"The stars were bright but her eyes were brighter"

Song-cloud 9; Beach bunny

"Coffee?" Mom offers, setting it in front of me. She had a day off for once. She let us all skip school and have a family day.

After breakfast we go to the museum and catch a movie. I want to enjoy the day with my mom as much as I can but I can't. A weight was laying on my chest that I couldn't get rid of.

They didn't seem to notice thankfully but after the day of faking my smile (which I should be a professional at by now) I was extremely tired. All I wanted to do was sleep.

Except I couldn't.

When I would fall asleep occasionally, Evan would be there. In my dreams. He would hurt my family or my friends. He would hurt me again. After that I couldn't fall back to sleep.

The nightmares had died down in the past year but they're back and worse. I thought it would get better with time?

That's what everyone told me. It just takes time. Theo was the only person who was honest. "It'll probably be with you forever, but each day it will fade a little" he would say every time I would wake him up after a nightmare.

I decide to check my phone that was laying on my bedside table. I check random snap stories from people at my school when I get a text from Cam.

Confused on why he's up, I click on it and text him back.

I turn off my phone and get out of bed. It's officially November which means it's going to be cold outside. I shuffle through my closet and find a fluffy black coat that I throw on quickly when I hear his truck pull up.

I slip on some soft, fluffy socks and a pair of shoes before heading to the living room. Unlocking the door, Cams standing in front of it.

His hair was messy as always, he was wearing a hood in a tan color and some black pants.

"You found the door" I comment, shutting it behind us. The cold November air was blocked off by my coat but my face felt the chill.

"I know, aren't you proud?" He grins as we walk down the driveway.

"So proud" I say with a small laugh. "Why couldn't you sleep?"

"Just have some things on my mind" he shrugs, we both walk onto the street. It was completely deserted since most people in this town are asleep at this time. "What about you?"

"Just some things on my mind." I tell him, he smiles and his eyes meet mine. He then looks up at the sky. The moon was full and peeking out from behind a cloud.

"I have an idea." He grabs my hand and pulls me to the middle of the road before lying down.

"What are you doing?" I ask as he props his hands under his head.

"Laying down" he says nonchalantly, beckoning me to do the same. "Come on"

"Fine" I mumble, laying next to him and watching the clouds move factly by over the moon. "So, what were you thinking about?" I look over at him.

His face was lit up buy the bright moon, highlighting all of his features. His jawline was as sharp as always, his hair covered his forehead slightly and I fought the urge to push it back.

"You" he whispers, angle his head to face me. My face tints pink and I take a shaker breath.

"Why?" I question softly, a small crease forming in my brows.

"I'm always thinking about you, always have been, always will be." He looks nervous, he's never nervous. "You're my person Lee. When I see you I smile, when you're not with me it feels like a part of me is missing. When you frown instead of smiling I do everything to bring your beautiful smile back"

He sits up slowly, turning to me. I do the same thing. "I-"

"Last time I kissed you I was drunk but that wasn't the only reason. I've wanted to do that for a while now, but it wasn't the right moment and I realize that now." He explains, only one of his dimples popping out as he grins nervously.

"What are you saying?" The words spill out of my mouth. My heart pounds in my chest as I watch him. My eyes not leaving his face for even a second.

"I'm saying-" he pauses for a minute trying to find the right words "fuck it" he mutters before moving in and connecting our lips.

I freeze for a moment then quickly kiss back. This was like our last kiss but heightened. It was passionate and rough but sweet and gentle at the same time. He pulls me onto his lap, not pulling back.

My hands go to his face and our lips move in sync. The entire world fades away from me and all I see his him in this moment. His hands that are planted on my waist pulls me a little closer.

We then realize that we're human and need air to survive so we separate. I still stay in his lap and his hands stay on my waist.

"That was-" he breathes out of breath.

"Yeah" I nod, feeling a spark of electricity shoot through me as his fingers crawl up my spine. One of my hands run through his hair. We look at each other for a minute before we both are in a fit of laughter.

It takes us a minute to calm down but when we do, he reaches up and tucks a piece of hair behind my ear. He kisses me once more but this one is short and sweet. He yawns afterwards so I stand up and brush myself off.

"Where you going?" He whines, standing up after me.

"To bed, you should too." I say, poking his cheek.

"Fine" he pouts while walking me to my door. I open it and walk out but he grabs my arm and pulls me back, kissing me once more.

"Goodnight Lee." He says softly, a smile big enough both of his dimples show.

"Night Cam"

Mid November the temperature completely dropped. At nights it got down to the 20's and during the day was only up to 40. It might seem warm to some but living in Georgia your whole life doesn't prepare you for cold weather.

Cameron and I haven't talked about the kiss since it's happened. I thought it might be awkward but it wasn't. That morning he was at the house and we were Cameron and Marlee like always.

In the past couple weeks I've gotten more and more text. I even saw Evan outside of the school. I froze and Miles bumped into me asking what was wrong. I made up a lie and got in the truck.

I think everyone's worried about me. The bags under my eyes grow every day and I'm constantly on edge. Cam keeps pestering me on what's wrong but I refuse to tell him. He gets grumpy for a few minutes but then gets over it.

Brianna and Miles keep sending me encouraging smiles like I'm someone from Make-A-Wish or something. Addie and Asher keep trying to get me out of the house and to a party but I know that would make everything worse.

So instead I hang out with my friends, babysit Ella and stay in my room. I haven't painted in what feels like ages. I can't bring myself to do it for some reason.

It's a Monday but we only have 1 week of school before fall break. Instead of a fall break in October our school combines it with thanksgiving break to give us an extra long break.

I'm already up when Theo barges into my room to wake me up. Correction, I've been up since 4 from another nightmare. He throws a pillow at my head and then leaves the room.

My makeup is done with a full face in hopes of covering how tired I am. I drunk a couple cups of coffee and threw on a random warm outfit from my closet.

My hair was in bubble braids that I saw on Pinterest and looked easy. They weren't.

I go into the kitchen and see Theo and Grayson fighting over the last pop tart. I go to the cabinet and grab another box, throwing it at them. "There's more dumbasses"

"Oh" Grayson sends Theo a sheepish smile. "Whoops"

School drags on and by the time I get home I'm exhausted. I plop into my bed and shut my eyes for a minute when my phone rings. The caller I.D shows Cams face and name so I click on it.

"Hello?" I yawn into the phone.

"Ma's making me get grocery's but I don't know how to shop. Will you come with me?" He begs, his voice has the slightest rasp it always has.

"How do you not know how to shop?" I question, sitting up.

"I always get the wrong stuff or it takes a long time, please Lee?" He waits a second for me to reply. I sigh while rolling my eyes even though he can't see.

"Fine, but we're getting sweet tea on the way." I demand before hanging up and dragging myself out of bed.

"You're the best"

"Shut up"

Getting into Cams truck, the cold air freezes me. I shiver and turn up the heat. The second I sit down he hands me a tea. I take a long sip and say "now you can speak"

"Okay, Ma gave us a long list." He draws on, placing his hand behind my headrest and backing out of the driveway.

My breath hitches as he looks at the road behind us and spins the wheel to back out. When he turns forward and starts driving straight I allow myself to breathe again like a normal person.

I sip silently on the sweet tea as we drive only a couple minutes to the grocery. Cam chatters the entire time about random things. As we walk in, he grabs the cart and hands me the list.

I lead us to the first isle and start throwing stuff in. 15 minutes later, we're a few isles down and I'm trying to find the right sauce. When I grab it and put it in the cart, I notice 2 boxes of cookies.

"What are these?" I ask, placing a hand on my hip. He looks at me with a boyish grin.

"Cookies?" He says shyly.

"Cookies aren't on the list." I reply, grabbing them and putting them onto the shelf.

"Yeah they are, see." He grabs the list from my hand and runs in fingers down it. "B.r.o.c.c.o.l.i" he reads out the letters then says "cookies!"

I don't argue and let him throw the cookies back in the cart. He cheers, skipping to the next isle and I follow. I look down the isle to make sure no ones following us before entering it.

I spend what feels like forever trying to find the cereal that Sara wants. When I do, I realize it's on the very top shelf. I groan, taking a step forward.

"What's wrong?" Cam appears behind me, throwing some chips into the cart.

"I hate being short" I mutter, pointing at the top shelf. "We're gonna have to get a worker" I say, reading the sign on the top shelf.

"Or... we could do this." He smiles before grabbing onto my waist and bending down. "Get on my shoulders!" He urges.

I do as he says and swing my legs onto his shoulders. He wraps his hands around my thighs to steady me before standing up.

"I swear if you drop me, I will kill you." I threaten, reaching to grab the box. Cam yanks me and I wobble for a minute. He laughs while I steady myself.

"You asshole!" I slap his head, a mother with her kids glares at us. Cam laughs even more as I glare down at him.

"Okay, okay. I'm done, grab it now." He takes a few deep breaths and tries to stop laughing. I reach up again and grab the box. I hand it to him and he places it into the cart.

"Let me down now"

"Nope" he says, pushing the cart with one hand and keeping the other on my leg.

"Cam, I'm serious!" I try to sound as tough as I can but the smile on my face weakens it.

"No can do" he tells me, turning into another isle. "You're stuck with me"

And I wouldn't have it any other way.