stormed into the office, quickly running up the stairs and bursting through penelope garcia, the technical analyst's office.

both morgan and garcia looked up at him, both looking equally surprised.

"reid?" garcia questioned. "what brings you up to the crib in this early mor—"

"garcia, can you find all the possible bens, benjamins, bennys, etc. living in virginia at the moment??" spencer asked quickly, moving to the front of the room where he moved morgan out of the way so he could see garcia quickly work her magic.

when she pulled all of them up—all 84 of them—in virginia, spencer made her narrow down the search to ones around gracen's age, with blue eyes and black hair like she had explained to him before he left.

there were four men; benjamin morehouse, benny smith, benjamin karson, and benjamin lorenz.

one of these men could be the one gracen saw in her dream.

"can you send me all that information garcia?" spencer asked.

garcia nodded, quickly on it, once she was done, she sat back in her chair eyeing the doctor. "now, what was that all about?"

spencer ran his hand through his wild hair. "she saw one of these men in her dreams. we might have a lead on the x-guy."

derek morgan furrowed his eyebrows. "you sure?"

spencer shrugged. "i'll have to show her the suspects. listen, she said that she loved this man."

"you mean—"

"—like that she could've developed stockholm syndrome." the doctor shook his head. "i don't want to believe it, but—"

"—you know you can't make assumptions yet, reid. we don't have enough evidence." morgan said. "but this is a start. we're finally getting somewhere." he patted the doctor on his back. "nice job kid."

"i guess all that time you're spending with her is paying off." garcia chuckled, then morgan and her exchanged a mischievous look.

spencer reid was no idiot. he could clearly tell they were teasing him. shaking his head and rolling his eyes, he turned around to head back out.

"wait a minute—reid—did you not go home last night?" morgan called out to him, and spencer didn't even need to turn around to see that he was smirking. "you're wearing the same clothing as yesterday."

"i-uh-i fell asleep at the hospital." spencer cleared his throat, quickly exiting the room before they could harass him any further.

—

gracen's eyebrows arched, creating a crease between them in her forehead. she looked intensely at the four photos of the "ben's" to try to see if any of them rang a bell.

she shook her head, showing disappointment. "none of them are him."

spencer let out a disappointed sigh. "we were getting there..."

"sorry." the girl said, full of guilt. "...i haven't been helpful to the investigation at all."

the doctor shook his head, rubbing his temples with his hands to relieve his headache. he had been getting these headaches more often than usual. "it's not your fault. it's normal to forget. the memories will come back, i hope."

"all i've done during this process is breakdown and cry, spencer." she deadpanned. "it's not normal. nothing about this is normal."

"gracen, can you please just be a little hopeful for a second?" spencer snapped, a hinge of attitude creeping up. a sharp pain erupted in both sides of his head and he winced, seeing black dots in his vision for five seconds before they disappeared. gracen didn't seem to notice. it wasn't normal for him to snap at anyone, but these headaches have been driving him crazy.

"exactly how do i do that, spencer??" gracen asked. "there's nothing in this situation that sounds hopeful. not for me, at least."

"we'll catch him, gracen. but you—"

"—i need to remember!" she snapped back. "i know. everyone keeps telling me that. that's all i need to do, and you'll be done with me, right?"

"c'mon, that's not—"

gracen scoffed. "but then what? say you catch the dude, and he's in prison for life. what happens then? what would happen to me? i'm an adult with barely an education, i have no money, and the only reason i'm not on the streets right now is because you guys need me in order to find the killer!! once you're done, you'll leave me, and i'll still have those fucking nightmares—every single night. i don't think i can handle that." she slowly met his eyes. "i really am going to go crazy."

"gracen—"

"but spencer, you don't really care, do you?" she let out a sigh of frustration. "maybe it's because someone hadn't shown me an ounce of affection for years...i-"

"gra—"

gracen kept talking. "—i just needed someone. i needed to hang onto the closest thing to me and that happened to be you. but now—"

"—i'm so hung up on you!!!" gracen finally let it slip. those words she had just said explained her feelings for the past week—the heart-racing thoughts, the blushing, the embarrassment. it was ridiculous. it had only been a week since she escaped that place. since she met spencer reid.

maybe she was kidding herself. maybe in a month those feelings would disappear, and she wouldn't have to rely on anyone. gracen hated relying on people. everyone let her down. she relied on the police to find her when she was stuck down there for ten years. no one ever even looked for her.

they let her down.

there was a silence. it was ear-deafening, as spencer stared back intensely into her eyes. his eyes had traces of many emotions, and she hated that she couldn't read the man.

"g-gracen, i—" he started, flustered, and his eyes diverted to the table sitting next to her bed, spotting a bottle of pills. he read the label—it said benzodiazepine.

it dawned on him. the nurses had been giving her anti-anxiety medicine, which could be a reason why she was saying these things to him—not because she liked him, but because she was sedated, which lowered her suggestibility and ability to rationalize her behavior, making her lose her "filter" and say things she wouldn't normally say—

yet spencer tried to—wanted to—believe her words, without trying to find a scientific explanation behind everything. she had a crush on him, he was the only male that she got close to during this week of recovery. his heart fluttered at the thought of it, but something in spencer didn't believe that she had actually developed feelings for him. she's coping with her pain.

not many girls liked spencer reid. at all. why would she be an exception?

reid snapped out of his thoughts, watching the girl wait for him to answer. he knew she wanted him to say something, anything.

"you're...y-you're not in your right mind right now, gracen." spencer said. "i-i—look." he held up the bottle of pills next to the bed. "you're sedated."

"spencer." gracen said, her voice breaking, full of hurt. "just say you don't like me."

his heart pounded in his chest. those eyes—her eyes—he couldn't stop himself from staring. gracen jones wasn't just any other girl. something about her—made him nervous, all the time. and he was already nervous, all the time.

when it came to girls outside of the bau and his own mother, there was always a dreading anxiety when he had to approach someone so casually. morgan could do it so easily, so what was wrong with him?

and there was no possible way someone like gracen jones could like him. but spencer reid, for once in his life, wanted to have the confidence to believe that a beautiful girl like that—actually liked him—just this one time.

so he let himself believe it.

spencer gulped and stood up from his seat, drawing near to the edge of the bed where gracen sat. his hands were clammy, but he tried to ignore it as he pressed them down on both sides of the mattress, leaning down with the girl between his arms. gracen stiffened noticeably and it eased spencer knowing he wasn't the only one with the anxiety.

he towered over her, as she was still sitting and he was standing. spencer was beyond nervous. his heart was beating a million times a second and he felt like it was going to explode. spencer saw her eyes widen and her lips part ever so slightly. wow, he thought. she was beyond pretty.

spencer just wanted to kiss her. he just wanted to know how it felt to kiss a pretty girl. one time, and then they'd forget about it, going back to their normal business of trying to find the killer. he'd go back to being the insecure man he was—and only talk to her for the investigation.

it had only been a week, so why were these feelings becoming clearer than ever?

spencer mentally told himself the fudge it, ignoring any conflicting thoughts and leaning down. her eyes fluttered closed and he did the same. their breaths created a different atmosphere between their faces.

that's when he heard a knock on the door.

spencer immediately jumped away, both of their eyes snapping open. his heart dropped to his stomach as he stuttered, "c-come in."

gracen forgot to breathe. she let go of the tension in her lungs, her heart beating so fast. she was so embarrassed, and thinking about being embarrassed only added more heat to her cheeks.

a doctor with a pair of glasses on his face, dressed in a lab coat, stepped inside the room with a nurse following suit. she was rolling in some equipment on a metal cart.

"miss jones, we're going to take some blood so we can test your levels. that okay?" the doctor asked.

gracen nodded slowly. her blood was probably pumping so fast, they might think she was having a heart attack if they measured her pulse.

"i-i'll leave, then." spencer quickly packed his things in a hurry, his face still brightly flushed.

he was so close.

a part of him was relieved, though. he wasn't in his right head. he had to leave.

"i-i'll see y-you tomorrow, gracen." spencer said, flashing her a sheepish and awkward smile before exiting.

gracen let herself relax once he had left, with a conflicting feeling of dread inside of her. she couldn't stop thinking about him. his pink lips that looked so soft. she wanted to kiss him once, and that would be it. they would go back to that client to doctor basis again. interrogator and interrogated. victim and detective.

gracen realized this wasn't a line to be crossed, it just wouldn't be professional for him.

she knew things had to be different now.

—