.

________

Scarlet returns home from a long day of school. Her mom gives her a kiss on the forehead before rushing out the door for work. It feels like Scarlet barely sees her mother anymore, it's like she has no parent whatsoever. Scarlet was beginning to feel lonely again, the last time she felt this was when she lived in arizona. She's been feeling like this for 2 weeks now, everyone seems to be busy since school is ending.

The end of my senior year was approaching and that scared Scarlet a lot. She didn't know what she wanted to do yet and it feels like everyone around her knows. Vin & Jaden got accepted into UCLA. Melo and Gelo have their basketball career to focus on. Will is moving to Vegas, Don is focusing on his music career. Scarlet is happy for them of course but it still makes her sad that everyone is going their separate ways.

She doesn't want high school to end, not yet. She scared of what the future has set for her, she scared that her and Melo would go their separate ways. She didn't want that. She's been thinking about this all week, doesn't want to tell anyone about her worries. We have 4 weeks til graduation and Scarlet wasn't ready at all.

_____

I was bored out of my fucking mind, just laying here in my room depressed, and Overthinking about everything. I don't know what I want to be or what i want to do. I never thought I would get this far, so I never really thought about it.

My phone began to buzz right next to my head, I pick up the phone and look at the screen. It was Melo calling. I didn't want to pick up right now, so i declined it. I know damn well imma get shit for this later but right now all i can think about is the future.

I put my head in my hands and screamed into my palms. Trying to let the frustration and anxiety out. My chest feels so tight, my brain feels like it's going to explode.

Why can't I live in the now? Why do I have to dwell?

My phone starts ring again, I just let it go. Moments later my phone starts blowing up with texts from everybody. When I get like this, I just want to be alone.

Just like after my Father past, I didn't leave my room for days. My mom had to bring me food, make sure i showered. I was really depressed, that was my first depressive episode ever. After that my mom took me to the doctors and that's when i got diagnosed with a depression disorder. Anxiety came right after that months later.

My mom is the only one who knows about that, about my mental health. Nobody else does. My mother is my only support system and she is barely around now. That's not her fault though, she has to put food in the fridge and pay these bills for this nice ass house.

Sometimes I cant believe this is really our house, that my fridge is stocked up with food right now. That was have wifi, cable, and light. Sometimes at night, I just thank god.

I open my eyes and look up at my ceiling. I felt my body start to shake really badly, my chest started to tighten, and I started to hyperventilate. I quickly sat up and grabbed my chest. It was like I was having a heart attack.

But I know I wasn't, I was having a panic attack. And the bonus is.. I was home alone. I started to cry hysterically, it's like i couldn't stop. I began to reach behind my bed trying to find my phone in all these covers.

I finally found it and quickly clicked on my mother's contact. After a few rings she finally picks up.

"Hey baby, you know i'm working right now I-

"Mom, I cant breathe.." I interrupted her.

"Baby, yes you can. Breathe in and out. This is just a panic attack darling." she tries to assured me.

I started crying harder, I hated this feeling. I haven't had a panic attack in a long time, every since I moved here. It's like I thought I was cured, i thought moving cured me. I was wrong.

"Hey, Hey! Scar listen to me. I'm calling Melo right now okay?"

I didn't respond, I couldn't with all this crying i was doing. I didn't want Melo to see me like this, but it's too late now.

"I texted him honey, he is on his way. I'm gonna stay on the phone with you til he gets there, okay?"

"O-okay."

(●'□')♡

_____

"Have any of y'all gotten a hold on my damn girl dawg?" I said to the speaker in my phone.

I was on group facetime with the squad, we all are worried sick about my baby right now.

Scarlet hasn't been answering my texts since she got outta school. She seemed out of it all day today, sometimes i would catch her in her own little world. obviously I asked her about it. I asked her multiple times actually, pressuring her into telling me what's wrong. but she kept telling me she was fine, I didn't believe her.

"Nah Dawg, I just texted her doe." Eli deep ass voice boomed through my phone speakers.

"Yeah Dip, she ain't texting me back either. And that's weird cause we text everyday. Something is up y'all." Vin responds.

My phone buzzes and it was text message from Scarlet momma.

"Is that Scar Melo?" Vin asks me.

"No it's Scarlet Momma, Scarlet having a panic attack! I need to go over there right fucking now!"

I quickly hung up the phone and got up to put my slides on. I raced down my stairs, out my door to my car.

"Damn Boy! what I tell you about running in my house?!" My dad yelled.

I didn't pay him no mind, my baby needs me. I got in my car and sped off to Scarlets house.