As I opened the door, Josh's head instantly perked up, flashing me a tired grin. I leaned in the doorway for a moment, unable to contain my smile that always managed to slip out whenever he looked at me.

"I don't know how you do it." He said softly. I made my way over, sitting down next to him on the edge of the bed.

"Do what?" I asked, feeling my cheeks burn as his eyes slowly traced my face, eventually moving down to my lips.

"Look so pretty in the morning, without even trying." My heart jumped.

"You don't have to lie to me." I giggled, avoiding his eyes.

"I would never lie to you, Jaime."

And I knew he never would.

"So.. everything okay?" He asked, now trying to change the subject. I nodded.

"Y-yeah. I'm.. I'm gonna come back with you, if that's okay." His smile grew as he brought his attention back to the computer and continued typing away.

"You know that's more than okay with me." He smirked. "Is.. uh.. everything.. else okay?" I knew he meant Jake.

"Mhm."

"Jaime.. about last night.." He said as causally as he could manage, keeping his eyes glued to the computer, but I could still see his cheeks turning pink from the glow of the screen.

"W-what about last night?" I asked, knowing exactly what he was referring to. He continued typing until he finally shut the laptop, looking back up at me.

"You kissed me." He said, trying his best to contain his smile. I nodded, biting down on my lip to try and contain mine as well.

But it was impossible. And we both knew it.

It was impossible to deny what was happening again.

"I did." I muttered. "And.. you kissed me back." He nodded.

"I did." We both sat in silence, no doubt reminiscing on what was one of the best kisses of my entire life. When I kissed him, something in me came alive again, like I was ignited from within, every little spark deep down inside of me combusting with every touch. I was a body of gasoline simply waiting for him to strike the match and set me ablaze.

"I.. I want to kiss you like that again." He whispered, now looking down at his hands, awkwardly picking at his nails.

"So do I." I said, feeling my body get hot, remembering how it felt to have his hands all over me, taking in his warmth. He peeked up at me, as if questioning if I really meant it, but he didn't move, I knew, waiting to see if I would let him.

"I told Jake what happened." I finally said. His face dropped.

"Oh.."

"I just.. I didn't want to make it seem like we were sneaking around, you know, I just.. I mean.. him and I.. and.. well.." I trailed off, still not entirely sure of anything anymore. Especially not when he looked at me like that.

He then moved in closer to me, visibly nervous despite trying his hardest not to be. I felt my heart beat faster as he held his stare on me, his mind clearly racing before he finally reached out, gently taking my hand.

"Josh, I-"

"Jaime, I just.. I've been going over this in my head over and over all morning and I just.. I need to just.. say it or else I'll.. I'll hate myself for not even trying.."

"What is it?" I asked, now feeling his grip on me get tighter.

"Jaime, I.. I love you so much, and.. last night, I.. well, I thought that maybe.. if that was something you wanted well, I.. I could be ready for that again, but.. with you still being with Jake and all I.. I knew nothing was going to happen, but then.. then you kissed me, and it felt like.. well, like so much more than just a kiss. It felt like the first time we kissed. And.. Jaime, I can't tell you how much I think about that. Our first kiss, our first date, our first.. well.. even though it didn't go as well as we'd hoped, I still wouldn't have wanted it to have been with anyone else."

I bit down on my lip, feeling like my heart was going to beat out of my chest. I could hear it in his voice, just how hard this was for him. I stayed silent, holding my stare on him, never wanting it to end.

"You are the love of my life, Jaime. I know that. I'd put you before anything. I would do.. anything for you. And I just.. I want you to have everything you deserve and.. I think I could give that to you. I'd love just one more chance to be the one to give that to you. And.. I know you love Jake, and if he truly does make you happy, then.. I won't get in the way of that. But.. if there's any part of you that thinks.. maybe it could be me.. then.. please.. just let it be me, Jaime. I'm trying so hard to be okay with this, with us just like this, but.. I think we are meant for so much more. I think.. maybe we did rush into things and maybe if we just took a step back, and took our time, and got it right, we could be what we were again, if not better. I just.. I feel it in my gut and I know that it's you. It's always been you, and.. it's always going to be you. I love you, Jaime."

He stopped, his eyes moving down to my lips as he leaned in closer, reaching up, gently holding my face in his hands before finally pulling me into a passionate kiss. I instantly wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him in closer, kissing him back harder.

He had never been so.. forward before, always sitting back, waiting, just hoping for me to make the first move, and maybe deep down this was what I was missing from him. Jake took what he wanted, and I loved it. He made me feel.. weightless, like for those moments we were together, he could take care of everything, and I could just turn off my brain and finally let myself feel wanted in all of the ways he wanted me without a care in the world.

My whole life, I've had to take care of everyone; I've had to make all of the decisions and if I wanted something to happen, it was up to me to make it so. But Jake took charge, finally letting me feel comfortable and safe enough in the passenger seat to give him full control. And maybe that was one of the things that made it so impossible for me to let him go.

He tangled his fingers in my hair, kissing me harder, pushing me back onto the bed as he crawled over me. My head already spinning, everything feeling like it was happening so fast all the while like time had stood still with him.

His lips then slowly moved down to my neck, his hands gradually moving up my arms until they found my hands, tightly intertwining themselves within as he pressed them down above my head.

"Josh.." I sighed. He moved away, staring back down at me with lustful eyes as he tried to hide his heavy breathing.

"Mhm?" I bit down on my lip, holding my stare on him while I tried to find the words, but I could barely think straight, not with us like this.

I just knew I couldn't let it go any further.

Not after everything I had said to Jake.

But when I opened my mouth, nothing came out. I was stuck within his lovestruck trance as he reluctantly leaned back in, cautious of any resistance, gently kissing me again when I didn't fight back.

There was no denying how much I loved kissing him.

He kissed me like he meant it; like there was nothing else in it for him but to simply satisfy his own craving of my lips, never once an act of obligation, but rather just one of the many ways he showed me he loved me, his affections always tender and kind, caressing every curve, paying extra attention to those in which I tried to hide, showing me that even at my weakest I had always deserved the greatest magnitudes of his love.

And because of that, he deserved every ounce of mine.

Finally, I moved away, staring up at him as he stared back in a daze.

"Are you okay?" He asked. I nodded.

"Y-yeah, I just.. n-not like this." He moved away, sitting back up to face me as I leaned in close, gently kissing his cheek. He reached out for me again, running his fingers through my hair as his eyes stayed locked on my lips that now shared same shade of desiring pink as his.

"Whenever you're ready, I'll be here."