Ezra was lying Spencer's bed, his head against the pillows as he looked down at the rubik's cube resting on his chest as if staring at it that would solve it. The tensions were running high in his house, and after the night before and he couldn't bare to look at his father. After he had gotten home from school he had packed his bag and came to Spencer's house, asking his best friends mother if he could stay with them for a while. After pulling him in for a hug she agreed, telling him he was always welcome and then explaining that Spencer was still at soccer practice and would be home in about an hour. Ezra had know this, since up until a day ago, he had practice at this time too, but merely nodded and went to relax in his best friend's bedroom.

Ezra's feelings towards his father were the same as those towards Adrian at this time. The second the boy had walked into language arts that morning their eyes had met, and then Ezra had to look away. He was embarrassed about how he had acted, how angry he had gotten over something that wasn't Adrian's fault but Caleb's. Guilt made him look away from the face of the beautiful boy he loved.

He loved he loved he loved.

He had to fix this.

Without really thinking, Ezra reached into his pocket, pulling out his cellphone and dialing Adrian's phone number. It rang for what felt like a long time, so long that Ezra wondered if Adrian was just ignoring him. And then the boy answered.

"Ezra?" It was spoken softly and Ezra closed his eyes at the sound of the beautiful voice, sitting up in Spencer's bed. "What are you calling me? Do you need something?" A stabbing pain pierced Ezra's chest and he swallowed heavily.

"I can't call you just because I want to?" he asked, remembering all of the times he had done just that. He missed the sound of Adrian's laugh on the other end and would do anything at the moment to hear it.

"Not anymore, Ezra".

"Adri," Ezra began, listening as the other's breath caught at the sound of his nickname, "forgive me. Please". There was sniffling on the other end and after a horrible moment Ezra realized Adrian was crying. "Baby?"

"No," Adrian said suddenly, his voice confident, "no, Ezra. No". Ezra was sure he was crying now, his voice shaky and Ezra felt his own eyes fill with tears. "You can't just... just apologize and expect everything to be fine, Ezra. That's not how this works".

"Adri, I love y-"

"No," Adrian cut in, full out sobbing now and Ezra's heart squeezed. "You don't. Don't lie to me".

"I'm not lyin-"

"You broke my heart, Ezra," Adrian cried and Ezra made a choking sound. "You did. You broke my heart. If you loved me, you wouldn't have done this to me". Ezra closed his eyes to keep from crying at the sound of Adrian doing so. "You don't understand how I feel about you, Ezra. You don't understand what it feels like to be in love. I would never do this to you. I wouldn't even consider hurting you like you hurt me. You made me feel special, and happy for once in my life, and then you took it all away without an explanation and you broke my heart and now I can't trust you with it ever again". Adrian paused, inhaling and exhaling heavily as he tried to control his breaths. "You have ruined me, Ezra Drake".

"Adrian".

And then he said the worst thing Ezra thought he could ever hear. "I was better off without you," Adrian sobbed and Ezra lost it.

"Please don't say that, Adrian," he begged, and he knew he sounded pathetic but he didn't care as he cried. "I love you. I do, I swear I do. I just made a mistake, baby. Please".

Adrian hiccuped, seeming pulling himself together as Ezra fell apart. "Goodbye, Ezra". The line dropped and Ezra dropped his phone from his ear, furiously rubbing the tears off of his cheek. He had finally found someone who made him happy and he had ruined it in such a short time.

Ezra had been looking for years. All of his friends thought he was having sex with girls just for the fun of it, but in reality, he wanted to feel something for at least one of them. He had pretended to before, hoping that that would turn into something real, but it never had, not until now. Not until Adrian.

Ezra stared blankly at the wall ahead of him, his tears drying on his face as time passed.

This is how Spencer and Liam found him about an hour later.

Of course, they were kissing when they pushed through the door, but that quickly stopped when they notice Ezra.

"Uhh," Liam said, his cheeks flushing as he directed his attention to the ceiling, his hand rubbing the back of his neck.

"Well you think my mom would have told me you were here," Spence said, laughing weakly, and then growing incredibly serious as Ezra didn't laugh along with him. "What's wrong, Ezra?"

"Are you angry with me?" he asked softly, directing his eyes down to Spencer's sheets. "I know I fucked up yesterday at the game, and I probably shouldn't have quit because now my father can't even look at me, but I just... Caleb kept talking to me, right in my ear about all the things he did to Adrian and all the things he wanted to do. All I could think about was him touching him and it made me mad and I couldn't help myself Spence. God," Ezra rolled his eyes up to the ceiling, "I just wanted to kill him".

"Um," Liam said, drawing Ezra's attention to him, "Adrian Vang?" Ezra just looked at him and it seemed to make Liam uncomfortable because he looked away quickly and shifted uncomfortably on his feet.

"Would you stop doing that," Spencer said, absently wrapping an arm around the waist of the nervous boy and Ezra looked at his best friend now.

"You didn't tell him?" He asked and Spencer shook his head.

"Why would I? It was your secret, not mine".

"Tell me what?" Liam asked and in response Ezra threw the rubik's cube at him. It was Spencer who reached out quickly and caught it, handing it to his boyfriend without looking at him.

"If you can solve that I'll tell you anything you want," Ezra said and Liam suddenly grinned. He was a very plain looking boy, with brown hair and brown eyes, but at that moment, as he smiled, Ezra instantly saw the appeal that his best friend saw in the other.

Liam didn't notice Ezra noticing, already busy fussing over the rubik's cube, but Spencer did and snapped his fingers to get his best friends attention, giving him a pointed look. Ezra grumbled under his breath, rolling his eyes and looking down at his phone, which had fallen in his lap.

A moment later the rubik's cube was thrown into his lap, now completely color coded, and Ezra looked up as Liam pulled Spencer's desk chair over to the side of the bed and sat in it. "You know," Ezra began, "I always wondered why Spencer had one of those but never had any interest in solving it". Liam's skin flushed red.

"I'm good at puzzles," he admitted, looking embarrassed as he looked up at Spencer, who grinned at him before crossing the room. Ezra watched as Liam stood from the desk chair and Spencer took his place before pulling the other back again, this time seating him in his lap. Liam looked pleased and then directed his attention back to Ezra. "So you're bisexual? Like Spencer?"

Ezra raised his eyebrows. "You're bisexual?" He asked his best friend, who huffed.

"Answer the question, Ezra," Spencer groaned, pressing his face into the back of Liam's neck and blowing on the skin there.

"Why would you assume I'm bisexual?" Ezra asked Liam.

"Well," the boy said, shifting in Spencer's lap for a moment and causing his boyfriend to make a noise that Ezra really hoped he would forget. Liam elbowed Spencer in response. "You've obviously had sex with women before. I mean, everyone knows that. And now apparently there's something going on between you and Adrian?"

"I'm not bisexual," Ezra said confidently. Liam looked confused.

"There's nothing between you and Adrian?"

Ezra sighed. "There is," he said softly. "I mean, I'm not attracted to women. At all". Liam raised his eyebrows and Spencer looked confused.

"What do you mean you're not attracted to women?" he asked, placing his chin on Liam's shoulder so he could address his best friend. "You've dated women before. You've had sex with women before. How could you get it up if you weren't attracted to them?"

Ezra rolled his eyes. "Well, they got mad at me because I kept my eyes closed the entire time. If you just focus on the feeling, it's not that hard".

"While this is a great conversation," Liam interrupted, "I'd prefer that we address whatever happened between you and Adrian".

"Do you know him?" Ezra asked, and then realized it was a stupid question because literally everyone knew Adrian. "I mean-"

"Liam's smart," Spencer said, "he's in cupcake's math and science classes".

Liam rolled his brown eyes. "I'm not all that smart. I'm a senior and he's a sophomore. It's not really impressive to say that I'm in the same classes as him".

"Well I'm not," Spencer argued and Liam cracked a small smile at this.

"I'm also in band with him," Liam claimed.

"What do you play?" It was an unnecessary question and off topic, but for Spencer's sake, Ezra would try to get to know his boy that his best friend was so deeply in love with.

"Clarinet," Spencer answered for him, wrapping his arms around Liam's waist and the boy rolled his eyes.

For a moment, Ezra wanted to ask because you play the clarinet, are you good at giving blowjobs? But he wasn't in a joking mood at the moment.

"He asked me, not you".

"Sorry, babe. You just make it so easy to brag about you," Spencer claimed, kissing Liam's cheeks and Ezra averted his eyes, missing his boyfriend, well, ex boyfriend (but whose fault was that).

"So Ezra," Liam said, his eyes flashing with a happiness that Ezra longed to feel. "Why don't you tell me from the beginning".

And he did, immediately trusting this boy, because he obviously cared for his best friend and wouldn't do anything to hurt Ezra since it would also hurt Spencer. He told him about hating Adrian for so long, and then getting him alone and turning the hatred into desire and taking him right there on his couch. Liam listened as Ezra told him about his conflicts at the beginning of their relationship, Ezra changing his mind back and forth before he saw the positive impact Adrian had on his life. A surprised laugh was drawn from Ezra as Liam wrinkled his nose as the day in the bandroom was described to him, that day that Adrian had agreed to go on a date with him.

Everything was explained, leaving nothing out, not even skinny dipping in the lake out by the park. He told them everything.

And by the end, he felt hopeless again, remembering all he had done to hurt Adrian. "Maybe he's right. Maybe he'd be better without me".

"Ez-" Spencer began, but Liam interrupted his boyfriend.

"I don't think anyones better off without someone who loves them as much as you love him," he said quietly and Ezra just looked at him for a long moment.

"You think so?" Ezra asked, his voice very low and Liam nodded. Ezra sighed. "But I can't get him back. He doesn't want me anymore".

"That's not true," Liam said. "He's hurt, sure, but he'll forgive you. You just have to show him that you care". Liam sounded so sure and Ezra raised his eyebrows.

"How do you know this?" he asked and Liam looked amused as Spencer looked sheepish.

"It's kind of how we got back together," Spencer explained, looking at the boy in his arms wit a small smile. "You see, Liam here is like, a crazy good ping pong player- I know, it's like, super dorky- ouch," he said, laughing as Liam elbowed him again. "Anyways, It's really important to him. We broke up about a month before he had this big tournament and I showed up because I knew it was important to him and gave him my support. Then we talked and got back together". Ezra nodded slowly.

"When was this?" he asked.

"Last month," Liam said, biting his lip as he grasped Spencer's hand tightly as if he was afraid to let go. "Ezra".

Spencer and Ezra shared a quick look at the boy's outburst. "What?" Ezra asked slowly, glancing nervously at the boy who was just staring at him with wide brown eyes.

"What is the most important thing to Adrian that he spends all of his time doing?" Liam asked. Ezra furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. Liam was looking at him expectantly as if he should know it, but Ezra had no idea. "Ezra".

It only took a second then. "Oh!"

"What is it?" Spencer asked, but he was ignored.

"When is it?" Ezra asked and Liam bit his lip.

"Next week sometime, I'm pretty sure, but you'll have to find out the exact time from someone else". Ezra knew exactly who would know.

"You guys," Spencer demanded, "would someone please explain what's going on?"

***

The day before, Ezra had skipped lunch, afraid that he wouldn't have a place to sit away from his team, but that problem was solved by thursday as Spencer lead him into the lunchroom and immediately moved to the table that Liam was sitting at. There were other people around him, but the only person he seemed to be talking to was one other boy with was sitting next to him and flailing his arms enthusiastically.

Spencer sat on the other side of Liam while Ezra rounded the table and sat across from them so he could subtly watch Adrian's table, which was empty at the moment.

The boy sitting next to Liam, who, Ezra realized from this close, had stunning eyes that were so blue they were almost purple, was complaining about something. Correction. After listening for a minute longer, Ezra discovered it wasn't something but someone. "-and I was just like, why wont you fuck me yet, and he just rolled his eyes and walked away. I mean, what kind of an answer is that? And I can't see him again until next weekend".

Liam looked extremely annoyed and rolled his eyes, shaking his head. He first greeted Spencer, and turned to Ezra, catching his questioning glances at the other boy at the table. "He's a freshman. He says he has other friends and they're just not in this lunch but I don't believe him". The small boy pouted.

"I told you-"

"Ashley," Liam said, sounded exacerbated and the freshman looked upset with this name as he directed his attention to Ezra.

"It's Ash," he said, offering Ezra a hand to shake, which he just looked at but didn't except. "Fine," he boy huffed. He then leaned across the table, getting extremely close to Ezra's face. "Are your eyes green or blue?" Ash asked, leaning towards his face and Ezra blinked, "I can't tell".

"Do you think I can see my own eyes right now?" He asked and the boy looked annoyed.

"Don't you know what color your eyes are?"

"My guess is as good as yours," Ezra grumbled, directing his attention passed the kid and to Adrian's usual table, where Helen was sitting by herself. "Alright guys".

Both Liam and Spencer turned to look, and then turned back to him. "She scares me," Spencer admitted and Liam grinned at his boyfriend as Ezra stood from his seat and slowly made his way over to the table, fiddling with his hands and ignoring all of his old friends as they turned to look at him as he passed. Since Tuesday night, none of the team, with the exception of Landon and (of course) Spencer, had spoken to him.

Helen looked up and scowled as Ezra dropped down into the chair across from her. "Go away".

"I will," he said, but made no motion to. Her eyebrows raised. "As soon as you tell me the date and time that Adrian has state".

"Fuck no," she snapped, pushing back her chair and Ezra quickly reached out and grabbed her wrist, keeping her for leaving.

"Helen, please," he begged. "I love him and I never wanted to hurt him. I had to deal with homophobia for the first time ever and I panicked and ended it with him, but I've been miserable ever since. Please give me the chance to make it right. I know you hate me, and if it were up to you, I'd never speak to Adrian again, but it isn't up to you. Please. Let me talk to him and then if he doesn't want to see me anymore I'll give up and leave him alone. I promise". Helen wasn't looking down at him, and her expression was stone, but Ezra could see the effect he had as she swallowed heavily.

When she tried to puller her wrist away, he let her. "It's next wednesday and 6:30 at night in the auditorium of the university of Florida". She didn't even look at him as she spoke, but she must have noticed the smile that spread across his face as she did, because her lips twitched. "Good luck, Ezra Drake".

He accepted this, but hoped he didn't need it.