After spending several days at home, I finally began to feel like myself again. The situation with Brandon really made me lose my strength and mentality.

But there had been another strange feeling inside of me those past days as well.

I couldn't put words to it, but I felt empty and like I was missing something when I was at home by myself.

Even if the thoughts and imaginations of Brandon bring back the fear, I still had a strong feeling that I wanted to meet him again, to hear what he had to say, to see his beautiful and broken face again, and to see if there was any reaction to my absence.

It was in fact, six days since I left his room without a word after his outrage.

I had spent a lot of time together with Dolores and Vincent the past few days and I tried to tell them as much as I could about the reason behind why I was home.

Dolores was there for me when I fell down in panic attacks when I caught the flashbacks from the objectionable situation in cellar number 401.

Dorothy didn't suspect anything when I talked to her on the phone, which made me thankful and calm. I didn't want to bring up the dramatic situation with her, even if she was my chief...

With a shaking hand, I stroke a loop of hair behind my ear in front of the mirror in the ladies changing room. My heartbeat was rough, and my hands were sweating, but I felt ready again. I didn't have much choice but to go back to work, so the sooner, the better...

I met with my three good friends, Mildred, Harriet, and Janet in the office room, and they all asked me how I had been and if I felt better after my absence from what they thought was sickness.

I chose not to tell them anything and just responded as I had just come out of the flu or a cold.

I sat down for a while and read through Brandon's journal and files to catch up with his treatment during the time I spent at home.

I quickly realized that there was not much progress in his sessions with nurse Browne. I also read in the notes that there were new cuts found over his wrists every day since Tuesday - which was the day I left.

My stomach turned when I read the information, and I remembered that time I noticed a new wound on his arm, and he told me he did that to himself because he missed me.

What if that was actually true, and that it was the reason for the new ones as well?

To know that I would soon find out, made me both nervous and tense. I never wanted to be the reason for someone to hurt themselves, especially not my patients.

When I felt calm and enough updated on Brandon, I placed his files in the archives and left the office again.

For every step further down the hallway, my stomach ached even more. Some part of me wanted to get there faster, while the other just wanted to run away and never get to meet with him again.

As I walked over the floor and focused on the sound that my shoes made with every step, I heard a familiar voice behind me.

"Nurse Frazier!"

I closed my eyes with a sigh. I didn't feel like talking to anyone.

I turned around and forced a smile.

"Hello, Donald," With a friendly voice, I answered him as he approached me in the hallway.

"How are you? Margret told me you were sick," His voice is friendly in a caring way.

Did he ask Margret about my absence?

It felt weird. We only went on one date, and we didn't even kiss. Because of my heavy work, we hadn't even talked very much lately. I just waved my hand as I passed him by in the entrance.

I didn't have the energy nor the interest to walk over to him to chit chat, when my mind was so caught up with chaos.

"Yeah, I caught a bad cold. But I feel much better now, thank you,"

I smiled at him, and shrugged my shoulders as I was in a bit of a hurry. The silence between us got awkward enough.

My stomach ached with discomfort.

I felt terrible for Donald. He was just being nice to me, trying to keep up a conversation, to make a friend.

"I'm glad to hear that you feel better now,"

I felt so bad not for asking Donald how he was doing himself, but it was too late now. The conversation had already lapsed.

I swallowed my bad conscience.

"Thank you, Donald,"

Once again, I smiled in a try of saving the uptight atmosphere between us before I continued.

"I really have to go now. I'm already late for a meeting. I'll keep up with you," I said in an assuring way to keep his expectations with me.

He deserved to be treated just as well as he treated me, but it appeared to me that he was interested in more than just friendship, which I was not ready for with my life.

Donald nodded his head gently and placed his arms around his back. He was indeed handsome, and his aura gleamed with benevolence and kindness. I knew he was a pure gentleman.

"I understand. You have work to do. I look forward to seeing you around,"

His goodness made me melt. I didn't deserve his attention, he was too good for me.

With burning, rosy cheeks and too bad of a conscience, I turned my back on the imposing, appropriately dressed man and slowly began to walk my way down the long, white corridor.

I walked with quick steps, bit the skin in my cheeks. There was so much going on in my brain already. I was on my way to meet with Brandon again after almost a week of absence. I was on my way to meet with him for the first time after a situation that nearly tore me apart and had me devastated.

Then Donald showed up, interrupted my progress and caused me even more pressure and stress.

Now I had to start the progress all over again. Because once again, the fright and anxiety about seeing Brandon reached my body with the most painful inconvenience. How was I supposed to not fall down on my knees and panic the moment I laid my eyes on him?

I felt angry. Angry with myself, angry with Donald...

I reached the big iron door to ward 5 and stepped inside the security doors.

Now there were just a couple of short seconds left. I walked through the corridor, all the way until I reached the horrid end.

I took one last deep breath and pinched myself in my arm. I wanted to get rid of the pain, of the horror...

With the usual guard tightly behind me, I put my key in the hole to unlock the door to cell number 401.

This was the moment.