not love. It's nice, and it could be mistaken for love, but.. I think when you love someone, when you really love someone.. there's no other word for it. And you just know. I think, with them, it's like.. everything stops and.. you're finally just.. at peace."

We sat together in silence as he finished up, letting out a satisfied sigh as he pressed 'Confirm,' and a text instantly popped up on my phone.

"There you go." He said. "That should be everything. I'll call you a car, and they'll take you to the airport and then.. everything should be straight forward from there." I nodded, reading everything over despite it feeling like it was in another language.

"Thank you."

"Of course."

I gathered the rest of my things as he grabbed his jacket from over the chair, wrapping it around himself and then he lead us back down the hall and out back through one of the side doors. It didn't take long for the rest of the guys to find us, Jake instantly coming over, pulling me into a hug.

"Let me know when you land, okay?" He said, his face still uneasy despite trying his best to look okay. I nodded, reaching up, gently caressing his cheek. How badly I wanted him to come with me. I just didn't want to have to do this alone again, but I know I couldn't ask that of him, despite hoping, maybe, he would consider it.

Maybe.. if he had just.. offered. I would've never let him leave but.. just hearing him say he'd come with me.. maybe that would've been enough.

But he didn't.

"I will." I sighed, staring back into his eyes, trying my hardest to memorize every detail, appreciating every second of him being here before I was flown back home. I then pulled him into a long kiss, gently running my fingers through his hair until I could feel him smile.

"I love you." He whispered, kissing me again.

"I love you too."

As I heard the car pull up, I backed away to see Josh standing there, watching from the door. I hesitated for a moment before quickly running over, pulling him into a tight hug. It took him a moment to react, as if surprised I'd even come over to say goodbye at all. But eventually my heart jumped as I felt him wrap his arms around me, hiding his face in my neck. Every time he held me, I just felt.. at peace. Even at a time like this, he could make me feel.. okay.

"It's gonna be okay, Jaime." He said. I nodded, trying my best not to cry again. I could tell he was waiting for me to let go first, but I didn't want to. Everyone always told me 'it was gonna be okay' but the only time I ever believed it was when he said it. The only time I ever truly felt okay.. was when I was with him.

"I love you, Jaime." He whispered, my heart now feeling like it had skipped a beat.

"I love you." I said, finally backing away, holding my stare on him for a little longer as he flashed me that adorable smile that made me feel like I could just melt, time and time again.

Grabbing my bags, I tossed them into the backseat, climbing in as Sam closed the door behind me, and I was off, watching them all disappear in the distance.