after gracen and spencer finished up work, they met outside of the quantico building.

"hi spence." she tapped his shoulder and spencer spun around, his face flushed from what seemed to be the cold.

"gracen." spencer grinned brightly. "lets go. i'll drive."

"what are we even doing?" she asked plainly, silently slipping her hand around his.

"dinner." he said, interlocking his fingers with hers. the two didn't acknowledge the connection.

"at 10pm?" she raised her eyebrow.

"yup." spencer said, popping the "p." "come on, greaser's doesn't close until twelve."

gracen's heart fluttered. he remembered her favorite restaurant. she recalled the time he walked inside her hospital room, ready to question her for the investigation. "i can't believe you remembered."

"what do you mean?" he chuckled softly down at her. "c'mon, i remember everything."

"oh yeah, eidetic memory." she rolled her eyes.

spencer laughed before daringly quickly pressing a chaste kiss on the side of her head, bolting away. "last one to the car pays for dinner!"

"spencer!" gracen blushed and called out to the man who took off on his long legs, immediately running after him. "you're so on!!"

"i'm an fbi agent, gracen! running is my expertise—" he was cut off when she shoved him from behind, causing him to stumble and giving her a moment to pass him.

the girl laughed evilly, but her moment of joy ended when spencer grabbed her petite body and threw her over his shoulder.

gracen let out an amused shriek. "not fair!!!"

"i didn't say that there were rules!" spencer took off running and she threw light playful punches into his back.

"carrying you over my shoulder would be like carrying a 17-foot ladder around!!!" she said.

"actually, a 6-foot ladder would be more accurate because—"

"alright whatever sir sherlock. now let me down."

spencer let out a grunt as he lowered the girl onto the concrete next to his car. the man opened the passenger's car door. "after you, m'lady."

"thanks love." she grinned genuinely at his playfulness as spencer shut the door, trotting to the drivers side.

—

the bell above their heads chimed as spencer pushed the door to the rustic-classy diner, allowing gracen to step through and bask in the familiar smell of rosemary and basil. it smelled the same, and gracen felt her eyes prickle with tears. she blinked them away, turning to spencer.

he was in awe at the sight of gracen. under the dim lights, her eyes glinted with love, and a hint of sadness—he figured because of the memories that place brought. her lips slowly made their way, forming a perfect smile that stopped spencer's world. she was so beautiful.

"thanks, spencer." the girl blushed, tucking her dyed brown hair behind her ear.

heat rose to spencer's cheeks as he realized he said the phrase out loud. "come on." he led her to a booth in the corner, where they sat down in front of the other.

a waitress in her late 70s or so came up to the two, a wrinkly smile on her face that made her eyes adorably disappear. "seeing new couples walk in never cease to make my day."

"ah, we're not—" gracen smiled up at the lady, before her eyes widened and she gasped.

"oh my goodness! gracen, is that you?"

her eyes morphed into confusion before gracen recognized the tattoo on the old lady's bicep—a flamingo. she was instantly enlightened as the lady gushed at her.

"it's been such a long time darling!" the woman reached up and squeezed gracen's cheek. "wow, you are such a beautiful young lady—"

"haha. thank you, miss winkler." gracen said, feeling bad for spencer who was just sitting awkwardly in the midst of this. "it's been a very long time."

miss winkler had ran this restaurant for her entire childhood, and she remembered her face clearly from the amount of times her and her parents ate at the place. her hair was dyed black back then to hide the grayness, but it seemed that the old woman started embracing her ashy roots. she was getting old as well, and gracen could tell by her weak posture and wrinkles.

"i wondered why you stopped coming, but then i saw the news about your parents. it broke my heart in pieces. i can't imagine how you felt."

gracen bit her lip, nodding as her parents' bodies flashed in her mind. "yeah."

"i think about them everyday, they were such perfect, kind people—it made me wonder who would do something like that. what's the motive for killing people who've only done good to this world?"

gracen nodded again, her heart aching. she suddenly felt nauseated. it was for me. because of me. ben's voice echoed inside her brain.

"hello, miss, is it alright if we order now?" spencer suddenly interrupted, after sensing gracen's uncomfortable tells. the leg bouncing—hand fidgeting—she often did it when she was anxious.

"yes, absolutely!" miss winkler looked down at gracen smiling. "this man is quite lovely, gracen."

her head dipped as she chuckled softly. "he is."

gracen ordered her usual—three cheese macaroni and cheese, while spencer opted for some kind of sandwich.

"mac and cheese?" he questioned after ms. winkler left with their orders.

gracen rolled her eyes. "don't judge me."

"you're so cute." spencer said.

"i—" she quickly fixed her stammer, furrowing her eyebrows. "geez, spencer! you-you throw me off guard when you say those things."

it was undeniable that spencer reid indeed made her very, very nervous. it seemed like the more confidence he gained, the more she lost around him.

"my bad." he murmured. "just stating the obvious."

"thanks for boosting my ego everyday, though." gracen replied.

"as if you need it." spencer said back smugly.

"gosh, you're so two faced!"

"am not! i was kidding!"

"snake." she muttered at him, crossing her arms like a twelve year old throwing a tantrum.

"fine." he placed his hand on top of hers that was laying freely on the table. spencer looked into her eyes with such intensity that gracen thought he was only playing around. "you're the most beautiful, gorgeous, and sweetest person i have ever met in my entire life. and i'm so glad i met you." the corner of his lips did that thing where they turned upwards—and gracen's heart soared.

"and you," gracen mocked his actions, placing her free hand on top of his. her heart was beating so fast at his words that she didn't want spencer to know how she was feeling at that moment. "are the hottest, sexiest, nerd i have ever seen." she smirked at him, jokingly biting down her lip seductively.

"gracen!" spencer scolded, narrowing his eyes at her. "you had the power to keep it romantic or make it sexual!"

"my bad, spencer." she purred. "you're just so irresistible, how could i not?"

"flattered." the man stayed plainly, only a little disappointed she didn't return or sense his genuine emotions from before. but two could play at this game. "but really, you think i'm a hot nerd?"

"everyone does, spencer." gracen replies, feigning innocence.

"what?" that was something he didn't know. spencer always assumed everyone around him saw him as a weirdo—and an outcast. because he had always felt like one.

"you didn't know that?" she asked, and when he shook his head, gracen's eyes widened. "wow, you are so naive."

"what? no i'm not!" he said, genuinely offended.

"spencer, the girls at the office fan girl over you. whenever you and the rest of bau walk into the second floor, they're all like, 'oh my god, don't you think reid, morgan, and hotch are like, so hot?'" she mocked, rolling her eyes in annoyance. "you guys are the fbi, so i'm not surprised, but it does get annoying."

"i didn't know that." spencer sat back and thought. he felt a surge of confidence run through him. "are you jealous?"

"jealous of you?" gracen asked, scoffing. "duh, you save lives everyday and you're a genius—"

"no-not that. although you shouldn't be because you're the coolest person ever—" he stopped. "do you get jealous when girls fawn over me?"

"i-uh." gracen froze, her cheeks feeling hot at what she felt like was a confrontation. "i-i mean, yeah, a little."

spencer was satisfied with her answer. "good enough for me."

"what do you mean, 'good enough for me'?" she squinted at the man.

"jealously happens when you feel threatened at an external factor coming between one of your cherished connections." he spat the definition out. "it means you value our connection, and that's good enough for me."

gracen paused to register his words, a smile making its way up to her face when she finally understood what he was going on about. "of course i do, spence."

spence. his heart drummed in his chest. god, he loved that nickname when it came out of her mouth. his grip on her hand tightened a little, like he was afraid to let her go.

he leaned closer to her. "i'm never letting you go." spencer murmured, with serious intention.

"well, you're going to have to because our food is here!" she cheered, pulling back her hand.

spencer felt a small pang in his chest as the warmth slipped away from his fingertips. she did it again. he thought. gracen couldn't seem to take him seriously. all those things he had said—before she would dismiss them with a joke that proved that she didn't care—he meant them. and spencer wished gracen would know that he did.

but gracen did. as ms. winkler set down their plates of food, gracen asked herself why she was hurting spencer. she was aware that she kept belittling the loving words that came out of his mouth. those loving words that made her heart race so fast.

but she was scared. gracen didn't want to get any closer. she didn't want to make herself fall in love harder than she already was.

after tonight, gracen promised herself that she would let spencer go.

—