《Deception (Book #1) ✅》~18: Trust Me~
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The time I spent with Caleb was enjoyable. As much as I searched for a reasonable way to deter myself from his immersing proximity, I could not. It scared me how much I wanted to gain closure and talk to him more. I wanted to get answers to my never-ending list of questions that pertained to this new and allusive world.
Throughout the random conversations that we had, I found out more personal information about him.
He was twenty-seven years old, and he was the oldest, Nora was the youngest at twenty-four. He was pretty open with me about his life from his childhood friends, which were Lawerance and Alex, to the painful memory of his father's death.
I felt for him as he talked about his death as if it were yesterday.
"He died seven years ago defending my mother." The devastation was clear in his voice. It was plain to see how speaking about his late father drew him close to tears. I worried he would break down in front of me.
"From who?" I asked wanting to know more. The uncontrollable need to know every detail about his life was overpowering, but I didn't mind it, as it allowed me to understand him better.
Caleb looked up through his lashes his blue eyes looked one flick away from breaking the damn that held his tears back. I reached my hand out to his that was resting on his lap.
Finding myself trying to comfort him I couldn't help reflecting on my own life and the death of my own mother. Stifling my own tears that dared to pour out I embraced the tingles that were felt across my palm.
From the way that Caleb relaxed and the fact that his eyes had momentarily closed I knew that I had done something right with my simple touch. Still not fully understanding why I had that effect on him, I just let the moment be as it may.
Once he reopened his eyes they looked harder, darker, they looked monstrous.
I wanted to retreat my hand from his but he didn't allow it as he held onto my hand tightly. His once sad appearance was morphed into one of sinister intent.
With his voice full of malice he answered, "She was a rogue when they met. Her pack was attacked. Being the daughter of the second in command in the pack she escaped. My father was out with a group of friends when he saw her one day working in a library. The rival alpha discovered who my mom was a couple years later at a pack gathering but never attacked for the longest time." He let out a feral growl as thought back on it all. "He gave them a false sense of hope. They planned for years. My parents and my pack had all but forgotten about them but twenty years later they had finally had it all figured out and attacked her on one of my parents routine alpha patrols of the territory. It was just them." Caleb was looking out in the distance as if he were watching it all over again. "My father had bought my mother enought time to escape and run by the time she had caught up to me at one of the boarder posts she had dropped to the floor howling. He was killed." A single tear dropped down his face. "I remember hearing the pain filled howl she yelled into the air that shattered my heart."
There was a moment of sorrow filled silence once he finished his story. I couldn't compare the death of my mother to his. Though her death was a painful memory to me, her's was an illness. The death of his father was straight murder.
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"Caleb-" Guilt washed over me like a tidal wave. You just had to ask him that stupid question Eve.
"Don't, Don't you dare say sorry. I've heard it from far too many people." He snapped at me his voice sounding resentful, his cainines peeking out from under his lips. The sudden change in his mood had me yanking my hand from his, fear rising at an alarming speed.
I stood up backing away from his raging manner. The thought of the possibility he could loss his witts and kill me flashed across my mind. Instantly I picked up my backpack to make a hurried exit. It was futile however as I turned for the door and Caleb with his inhuman speed was inches in front of me.
I gasped frightened. I lost my balance from his appearence falling hard on my butt. Quickly I backed away from him, using my hands and feet to crawl away.
His eyes were pitch black and I quivered unsure of his intentions. He looked primal and his towering display of power was causing me to cower away.
For ever inch I backed away from him he'd take three towards me. I whimpered unable to contain my frightened demeanor any longer.
"Please- Caleb" I begged my heart pressing loudly against my chest in a rapid rhythm.
As if my voice snapped him out of whatever trans he was in he shook his head to reveal his blue eyes. They looked down at me in horror noticing my shaking body and pleading face.
"Fuck!" He hissed moving towards me swiftly to help me up. Unable to back up anymore because my back was flush against the cabinets, I trembled. "I didn't mean to- I'm sorry."
He bent down to my level but made no advancement to touch me.
"Eve I'm sorry. Please come here." He beckoned me to come closer to him, to reach out for his addicting touch. I did not, scared from his lack of control.
I had no desire to become his next meal.
"No..." I whispered shaking my head petrified by his close proximity to me.
It was crazy to thing that I could possibly accept him for who he was when he was so unpredictable. One wrong conversation and it seemed he could lose his control and snap my neck. This all reminded me why we would never work. My specie and his could never coexist as a relationship. We were too different. I was too weak and vulnerable, he was too domineering and wild.
"You can trust me. I'm sorry about earlier, I shouldn't have brought up the subject. I'm sorry I lose control of my feelings." He explained his attempt in making me trust him fell flat. It looked alike this had happened before and he was trying to fix what he had just caused.
Trusting him now wasn't an option. I felt as though I was moments away from my last breath. Trusting him could very easily end with me in a body bag.
"I can't trust you." As I spoke the words Caleb forcefully pulled me up, pressing me snug against the plane of his chest. My hands pushed against his chest but it was no use he was hundred times stronger than my measly human strength. "Let me go!" I yelled continuing to push against him.
"No." The authority in his voice boomed in the small loft leaving my stiff. The hold he had on me and the sound of his authoritarian voice left me unwilling to object his command. How did he have that power in his voice alone?
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I blinked unmoved in his embrace. The will power I once had to break free faded, replacing it was obedience. It was astounding to me as not even the year I spent with Roy, with all of his yelling and demands, I could always easily chose to ignore him. With Caleb it as a whole different story it wasn't so easy. And yet, instead of a rush of panic that should have enveloped me with his stern answer, I was filled with curiosity.
Even now he was frightening to me but at the same time alluring, it was frustrating as I knew very well this wasn't normal.
The feeling of his callused palm held the nap of my neck to hold my already stead gaze on his sapphire blue eyes. They looked pleadingly into mine as if begging me to listen to him, to give him a chance.
His mouth opened and closed trying to find the proper words to say to me. I could tell he feared my reaction as I was near the brink of screaming.
"I don't want you to be afraid of me." He admitted. My face must have showed how bewildered I had become by his words. Didn't he know he wasn't exactly making it easy for me to trust him? "Being an Alpha I'm more instinctual with my actions... I can't help it sometimes. I'm not trying to excuse how I lose control over my emotions... I just-" The struggle to finish his sentence was evident in his pause. His eyes searching mine for any indication I wasn't believing him. I didn't know what to think and the unfinished sentence was causing me to grow more anxious. "I just want you to understand that I am human but I'm also..."
The look he was giving me showed how torn he was with his open confession. I knew what he was going to say but he didn't want to admit it thinking it would push me further away. Oddly enough it didn't I had come to terms with it now but it was just seeing the animal part of him come out that intimidated me.
I didn't think I'd ever get use to it.
"You're also part wolf." I finished his sentence for him catching him off guard as I placed my hand on his arm that held my neck.
It was true what he was referring to when he mentioned losing control. Animals were so primal. Their only instinct is to survive and emotions were lacking. They had no reason to take their words into consideration or the tone of voice they used. It all meant nothing. What meant the most was surviving and when it came to Caleb it was surviving and leading. An Alpha wolf's role was to guide and maintain the pack as a whole. So why would he care all this time if he scared or offended anyone? That all changed when he met me. I was human I wasn't primal.
Now it seemed he was trying to dismantle all of that behavior... for me. I could tell as he recognized his mistake.
Starring into his rich blue eyes I realized he was waiting for me to push him away but as the nap of my neck tingled I felt immobile. I didn't want to pull away all of a sudden.
Instead of fighting this immobile feeling and pulling away I cautiously raised my hand to his stubbled chin. The simply gesture was enough to cause him to calm down, and fill him with my reassurance. The tension in his hold on me relaxed. I was surprised I had that same calming effect on him that he did on me, with just a simply touch.
"If you want me to trust you, please don't snap at me like you did. I am trying to find my place in all of this and your aggression isn't helping." The new found confidence shocked Caleb and I. "You want me to trust you then you also have to trust me."
"I do. I don't trust other people. I'm trying to find the rat in my pack as we speak. Once I find them things will change." He looked angry as he spoke about the betrayer. Now would be a good time to tell him about the bounty but as I went to open my mouth my phone started to ring.
Caleb released his hold on me as I moved to pull my phone from my pocket. My 5:30 alarm was going off reminding me of my 6 o'clock class.
"I have to get to class." I told him slipping the phone again into my pocket and pulling my backpack onto my shoulders.
"I'll take you." He quickly offered pulling the keys to his car out of his jean pocket.
"I can walk, it's only five blacks away." I explained unsure of another car ride with him but then I remembered the bounty and my heart sped up. "Umm.. actually yes, can you drop me off."
Caleb studied me hard at my sudden change in behavior. Remembering how he could hear my heart clearly he knew right away something was off.
"Are you okay?" He asked furrowing his eye brows together as I tried to play off my apprehension.
"Yup."
My short reply made him even more doubtful. I swallowed a lump in my throat. If I didn't change the subject soon I could tell he was going to press the issue more.
"I'm running late Caleb can we please go?" I asked walking towards the door.
"You're not telling me something." He said narrowing his eyes. My heart sped up even more. I didn't even now it was possible. "We aren't going to leave until you tell me." His arms cross revealing his massive forearms. I gulped once more trying to find a way out of this.
"Caleb-" My voice came out as a plea. I really didn't want to have another awkward conversation.
"Tell me. I can tell it's something that's making you feel fear. I can smell it." They can smell emotion. Shit! So he could smell how he made me feel the other night. The subtly pleasure from his touch.
I shook my head bringing me back to reality.
"There's a homeless guy that always tries to hit on me three blocks from here. I don't feel like dealing with him tonight." I spit out a half truth. There was a homeless guy three blocks away but he was completely harmless, actually sweet. His name was Mr. Jennings. I usually bought a croissant for him at the coffee shop every morning.
Caleb stared at me long and hard trying to read any information off of my paling face. I forced myself to hold back the urge to swallow vocally again.
"Can we go? Please." I asked forcing a smile to play off the nervousness.
He pulled the door open for me and I was relieved. I didn't know how much longer I could handle his interrogation. For sure I was going to slip up soon or cave in to his questioning.
Moving past him I thought it was all past us but I was stunned when Caleb spoke up when I was walking through the doorway.
"If you want me to trust you there's one thing you should know." My stomach dropped his voice was slow with warning. He couldn't see my face but I stopped and closed my eyes tightly trying to keep myself from shaking. "I don't like liars."
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