Everything was empty.

It was never empty with Parker.

She liked to be right beside me. Whether it was playing with my hair, kissing my cheek, telling me about something she saw on tv—

I missed her.

"Why'd you wait to tell her?" Sam asked me. "I mean, come on. That's her life you're fucking with."

We were at his apartment. I remembered how I made Parker drive me here once. Why did I do that?

I shifted on his couch. "I think because I knew she'd hate me for it"

Sam smiled. "So romantic."

"Not right now," I muttered. There was this tight feeling in my chest constantly. I had never felt this way about someone. With Natalie, I knew she would leave eventually, and she did. I just thought Parker... fuck. I don't know, I guess I thought it would last longer. I wanted everything she would give me but she was done.

I blinked hardly, trying to bring moisture to my dry eyes. When I left her house that night, I cried. The tears had felt like fire on my skin.

Sam frowned and patted my shoulder. "I'm sorry, Florencio."

I shrugged off his hand. It was good she left. What did I offer her? She was so great. Her keeping me around for this long was kind.

"You know," I said quietly, staring at the dust on the floor. "She told me she loved me."

Sam's mouth opened in surprise. "W-well what did you say?"

"Nothing. I left."

"Man, all the shit you put her through and you don't love her? Do you even like—"

I shoved a decorative pillow in his face, forcing him to shut up. "Yes, I love her," I hissed. "If you must know."

Sam gulped breaths of air and threw the pillow at me. "Gonna get her back, pussy?"

I got up, annoyed with his antics. I gathered all my stuff.

"Oh, come on don't leave... pussy."

I let out a strangled breath. Not really thinking about it, I walked over to the cactus that sat on the kitchen counter and knocked it over.

"No!" Sam shot up and picked it up. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"It's fake."

"And?"

I smiled slightly for the first time in awhile. I gathered the soil in my hands.

"You added soil to a fake plant?"

Sam huffed and pushed me.

-

It was late now. I missed the exit several times and by the time I made it hone, I was debating if I should just sleep in the car.

My eyes started to slip when I noticed a dark figure by the front door.

I pushed the panic down that formed. I grabbed the gun in my car and got out, shoving the gun in the back of my pants. Slowly I approached and all I got was the side profile of the person.

Feminine features showed.

Parker?

No, something was off.

"Hi."

The person turned fully to me. Natalie.

Disappointment simmered in me.

"Get out of here," I sighed tiredly. I walked up the steps to the door, pushing past her.

She stood up abruptly. "No, please. Florencio." She grabbed my sweater sleeve. Her pretty face was pale. I took in her appearance. Baggy clothing and flip flops. "Please let me in."

"Rudy kick you to the curb?" I asked, opening the door. Before she could slip in, I stepped in front of her.

"Yes. He did." She jutted her chin up. "All because of your fucking girlfriend."

I paused closing the door. "She didn't do anything, Natalie. Sorry about Rudy."

She jabbed a finger at my chest. "What's your waltzed in and got me out of a job. Rudy was livid I spilled like that."

"Not mine anymore."

Natalie's eyes widened. "I-I, oh, whatever." She crossed her arms and scanned me judgmentally. "You leave her like you left me?"

"You broke up with me... and Parker left me." I was tired and would play her game, say what she wanted to hear.

She smiled sweetly up at me. "Like everyone in your life eventually does."

I laughed unhumorously. "Are you happy now? If you wanted to hurt my feelings, you did."

She didn't say anything.

"Anything else you need?"

"Florencio...." she trailed off. She blinked and her face shone with unexpected tears. "I need help. I have no money and I've tried with everyone to, you know. Nobody wants me. Rudy bad mouthed me. I'm sorry I blamed it on Parker. Rudy took my job away from me." Pressing her hands to her eyes, she sobbed in front of me.

My jaw clenched. "Get in."

"What?" Her big eyes looked up at me.

"I'm not gonna say it again."

She nodded quickly and ducked under my arm. She sat on the couch but the look I gave her made her stand up.

"You can sit," I told her.

"No," she said shakily. "What are you going to do, Florencio?"

I walked closer to her and she flinched.

"I'm not gonna hit you." I never had, never will.

"I-I'm sorry. Rudy just..."

Something hot flashed in me. "Rudy hits you?"

She bit her lip. "Yeah, he did. Sometimes."

I ran a hand down my face, unnecessary stress building. "Can you just sit?"

With a troubled look on her face, she sat.

"What the hell did you think I'd do about your current situation?" I asked. "Is there something I owe you?"

She shook her head. "No, but you're the only one I knew that would—"

"Give in."

She shrugged. "I don't deserve anything from you. I just—please. God, please. I'm begging you, Florencio. If you want to have sex I-I'll—"

"I don't want to have sex with you," I cut her off.

Her face turned red. "Can you stop being such a dick? I'm asking for help."

"Funny you're being rude to the only person who will help you."

"Fuck you." She leaned into the couch, crossing her legs. "No wonder she left you. You piece of shit. Even while I was telling her, I couldn't stop thinking to myself, "this is fucked Florencio would keep this from her." It's low. Even for you."

I looked at the floor. "You're not the first one to tell me that."

"Good." She shook her head. "She's a nice girl, Florencio. You should've left her alone. She could be dating some golden boy right now but she met you. You know, she told me you guys had sex. You're such an asshole for doing that."

"I love her."

"Yeah?" Well you loved me but see where we ended up? You're me right now whether you want to admit it or not. You messed her up."

"Does it get you off knowing you hurt me?" I asked darkly.

"What are you talking about?"

I stood up and took intimidating steps towards her. "I bet it gets you so fucking flustered imaging me cry."

Natalie scrambled to her knees and held a pillow to her chest. "Don't touch me!"

I snatched the pillow from her and threw it across the room. She gasped and shielded her face with her arms.

"Stop touching my stuff and get out." She wanted to get a reaction out of me, she got it.

Her arms slowly fell. "Okay. Fine. I'm sorry." She got off the couch and walked to the door, pitifully almost.

God damnit.

"Wait."

I ran upstairs to my room and dug around in my drawers. I counted the bills. Nine-hundred... one thousand. It wasn't much. It was nothing, but it'd get her somewhere.

When I arrived downstairs, she was biting her lip so hard the skin had turned white.

I walked to her and shoved the money in her sweater pocket.

Natalie felt around in the pocket

"Oh, wow. Florencio... thank you. Thank you. Thank you." She threw her self against me and hugged tightly.

I didn't move to touch her.

She pulled back and all I saw was her bright eyes before she kissed me.

It was so fast I wasn't sure it even happened.

I pushed her back, shocked. She stumbled, catching her self on the door frame.

"Florencio," she whispered, voice breaking. "I meant it. I'm sorry."

"I... I don't ever want to see you again."

I slammed the door shut on her shaking frame and took a deep shuttering breath. Realization sunk in.

She was right. Every hateful word she spat was completely, and utterly true.