It had been over a week since Osiris yelled at me to get out of his office. I had worked up the courage to talk to him, to face him, and he screamed at me. I thought we were getting somewhere, and getting to know one another but I was wrong.

Now, I avoided him.

I had taken up refuge in my bedroom for most days. I hardly ever came out unless Desmond was home and I think he knew that and sent Ivy over to the cabin the last three days. I was thankful for her presence, it helped ease the discomfort I felt staying in the cabin knowing Osiris was in his office most of the day.

"So you don't have a wolf? At all?" Ivy was astounded as I shared my shortcomings in being a defective werewolf. I restrained from telling her how shameful of a daughter I was to my father but I explained to her that I was twenty-three and still never shifted.

I shook my head. "I never had a wolf."

Blowing on her nails she gazed over at me from the desk chair. The noon sun beamed off her orange hair like a blazing fire. "I've never heard of such a thing. Are you sure that both your parents are werewolves?"

I nodded my head twisting the nail polish closed and looking out the window. The autumn breeze blew loss leaves from their hibernating trees.

"What did your parents think about it?" Ivy pressed on.

"They still love me all the same. I could tell that it bothered them a little but not in shameful way, they were more concerned than anything else. I couldn't say the same for my pack." I blurted out.

I hadn't meant to open up and share such a dark part of my life but the comment flew from my lips before I could clamp them shut.

Ivy's brow knitted together. "What do you mean? Did they bully you?"

I scoffed at her words. If only all they did was bully me I thought. "I wish."

"They... hurt you?" She frowned as she realized my dark reality. "And your parents did nothing?"

"I never told them. There was no reason to, I was an adult when it first started, plus I hid it from them." I explained curling my legs to my chest.

I thought back to the time my mother noticed my first bruised lip. She was so concerned running to the freezer to find an ice pack. I remember telling her that I slipped on black ice and hit the railing or the stair outside the coffee shop downtown. The lie came off my tongue so smoothly that my mom didn't blink twice before chalking up the bruise to my clumsiness.

The amount of relief that came from my little lie should have felt so good but it had. I didn't need her or worse my father, running to the alpha about the regular assaults. It was better to remain silent and lie to them, than to cause an uproar about protecting the defective wolf such as myself.

The bitter memories felt pungent in my head as they jumped from one scene to the next, reliving them all as if they had just happened.

"I'm sorry Phinny." Her voice was sorrowful as she listened. "That's not how packs are supposed to act."

I shrugged at her words. It didn't matter now what was right and what was wrong, the damage was done and there was no reversing it.

"It's much different here as I'm sure you've noticed." Ivy perked up offering a warm smile.

I had let out a dry laugh that caused her smile to dissipate. "I wouldn't say all that. Alpha Osiris isn't much better."

"But of course he is. He's very kind, and patient."

I found her words like a slap in the face. He was anything but kind. The way he yelled at me the other week had me thinking he was going to rip me to pieces. I had worked up the confidence to approach him and it was going so well and then... I don't know what happened.

It was like a switch. One moment he was joking the next he screamed at me like I wasn't allowed to be there.

He was confusing and sending me mixed signals. I shouldn't care so much but I did. He was the brother of my mate and I was sure that I was going to be here awhile, I had to figure out how to coexist with him.

There was a shuffling sound and as I lifted my gaze from the white nail polish bottle I saw Ivy rolling on the desk chair over to me. She wore a small reassuring smile that I was sure was an attempt to lift my spirits but it didn't nothing.

"Osiris isn't the easiest man to understands. He's been through a lot. He's like an egg, hard outer shell but fucking fragile inside." She retorted. I could tell she was internalizing a memory that solidified that statement.

Though it may have been easy for her to see that fragile side of him I couldn't see an ounce of weakness. He was a strange creature even the werewolf sense.

Before I got caught up in the thoughts of him like I found myself repeatedly doing day after day I shook my head. I had to rid these thoughts, they weren't okay.

But he was so thought-provoking.

"What about Desmond?" I contemplated.

Ivy's face dropped a little at my question. I tried to play it off like I didn't notice but it was all too obvious. Did she not want me to change the topic? I thought she'd want to gossip about my mate after all she was his friend, I'm sure she had a ton to say.

"What about him?" She challenged through the question back at me.

Thrown off guard I spit out the first question I could muster up. "How old is he?"

She leaned back in the swivel chair, it rocked back with a squeak as she put her hands behind her head. "Twenty-four."

"That's much younger than I thought he was. So I'm assuming Osiris is twenty-six or twenty-seven." I pondered.

"Try twenty-nine. He's an old man practically." Ivy mumbled. "But at least he acts his age, I can't say the same for Des. Now that boy can be a child, it's like night and day with those two."

She was right, they were damn near polar opposites. Desmond was open, spontaneous, laidback, and sweet. Osiris was closed off, ridged, strict, and cold. If they didn't look so similar I wouldn't believe that they were brothers.

"How come they are so different or was this how they always were?" Ivy was already shaking her head as I questioned.

"Like I said before they've been through a lot. Aspen my mate shared with me a little bit about their past. It wasn't sunshine and rainbows. I think Desmond should be the one to share that information with you, but I will say that Osiris had to grow up at a young age."

Now, I was curious. Maybe Osiris was only acting on instinct when he lashed out at me. Maybe it wasn't just because he despised me after all.

"That must have been hard."

The door to the room opened causing me to jump. Ivy must have heard Desmond coming because she didn't flinch or seem surprised by his appearance.

"What's hard?" He questioned looking between Ivy and I.

"Your head is hard." She said standing up and clapping her hands together.

Desmond smirked as he watched his friend. "Which head?"

Ivy crinkled her nose in disgust. "You're gross. I'm leaving, I'm done babysitting."

She walked out of the room patting Desmond on the shoulder sharing a secret message between them as she passed. I felt jealousy build up at their ability to talk in private in even the most crowded rooms. It was an ability I'd never acquire.

There are a lot of things that I will never be able to do that I should. Sometimes I wondered by I was cursed to never be anything my DNA was created to do. Why was I so different? Did I have bad karma from a previous life?

"What's got you all worked up?" His voice caught my attention and I looked up to see him standing in front of me.

"Nothing." I muttered softly leaning my chin on my knees.

Desmond took a deep breath as he sat in the chair. "I can smell the anger coming off of you." He stared deep in my eyes waiting for me to give in, but I didn't want to.

There was this fear of speaking about the fact that I had no wolf. I didn't want to bring up the subject scared that it would get him thinking about it and he'd change his mind on wanting me.

"Sera, you're scared. What is going on?" There was concern in his voice as he leaned his elbows on his knees and reached out for my hand. I stared at it for a long while before taking it.

Silence fell across the room as we sat their. It was awkward or unsettling, it was like Desmond knew I need the moment as I built up the courage to speak. "For years I've been trying to figure out what is wrong with me. Why I'm broken."

"You aren't broken." He assured me rubbing circles on the back of my hand.

I didn't want his reassurance or lies, of course I was broken and defective. I had no wolf, I couldn't shift, or speak telepathically. I was an estrange werewolf, if you could even call me that.

"Is it because you don't have a wolf?" He whispered pulling me out of my thoughts.

I rolled my lip into my mouth as I looked up at him. Desmond gazed down at me with such tenderness that made me open up even more. He offered a safe haven for the self inflicting hatred I had for myself.

I nodded my head unable to say anything. There was a rush of emotions that overwhelmed me to the point I was scared I'd creak under the pressure of it all. I hardly ever talked about these feelings, not even to my closest friends. My parent used to try and talk about my lack of wolf but they stopped when I began to get frustrated and angry. It was a topic I hated talking about.

"How about we go to the medic here in our pack. He might have information about why." Desmond grinned his kind-hearted attitude shining through the haze of my self deprivation.

Collecting my bearings enough to speak I muttered, "I've had every test you can think of done on me. They've all come up the same, with no answers." I didn't want to be told another hundred times how broken I was, that there was no way of getting my wolf to show. I'd rather live with the fact that I was human than hang on to some piece of hope that wouldn't change anything.

I thought my statement alone would deter him, I was wrong.

"You should get a second opinion though. What if he knows something that your previous pack medic didn't." He said eager for me to reconsider.

Was it worth a shot? Was it worth being told the bad news another hundred times? I didn't want to put myself out there again to be picked and paraded at but a small part of me wanted to know. That hopeful piece of me that I thought was long gone begged me to go. It wanted me to exhaust every resource I could get my hands on to figure out what was wrong with me.

"Fine." I whispered wishing I felt like excited with the possibility of answers but all I could feel was dread.