"Most people want things to be black and white but sometimes we must settle for the colors in between"

Song- Can I call you tonight; Dayglow

*

I feel strong arms carry me into bed and immediately know it's Cam. I can't open my eyes so just let him carry me to my bed. He lays me in my bed and I feel him place a blanket over me before I fall back to sleep.

"It's not a big deal" He kisses down my neck, the lips I once found sweet and loving now make me sick to my stomach.

"I said no!" I use all my strength to shove him off. My sugar was low, my strength was low because of that.

"Shut up!" The sting of a slap could be felt across my cheek.

"Get off of me!" He starts kissing down my chest and I quickly lift my leg up and knee him. He groans before his eyes harder. His hand goes straight to my neck choking me.

I gasp for air trying to pry his hands away from me. The room gets darker and darker. My head hurts and everything around me blurs.

"Lee"

"Lee wake up"

"Lee!"

I shoot up gasping for air. My hand immediately flys to my throat holding it protectively. I look around and see Cam sitting on the bed next to me. His laptop was open at the end of the bed with an assignment pulled up.

He places a hand on my back rubbing it as I try to control my breathing. Tears threaten to leak from my eyes but I hold them back.

"It's okay Lee, you're okay" Cam says soothingly. I meet his eyes letting one tear slip from me but I quickly wipe it away.

"I- I saw him" I say. He nods placing a hand on the back of my head and pulling me into his chest. I wrap my arms around him tightly as if I let go I would break.

"He's never going to hurt you again, I promise" He whispers running his fingers through my hair and kissing my forehead.

"What if he does?" I ask looking up at him. His deep chocolaty eyes calm me down.

"I won't let him" he tells me honestly, I can hear it in his voice. We sit like that for a few minutes until I'm calmed enough. He then shuts his laptop setting it on the beside table and turns the light off.

We've been sharing a bed since we were little. When he sleeps here he always sleeps on my bed since Theo is a kicker and there's not enough room for Connor, Grayson and him in Grays room.

He places the blanket over us and settled into bed. We lay in silence for a minute before Cam turns to face me propping his head up with his hand.

"How long have you been having nightmares again? I thought they were gone?" He asks me. I sigh playing with my fingers that lay on my stomach. He places a hand over them to still me.

"A few months" I admit looking over to him. "I just didn't want to bother anyone."

"Of course you didn't" he mutters bitterly. My brows furrowed and I sit up turning to face him.

"What is that supposed to mean?!" I ask with venom in my voice. He sits up too, his face full of frustration. I quickly flick on the light before turning back to him.

"It means you're too damn stubborn to ask for help when you need it!" His temper starts to shine through.

"I don't need help" I say lowly crossing my arms.

"You do! God Lee, you don't have to be tough all the time" he runs his hand through his hair in a frustrated manor.

"I'm not tough all the time" I protest glaring at him.

"Bullshit" we argue with our eyes for a minute before I flick the light off.

"I'm done arguing with you about this, I'm going to bed" I turn oven facing away from him. He sighs and I feel him lie back down.

After a long while of trying to fall asleep it seems my brain just won't shut off. I open my eyes and stare at the clock beside my bed watching the time tick off.

"I can practically hear you overthinking" Cam mumbles. I look back at him with a straight face. "Look, we'll figure it all out later. For now you just need sleep"

I nod and he wraps an arm around me pulling me into his chest. A sense of comfort washed over me and I was able to relax.

"Cam?" I whisper interrupting the silence.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you" I say listening to the crickets chirp outside.

"For what?" I feel his chest rumble underneath me.

"Always being there for me" I reply feeling my eyelids getting heavier by the second.

"Of course Lee, you're my best friend." He tells me kissing the crown of my head. That last thing I remember before I drift off to sleep.

The next day when we woke up mom still wasn't home. We all piled into the truck and head to the local diner for breakfast with the others.

When I walk through the door the smell of bacon and coffee fills my nose. I inhale deeply stopping in my tracks. Theo bumps into me dropping his phone.

"Why are you just standing there?" He questions while picking up his phone.

"I'm taking a moment to really appreciate the food" I roll my eyes.

"Weirdo" Connor chuckles walking past me. I slap the back of his head before walking to the corner booth that we claimed as our own for years.

Cam and Grayson sit on either side of me. Theo and Connor sit next to Cam. The rest of our friends soon arrive and sit around the booth. We look over our menus and my stomach grumbles by just looking at it.

"Morning kiddos!" Carol, the middle age, sweet diner waitress who has worked here since I remember greets us. "I went ahead and brought you a sweet tea" she winks setting a tea in front of me with the heavy country accident everyone in this town has.

"You know me too well"

"You've been drinking tea since the first moment you could drink" She laughs opening up her notepad. "Now what can I get the rest of you non sweet tea addicted people to drink"

Everyone says what they want, mostly coffees or sodas beside Addie who orders a milkshake. She goes behind the counter taking a couple people's orders along the way.

"Could I get this?" Gray whispers pointing to a item on the menu. I look and see the price is 8 dollars and look up to his hopeful face.

"Of course" I smile turning to Theo who was taking about how he was going to order a mega-stack pancake.

"Yes!" He exclaims giving me a quick hug. I look over the menu trying to find something to order with the leftover money we have. Nothing on the menu is cheap enough besides a side of 2 pieces of bacon.

Carol comes back with everyone's drinks and starts taking orders. After Grayson order his food she turns to me. I smile up at her and say "I'll just have a side of bacon and another sweet tea"

"Is that all you want?" Miles asks and I just nod.

"I'm not that hungry plus I packed a large lunch." I lie putting on a convincing tone. Cam goes next ordering enough food to feed an army and then she walks away.

The conversation drifts to Asher and Theo's double date from last weekend. They went out with twins from a town over.

"And her boobs, perfect!" Asher puts his hands on his chest to emphasized his point.

"And the best part was there was 4 of them!" Theo adds before the two idiots high five. Cam chuckles and Addie rolls her eyes while Miles just watched with a amused face.

"Where they nice?" Brianna asks innocently. Addie, Miles and I all share a look.

"Why does that matter?" Asher wonders dumbly.

I scoff and mutter "pig"

"You know Mar, if you want some of this" Asher motions to himself "all you gotta do is ask"

"I'd rather actually do my school instead of cheating off of those two" I point to Brianna and Miles who both give me a look "than go out with you"

"Boys like you are the reason I'm into girls" Addie comments. I, along with Cam, Gray, Connor, Bri and Miles all laugh while the other 2 boys glare at us.

"I think they should be the poster boys for the 'kill all men' campaign" Brianna says taking a sip of her drink.

"Here, here!" I raise my sweet tea in the air clanking my drink with the girls.

"You do realize we're right here" Miles clears his throat. I look to him with a straight face.

"Yep"

All the food arrives and my mouth was watering. I look down at my two wimpy pieces of bacon and sigh. Before I can even eat Miles hands me my diabetic bag. I don't protest and check my sugar.

After giving myself insulin I start to chew on my bacon. I love bacon but it isn't as good when it's all you're eating. As I finish my last bite 2 double chocolate pancakes, scrambled eggs and a biscuit is slid in front of me.

It's what I had always ordered since I first came here. I look up at Cam who is engulfed in a conversation with Miles and Theo but glances at me and nods subtly.

"Eat it" he tells me. I slide it back to him.

"It's yours, I'm okay" I reply. He turns to me with an exasperated look.

"I got it for you dumbass, now eat it or I'll shove it down your throat" he threatens pushing it back to me. I nod taking a bite of the pancakes and letting the chocolate goodness melt in my mouth.

"I think I'm in love" I mumble catching everyone's attention. "Can you marry Pancakes?"

"Probably, we live in America" Asher shrugs scrapping food off of his plate.

"Well then I'm marrying these pancakes" I announce. "Miles, you're officiating, Addie and Bri- Bridesmades, you 3 are the best men" I point to Miles, Cameron and Connor. "Gray, you're the ring bearer, Theo- flower girl and Asher, you can be the alcoholic uncle that gets drunk at the reception"

They all stare at me wide eyed for a minute before shaking their heads and changing the subject. I sigh looking down at my pancakes.

"No one understand our love" I say to them.

"Mar?" I look up at Miles.

"Yeah?"

"Stop talking to the pancakes"

"No"

With our stomachs full we head back to our house. I change into a pair of black jeans and a baby blue, cropped, turtle neck sweater since I wore my pajamas to the diner because I was too tired to change.

We hang out at the house for a few hours before the boys all walk down to the park a couple minutes away to play baseball leaving us girls to have some girl time. We were all sprawled out on our bed catching up.

"Did I show y'all the hot new girl I'm going on a date with tomorrow?" Addie asks grabbing her phone and pulling up a picture of a really pretty girl with beautiful blue hair.

"What happened to... Katelyn?" Brianna questions "or whatever her name was"

"She was too clingy, she wanted to label it" Addie grimaces clicking off her phone and slipping it into her Jean shorts matched with some fishnet stockings and a very revealing top. Briana was wearing a purple summer dress with her hair in 2 braid.

"Wow the horror!" I mock placing a hand on my forehead "labels!" I fake cry. Briana giggles and Addie shoves me off the bed. I land on the floor with a thud and feel a bruise form on my butt.

"You bitch!" I hop up and grab a pillow hitting her across the head with the pillow. Addie grabs a pillow and holds it up.

"You're gonna regret that" she says.

"Maybe we could do something less-" Briana starts to say but Addie and I both hit her with the pillow. She gasps and grabs her own.

1 hour later we're all in the living room with music blaring and pillows scattered around the room. We are all sprawled out on the floor red in the face and out of breath. After our pillow fight we had a dance party where we screamed 1 direction and old Taylor swift at the top of our lungs.

"Honey I'm home!" Cam announces walking through the front door.

"Leave!" I reply not looking up.

"Rude" Cam says flicking my head.

"We had the best idea!" Theo smiles widely.

"Uh oh" Bri gulps looking at my brother.

"No this ones good" miles assures her.

"If Miles approves then it's gonna be boring" I groan shaking my head.

"We're going to have a bonfire!" Asher tells us and I perk up.

"Hell yeah!" Addie exclaims.

"Okay, I agree"

Bonfires are a regular part of our routine. We'd get drinks and snacks before meeting in the back yard and starting the fire. Then we would spend the entire night under the stars goofing off.

Mom texted us earlier letting us know that she was crashing at Saras tonight since Dave had to work and Sara wasn't feeling well so she needed help watching Ella.

Soon after everyone goes to get drinks and sticks from the woods. Miles stays home with me to set up. We get stuff together for s'more, pour chips into bowls and grab solo cups.

My head runs a million miles a minute so much I can barley think straight. I try to concentrate on Miles telling me about the colleges he applied early for. Of course Miles being Miles notices my weird mood.

"Okay, what's going on in the messed up brain of yours?" He asks setting down the bowl of chips.

"What are you talking about?" I say dumbly eating a chip.

"You've been off all day Mar" he explains taking the chip bowl away from me. "Now what's up?"

I take a deep break and say "do you ever feel like you're holding everyone around you back?"

"What do you mean?"

"Theo and Gray would be playing travel ball if it weren't for me, Cam too. Mom would have so much more money if it wasn't more my medical bills and-"

"That's enough Mar" Miles shushes me. "You don't hold anyone back. We all love you and none of us would be the same without you in our life"

"I-"

"No arguing. You're my best friend and I won't let you bash yourself anymore" He argues. I smile softly opening my arms.

"Thanks Miley" I hug him smirking widely.

"I told you not to call me that" he groans pulling away from me and rolling his eyes.

"And I told you I don't care" I say grabbing 2 bowls of chips and skipping outside. We have a large fire pit with 4 logs around it. A small foldable table was already set up and I quickly wipe it off setting down the bowls.

Miles brings out the s'mores stuff and the cups. When we're done we sit on the couch discussing random things.

"So my theory is the molecular level-" Miles goes into detail about some scientific thing that I actually find interesting. Before he can finish his rant the door opens.

"I come bearing Beers and Booze!" Theo shouts holding 2 grocery bags in his outreached arms.

I clap my hands together standing up quickly and saying "let's get this party started"