Video Journal – The Researcher – Entry 1

The camera focuses on a man sitting at a desk. The room is smaller than a bedroom, containing little more than the desk, filing cabinet and at least one bookshelf. It is a gloomy dark with dust swirling in the artificial light. The desk is messy, covered in paper, text books, magazines, and coffee cups. The man is sitting on a swivel chair that is turned to point him at the camera, one arm resting on the paperwork on the desk, the other in his lap.

He is wearing khaki trousers, and old navy jumper with brown patches at the elbow and a 'V' neckline showing the collar of a red tartan button up shirt. There is a mark on the knitted jumper, the wool is pilling, and there is a caught thread near his shoulder pulled to form a loop tightening the row of stitches either side of it.

The man is in his early twenties. His large glasses dominate his face and the metal frames are not designer, instead they resemble the budget options. He pushes them up his nose. He is not unattractive. His hair is a dark brown, wavy and his fringe is long, falling onto his glasses. The style is either due for a trim, unfashionably mid-length, or he's trying to grow it out, as it's shaggy and lacking product or proper grooming. He is clean shaven, and his face is shiny to the camera but it's a perspiration gleam rather than an indication of oily skin. His features are well proportions and his teeth and nose are straight.

"Welcome," he adjusts his glasses again, "Now I'm talking to myself, literally. This is my journal to document my thoughts and reactions throughout the data collection period. The purpose of this is to record my observations of Subject-3's progression, my own reactions, and how her development changes our interactions and affects me."

"The thesis came about due to my theory that sexual awakening has changed," he looks down at the papers on the desk, "The modern woman is more in touch with her needs, expects more from her partner and is more inclined to experiment. I am surmising that this is due to desensitizing through movies, television, books, internet and all forms of communication. Women are being exposed to nudity, sexual imagery and seeing casual intercourse glamourized and this has made them believe that they are entitled to good sex and multiple orgasms."

"This study does not examine whether this belief is unrealistic or unfounded, merely that it is there," he shifted some papers then looked back to the camera, "My objective is to take an innocent girl who has no experience, no confidence and minimal sexual drive and expose her intercourse in the modern sense of the act. I will gauge her reactions as she loses her innocence and assess her appetite and the shifting dynamics between us as lovers."

"I hypothesis that she will develop from a shy naïve girl into a sexually charged woman who seeks to dominate intercourse as she actively uses the male body to satisfy her own needs with her lover's pleasure coming secondary to her own."

"I have chosen this testing method because only a true virgin has no preconceived ideas around men and the sexual act," he frowns, "An already sexually active woman is not objective in her views. She has been tainted by her prior experiences. I will, of course, be interviewing and surveying a large cross-section of women to collect that data, but this test offers me the most objective results."

"The interview process was never going to be easy," he grimaces a small smile, "Finding an innocent girl who was over the legal age of eighteen was not a simple chore. I've found that most girls lose their virginity between the ages of sixteen to eighteen. And those who are still intact are either saving themselves for marriage, have strong beliefs and assumptions about what sex means to them, have already experimented with oral sex or masturbation, or are either fixated on a dream celebrity, crush guy, or are convinced that they have a soul-mate somewhere out there. These women weren't suitable."

"I shouldn't be saying this," he rubs his jawline, "But I knew, as soon as Subject-3 walked in, that she was the one. I remained objective, followed the testing, asked the predetermined questions, and was professional, but I wasn't surprised by the results. She is the perfect girl for this."

He looks around behind him then focuses back on the camera.

"I've had a raging hard-on for her from that first day too," he grinds his teeth, "And now that she's here and we're about to start, I'm throbbing. I just want to get her naked."

He takes a deep breath, closes his eyes, clutches his fists then releases the exhale.

"Ignore that," he opens his eyes, "I've waiting all this time and now I'm acting like a horny teenage, which I'm not, by the way."

He takes a breath as his jaw tightens.

"For the record, I am not a novice," he huffs a cold laugh through his clenched teeth, "And, just because I'm not currently in a relationship and I have only had three previous partners, that doesn't mean that I'm too inexperienced to live up to the requirements of this study. I have done research as to the techniques, positions and apparatus that I will be employing. I have a strong sex drive, can maintain my erection for extended periods, and I have a quick recovery time. I don't have a problem with premature ejaculation and can last all night if needed. I will be able to portray myself as a confident lover."

He exhales again, closing his eyes, and pushes up his glasses.

"I'm ranting," he sniffs another laugh, "I'm the only one who's going to see this and I'm justifying myself to myself. I don't care what anyone says, this is a valid dissertation and I'm the right man to conduct the research."

"If I'm being honest, then I suppose my insecurities are relevant at this point," he whispers pauses as he looks around into the darkness, "Any man, looking at what's planned for the week, would suffer from some anxiety. It's only natural. I'm not the first man in history to worry that I might not be able to live up to what's required of me."

He looks at the camera.

"I've been told that I'm good in bed," he opens his mouth then closes it quickly, like he's about to say something else. He frowns and looks around the room, "Although I've heard that even the best lover can lose his cool, go all bull-at-a-gate, when he's the first to push himself through that gate. I've not taken anyone's virginity before and it's not something that you can practice. I've read and spoken to men who claim they're experienced in deflowering a woman.

"Some say that it's no different to any other sex. However, there are plenty of others that couldn't stop themselves from coming too early. Apparently, the tightness of the fit is amazing and can make you lose control and just forget everything. I've also heard that the idea of being the first inside her is as euphoric as mountain climbing. Being the first to plant the flag, so to say, propels them on to climax as quickly as possible.

"However," he shifts in his seat, "There are some who find it cumbersome due to the foreplay required, then the woman isn't responsive during, due to the pain, and they don't enjoy it."

"Which means, my own experience will be a mystery. Although I am looking forward to it, and I hope I'm not disappointed."

He pauses and pushes up his glasses.

"I've gone off topic and I'm rambling," he frowns, "What I meant to say is that, despite any self-confidence issues I am currently experiencing, I am qualified as a lover to be embarking on this research project and I have prepared myself for the task. I'm sure that I will be able to satisfy Subject-3 sexual needs and give her great multiple orgasms."

He glances over his shoulder again.

"It's probably worth mentioning that, even though I've just confessed that I'm stressing about possible performance issues, I'm still sporting a throbbing hard-on?" his hand rubbed the taut material of his trousers, "Everything about this has me as stiff as a board. I want her right now, but know that isn't the plan, which makes me want to jerk myself off just to satisfy this craving. My balls are begging for release. But she's here. I can't do that and have her catch me at it. She could still walk out. I have to wait."

He moves in the chair and clenches his fists moving them away from the tenting section of his groin.

"Luckily this is a personal journal and will only be viewed by me," he chuckles as he shakes his head, "But even so, I'd like to emphasize that I am a professional and my personal needs do not color my judgement. I have a structure to follow and I will not deviate from my scientific method. My attraction to the subject will assist the process rather than jeopardizing my results."

He takes another deep breath then he looks at the camera again.

"What the hell," his hands unbutton and unzip his trousers, with the opening free a green clothed rod pops through the opening.

He spreads the zipper apart to allow more space around the pole in his underwear. Then he pushes one hand under the elastic band at his waist and inside the stretched fabric. He groans softly as he starts moving his fist up and down inside the cotton tent.

"She's not going to hear," he whispers without looking at the camera.

He is silent as he works on his task. Then without breaking his stroke he looks at the camera, takes a deep breath and smiles as he pushes up his glasses with his free hand.

"Just because I have the scientific method mapped out, that doesn't mean this was going to be easy," his unblinking gaze centered on the camera as his bent arm continues its smooth sliding movements stretching out he elastic with each upward pull, "My persistent erection is evidence enough that I'm hotter for her than I've ever been for any woman. I don't know why. Maybe it just because I know what I'm about to do to her, how thoroughly I'm about to fuck her, and how much sex I'm going to have over the week, and that's enough to make me want her more."

"Holy shit, this feels good," he mumbles as the small wet spot at the apex of the bouncing point in the green cotton boxer shorts grows and spreads.

"Or maybe it's this strange feeling of familiarity I have with her. I don't know what it is, and I can't put my finger on it, but I feel like I've seen her before. It's not rational. I've seen her background and we've never meet. It must be deja-vous, or just the fact that she shares some features of someone I know."

He shifts his trousers downwards to his thighs, his underwear still on and still housing the tall rod and the hand working it.

"Whatever is causing this, I don't expect it to last," he shifts his hips to give himself more access to the bulge in his boxers, "I bore easily. After a couple of days, it will fade and by the end of the week I'll probably need the Viagra to get hard. That's one of the reasons I made phase three optional. It gives me the option to get someone new if she's not doing it for me anymore."

"Knowing she's in the next room," his voice is breathy, "And she's about to be naked under me is making this feel so fucking good."

He groans then looks at the camera without pausing his movement.

"Well, this is supposed to be honest, right?" his chuckle is low and rough, "Now, where was I? That's right, jerking myself off as I remember the end of the selection process."

"I still can't believe she agreed to it," he closes his eyes as he smiles his hand works faster, "When it was finally time to tell her what I needed her to do, I had prepared myself for her to walk out while calling me a pervert or other such names, but she didn't. She sat there, looked at me with those wide brown innocent eyes and nodded before whispering a yes."

"I've spent many nights jerking myself off while thinking about that moment," his breathy voice murmurs.

"At the time, I nearly picked her up, pushed her up against the wall of my office, hiked up that skirt she'd worn that day up, and nailed her hard and fast. If it wasn't for the fact that I need her intact, I probably wouldn't have stopped myself."

"Fuck, yes," he growls softly.

"And right up until today, until the moment she walked through my front door," he groans a louder sound than before. His head twists to look over his shoulder again as he slows himself down and listens, then after a minute he turns back and continues his hand's jabbing motions and turns back to the camera, "I was waiting for the call, anxious as all hell, expecting her to re-think, or to pull out, or to tell me that she'd met some guy and now wasn't able to do the study."

"Come on," his jaw clenches as his hand becomes frantic inside the cloth, "Come on, baby."

"But she's here," he closes his eyes as his head falls backwards, "And it's going to happen. The room is set up and I'm moments from starting the first recording, locking down the house and introducing her to the first experience. To say that I can't wait, is an understatement."

"Fuck," he moans softly.

"I've been working on this for such a long time," he shifts his hips upwards pushing his pulsating mid-section upwards, "It's taken ages to get here. I've suffered my share of disappointments, false starts, and failures. But I've been patient and careful and that's finally paid off."

"Oh, fuck me," his voice is low and gravelly as his hand starts moving in fast, short, sharp movements, "Please, fuck me."

His body stills, his hips off the chair, his hand thrust downwards leaving his rod standing tall like the center pole of a circus tent. He groans a low guttural sound as the green material changes color at the peak. The white discharge soaks through the fabric from the inside of his underwear as the whole area becomes wet and heavy.

"But that is all in the past," he smiles, as he breathes heavily, slowly lowering his hips while freeing his hand from the elastic opening, pulling a tissue from somewhere behind him, and wiping the gleaming substance from his fingers, "Because I'm about to kick this off. We'll do the introductions then I'll launch phase one of the research. I'll strip her naked and have a week of fucking her until she rides me like she's born to please my cock, in a very scientific way, of course."

"Right," he laughs a little nervously, "Enough honesty, it's time to clean myself up and get this show on the road."