mental health, mental health facilities, being sedated, and anxiety/panic attacks.

May 28th, 2022

Ironsplinter Mine

Grimrock Falls, Germany

I open my eyes and see Richy untying the ropes that are binding my arms. Am I dreaming, or are we finally free? I look around for the man without a face, but I don't see him anywhere. The splitting headache quickly makes me realize this is not a dream.

"Where did he go? We have to get out of here." I say to Richy.

"You're free to go, Hannah."

His choice of words confuses me, and why does he look so sad? I grab his hand and pull him towards the exit.

"Come on, Richy, we have to go before he gets back."

"No, it's too late for me." He says, confusing me even more. When he notices my confusion he closes his eyes and lets out a sigh. "Go on, Hannah. I'll be right behind you."

Reluctantly, I take his advice and make my way out of the makeshift room and into a tunnel. I see a faint light off in the distance and make my way towards it. I step around the corner and come face to face with Alan and his gun.

"My goodness, Ms. Donfort, are you alright?" Alan asks.

"Find Richy, please. Please." I beg him.

"We need to get you out first, then I'll come back for Richy. I promise." He says.

I nod and let him lead me out. We exit the mine, and a man approaches us wearing an FBI jacket.

"What is the FBI doing here?" Alan mumbles.

"Mr. Bloomgate we are taking over the crime scene. We received a tip that a wanted fugitive is within the mines." The man says.

Two other FBI agents walk over to help me to an awaiting ambulance. I hear an explosion and look over my shoulder to see the mine going up in flames. No, Richy! I try to run toward the mine the two men, grab me and stop me. Then everything fades to black.

***

June 1st, 2022 10:00 am

Rabenkliff psychiatric hospital

Colville, Germany

I open my eyes to the stream of sunlight shining in my window. I pull the sheets over my head to block out the light. How many days have I been here? Three? Four? More? The days have run together as I spend most of my time either unconscious or pretending to be. Every time I have an episode and start having flashbacks, they have to sedate me to calm me down. Thomas comes to visit often, and sometimes, he brings Cleo with him. Yesterday, Lily and Jessy came to visit, but I pretended to be asleep. I just can't face them after everything that I've done. It was a weird visit; they had someone else with them, MC. I think that's what they called her. They said she helped find me, and when we were alone, she told me my brother made it out, but they hadn't heard from him in a few days. Are the meds making me hallucinate? I'm not even sure of anything anymore, but I do know I don't know anyone named MC, and I definitely don't have a brother. Could she possibly be talking about Richy? I know we were close, but I wouldn't call him a brother. Didn't Thomas tell me he didn't make it out? Thomas also said Richy was acting as the man without a face, but that can't be true, can it? I can feel my panic starting to rise, and it becomes harder to breathe. I'm gasping for air, but it's as if no air can reach my lungs. I hear the door open, and I hear footsteps coming closer. No, not this again.

"Hannah, you're having another episode. I'm going to give you something to relax you." I hear a nurse say.

I try to protest, but before I can, everything fades to black.

***

June 1st, 2022 4:00 pm

I open my eyes again and notice the sun isn't as bright. How many hours did I sleep this time? I remember hearing voices in my sleep, and I believe it was Thomas and Lily again. They also had that other girl with them. They were saying something about a number, I think? How did I get her number? I don't even know her! Again, they mentioned something about my brother. "I don't have a brother!" I scream into the empty room. I'm the one who's crazy here? Is she just another skeleton from my past coming back to haunt me? There's nothing better to do, so I drift off back to sleep. This time willingly.

***

June 2nd, 2022 3:00 pm

I had therapy today. This time, I was almost made it through the whole session before they sedated me. It's an awful feeling to be a prisoner of your own mind, being held captive by the skeletons of your past. My therapist says everyone has skeletons, and over time, mine will be easier to deal with. I hope she's right. I'm laying in bed once again, pretending to be asleep. I can feel the presence of someone in the room with me, but I don't dare open my eyes to see who.

"Hannah, I really wish you would wake up. We don't have much time." says a man's voice.

Who is that? Why do I know that voice? Jake! I force my eyes open and stare directly into his eyes. The eyes of the person I used to be close to but haven't been in years.

"Hi." He says, smiling down at me.

"Jake?" Is he actually here, or is this another hallucination?

"Shhh." He presses a finger to his lips. "I don't want them to know I'm here."

"Why? Why did you come all this way to check on me?" I ask.

"Because." He takes a deep breath and holds it for a moment before letting it out. " I owe you the truth."

"The truth? What are you talking about?"

"The truth about why I stopped talking to you all those years ago." He says.

"Jake, it's been years that doesn't matter anymore."

"Hannah, the reason I stopped talking to you wasn't just because I didn't have the same feeling you did. It was because I could never have those feelings, and you shouldn't have either. I couldn't tell you that without explaining why. So I had to cut ties with you."

"What's the reason then?" I ask.

"I grew up, never knowing my father. Not long before I reached out to you the first time, I finally convinced my mom to tell me who he was. I found out I had two younger sisters and wanted to know what they were like. So I found you on the internet and befriended you."

"So you're my brother?"

"Yes, that's why when you expressed your feelings for me, I had to break off contact." He says while looking down to avoid eye contact.

"Why didn't you just tell me, Jake? I could have handled it."

"I didn't want to break up a happy family. I still had no intention of letting this secret out, but when you were kidnapped, Lily accused me and MC, so I had to tell her so she would trust me."

"So I really do have a brother!" I say to nobody in particular. "Wait, who is MC, though? People kept mentioning her, and she came to visit. Shell kept mentioning brother, but I didn't understand what she was talking about until now. Is she your girlfriend?"

"You don't know who MC is?" He seems shocked.

"No, should I?"

"You sent Thomas her number. We assumed she was an important part of the case. She helped us save you. If it hadn't been for her, who knows what would have happened to you."

"I didn't send Thomas her number."

"It came from your phone, 34987. That's what you sent before Richy deleted the message."

"That wasn't a contact number! That was a receipt number! I found a receipt when Amy was marked. I was hoping you could use it to find out who kidnapped me."

"You mean she was never even supposed to be a part of this? Her life was in danger for nothing?" Jake says seemingly upset.

"Wait, so you guys messaged a total stranger and brought her into this mess?" I ask, and he nods. "And she stuck around and helped you find me?" He nods again. "I guess I need to meet her and say thank you then."

"She's pretty amazing. I think you'll really like her." He says.

"I think I'll actually interact with her next time she's here," I tell him honestly. I'm looking forward to having visitors now.

"I need to go. You should be resting and focusing on getting better so you can get out of here."

"Thank you, Jake. This is the sanest I've felt since walking out of that mine." I tell him.

"You can tell Lily and MC I came to visit but only them." He says and walks toward the door.

"Wait, why only them?" I call after him. He turns and looks at me.

"That's a story for another time, sis, but you can have them explain if you want." He turns and walks out the door.

For the first time since being kidnapped, I have hope that things will get better.