When was the last time I laughed this much?

Never. The answer was quite simply never.

Someone put Beau Martin into my life to make me smile again; I was so sure of it. Maybe I had Bren to thank for that, or maybe it was someone else. It didn't matter who, but all of the alcohol coursing through my body allowed me to revel in this moment without thinking about how I wouldn't get to keep him.

I wanted to keep him.

Golden retriever energy combined with that sneaky little twinkle in his eye promising a few secrets, a few moments of rebellion and delight—it didn't exist anywhere but in this guy.

"Now where the hell did you get champagne?" I asked, giggling ridiculously when he poured me the tiniest of glasses. If he thought I hadn't realized that he'd been slowly cutting me off, he was dead wrong.

Mischief danced in his grin. "Don't you worry 'bout it."

I wasn't worried. I wasn't worried about anything right now.

We clinked our glasses together, and bubbles cascaded down my throat. When I set down the champagne flute, Beau cleared his throat.

"Does the pretty lady dance?"

Laughing, I ignored how my face flushed. Hot. Prickly. "She does when she's got drinks in her."

Beau seemed pleased with my answer. His lips curved as he unbuttoned his suit jacket and then held out his hand. Without hesitation, I took it, wrapping my fingers around his for the first time.

__

Beau entered the apartment like a storm, slamming the door behind him and throwing the keys down on the table. Tension rolled off of him in waves, but he stopped short at seeing his two roommates sitting in the living room, staring at him.

Nessa was the first one to break the silence.

"We're having a roommate meeting."

"Now?"

He looked pained by the idea.

"Now," Nessa insisted. "We've been waiting for you to come back."

Beau's lips thinned, but Nessa didn't let up.

"Where were you?"

Faking a nonchalance we could all definitely see through, Beau leaned against the double-wide door frame that led from the kitchen to the living room.

"Nowhere. Out."

And then, because it was obvious he didn't want to be around us, or more likely, me, he started to take off down the hallway. But Nessa was quick to stop him.

"Wait!"

Beau turned back around slowly, dragging a hand down his face. "What's up, Nessie?"

His obvious irritation combined with the soft, sweet way he said Nessa's name got to me. Something twisted in my stomach. Yeah, it definitely wasn't her that he was annoyed with. And I was suddenly entirely certain that if Nessa had been the only one sitting in this room when he got home, he wouldn't have thought twice about sitting down next to her with a smile.

Nessie. What I wouldn't give to be someone who Beau awarded a cute nickname.

But I lost that right when I pushed him away last year. I could have had a completely different relationship with Beau, but I'd turned it down so that I could keep his life free from the mess of mine.

Now we were here together anyway, though.

"The roommate meeting, Beau." Nessa's eyebrows pulled together. "Literally just told you about it."

Beau's eyes flicked from Nessa to me to the ceiling. Poor guy. Was he hoping we would just go away if he ignored it the first time? Part of me wanted to tell Nessa to forget it so he wouldn't be forced to spend time with me, but I couldn't get the words out. Not to mention, I was a little curious why she wanted us all to meet.

With a huge sigh, Beau walked back into the living room and plopped down on the opposite side of the couch I was sitting on. As far as possible from me.

"What's on the agenda, ladies?"

He said it in that cheery, vibrant voice of his, but I didn't believe it for a minute. Beau Martin might be able to trick everyone else into believing that he was happy all the time, but I knew the truth. That was my magic, wasn't it? Seeing pain.

I'd definitely seen enough of it in my lifetime.

"Just thought since we've had a few months of blissful living, we might want to add a couple more things to our list of ground rules."

"Is that really necessary?" Beau shrugged. "Like you said, it's been pretty blissful. I think our simple rules have done us a solid." He cleared his voice. "Mandatory Taco Tuesday, a 24-hour limit for dishes in the sink, no hot water whores...what else do we really need?"

"Well." Nessa tucked her legs up in the oversized armchair, careful to bend her knees to the side since she was wearing a skirt. She plucked at her tights, adjusting them unnecessarily. "I think it's time to get something out in the open."

I froze.

Beau froze, too.

No...she wouldn't do this to us, would she? We weren't about to go there...were we?

Nessa, eyes downcast and not focused on anything but her legs, was oblivious to it.

"So let's talk about sex."

Oh, Wednesday. I thought I liked you.

Beau choked on air. "Sex?"

She wasn't deterred. "Mostly, I wanted to hold myself accountable."

"Wait, what?"

I bit down on my lip immediately, wishing she hadn't caught me clearly thinking about something different.

Nessa looked up. Her eyes hooked on mine for a split second, and yep, she had to hide a knowing smile before clearing her voice. "Well, yeah. I figured we should all be on the same page when it comes to visitors of the...overnight variety."

Beau cleared his throat. "You're the one with visitors, Nessa. Well, just one."

"I know." She sighed dramatically. "That's why I'm bringing it up. Because I know you guys aren't going to. You're both too polite."

Definitely not the only reason we don't bring up sex, Nessa.

"Well, I wouldn't go that far," I said. "Nessa, I would mention it if something was bothering me. I'm easygoing, but I'm not that much of a doormat."

She laughed. "Okay, good. Because I'd like to have Grayson stay over more—our place is way quieter than his—but I don't want to if that will annoy you guys, having him here all the time."

"It won't annoy me," I said with a small smile so she knew I meant it. Grayson always went out of his way to show me little bits of kindness, and I honestly had nothing bad to say about him. Except maybe that he tried to bring pasta to Taco Tuesdays one night.

A chuckle slipped out of Beau. "I've got earplugs; it's fine."

Nessa threw a pillow at him. "Shut up. We're not that loud."

They weren't. At least, I couldn't hear anything in my bedroom, which was right across the hall from Beau's. His bedroom, on the other hand, shared a wall with Nessa's.

Beau raised a brow, his eyes skirting away. "It's okay, Wednesday. Your praise kink is safe with me."

Nessa's mouth dropped open before she looked around, searching for something else to throw at him.

"Beau!"

"Oh, relax." He laughed, but his eyes darkened. Just a little bit. And then they trailed over to me, making something clench inside me. "A lot of girls like that. Certainly not just you."

Oh, God. Don't you dare, Beau Martin. Is this payback for calling you motherly this morning? I didn't mean it. Not really, I—

The front door kicked open, and Nessa's boyfriend took the timely moment to walk into our apartment. Beau's eyes left mine, and a cold wave washed over me from their sudden absence.

"There he is!" Beau leaned back, arms spreading wide. "The man of the hour."

Grayson looked around the room, head cocking to the side. "What's up?"

His eyes stopped on his girlfriend, and he grinned slightly, taking in her red cheeks.

"Nothing," Nessa snapped. "Absolutely nothing. Can you go...I don't know, wait in my room or something?"

Grayson's hands slipped into his pockets. He didn't move. "I feel like if I do that, I'll miss out on something."

"Nah." Beau waved the thought away. "I mean, we were about to rate your dirty talk on a scale of zero to five, but it can wait for another day."

Not a single thread of embarrassment weaved onto Grayson's face. Biting down on a smile, I watched as he appeared equally amused.

"Don't hold back on my account." His steely eyes trailed over to Nessa, taking her in. "Let's hear your take, darling."

Nessa rolled her eyes, exasperated. "No. We're having a roommate meeting, and you're not a roommate."

Beau, a Cheshire-cat grin on his face, answered before Grayson could. "I mean...he's pretty darn close to being one, don't you think? That was kind of the point of this."

"No," Nessa repeated through gritted teeth, taking her heated gaze off her boyfriend to stare at Beau. "I don't think."

I could tell Beau wanted to say something else, but he shut up. He raked a hand through his hair, seeming legitimately more settled than when he came home earlier. And I couldn't help but smile. At all of it.

Grayson appeared to realize it was time to stop pushing Nessa, too. With a little wink and a look that said we'll talk about this later, he strode off down the hallway. The door to Nessa's room clicked behind him.

At least until Nessa opened her mouth and said, "So, anyway. I think we should just make a rule that overnight guests are more than welcome, but as we are all co-inhabitants of this space, we should let each other know if anyone feels uncomfortable at any time by....guests."

"By guests," Beau repeated.

His humor was suddenly gone. And I felt a slight trembling in the pit of my stomach.

"Of the overnight variety," Nessa clarified.

He leaned forward onto his knees, stress overtaking his features.

"Maybe—" He stopped, massaging his jaw like he was irritated. "Maybe we should just limit overnight guests to those we all know. And are comfortable with. Like Grayson."

"Well..." As soon as Nessa opened her mouth, she paused. Her eyes skirted over to me, unsure what to say. "I don't know...that might be—"

"It's fine," I cut in, just wanting this conversation to be done. I had no desire to have guys, or honestly, anyone over. And I definitely liked that I wouldn't have to run into Beau's random hook-ups. "I'm okay with that, too."

Nessa didn't seem convinced, but she nodded.

"Okay, that settles that."

Beau visibly relaxed back into the couch.

"So...Grayson," he mused. "I'd maybe rate him a four. What do you think, Nessie?"

****

It was late—near midnight—when I pulled out my pencils.

It was almost November, and my first college semester had been tough. Like really tough. Three years had flown by since the last time I sat in a classroom, and I forgot how much I hated it. All the restlessness from all the sitting. For the love of God, I needed things to do with my hands. I needed to stay busy and productive and active.

It was no surprise, I supposed, that my Studio Art course was my favorite. The classes were long, and drawing wasn't exactly my forte, but at least I got to do some—

A garbled cry rose from my throat, interrupting my thoughts as I tripped over my sandals that I definitely wore today even though Beau told me not to. I watched my supplies spill everywhere before falling into the wall, barely managing to stay on both feet. And if that wasn't annoying enough, someone behind me cleared their throat.

Spinning around, I wobbled—again—and Beau quickly came to my rescue, his hands grabbing my hips.

"Steady now," he said with an easy smile. His touch burned through my t-shirt, and I momentarily forgot how to talk.

God, I missed that smile.

But then in a flash, it was gone. And so were his hands. He retreated back toward the door, leaning against the frame.

"Look, I know you said you don't want my help, but—"

I sighed, tired of him hating me. "I never said I didn't want your help, Beau. I said I didn't want your charity. There's a difference."

"Okay, point taken." He put his hands up in defeat before pointing to the mess on the floor. "So I can help you?"

I swallowed. Beau hadn't been in my room since the day I moved in. Ever since then, he'd been doing everything he could to ignore me. But I could admittedly use his help. This was definitely going to be the last time I bought a two-hundred-piece coloring pencil set.

Even more than his help, though, I wanted his company. It was likely sad, but I just wanted Beau Martin to like me.

"Come on in," I said, giving him a weak smile.

And then in he waltzed.

✨

oh, collins. beau definitely likes you!

fun fact: my senior year of college I lived with my best friend and three guys and it was honestly the best.

xoxo Amelie