I waited for Beau's footsteps to disappear down the hallway before I let myself curl back beneath the covers. I pulled them all the way over my head, disappearing into the darkness. It felt safe here, but that relief was only temporary. Until my mind took over.

It didn't take long for my pillow to grow wet with tears.

They were tears for a life I wanted but couldn't have. Tears for a night I wanted to relive. But mostly they were tears for Beau.

I hated hurting people, and something told me that I'd just hurt the kindest, purest soul in the whole world.

Maybe one day I would get to make it up to Beau Martin for the way I just treated him. But for today, I needed to remind myself of my reality again.

Girls with vehicular homicide charges hanging over their heads didn't get to believe in fairytales.

And guys like Beau Martin deserved happily ever afters.

__

"So, how was your morning yesterday?" Nessa asked, sending me a wink as I sat, cold brew in hand.

The Grounds was one of my favorite places near campus, which was good since we spent so much time here. The comfort was in the exposed brick and worn couches, with rips and tears that let you sink further into the cushions. Plus, they made damn good coffee.

When I didn't respond because I was too busy choking on my own tongue, Nessa had mercy on me and moved to an equally challenging question.

"Tell me about Boyfriend Beau," she said, leaning on the table and putting her face in both hands.

"Oh, yes." Madie mimicked Nessa's position. "I want to know, too."

"He's just Beau," I said with a shrug. But I couldn't keep a straight face, and Nessa rolled her eyes while Madie shook her head.

"That's such bullshit," Nessa said. "You know a Beau that neither of us even recognize." She wiggled a finger between her and Madie.

Nessa had a point.

"I guess...I guess I don't think I've ever really known the Beau that you two know. When I met him, we were strangers on a date. And then we basically stayed strangers until we couldn't bear the cold shoulders anymore." I sighed, knowing my next words would open a can of worms but wanting to say them anyway. "We both knew what it could be like between us, and that was hard to resist."

"What it could be like, huh?" Nessa's lips curved. "He told us that he gave you one kiss that night. One little goodnight kiss."

I laughed. I couldn't help it. Comparing one kiss with what actually happened was like comparing a short movie trailer with an entire franchise series. The full experience had nothing on it.

"I knew it," Madie said, joining in my laughter. "It wasn't just a kiss."

"It was a lot more than a kiss," I confessed. Wow, that felt good to say out loud. Lowering my voice, I went on. "And it was really, really good."

"So...what happened?" Madie's tone was less of a search for juicy details and more of gentle wondering, telling me that she wanted to know what happened after. Not during. Which was good, because I wouldn't be saying any more about what happened during.

My face is yours to fuck, sweetheart.

I want to live between your legs.

How many fingers do you want in this little pussy?

I had to swallow the lump in my throat and cross my legs to soothe the ache I suddenly felt. I wished Beau would come back from his competition tonight instead of tomorrow. "I had some...baggage, and I just wasn't ready for anything more."

And then, with truly impeccable timing, the deep, overly sure voice of Denver Bailey interrupted us.

"Collins."

I hated that I jumped a little at the suddenness of it, and when I looked up, his sturdy frame towered over me. I instantly felt trapped. Dread trickled all the way to my toes, and several beats passed before I found my voice.

"What are you doing here, Denver?"

He flinched slightly at my abrasiveness. "You haven't been returning my calls or texts."

"For a reason."

His eyes flicked to Madie and Nessa, who curiously watched our interaction. They'd frozen when he walked up, and uncertainty etched in their gazes. Nessa looked about ready to sock Denver in the nose, and Madie teetered on the edge of having a fight or flight moment. God, the last thing I wanted was to bring this shit anywhere near them.

"Let's talk outside," I muttered.

Denver nodded, but Nessa and Madie sputtered protests as soon I began standing. And then a hand appeared on my shoulder.

"No." Bren's voice was icy. "Sit down, Collins."

I wasn't usually the type of person to let Bren Hadaway boss me around, especially considering I used to be his boss, but I really didn't want to go outside alone with Denver. So I sat.

"Denver," Bren said tersely, nodding at him across the table. Wearing his staple black hoodie, he crossed his arms over his chest.

Understanding washed over Denver's face. Or at least his version of an understanding.

"So that's how you ended up here," Denver said, cutting his eyes to me before looking back at Bren. "What's up, Hadaway?"

"Well, I work here," he said. "And I'm not sure if you're a welcome guest."

"Oh, fuck off," Denver said. With a dismissive flick of his hand, he ran fingers through his fluffy, blonde hair. But when neither Bren nor I had anything else to say on the topic, and he realized how unwelcome he was, Denver grew agitated. "You're really just gonna sit there, Collins? I was your best friend." He gestured wildly at Bren. "He was just some guy you fucked when you got bored."

He never got it. He never understood the time I spent at Directions or the relationship I had with Bren. He didn't understand any part of my grief until he experienced it himself, and then in a moment when we could have helped each other, he turned on me.

His eyes narrowed as they looked between Bren and me. "You still bored? That it? You got that rich guy and also Hadaway on the side?"

"No, Denver. That is not it," I said harshly, making to stand again and take this conversation outside. Madie shouldn't have to sit here and listen to accusations involving her boyfriend that weren't true. But Bren pressed me back down into my chair again.

If I weren't so busy being pissed at Denver, I would have yelled at him.

"You're making an ass out of yourself, Bailey," Bren snapped. "Leave."

"I need to talk to Collins."

Bren looked at me. "Do you want to talk to him?"

I shook my head. "I have nothing left to say to you, Denver. We've talked everything to death, and I need you to leave me alone. Leave Bren alone. Just leave."

"Talked everything to death, huh?" Denver rubbed his jaw, chuckling humorlessly. "Pretty sure the death part came first, didn't it?"

The words stung because there was an unmistakable hint of malice there. I heard it, loud and clear. And so did Bren.

"Watch what you're implying, Bailey."

Denver took a step toward Bren. "This isn't any of your business, Hadaway."

"You made it my business when you walked into where I fucking work."

I started to tune out their bickering, the voices of the cafe growing hazy, an underwater quality to them.

Denver did blame me, didn't he? That would explain why he lied to the police. It would explain why he wanted me to take the fall. Made him feel better, didn't it? To have someone to point the finger at.

Fingers wrapped around one of my hands, pulling me back into the moment. I found Madie watching me with those big, blue eyes filled with concern.

"I need a second," I said, and I sprung out of my seat before Bren could stop me, flying toward the back of the cafe where the bathroom was.

Right before I locked myself in the single stall, I heard Bren snap at Denver about following me, issuing a warning. Taking a deep breath, I walked over to the sink to splash water on my face, turning the temperature up as high as it would, bringing the heat back into my bones.

I should have just talked to him. Heard him out. Got it over with. But I hated bursting the happy bubble I'd been in lately.

I ran into Madie as soon as I walked cautiously out of the bathroom.

"Hey," she said, keeping her voice down and stopping me before I could make my way back to the table. "He's gone. Just so you know."

The relief...damn, there was a lot of it.

"Madie, I—" I felt the wobble in my bottom lip and paused, biting down on the urge to cry. "Madie, I'm so sorry about that. About all the things he said about Bren and me."

Blonde hair jostled around her shoulders as she shook her head. "Don't worry about it, Collins."

"No, I've always felt terrible." I needed her to hear this because even though I'd felt it and thought it, I'd never said it. "From that very first night when I showed up, and you were so upset—"

Madie didn't let me go on. "I was upset because Bren didn't tell me about you. I was shocked and...and jealous that you were spending time with him when I missed him so much. But I've never held any of that against you, and I'm happy that you're here this semester."

She took a step back, leaning against the other side of the hallway. "Do I wish that Bren didn't have a past with other girls?" She shrugged. "Sure. But he's mine now, and you've never shown any desire to threaten that."

"Never. I would never. He's so much happier now, Madie. He's so happy with you."

She would probably never truly know the extent of his happiness because she hadn't seen him at his lowest. And that was for the best. Madie deserved this version of Bren.

She smiled. "And you have Beau, of course."

"Yes. I do." I felt my cheeks grow hot. "And I wouldn't change that for the world."

"Good." She nodded. "Now...Bren thinks you should stay with us tonight, and I agree."

"Oh, I don't—"

"Really. I don't know the full story with that guy, but if he found you here, who isn't to say he'll just show up at your place later?"

He probably would show up at my place later. And it wasn't like Beau would be there to step in this time, either.

"Okay." I hated sleeping somewhere besides my own bed, but I hated repeatedly having the same conversation with Denver even more. "Is Nessa coming, too?"

"She's going to head to Grayson's tonight."

Probably for the best. I could handle Denver if I wanted to, but one interaction was enough for this weekend. Taking Madie's hand, I let her drag me back to the table, where we waited for Bren's shift to be over. And by the time we headed back to my place to grab a few things for the night, darkness had fallen.

Their apartment was cozy. A tad outdated and worn, but Madie and Bren added a few flares that made it feel like them. Bren's vinyls sat next to a stack of books and movies in a corner. A desk took up another corner of the living room, covered with journals and colorful pens, and I assumed that was a spot Madie called all her own. Their couch was comfortable enough, and Bren brought me a pile of blankets and pillows for when I was ready to make a bed for the night.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Bren asked once we'd settled in the living room. Madie was taking a shower before bed, and Bren had waited until she'd left to bring Denver back up. Which I appreciated—not because I didn't want to talk to Madie about it—but because I didn't feel like explaining the entire Bailey family story tonight.

"I don't know," I said. "He wants me to move back to Fresno. That's what he wants to talk about."

Bren's lips thinned. "Please tell me you're not considering that."

"I'm not considering that."

"Good," he grumbled, crossing his arms across his chest with a stony expression. "They fucking took over your life for too long."

"I'm trying really hard, Bren," I admitted quietly. "To not let them have that control back. But sometimes it feels like I'm on borrowed time."

"What's their problem anyway?"

"They need someone to blame, I suppose. It can't just be a tragedy. It has to be twisted into something profitable."

Bren thought about that for a long moment before abruptly shaking his head. "We need to get you a really fucking good lawyer and get rid of them once and for all. I'm tired of you living half a life."

"If only I had the funds for that," I said with a humorless laugh.

Bren's voice was dry when he replied. He picked at the seam of a throw pillow absentmindedly. "Yeah, too bad we don't know anyone with a shit ton of money."

"Bren..."

Absolutely not. No.

He threw his hands up in exasperation. "I'm just saying."

"If we bring Beau into it, he's going to be targeted. His family will be targeted. And they've been nothing but super kind to me."

"I get why you're concerned," Bren said, lowering his voice. "But if Beau brings it up, promise me that you'll at least talk it through with him. Give him and his family the option of deciding where they want to put their money. They have a lot of it."

I was more than aware, but I didn't think I could make that promise. I hadn't even met his mom yet, and while I knew she was likely the most generous woman on the planet, how could I ever request that of her?

"Collins," Bren said, flicking me in the arm when I didn't say more.

"Don't flick me, Hadaway."

"Don't ignore me."

"I'm thinking."

"You take care of everyone. You took care of me when I ended up back in Fresno last year, getting me a job I didn't deserve. You pushed me back to college. You took care of the kids, Reese and everyone else. I know you send money to your mom and Cameron when you can." He sighed. "Let other people take care of you. Let Beau take care of you. It's what he does best."

"It's not that easy."

"It is," he insisted. "What do you think would have happened if I'd refused when Beau offered me a wad of cash and the keys to his parent's beach house? What do you think would have happened to Madie if I'd let my pride get in the way of taking the help?"

"That's different, Bren." When he began shaking his head, I dropped my voice, not wanting Madie to overhear us. "She was being trailed by an abusive ex. She was in immediate danger. You can't tell me that's not different."

"It's different," Bren allowed. "But maybe not as much as you think it is."

"And it has nothing to do with pride," I said, backtracking to what he'd said before.

Bren shrugged in response, which irritated me because I could tell he didn't believe it. He let that point roll off his shoulders like it wasn't significant enough to argue because he knew I wouldn't let it go. Maybe that alone should have said something.

He was being unfair, though. And I would point out why.

"And when you were trying to free yourself from your past, what did you do, Bren? Did you let Madie help you, or did you drop out of school and leave her behind so she wasn't involved?"

He glared at me for a long moment. "You're annoying."

"I'm just saying," I said, mimicking him.

"Well, my way didn't exactly work out well for me." His voice grew strained, and I suddenly felt ashamed for using this point against him. For bringing up something that clearly pained him. "When people like Beau and Madie love you, there's no stopping them. You're better off as a team."

Madie walked into the living room while Bren's words echoed in my head. She turned on the TV as she curled up in the empty spot beneath Bren's arm, stretched across the top of the couch. He automatically wrapped his hand around her shoulder and kissed the top of her head, making my chest ache for Beau.

He'd be back tomorrow, but I wanted him to be back now.

I pulled out my phone.

I miss you.

Miss you too, baby girl. Had a shit day without you. I'll be home soon.

Is everything okay? How was your run?

Run could have been better. Something was off compared to the last competition.

What do you think it was?

Well, this time around I had cereal for breakfast instead of my girl's pussy. Probably had something to do with it.

Beau...

Just means that next time you gotta come with so I can start the day with the proper nutrition.

I don't know what to do with you.

I have some things in mind.

Tell me?

First, I want to know how your day was.

It was okay.

Okay, huh?

With a movie playing in the background, I started drifting off on the couch before I could reply, and I fell asleep without any thoughts of Denver or his asshole family. Just Beau and how I'd get to see him tomorrow.

But when he finally did walk in the door of our apartment the next day, it was with none of that goofy energy that I'd come to know and love.

He called my name with a sharp voice, and it made my heart race in a totally different kind of way.

✨

when you put bren and collins together,

it's a whole lot of stubbornness in one room.

thanks for reading!

xoxo