I couldn't sleep because of what I heard about Mew. Why did he do that?? Did Emily break up with him?? I looked at our luggage and I looked at my baby. I can't stop crying, I felt sorry for my child and I blame myself for that. I wish I didn't have this illness. Earlier Nana spoke to me, she showed me some pictures of me and asked if I remember those moments. I shook my head and tried to recollect them.. But I couldn't.. I was shocked when she continued showing the pictures.

My head started to hurt and my mind kept flashing some blurred scenes. Nana stopped me when she saw me in discomfort and she told me everything. My eyes were filled with tears and I couldn't even look at my baby. All this time, his (Ayaan's) so-called family was always by his side. The one that I was trying to find was myself. I tried to find Ayaan's biological mother but the truth is I am his biological mother. Should I call myself mother?? I can't even remember my son. I hate myself for that.

I caged Ayaan in my arms as if I don't want to let go of him. Even if I can't remember anything I can feel that he is my son.

"It's not important to remember everything right now. The important thing is, you know that he is from your blood.. You know that he is yours.. Take some time to remember everything. And don't blame yourself. God made all of this happen so he must have some good reason behind everything." Nana said and hugged me.

I took the albums and kept them in my bag. 'Mind can forget but heart.. Never!'

Anyways, I'm thankful to Nana for capturing such beautiful memories.

I looked at Ayaan who was sleeping next to me and kissed his forehead. "Thank you for coming into my life" I said and sleep took over me.

"Papa!!! Papa!!! Wakeyy wakeyy!!! It's already morning. Didn't you say that we are going to Thailand today??!! Papa pleaseeee WAKE... UP..."

I groaned... "Baby it's still early.. Our flight is in the afternoon." I said as I hugged him. "But Papa...." He whined. But then my sleep swept away. "What did you call me??" I asked and looked at him. "Papa.."

My eyes got teary... "Can you say it again??" I requested. "PAPA!!! PAPA!!! PAPA!!!" Ayaan said. I hugged and kissed him. "I love you baby." I said and I heard him giggle. "I Love You too Papa!!!" He said. My heart flattered. It's so good to be called Papa. I wonder what will Mew feel if he sees Ayaan??

Wait.. Mew?? Mom called me last night saying that Mew was in the hospital. My worries attacked again.

"Gulf, are you okay??" Nana asked. "I'm okay Nana.. I'm just nervous.." I said.

Ayaan is sleeping to the left of me while Nana is sitting to the right side of me and me in the middle. I looked at my baby. I don't know what will be their reaction when they see him (Ayaan) and also when they'll come to know about the baby growing inside me.

I closed my eyes. I just need to wait for a few more hours. We will arrive in Thailand after 19 hours. And I didn't know when I fell asleep.

"Nana.. Is it true that there's a baby inside me?" I asked. Nana smiled and said, "Yes Gulf.. You have your baby inside you.."

"But Nana.. Who.. Who is the father of my baby?" I asked. Nana halted and sighed.

"Come here" She said and dragged me to my room. Then she showed me a picture. "This is Mew Suppasit.. He is the one who you always talk about. You met him when you went to Thailand for a vacation. And.. He.. he is the father of your baby." She said and I was mesmerized by his look. At last I came to know what he looks like.

The time ran fast and I'm at the hospital crying in pain. After a while I heard a loud cry of a baby. I smiled and held him when the doctor gave the baby to me. "you're so cute.. from now on your name will be Ayaan.. Ayaan Kanawut. I can't wait to show you to your father" I said.

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"Gulf.... Gulf wake up... we are already here. Come on Gulf.. I called you so many times and you didn't wake up.. At least for now get up!" Nana woke me up. "Ohh did I oversleep? Sorry Nana..." I said. I looked at my baby who's still sleeping. "He woke up 4-5 times in the middle of the journey to have food and for washroom purposes.. I guess he's having jet lag so he has been sleeping almost all the time. Like Papa, like son!" I smiled as I took my bag and carried Ayaan in my other arm. He immediately hid his face in my neck. I smiled again.

I remember my dream. Is it just a dream or is it a part of my lost memory? I asked myself and walked out of the airplane.

"I already called Jay. He is the one who will fetch us." Nana said.

"Why Jay Nana.. And why not dad??" I asked. "I hate explaining here. If your dad is the one who will fetch us.. Then for sure he will interrogate us here." She said. "Ohhh I get it." I replied back.

We waited for a few minutes, then we heard a shout from behind us. "Gulf!!! Nana!!" Jay shouted and came towards us. "Welcome back Gulf.. It's been a long time hahaha" He joked. "Silly" I said and smiled.

"Ohhhh Nana.. I missed you!!" He said. "Ouch.. Nana, you're hitting your favorite grandson!!!" Jay whined.

"You idiot! Why did you run away from your parents? Did you know that your other grandma blamed me for your rebellious act huh!!?" Nana said while hitting Jay. "Awww Aww aww.. Nana... It hurts.. And why did they blame you? It was me who ran away from that house. They are so irritating. They always try to control my life. They didn't do anything but compare me with my other cousins." He pouted.

I shook my head. It's true Mom's side is very prim and proper. They always want their family to be at the top. I'm not shocked that Jay really wanted to stay with Nana.

"Papa?? Did we reach Thailand??" Ayaan asked while rubbing his eyes. He looked around and said, "Ohhh uncle Jay is here!? Wazzup uncle" He made a fist bomb with Jay. "Ohhh my little devil is already up. Wassup lil devil" Jay said and took Ayaan from me. "So you know now, huh?!" He asked as he looked at me. "You knew it from the very start?" I asked back.

He smiled and nodded. "Of course I know.. I have been always by your side when you were pregnant and also when you gave birth to this little devil!" He said and pinched Ayaan's cheek. "By the way, let's go.. For sure Aunt must have already reached home." He said.

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As we reached my house, I let Ayaan stand on his feet and he clutched my wrist and hid behind me. He is like this if he is new to his surroundings.

We rang the doorbell and waited for it to be opened.

"Papa.... carry me please" He pouted, raising his cute little arms towards me. "Ohh.. my baby asking to be carried huh.??" I said and carried him. Jay looked at me. "Hehe.. You look cute together!" I was about to hit him when he hid behind Nana.

"Gulf??? Mama??" A voice spoke as the door opened. "Mom...." I smiled and hugged her. She hugged me in return. Once she let go off me, "Wait, who's this cute little guy here??" She asked but Ayaan hid his face on my neck. I giggled. "Ayaan.. don't be shy... she is my mom and your Nana." I said. I saw my Mom getting shocked after hearing what I said. She looked at Nana to get confirmation.

"H- He....." She was very shocked. But Nana just nodded and pointed towards the inside of the house. "Ohhhh yeah.. come in" My mom said.

We entered the house and we were welcomed by P'Tharn and Type who were running in the living room. "Ehemmmm!!!!!!" Nana made a noise which made them suddenly stop and look at us with wide eyes. "Gulf!!!!" Type was about to attack me with the cushion pillows. This was the scene Ayaan saw when he raised his head from my neck and looked around. "Are you going to hurt my Papa?" Ayaan asked, raising his eyebrows. "Yes and who are you?? Why are you calling him Papa??" Type asked as he also raised his eyebrow and crossed his arms on his chest.

"I'm his son. and who are you Mr??" I looked at my baby and I saw him glaring at Type. "I'm his brother.." Type said. Ayaan looked at him from head to toe. "Okay... Hii Uncle Grumpy.." Ayaan said.

Everyone in the living room went silent except Jay and Nana, who were laughing. I shook my head and put my baby down. "Baby, greet your grandma and grandpa. And these are your uncles and she is your aunt." I said.

"Greetings grandma and grandpa. Hi uncles.. Hello beautiful aunt" He said and flashed his smile. "I'm Ayaan Kanawut, nice meeting you all..." he said.

"Awwwww how cuteeeeee!!!!" Everyone said and that made Ayaan run back to me and hide.

"Ayaan baby, who is your father??" My Dad asked. And everyone looked at my son. And I saw P'Tharn looking at him intensely.

"My father is Mew Suppasit." He said straightly and I saw their jaws dropping.

"MEW SUPPASIT!!!???" Everyone said together.

I sighed because I was the one who would have to explain everything but then Nana held my hand and Jay stood beside me. I looked at them and they just nodded. Nana started to tell the story. She told everything but she never spoke about my illness.

"YOU!!!! How could you hide this from us??" Type asked as he pointed at me. I looked down. "I- I- I was afraid at that time.. that you might separate us.. so we decided to hide it from everyone." I said as a tear escaped from my eyes.

"Gulf... Mew waited for you... Why didn't you call or atleast message him when you arrived there?" P'Tharn asked. My eyes widened and my heart started pumping faster. I was about to answer but Ayaan spoke before I could.

"Please don't ask my Papa anymore.. He is already looking uncomfortable.." He said as his eyes got filled with tears that were about to roll down.

"Shhh baby, why are you crying?" I asked. "Because they are asking you so many questions....." He said and pouted. I smiled and patted his head. "It's okay baby.. Papa is okay.." I said and looked back at them.

I sighed deeply and said. "I want to explain everything in front of Mew."

"About Mew. Uhmm.. he is at ***** hospital right now. He...." I didn't wait to hear the rest as I ran to the car and I didn't even know that Ayaan ran with me.

"GULF!!!" They shouted but I got in the car and rode off. My heart started to beat faster again and many thoughts were running in my head when I thought about Mew admitted in the hospital. And it was then I remembered about mom telling me about Mew commiting suicide. I managed to drive to the hospital as fast as I could. When we reached, I took Ayaan and rushed to the enquiry section. "Papa, where are we going?" He asked. "We are going to see your Daddy" I replied.

"Miss, may I know in which room is Mew Suppasit admitted." I asked the nurse.

"May I know who you are to the patient sir?" The nurse asked in return.

"I'm his.. Husband" I said.

"He is in room number 10 sir." she said. I sighed and went to room no: 10.

I entered the room and let go of Ayaan. I looked at the man lying on the bed. He has an IV connected to his hand, he still looks the same except for his body. He became thin and pale. I went closer to him. Ayaan also came closer to him on the other side and held his hand.

"Mew.. What happened to you??" I whispered as I held his hand and placed it on my face. I couldn't stop my tears from rolling down my cheeks when I felt his touch.

"Daddy.. Wake up.." Ayaan whispered and touched his father's face. I closed my eyes and silently prayed for my Mew.

"Gulf?!" My eyes widened as I looked at him. "Papa, he is awake!!" Ayaan said....

"Mew.." I said and wiped my eyes. Mew immediately sat up right and pulled me into a hug. "Gulf.. Is it really you?? You are here.. God!!!! I'm sorry Gulf..." He cried.

"Shhh stop crying.." I hugged him back and said.

"Yeahh stop crying.. You look like a baby... You even made my Papa's clothes dirty by your snot and tears." Ayaan said and pouted while crossing his hands. "You hugged each other and forgot about me hmpp" Ayaan said and I smiled.

"Who are you???"

To be continued...

(2280 words)

-Avi