Troian likes me. Troian liked me. Past-tense. I blew it. I started dating Chuck Grant to get over the fact that the one girl I loved would never be available. But by the time I heard there was trouble in paradise I was already falling for Chuck. I tell the hostess to cancel our reservations and walk out of the restaurant with my hands in my pockets.

I exhale slowly as I walk to my car. Stay calm, Keegan. I open the door and slam myself into the seat before shutting the door. Breathe, I tell myself. I inhale slowly and exhale at the same speed. I turn on the car and buckle my seatbelt before starting to back out of the parking spot as I see Troian.

I step out of the bathroom after calming myself and reapplying some makeup. "Hi can I cancel our reservations?" I ask the phone-obsessed hostess. "That guy you were with canceled them already. He seemed pretty upset you should go find him," she replies with no emotion whatsoever.

Oh my god. Keegan heard my conversation with Patrick.... I replay my parts in my head and internally face palm. He knows how I feel.

I rush to the parking lot and look at Keegan before running to his car, taking the risk of getting hurt. He pulls on the brakes and looks out the window to avoid eye contact. I open the passenger door and plop into the comfy chair, "Please just listen to me for one freaking minute."

He sighs and I start talking, "I'm guessing you heard the whole conversation, well at least my part. But please Keegan I don't want to ruin our friendship. You're one of my favorite people to talk to and I would never give up our connection for anything in the world. Yes I developed feelings for you but I'm reeling them back in because I realize that I'm ruining you're relationship, Chuck's relationship, and Patrick's life. Please call me later so we can talk more."

I see Patrick's car in the mirror and kiss Keegan on the cheek before opening the door. I step out and back onto the sidewalk. Keegan leaves the lot as Patrick pulls into the spot where Keegan's car used to be. I open the door and step into the car before turning to Patrick. "Listen....."

After a short drive to my apartment I sit in the car for a few minutes replaying my conversation with Troian. I text Chuck and text her, 'come over... it's important.' She replies with 'ok i'll be there in 10' and I sit in silence for a few minutes. I place my temples in my palms and close my eyes before fiercely opening them. I slam my hands against my steering wheel and feel a sharp pain shoot through them.

Groaning I lean back into my seat and slowly drift away.

~

I'm awakened by a knock on my window. I squint and all I see are motorcycle lights and something shiny and golden. I realize it's Chuck and pat the seat of my passenger chair. She nods the bright bundle of gold and disappears for a split second just to reappear on the other side. I unlock the door for her and she sits. I look at her simple white t-shirt with her staple black leather jacket and skinny jeans.

She is perfect for me, but I am so done ignoring these feelings inside of me.

That butterfly, bubbly feeling when I'm with Troian.

That excitement when Marlene writes a Spoby scene into the script.

And love, the love I feel with every last ounce of my heart for Troian Avery Bellisario.