Obsessively Complicating my Days

My dreams

My thoughts

Myself

Constantly overthinking each thing

Counting down from ten over and over

Breathing in and out

Meditating

Medicating

Medicating even more

Reading books expecting a solution

Watching videos trying to figure out what's wrong

Knowing what's wrong but denying it

Knowing you can not change

Knowing you can not stop

Eating too much and throwing up

Eating nothing at all

Loosing weight

Gaining weight

Loosing yourself

Accidently drawing blood

Wondering what it would be like on purpose

Convincing yourself not to

Wondering anyway

Trying to cry

When nothing comes

Wanting it to stop

Thinking you deserve it

Wondering how you got here

And

Obsessively

Complicating

My

Days

And

Neurotically

eXplaining

It

Every time

To

Yourself and everyone else

Dealing

Everyday with

People,

Realizing

Everyday is the

Same with the

Same

Internal dialogue

Over and over and its

Not stopping

No matter what you try

Over and Over and Over and Over

Wanting to cry

But screaming instead

Always stuck inside your head

Madeleine