A/N: I have two chapters for you my lovely readers. The POVs switched a couple of times in this chapter, hope you don’t get confused. Thank you for reading! 😊

***

“Hello, may I know what room Deputy Chief Jaturapoom is in?” I turn my head as a familiar voice asked the nurse at the reception. P’Pring.

I cleared my throat for her to notice. Her eyes widened.

“Beam?!”

“Hi P.” I smiled.

“What are you doing here? You’re a doctor?” She asked looking confused.

“Yes.”

“Did you meet Forth already?” She asked.

“Yes, and about that please don’t tell him about me. He doesn’t know about me in the past. He lost his memory.” I asked.

She just stared at me looking perplexed.

“Alright. I know his condition. I already talked to his parents.” She answered, “You know, I have a lot of questions but right now, I just need to see him.”

“Okay, P.” I, too have a lot of questions. Are they together? Why did she come just now?

She seemed to be contemplating on something and opened her mouth to say something, but closed them again.

“Nevermind. See you around Beam.”

I nodded as she walked towards the hallway. I’m starting to feel uneasy and anxious. I really want to know how things are between them.

I’m lying on my side. I felt a hand snake through my waist, I turned around and wrapped my arms around him. Him, it’s a boy or a man, I am not sure. I hugged him tighter. I feel so warm and happy, I feel so much tenderness and affection towards this person. I squint my eyes to look but it was very bright I can only make out his silhouette.

Suddenly, he was yanked away from my bed. I shout his name, but I can’t hear my voice. Darkness swiftly took over the room and I was alone. Distressed, dejected, and hurting, I can only let out a silent scream.

“Forth…”

“Forth…”

I snapped my eyes open. It was just a dream.

“Forth, are you okay?”

“Pring? What are you…” I was cut short as she hugged me tight.

“Babe, I missed you.” She kissed me. “I’m sorry I came here so late. When I heard about what happened, I immediately requested a leave of absence.”

She hugged me again. “I’m glad you’re now okay, babe. Don’t worry, I’m here now, just let your girlfriend take care of you.”

Girlfriend? I was speechless.

I pried her arms away from me and I look at her.

“Oh, no.” She gasped. “Don’t tell me you don’t remember, Forth?”

“I’m sorry, but Pring, if you already know what happened then you also know I also lost chunks of my memories.” I explained.

“Oh, babe. It’s okay.” She stroked my hair as she speaks.

“We are back together, babe. Before I went back to my overseas job, you asked me if we could still continue with our relationship.”

“I did?” I closed my eyes as I suddenly feel a slight pain in my neck.

“Yes, Forth. We love each other, and we’ve been together ever since. I was even waiting for your call. But it’s okay. I’m here now.”

I am stunned, baffled. There’s no one to blame but myself. How did this happen? How can I forget this kind of memory? It is something important. It is a relationship for goodness sake.

Pring was holding my hand and smiling at me. I looked at her.

I know I had once been madly in love with her. But that seems like a distant memory now. Is it possible to lose feelings together with lost memories? Because right now, as harsh as it may sound, I don’t feel anything for her at all.

“Hey, Doc Beam.” A nurse called my attention. “Someone is looking for you.”

It was P’Pring.

“Beam, can I talk to you for a second?”

“Sure.” I signaled the nurse that I would be away for a few minutes.

“Beam, I have a favor to ask.”

“What is it P?”

“Well, Forth and I are actually back together.”

“Oh…” I felt a sudden coldness that hits the core of my chest.

“Yes, and you know how fragile his situation is. So I would like to ask if you can avoid Forth. Just don’t let him see you while he is here.”

What is happening?

“Why?” It sounds unfair and I can sense where this conversation is heading to. Why is it always like this?

“My boyfriend is still recovering, and we don’t want to overwhelm him. You said he can’t remember you, right?”

Boyfriend. I suddenly dislike that word.

“Yes.” Yes, he can’t remember me.

“Can we keep it that way? He still has a lot on his mind right now. It’s better if we just leave out the insignificant and trivial memories.”

I just looked at her. She looks kind with her concerned look and all, but now I realized, she was downright selfish and cruel.

And the painful thing is, she is right. If Forth cannot remember me, then I must be just one of the unimportant things that had once been part of his life.

I gave her a shaky fake smile.

“Okay, P. Not a problem… He is about to be discharged anyway.”

“Thank you.” and with that she turned and walked away.

The knot in my stomach started to rise to my throat. My eyes begin to water so I closed my eyes tight to stop them from falling.

***

It has been three days since P’Pring’s request. I stopped visiting Forth and was avoiding him at all cost.

Just then, my phone vibrated. Another text from Forth.

Chief Forth: Beam, are you still busy? When are you dropping by?

Me: sorry… still attending to a lot of patients right now, can’t go for the meantime.

It has been like that, him inviting me, and me declining, and I feel miserable.

I was just walking aimlessly until I realized I was already in front of his room. It was slightly open so I took a peek inside. And just like that painful night six years ago, I see them kissing.

I slowly closed the door. This time I didn’t look back and just walked away.

***

Pring wants to kiss again. I don’t know why, but I don’t feel like kissing at the moment. I used to be so passionate with this kind of intimacy, but right now I feel numb.

“Pring, let’s take a break, please. I’m tired.” I say honestly.

She looks at me closely, and heaved a sigh. “Okay, babe.”

I checked my phone, Beam already replied. He won’t be seeing me. Is there something going on? I can tell he is avoiding me, and the more he avoids me, the more I want to see him.

He is the only thing that occupies my mind. I know it is wrong. I’m in a relationship and I feel like I’m cheating on my girlfriend. But no matter how I tried to deny and fight it. I miss him.

“Pring, can we take a walk? It feels stuffy in here.” I asked.

“Oh, okay babe.” She stood up and helped me out of the bed.

We just walked on the hallways slowly. When we turned around the corner I stopped. I see Phana and Beam, and they are hugging.

Pring saw what I saw, and I don’t know why she softly gasped. She was looking at them, and at me.

“You know them, babe?”

I didn’t answer her, my eyes never leaving the scene in front me. I feel jealous, yes, I’m not denying, and it really hurt.

Is this the reason why Beam is avoiding me? Thinking about it, they were really close, and I blame myself for not asking what their relationship is.

The two separate from their embrace. I can only see Phana’s face since Beam is facing him. They seem to be talking. Phana’s expression looks so gentle. He was now touching Beam’s face and then he gave him a kiss on his forehead. They hugged again, tightly.

The throbbing soreness in my chest seems to amplify. I can no longer take it so I closed my eyes and turned.

“Let’s go back, Pring.”

I realized that the truth hurts, Beam and I aren’t a thing, and cannot be a thing.

I started walking away without looking back.

***

Finally, I am about to get discharged. Pring and I are now packing my stuff. I’m already free from my arm sling and crutches. My life can finally go back to normal now. Or not.

I know I should be happy, but I actually felt miserable. I keep glancing at the door hoping he’d show up. He wouldn’t even say goodbye?

“Are you ready to go, babe?” she asked.

I just sighed.

“Hey, congratulations. You can finally go home now.” She was smiling as she pulled my face for a kiss.

Then I hear someone clear his throat.

I broke from our kiss. “Lam! You’re back?”

“Yes, buddy.” He smiled at me, and then looked at Pring. His eyes narrowed.

“Pring, why are you here and why are you kissing him?”

It was just then that I noticed Pring’s shocked expression. She was looking with wide eyes at Lam.

“I.. uh.” She stuttered.

“Of course, we are kissing, you know she’s my girlfriend.” I answered for her.

“Huh? What are you talking about?” He asked.

He looked at Pring, and they stared at each, looking like they were talking with their eyes. Lam with his questioning look, while Pring has this pleading expression.

“Oh, God. Pring.” He shakes his head. “I’m so disappointed in you.”

“Lam… Please.” She slowly approaches him. “Please, don’t.”

“What are you both talking about?” I asked. I am very confused now.

“How could you take advantage of him?” Lam was still confronting Pring.

“Lam! Tell me what’s going on!” I snapped.

He turns to look at me. “She’s not your girlfriend. I heard everything from Ming. I know you lost some of your memories, but this one here…” He pointed to Pring and me. “...is not one them.”

“No! Don’t listen to him, babe.” Pring yelled.

“You were never back to together, she’s lying.” He deadpanned.

“What?” I can’t process what he is talking about.

“I said, she’s not your girlfriend. You broke up years ago, and that was it.”

My head started throbbing. I looked at Pring, and I realized that Lam was telling the truth. She cannot hide the guilt on her face.

“What’s gotten into you Pring? You’ve been friends longer than being lovers. You should know better.” Lam said in an accusing tone.

“Is this true?” I asked her.

“Babe, I…”

“Is this true?!” I raised my voice as I repeat the question.

“I’m sorry, babe… I just… I love you so much that I…”

I sit on the bed as I gripped my hair with both hands. My headache and this ridiculous confrontation is driving me mad.

Pring knelt in front of me and held my face. “Forth, I love you, we can still start over again…”

“Don’t touch me.” I said calmly.

“Forth… babe.”

“Pring… please leave.” I want to say something more but what may come out of my mouth might not be good for both of us.

“Please, Forth. I’m sorry.”

“I said, leave.” I said coldly. How can she do this to me?

She’s crying now. But I don’t even care one bit. I don’t feel anything right now. I’m just simply numb. I should be mad at her, I should be mad at not being in control of my life. But nothing, just numbness.

She slowly stood up and walked to the door. I never looked at her even once as she closes the door.

I gripped my head tighter. The throbbing still won’t go away.

Lam was just standing there looking at me. Then he sighed and patted my shoulder.

“Hey, just lie down a bit.” He said. “I’ll finish packing your stuff and I will take you home.”

I lie down on the bed and closed my eyes.

***