《Underneath》A Kind of OCD
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Obsessively Complicating my Days
My dreams
My thoughts
Myself
Constantly overthinking each thing
Counting down from ten over and over
Breathing in and out
Meditating
Medicating
Medicating even more
Reading books expecting a solution
Watching videos trying to figure out what's wrong
Knowing what's wrong but denying it
Knowing you can not change
Knowing you can not stop
Eating too much and throwing up
Eating nothing at all
Loosing weight
Gaining weight
Loosing yourself
Accidently drawing blood
Wondering what it would be like on purpose
Convincing yourself not to
Wondering anyway
Trying to cry
When nothing comes
Wanting it to stop
Thinking you deserve it
Wondering how you got here
And
Obsessively
Complicating
My
Days
And
Neurotically
eXplaining
It
Every time
To
Yourself and everyone else
Dealing
Everyday with
People,
Realizing
Everyday is the
Same with the
Same
Internal dialogue
Over and over and its
Not stopping
No matter what you try
Over and Over and Over and Over
Wanting to cry
But screaming instead
Always stuck inside your head
Madeleine
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