"The biggest lies are the ones you tell yourself"

Song- Wrecking ball; mother mother

Sunday was spent holed up in my room. All my friends came over but I kept door locked. Miles and Brianna dropped off food so I didn't have to leave.

I felt like all the progress I had made in the past few months had washed away. The entire day I just stared at my celling letting the time slip through my fingers.

Cam tried to talk to me multiple times but I ignored him. I was beyond pissed and every minute I got angrier at him. If I talked to him now I would probably slap him.

Not that that wouldn't be fun.

When everyone left that night I left my room and showered before pulling out my drawing pad. I drew a picture of a girl sitting on the edge of a cliff.

Her hair was blowing in the wind and her arms were wrapped around herself as she looked out. Once I added the finishing touches I shut my drawing pad and set it beside my bed.

After saying good night to my brothers I lay in my bed staring at the celling until I fall asleep.

"Marlee get your lazy ass up!" Theo shouts at me waking me up immediately.

I sit up with my head pounding. I barley slept a wink last night and feel absolutely drained. Dragging myself out of bed, I walk to my closet. Throwing on a pair of black sweat pants, a cropped white tank top and a green jacket, I head to my dresser.

I put on some concealer to cover up my eye bags and some mascara. Throwing my hair in a messy bun and giving myself one glance I cringe at how bad I look but don't have the energy to do anything else.

Slipping on some converse that match my jacket and grabbing my bag I head out the door. Grayson sits on the end of his bed tying his shoes.

"Wow, you actually came out of your room." He jokes. I flip him off going to the kitchen. My favorite smell of coffee fills my nose. I quickly pour myself a glass and drink it.

"Morning Mar!" Theo chirps way to happy for so early in the morning.

I swear morning people are the vein of my existence.

"Mhm" I mumble laying my head on the table.

"Tired?"

"No I just love the table" I say sarcastically not moving. I hear the honk of Cameron's truck and Grayson has to practically drag me out of the house.

The front seat is empty and Cam looks at home hopeful but I avert my gaze and sit in the truck bed next to Connor.

"Hey Mar" he says knocking his shoulder with mine.

"Hey Connor" I reply giving him a small smile. I can feel Cameron's have gaze burning in my head but I ignore him closing my eyes and leaning back.

Brianna sits next to me when we pick her up. She tells me about a new book she's reading the rest of the ride which I'm grateful for. Anything to get my mind off of Evan.

You wouldn't think something as minor as seeing him again would bring it all back but it was the first time I've seen him since it happened.

When we arrive at school I hurry out of the truck. All of my other friends chatter about random things but Cam of course follows after me.

"Lee please talk to me" he begs and I hear the desperation in his voice.

"No"

"That's talking to me" he smirks walking beside me. I roll my eyes and speed up walking into the bathroom cutting off our conversation.

I hide in the stall watching Tik toks until the bells rings. I leave the stall and rush to class but the second bell rings before I can make it.

Opening the door quietly I try to make it to my seat before Sara catches me but it fails.

"Marlee, you're late." She says sternly. I slowly turn around to face her with a guilty smile.

"Sorry Sara- mrs.Taylor" She crosses her arms and taps her foot looking at me with disapproval written all over her face.

"Don't let it happen again" she points me to my seat and I sit down smacking Theo and Addie (who were snickering) in the back of the head.

The first 4 periods couldn't have passed any slower. I've been doing pretty good avoiding Cameron all day. Luckily for third period he had a baseball meeting since he was co-captains with Theo.

I was going to try and skip lunch but Miles dragged me with him. I sit down not getting out food since I "forgot" to bring food. I wasn't hungry.

I don't think I could stomach food right now.

"You not eating?" Addie questioned catching the attention of everyone else.

"Forgot my lunch, I'll eat when I get home." I shrug taking a sip of my water bottle.

"Speaking of after school, I was going to head to the mall and steal some stuff if anyone wants to join?" Addie suggests.

"Sounds fun" I comment.

"Sounds illegal" Brianna disagrees.

"That's what makes it fun" I wink shaking her lightly.

Miles and Brianna manage to talk Addie out of the mall. While they're all arguing and Connor and Grayson are playing carrot football with Theo and Asher, food appears in front of me.

I shove it back not looking up at Cameron who I feel looking at me.

"Eat it Marlee" he tells me pushing it back.

"No"

"Yes" he argues. "I get your mad but you have to eat"

I ignore him, not touching the food and looking out the window in front of me.

"Lee, come on."

"Just leave me alone!" I snap turning to face him. The rest of the table quiets and turns to us.

"God, what is your problem?!" He becomes very frustrated all of the sudden.

"My problem?!" I echo "you're the one with the problem!"

"I don't even know why you're mad!" He basically shouts but the rest of the lunchroom is too caught up in their own problems to notice up.

"Of course you don't" I mutter bitterly.

"What is that supposed to mean?!" He asks with a harsh tone.

"I mean your head is too stuck up your ass to notice anyone else!" My words make the veins in his neck pop out and his brows furrow.

"You know that's not true" he says with his jaw clenched.

"Do I?" I say cooly crossing my arms over my chest. He runs his hand down his face shoving the tray of food in front of me.

"Just eat the damn food"

"No"

"Why are you always so stubborn?!"

"I'm not stubborn!"

"Yes you are"

My frustration grows. I try to hold it in by taking a deep breath but nothing works. I just need a break from all of it .

"Can you just leave me alone!?" I shout standing up and storming out of the cafeteria picking up my backpack.

I sneak out the side door of the school where the security camera doesn't work. I didn't mean to blow up on him like that. Sure I was upset at him but he was just trying to help.

I just don't want help and no one understands that. After successfully making it away from school I wander around town for a bit. I find an older abandoned building and inspiration kicks in.

So I do what I always do when I'm upset.

I paint.

I use my bottles of spray paint I always keep in my bag and start. I've never been the best at expressing my emotions (example: literally 30 minutes ago when I yelled at Cameron). Painting is one of the only ways I can get my emotions out.

I paint a picture of a heart but it's broken. It's being put together with bandaids and tape but isn't the same. When I'm done I quickly snap a picture and pack up my stuff before walking.

I walk past the diner waving at Carol when I hear a car stop beside me.

"What do you think you're doing?" A deep voice says. I smile turning to see Dave with Ella in the back seat.

"Taking a walk?!" I shrug with an awkward smile.

"In the middle of the school day?" He studies me for a minute before signing. "Get in kiddo, let's go for a ride."

I nod and sit in the passenger seat turning back and giving Ella a quick kiss. He starts driving as I buckle up.

"So what's wrong?" He questions taking a turn.

"Nothings wrong" I lie and he glances at me from the side of his eyes with a don't lie look. "Just been a rough couple of days"

"Are you and Cam fighting?"

"How'd you-"

"He's been sulking around the house with a guilty look" he explains. "Do you want me to knock some sense into him?" He half jokes.

"No" I sigh "I wasn't even his fault really, I guess I've just been taking it out on him since I can't take it out on anyone else." I admit feeling immensely guilty. "I know it's horrible-"

"He wouldn't be acting that way if he didn't mess up in some way" Dave tells me pulling down an unfamiliar street. "And the boy loves you more than life itself, I don't think he minds. He just wants to help."

"That's the problem" I mutter "he's always trying to help and it just makes me want to explode sometimes"

"Have you told him this?"

"Yeah, but you know him" I reply as Dave parks at a pretty clearing in the woods filled with flowers. "He doesn't quit"

"You're not wrong about that one" he chuckles glancing back at Ella who's dead asleep. "But maybe the reason you don't want his help is because you don't want to face whatever's going on in that beautiful brain of yours"

Ding ding ding

We have a winner lady's and gents.

I stay silent not know how to reply.

"You know I love you like one of my own right Marlee?" Dave asks looking at me with a caring look.

"Of course"

"So I say this out of love"

I don't like the sound of this

"You've been dealt a rough hand, that's for sure" I laugh bitterly "but you've never let that change you or wipe the smile off your face. Maybe that's because you don't face your problems like you should."

I stay silent looking at the flowers.

"You don't have to answer just think about it, maybe it'll help" he wraps an arm around me giving me a comforting hug.

"Thanks old man" I chuckle. He laughs heartily ruffling my hair.

"Who you calling old?"

I look back outside realizing I've never been here before "what is this place?"

"Well this is the place I proposed to Sara at back in the olden days" he jokes.

"It's beautiful" I comment and he nods his head in agreement.

"But she was more beautiful" he has love in his eyes as he thinks of Sara.

Sara and Dave were never like mom and my dad. They have the love movies have. They wake up every day with a smile on their face just because they are next to each other.

When they're apart they think about each other. They can tell what they other is thinking by looking at them.

That's the kind of love I want.

But life isn't that kind to me.

"You're so sappy" I joke nudging his shoulder.

"Having you girls around will do that to a guy" he says blatantly "well and Theo"

I let out a loud laugh punching his shoulder lightly.

"How does some ice cream sound?" He suggest.

"Wonderful"

After going into town and getting some ice cream I bounce Ella on my hip walking down the street with Dave.

When I was younger we used to go on little trips like this all the time. I guess I kinda grew out of them but it's nice to do it again.

When we got back to the car I buckled Ella in her seat giving her a little tickle.

"I have to run to the store to pick up some things for dinner tonight, want me to drop you off at home?" Dave questions leaning against the door.

"I think I'm just going to walk, clear my mind a bit." I tell him grabbing my bag from the passenger side seat. He wraps me in a big bear hug patting my back.

"You're gonna be okay kiddo" he says while letting go. I start walking and he calls "see you tonight!"

He drives off leaving me alone, well not alone. Many people walk down the streets smiling my way or waving. Most of the adults on my side of town are friendly (unlike the teens).

I've grown up around these people, most of them babysat me or came to my birthday. That's one of the only reason I like this place. These people are like family.

The flower shop owner, Carol, Grams, Miles dad. Everyone else on this side of town. It's the teens especially the ones on the rich side that make me hate this town.

My brain moves faster than my feet and in less than 10 minutes I'm at home. I stop a little bit away when I spot Cams car and decide to walk around town once or ten times more.

I turn around and walk through different neighborhoods until my head feels less fuzzy and I can think straight. When I finally arrive at home Theo, Cam, Grayson and Connor are walking to his truck.

I texted my brothers earlier letting them know I was okay and alive.

"Is that my missing sister?" Theo calls as I get close enough "wow I thought I would never see you again" he hugs me dramatically fake crying "you look so grown up"

"It's been like 5 hours" I reply dryly.

"You're such a delinquent skipping school" Connor tuts shaking his head.

"Next step is dropping out and becoming a stripper" Grayson adds and all three boys snicker. Cameron gets in the driver seat slamming the door.

"Haha" I fake laugh rolling my eyes and hopping in the trunk. Cameron turns back with a cold gaze.

"Nice disappearing act Houdini" he comments not in our usual joking way. A certain ice was in his voice.

Well this is going to be a fun dinner.