I didn't know how long I slept. All I remember was resting my head against the classroom window, and the next instant I was being woken up when someone called out my name.

"Ms Collins!" It was Mr Walker. And there was most definitely anger in the way he said my name.

I straightened up and the textbook--that had previously been on my lap--fell down, making me jump a little. Mr Walker looked pissed by the time I looked at him. And not just him, but the whole class was staring at me now. Some were even snickering.

Heat trailed up my face and my neck. God, why had I dozed off? I should've known better.

"I suppose you do know that you shouldn't sleep between classes?" Mr Walker asked.

I licked the dryness off my lips and shrunk back in my seat. What if he gave me detention? The look on his face did say detention.

"I...I'm sorry." It was just a whisper that escaped my lips. He probably didn't even hear it.

This wouldn't have happened if I had slept last night. But I hadn't, not after the little incident yesterday with that dead girl. It had felt impossible to even close my eyes.

"Sleeping in my class is not something I tolerate, Ms Collins." He stated sternly. I heard a few giggles from the girls in front of me. "Do you even know what I was lecturing about a few seconds ago?"

I didn't. I didn't know. I could've felt people staring at me, and it was probably one of the most horrible feelings ever.

"Get out and wash your face." He shook his head in disbelief. "And do meet me after class."

Get out. Blinking, I looked down at my desk, then at my lap. My hands, I realised, looked so pale.

"Leave the classroom, Ms Collins, so that I can continue the lecture."

I winced and picked up my bag in one hand, and my textbook in another, before getting up. Then trying my best to ignore the snickers and the stares, I left the classroom.

And I didn't stop there. I kept walking and walking past the empty hallway, trying to wave off the embarrassment and shame. What had I been thinking?

I pushed open the restroom door and stumbled inside an empty stall. Closing the door behind me, I leaned back against it before sliding down on the floor.

I needed, I thought, I needed to get my shit together.

My bag fell out of my grasp and my textbook fell with a small thud. Pulling my knees up against my chest, I pressed my forehead on them, breathing heavily, and scrunching my eyes close.

"Okay," I whispered. "Okay."

This wasn't how I'd planned any of this to go. Not this insanely. Why the hell had I even slept in between a freaking lecture? Why couldn't I just do something right for once?

The pent-up frustration and anger and embarrassment slowly seeped out of me in the form of hot tears. I sniffled and slid my fingers into my hair, gripping them.

All this time, I'd been so sure I could keep it together. I was so sure that coming back here would help me somehow. I was so sure that getting out of Manhattan would solve all of the mess I was in.

But it hadn't helped. I wasn't doing anything. I was wasting my time and I was in a place that wasn't...that maybe I didn't even deserve. How could I?

You're strong, Gracie.

"No, I'm not," I whispered, placing my palms on either side of my head, pressing and pressing until it felt like I was burning from the inside. "I'm not strong, Mum."

There wasn't any reply to that. Of course, there couldn't be. Mum wasn't here. Every time I felt like giving up, I'd remember back to those words. Mum had said those words so long ago.

Those words, had they been her last words to me? I didn't even know.

Had I taken it for granted? Had I taken everything for granted two years ago? When everything had been so perfect and happy?

Because it wasn't now. I had nothing left.

My parents were dead; killed. My brother had disappeared, nowhere near me. The only person I could ever rely on seemed like he hated my guts now. And I was a mess.

A big mess.

•••••

"So, will you?"

I stared down at my phone's screen. The latest town news was filled with the mysterious murder of Anna Wilson. The girl who'd disappeared a week ago and was now recently found behind a dumpster. Dead.

"Grace?"

The family didn't know how she got killed. Not even the police or forensic experts could figure it out. No scratch or means of physical violence on her; there wasn't any evidence. No blood on her, except for the small cuts on her hand due to holding onto that black rose and its thorns.

Just that black rose and its petals.

And the police thought that wasn't suspicious at all. Why would they? They didn't know my parents had died the exact way. They didn't know that I'd seen those same black petals before when my parents had died. Just as mysteriously as that girl.

What could be the connection between Anna and my parents?

"Are you even listening to me?" This time, I did look up at Alice. I placed my phone away, screen-first on my lap. Mainly because I didn't want her to take a peek and see what I was looking at.

"Yeah. I am listening." I said.

"Really?" She asked sceptically. "What was I asking you then?"

We were sitting in a park just a few blocks away from my house. Alice had insisted I tag along with her since her younger brother had been begging her for hours to take him to the park. And she hadn't wanted to be all alone. I would've rejected her kind offer, but then I'd seen her brother. And he had reminded me so much of Jack and how much he used to love spending his time out in the parks.

So I had agreed.

"You were asking me whether I'd want to go to Kelly's party tonight or not," I replied.

Her eyes widened in surprise, but she overcame it quickly. "All right. So are you coming?"

"No." I looked away towards the wide playground.

"Why not? I was thinking about going there. You know, make some friends."

"I'm not stopping you."

"But that's the point. I want to go there with you." She explained, which was totally not an explanation. What did she have with me?

"I'm sorry, Alice." I shook my head. "I have stuff to do." Thankfully, she didn't ask me what stuff I was talking about.

"They all know you. I figured out Kelly is Natalie's best friend. You know Natalie and I don't know anyone. Nobody knows me." She pouted.

How was I supposed to tell her that them knowing me was the worst thing she could think of? They all hated me at this point. For what, I didn't know. Did they really hate me just because I had left this town without giving a single explanation?

Luca, I thought. He hated me too, didn't he?

I sighed and picked up my phone again. Another image of the dead girl flashed before my eyes.

"Did you know of anyone named Anna Wilson?" I asked Alice, which I shouldn't have since she just mentioned that she didn't know anyone here.

But I was a bit surprised at her reply, "I do. She was found dead, wasn't she?"

"Right."

"Was she your friend?" Alice sounded sorry.

"No. Why would I be asking you about her if she was my friend?"

Her eyebrows shot up before a small laugh escaped her lips. "Oh right, sorry. I don't actually know her. But her younger sister, Penny, goes to the same school as us. And everyone was talking about her at school today." She added. "I think she'll be coming to the party tonight."

I couldn't help but inhale a little sharply. Her sister was just found dead and she was enjoying the night out at a party?

"So if you want to talk to her." She didn't continue, leaving the rest for me to figure out myself. As if it wasn't obvious enough.

"I don't like parties," I whispered, almost to myself. I didn't even remember ever going out to parties back in Manhattan. Or even here, when I lived here.

The last time I'd gone to a party was the night before I left for Manhattan. A party at Parker's. And I didn't remember that night. Nothing at all. I'd woken up with a bad hangover the very next morning, which meant I'd gotten drunk at that party. Which, as much as it unsettled me, was still fine with me. Because part of me knew that I'd seen Luca that night, and that same part of me didn't want to remember our goodbye.

"But you'll still be coming with me." She cheered up. "All right then. I'll be ready by eight. We'll go there together."

I looked down at my phone's screen. And I knew that I had no choice.