got to my mouth, the more confident I became that she would ruin me by morning.

Her tongue on my skin, tracing my abs and all the other little divots on my body. I couldn't decide if I wanted to slow down time or speed it up, if I wanted to savor this or wish for more.

But then Collins wrapped her hand around the base of my cock and brought it to her mouth, teasing the tip a little as she dipped it between her wet lips. And I knew.

More. I needed more.

"Careful there, baby girl," I muttered, tossing one hand behind my head to prop it up. I wanted to make sure I could see her. "It's okay to take it slow."

Collins' eyes flicked up, and I saw the spark in them only a second before she sank her mouth over my length, taking me deep and not wasting a single goddamn second. Her eyes didn't leave mine, watching for my reaction, which was to swear beneath my breath and pull on my own hair.

Glory to God, what a fucking mouth.

I couldn't wait to return the favor and introduce her to mine.

__

We had an entire closet in the back of the house stocked with extra clothes. My mom always liked to have things on hand for guests and for our family, so we didn't have to pack anything when we came to the mountains to stay.

However, my plan was to conveniently forget about the closet and the extra swimsuits in it. That is, until Nessa started talking about the girls just wearing their underwear into the hot tub. Grayson's eyes immediately grew steelier than normal, my stomach dropped at the thought of having a visual representation of what Collins wore under her clothes every day, and then news of the secret closet slipped out of my mouth.

This was such a disaster.

Especially when I saw Bren and Grayson standing in the kitchen with towels and realized that they were coming, too.

"Guys, I don't think there's room for everyone."

Nessa frowned. "What do you mean?"

She tipped sideways, leaning on her boyfriend, who instinctively wrapped his arm around her shoulder. Apparently, while Collins and I had been out on the slopes, everyone else had made more than a few batches of my hot cocoa recipe. My spiked hot cocoa recipe.

I raked a hand through my hair, trying to ignore the fact that Collins had just walked into the living room wearing a towel.

"I mean, it isn't that big. The house is backed up to the mountain, so the deck is tiny. The hot tub was designed to fit snugly in the corner, and it's not going to fit six people."

Madie skipped toward the back window, peering out at the snowy deck. "Oh, we'll fit," she said before giggling.

Drunks, the lot of them. I knew for a fact that Madie couldn't even see the hot tub from where she was standing. It was hidden from the living room windows.

"Yeah, we'll fit," Grayson joined in. "The girls can just sit on our laps."

Great idea, football boy. Just make sure to cut off my dick first.

I glared at him. Of everyone in this room, I knew Grayson wasn't drunk. Which meant he was just a meddling piece of shit. His smirk gave him away, too, but I doubted anyone else noticed.

Before I could respond, Bren threw the back door open, and a gust of cold air slammed into the room. Squealing ensued, and I watched the girls rush outside, following Bren as they turned the corner toward the hot tub. Fantastic.

My gaze swung back to Grayson. He was striding to the open patio door like he owned the place, and his swagger irked me. Partly because I was envious of his confidence, to be honest. When Grayson had gone after Nessa, there hadn't been a single moment when he'd acted unsure if he was going to get the girl. And it took him a damn long time, but he definitely got her.

Sighing, I followed after him.

"The girls can just sit on our laps?" I muttered. "Really, piano man?"

Grayson tossed the towel over his shoulder and laughed, looking back at me. "I told you, Beau. I'm here for you, man."

"Here to kill me, maybe."

"Look." He paused by the doorway, and a few snowflakes drifted in. I shivered but waited to hear what he had to say nonetheless. "You gotta take advantage of these situations. Tonight is our last night here. Don't let it go to waste. Wrap an arm around her and make sure she knows what you want."

Advice from the confidence king. Nice, but he didn't understand the half of it.

"It's complicated."

His features softened a bit, that cockiness ebbing away. "How you guys look at each other isn't that complicated."

I groaned, undecided on how I felt that everyone could see the shit between us...whatever it was.

"You'll survive, man." Grayson clapped me on the back, and then with a little shove, I was out the door and into the snow.

****

I wasn't going to survive.

"Beau, I can squeeze in next to Bren and Madie," Collins whispered. "It's fine."

Collins pressed up tight next to Bren? Yeah, no.

"Just sit," I said, and it came out harsher than I'd intended it to. Trying to soften my tone, I added, "It's not a big deal."

Wrong. It was a very big deal.

I probably looked ridiculous getting into the hot tub because I did it with my eyes half-closed to avoid accidentally going into shock at the sight of Collins in a tiny bikini. But now she was lowering onto my lap, and this was a million times more torturous than when she'd fallen on top of me on the bunny hill.

I ain't no poet like Virgil, but I could be Dante's tour guide around hell at this point. Like hey, man. Greetings, Mr. Alighieri. Welcome to the eternal pits of damnation. I've been living here for about four months now, so let me show you around.

Collins positioned herself on my knee caps like she was afraid I had cooties, and for a second, I wondered if that was for the best. Maybe if we just acted like we were awkward middle schoolers, we'd get out of this night alive. But then Grayson's voice snuck into my brain, relaying his advice, and I jostled my knees a bit. She looked back with a start.

"We're here to relax, remember?" I said beneath my breath. "Relax."

Before Collins had a chance to argue, I circled an arm around her waist and pulled her back onto my lap. Properly onto my lap. Her back collided with my chest with a whoosh of water, and her legs split onto either side of my knees. But this left me with a face full of sweet-smelling curls and a view of little else, so I lifted one of her legs and swung it over next to the other one, twisting her until she sat sideways over my lap.

It felt automatic, an uncalculated, natural move, but Collins lifted her arm and put it behind my neck, snuggling into me even further. Like she was hanging on for dear life.

I definitely was.

I wondered if anyone else in this hot tub knew that song they taught in the fourth grade to learn all the states. Because that shit was rolling through my head on repeat. Nothing was sexy about geography, and that was exactly what I needed right now.

Alaaaaaabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado.

"Is this okay?" Collins asked, adjusting herself so that her breasts brushed against my chest and her breath against my cheek. And her ass...well, I didn't dare think about that.

Connecticut. Connecticut. Fuck, what comes after Connecticut?

Not trusting myself to speak, I nodded and looked over at the other couples, who were luckily lost in their own world. Madie and Nessa were playfully arguing about who was to blame in the great scone shortage of the century, aka a work crisis I had no clue about. Bren leaned back, staring up at the sky with a tiny smile as he kept an arm wrapped loosely around Madie, and Grayson watched the exchange between the girls with an amused expression.

Collins wiggled on my lap, trying to get comfortable, and I gritted my teeth.

Delaware. It's Delaware. Delaware comes after Connecticut.

"Sorry for my bony butt," Collins muttered, and I swallowed hard.

"It's not the least bit bony."

"Oh?" Mock haughtiness entered her tone. "So you're saying it's big."

Somewhere in my consciousness—between the states recitation—I realized that my hand was curving around her hip, palming as low as I dared so I could squeeze her side.

"I'm saying it's perfect. But for fuck's sake, can we please stop talking about it?"

She made a low humming noise in her throat that I found ridiculously hot. "So you're an ass guy, huh?"

I snorted. "You must have short-term memory, sweetheart."

Fuck, why couldn't I get myself to not say shit like that? Because we definitely would not be rehashing yesterday morning—how I'd explored her tits with my mouth—while she sat in my lap in a hot tub surrounded by our friends. No. No, we would not be doing that.

But for the record, I wasn't an ass guy. I wasn't a tits guy, either. I was just a Collins guy.

Staring up at the sky, I mimicked Bren's pose. Except he looked way more relaxed than me.

Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Idaho, Indiana.

"No, I remember everything, Beau," Collins breathed softly. I felt the words against my skin, and damn if that didn't make my heart lurch.

Fuck, you skipped over Illinois.

"So, are you a pro at snowboarding now?" With a crash, Nessa broke through our moment, giving me a reprieve from figuring out what to say to Collins.

A threadbare laugh left Collins' lips as she turned toward Nessa. Steam from the hot tub rose between us and everyone else, but it was still easy enough to see the clear curiosity and interest in their eyes.

"Definitely not. I didn't even make it down the rabbit hill on my own."

"Bunny hill," I corrected, muttering against her neck, my lips making contact with the smooth skin just below her ear.

Collins' breathing stuttered.

"I'm sure you were better than I would have been," Nessa said, encouraging Collins in a sweet sort of way. "Sports are..." She wrinkled her nose before checking back at Grayson, who chuckled.

"Careful there, Nessie," I said, looking between her and her boyfriend with a grin. In my arms, though, Collins stiffened, and my smile faltered.

"My goal for the next time we come here is to get Bren to ski with me," Madie said, which simultaneously pulled me back into the conversation and alerted Bren. He sat up straight in his seat, water splashing a bit over the sides.

The conversation descended into a debate of sorts. Madie vs. Bren in an episode of Will Bren Ever Put On A Ski. Madie vs. me in a rendition of Snowboarding Is Superior To Skiing. And then lastly, Madie vs. Grayson: Nessa Should Spend Spring Break Skiing With Madie.

"Lil Lenertz came out to fight tonight," I said with a laugh to eventually break the tension between Madie and literally everyone else. Luckily, they all laughed, too. Well, except for Collins. Tension corded through her body again, and she made a little noise in her throat.

And that was when it hit me.

"That's why you wanted me to call you Linney," I said beneath my breath with a dry laugh.

"What?"

"Everyone else has nicknames."

Collins was quiet for a moment, and then she confessed softly. "Well, yeah. I know I haven't been in your group for that long, but...I don't know." She shrugged, decidedly not meeting my gaze.

Fuck, she was cute. She just wanted to be included.

But she had no clue the names I'd call her if I could.

"Noted," I murmured, and Collins relaxed in my arms again.

Arguments or not, it made me happy that everyone wanted to come back to Mammoth Mountain at some point. This place was special to me, and having more people to share it with made me feel less...alone.

Now that the debates had unraveled into chatting and laughter, I realized that I'd stopped worrying about reciting states. I'd given into the feel of Collins. She sank into me, into the heat, the bubbles bursting up around us. I brushed my fingers across her skin beneath the water, playing with the band of her swimsuit bottoms. My thumb liked to flirt with dipping beneath the waistband, swiping downward in a caress.

It wasn't me. I had nothing to do with it, honestly. It was my thumb, that uncontrollable son a bitch. But this was why God gave us opposable thumbs, right? To hook them beneath roommates' swimsuits.

Collins didn't seem to mind, though. In fact, she tipped her forehead against mine, resting it there before starting to play with my hair, toying with whatever covered the back of my neck. And when I didn't object, she dove in further, raking her fingers lightly across my scalp in a soothing pattern. It felt so fucking good. I lost sight of any and all conversation that was happening on the other side of the hot tub, too in tune with our light touches.

My skin felt flushed. Feverish. My shoulders should be cold from the night air, but Collins was draped over them. And everything was perfect.

I tipped my head slightly, finding her ear to whisper in it. "I love when your hands are in my hair."

Collins slid her gaze downward, her eyes connecting with mine. "I wasn't lying when I said that I liked how you're growing it out."

"Makes it easy to tug on, huh?"

She bit down on her lip, and that was an admission if I'd ever seen one.

The grip she'd had on my head while I was between her legs yesterday...God fucking damn. No surprise why you like my long hair, baby girl.

"Beau," she admonished softly.

Yeah, yeah. I was supposed to behave myself; I knew that. But it wasn't like Collins had stopped playing with my hair, either.

"Where are you sore?" I asked, redirecting the conversation.

"Oh, I'm not that sore," she said, disregarding the concern. "I was just being overly dramatic before." Collins looked away after that, watching Nessa giggle at something Grayson said in her ear. The couples had started getting more...coupley, and I would bet money that they'd disappear within ten minutes.

"I don't think I would ever describe you as overdramatic."

She looked sharply back at me. "What does that mean?"

"I mean, it just isn't your personality. If anything, you downplay things. You don't want anyone to worry about you. But I do, Collins." I swallowed, feeling awfully bare about some of the things I was saying. "So tell me. Is it your legs?"

If possible, her eyes grew somewhat rounder. More doe-eyed. And then she confessed, "Yeah, my legs. Like I said, I think I need to start doing more squats."

Sure enough, Grayson and Nessa picked that moment to make a mad dash out of the hot tub. Not thirty seconds later, I heard Bren say, "Fuck it. Sorry guys, but we gotta go," before hoisting Madie up dramatically, who let out a squeal, and carrying her back toward the house. The patio door slammed behind them, and then it was just me and Collins and the whistling of the winter air, the whirring of the hot tub jets.

Finally, Collins broke the near-silence.

"Do you want to go in, too?"

I snorted. "And listen to them fuck? Yeah, no thanks."

Collins laughed lightly, but it was abruptly cut off when one of my hands squeezed her thigh.

"There?" I asked softly, digging my fingers into tight muscles in slow, massaging circles.

She groaned, tipping her head back to rest against my shoulder. I fought the urge to start reciting states again because that groan did shit to me. But I wanted to stay present, stay focused on her. Because she deserved that much, at least.

I worked my way up one leg before switching to the other, and I couldn't help but notice how Collins inched her thighs apart. Maybe it was all in my head, but it seemed like she was giving me permission to keep going when I reached her bikini line, and that....that idea was going to cause problems.

"That feel good?"

Collins rotated her head. I felt it more than I saw it. Her lips brushed against my ear, and when she spoke, it was in a husky and sinfully perfect way. "It always feels good when you touch me."

"I know I said I wouldn't," I muttered, trying to keep my shit together, "but this doesn't count. It's purely therapeutic."

"Mmm," Collins moaned in agreement. I felt the vibrations push past her lips, buzzing against my skin in a way that lit my entire body on fire. I was sweating, and it wasn't just from the hot tub. It was like the cold mountain air couldn't reach us; we were in our own bubble, and it was fucking steamy in here. So I gave in, letting my finger trail along her bikini line, knowing full well there wasn't a damn thing therapeutic about that.

"What about you?" Collins breathed, giving a short tug on my hair to get my attention. Fuck, that was a turn-on. "You surviving okay after the number of times I fell on you?"

"I'm barely surviving, Collins," I rasped, "but it has nothing to do with you falling on me."

Falling for you? Maybe.

"What does it have to do with?"

Collins asked the question coyly, twisting entirely around until she straddled my lap. My hands settled low on her hips, barely ghosting her skin beneath the water. Mostly I was afraid that if I stopped touching her, she would disappear. But that didn't seem to be on her mind at all.

"Oh, I don't know." For the first time since she sat down in the hot tub, I let my gaze drag down over her body, lingering more than necessary on her cleavage in that tight little top, which was bright red and disastrous for my sanity. And my cock, which twitched. I let my grip stray lower, curving down over her bikini bottoms. "Maybe it has something to do with your bony ass."

A mock gasp slipped through her lips, and she readjusted herself on my lap dramatically, grinding her ass down in payback.

Well, okay. I supposed I needed to take back what I said about Collins not acting over the top. Because this was definitely that. And the friction she was causing against my dick was about to create an over-the-top erection, too.

"It might be bony, but I think you secretly like it," she whispered playfully, and that was when I lost it.

"It's not a fucking secret," I grunted before palming her ass and jerking her snugly into my lap so she could feel how hard I was between her legs. "Does this feel like a secret to you?"

"No," Collins groaned, making it feel like the hot tub was suddenly past the point of boiling. She let her head fall back, her lips parted, and I realized I was so fucked.

Not a happy medium, Beau. This is nowhere close to being a happy medium.