december 18th, 1990

'yay! finally winter break in only... ten minutes!' dustin exclaimed as he looked at the clock

everyone at the lunch table was excited for the winter break, me, mike, lucas, will, and dustin especially

we were all waiting for the teachers to let us out

me and mike sat next to each other, while we secretly held hands under the table

they all knew we were a couple, we just liked it low key

our relationship was great; it was sweet and innocent

everything was going great

as everyone was finishing up our lunches, I looked across the cafeteria and whispered to mike,'holy shit, mike. richie's back'

mike turned around as we both stared at the broken boy,

richie hadn't been at school the past week because apparently he was at the hospital (at least that's what eddie told me when i called him on the phone when richie hadn't shown up to school)

richie was broken, physically, but everyone could see that

but it was only mike and i that knew, that he was far more broken on the inside than anything

not even his broken arm and scratched up face could hide the ultimate truth

i broke his heart

bruises were scattered everywhere over the poor boy's body, and even though he told everyone that he accidentally fell down the quarry and landed on the ice,

there were four people that knew what actually happened,

me, steve, mike, and richie

not going to lie, it hurt to see him suffer

it hurt to know that it was me that did that to him

it hurt so bad

part of me wanted to talk to him, and get everything cleared up,

but that same part knew that if i tried, it would end up in me sobbing and everything would go to shit

mike quickly snapped me out of my thoughts,'sucks for him, at least he hasn't bothered us since'

'yeah, bothered us' i quietly said to him

mike stopped looking at richie and focused on the conversation the other boys were having

but i couldn't stop staring at richie

i wanted to stop, but i couldn't

richie looked over to my table and we held eye contact for a few seconds

i could see the sorrow and sadness in his eyes, and he could see it in mine

our eye contact was shortened by the bell finally ringing and all the kids in the cafeteria standing up and leaving

however, even the people blocking us from seeing each other wouldn't stop that burning feeling in my stomach

i felt guilty

so, so guilty

mike snapped me out of my thoughts once again,'hey apple? you okay?' he asked me

'uh yeah, I'm fine. can we go by my locker before we go to the theatre, because I forgot my notebook in there?'

as we got up, mike wrapped his arms around me and we left the cafeteria

but right before we left, we passed richie

he was talking to stan, so he didn't see us

right before we left richie, i slipped a note in his backpack

meet me at the meadows @ 3

vic

'got your stuff?' mike asked me as we finally left the school, it was 2:55

'yup,' i answered mike

we headed out of the school's front doors as we headed towards the movie theatre

we were going to watch a new holiday movie called 'home alone', or something like that

as we were about to get on our bikes, i asked mike,'hey giggles, what time does the movie start?'

he looked at me, smiled, then answered,'at 3:30, why?'

'is it okay if I quickly bike home to uh, freshen up? can we meet at the movie theatre at 3:25?'

'um, sure. see you then, apple. love you'

'love you, too' i said to mike

as he left, i waited until he was out of sight since he would know that i wasn't headed home because the meadows was the opposite way

i arrived at the meadows, and sure enough, there stood richie

he was waiting for me

as we met in the middle of the meadows, i noticed he looked worse up close

'hey' was all i could speak out

'why'd you want me to come here, vic? so steve could break my other arm?' richie spoke, in a subtlety rude tone

'i'm sorry' i whispered

'wait, what?'

'i'm sorry' I repeated

'why are you sorry? is everything okay? did something happen-?' richie asked as he stepped one step closer to me

'i'm sorry for breaking your heart.

and for making steve beat you up.

if i knew how everything would have turned out and how badly i would hurt us,

i would've never ever done it.

i hurt us.

i broke us.

i mean look at you. you're broken!

i broke you, richie

and you know what sucks, too? is that not only did i break you, but i broke me, too

it ruins me every single time that i think about you

you used to be so happy, and you made me laugh 24/7

and i used to be your muse; and now all i am is broken

i've tried to deny it, but for god's sake! i ruined all of our chances together

i never wanted closure, i wanted you!

all i wanted was for none of these things to happen

i never wanted to break you heart

i never wanted to break us

i always wanted you' i whispered the last part

i sat down on the grass, crying in my hands, not wanting to look like a sobbing fool

richie came down and sat next to me, his eyes glossy, tears threatening to fall every single second

'it wasn't just you.

i also fucked shit up

i never sent you letters, leaving you hopeless and in the dark

it takes two to tango, vic

and i would hate it if you thought that all of this mess was only your fault

it was both of us

that day in the meadows, i swore that i would get you back

and when i saw how happy you were with mike, it just..

it just made me realise how you should be treated.

like a queen

not like how i treated you

i missed you, vic..

but we both know how toxic this was

you said it yourself

we shouldn't be together, not now..

or ever

we can't want this

we were never meant to be together-' richie continued, but i interrupted him

'so what? all the time we spent together before was a waste? you swore you would get me back, richie. not hurt me more' i asked him

'vic, we both know there never should have been an us

we were doomed from the beginning

we both know that it was just a shot at temporary happiness,'

as he was continuing to talk, my heart shattered more and more

'so it was a huge waste?' i asked him, hoping for the best but expecting the worse

'yes' richie whispered

no

'vic, it was obvious that we were a horrible match.

were you ever actually happy? because i wasn't.

it was horrible, and we both know it

you said it yourself

we are never ever meant to be with each other again, no matter what

i don't love you, and frankly..

i dont think i ever did'

heart. shattered.

'i have to go now, vic. see you around' richie said as he got up and left the meadows and me all alone

he left me there

my heart was shattered,

and if it wasn't enough already, about ten minutes later, i saw someone come over to me

i was still sitting on the ground

it was mike

he looked mad and sad, but mostly sad

i could see that there were dried tears on his cheeks

'baby, what's wrong?' i asked mike quietly, still not moving from my position on the ground

'baby?!' mike asked me loudly, he was almost yelling

'don't you dare BABY me! you know, vic, i really thought you were over him!'

oh no, what's happening?

'BUT NO! you probably only dated me to get back at him for whatever he did!'

i quickly stood up, trying to save whatever was currently being ripped to shreds

'no, mike! we both know that i would never do that!'

i tried walking over to mike but he just backed up whenever i tried coming near him he just backed up further away from me

'do we? because you would blow me off when you promised we'd meet at the theatre at 3:25! just so you could come here with richie and do whatever it is you guys do!'

'please, mike!' i tried talking to him, but he wouldn't listen

'you know what? go be happy with him. whatever we had is over' mike said and there i was,

left alone in the meadows again

my heart was shattered even more than before

the two most important people in my life, now gone

everything just went to shit

and all i could conclude was that,

nothing good ever happens in the meadows