Grace's POV

The first time I tried waking up, I couldn't breathe. There was just darkness around me and I couldn't breathe. My head was brimming with an intense pain and it felt like my lungs were on fire.

The second time I tried waking up, the burning pain was gone. It felt extremely hard to open my eyes though, almost as if an invisible force was keeping them shut. I felt way too exhausted to care about my surroundings.

The third time I woke up, things were a bit better. I couldn't feel the pain. The drowsiness was gone. When I managed to open my eyes, the lights felt too bright, so much so that a small inaudible wince escaped my lips. I took my time adjusting to the white light, not even sure where I was.

Then I heard the unmistakable beeping sounds of machines around me and a small groan escaped my lips.

I didn't like this place. Not even a bit.

"Grace?"

I closed my eyes back again, hoping that whoever it was would know that I wasn't conscious yet. I didn't want to sit up and talk to anyone. I didn't even want to remember why I was here –in a hospital– in the first place.

Maybe I was feeling like that because of the drugs I was on right now. I felt numb and I just didn't want to talk.

"I saw her move a bit." The same person said in a hushed whisper and I'm sure it wasn't directed at me. "I swear."

I heard a small shuffle and someone came to my left, warm fingers pressing against my wrist; checking my pulse.

I wasn't dead.

Why wasn't I dead?

"The pulse rate is...normal. I think we should wait a bit until she wakes up." This was an unfamiliar voice. "I'll go and call the doctor."

I opened my eyes once again and winced again at the bright light, this time it was loud and the only two people around me heard it.

"Grace."

I blinked twice before gripping the sheets over me and sitting up. I was kind of thankful that the nurse helped, or I was sure I would've fallen down again. My whole body felt like jello.

"Thank God you woke up." I looked up and saw Alice. She wasn't covered in dirt and grime anymore. She looked fresh, and worried.

I refrained myself from looking around the hospital room. Besides me, it was just Alice and that nurse in the room. I think I despised hospitals more than anything.

Ironic that I always ended up here.

"How are you feeling, Grace?" The nurse gave me a small smile.

I didn't smile back, though. I blinked at her in response. My mind felt blank at this moment, as if someone had literally sucked out all the thoughts, questions and emotions from it.

"I feel...numb." I heard my voice and realized that it was me who was speaking.

The nurse nodded and I looked back at Alice when I felt her gaze on me.

"That's just the Demerol." The nurse said. "Its effects will wear off in a couple of hours. All right, I'll check up with the doctor then."

Once she was gone, Alice sat down on the bed in front of me and spoke up, "Do you really not feel anything?"

I then noticed a small bandaid at the corner of her forehead. Something about the bright orange sweatshirt she was wearing right now made me feel a bit more lightheaded, in a good way.

"Yeah." I leaned back against the pillow and looked at the plain white wall in front of me. There was an unusual painting hung on the wall, with colors that really did not go along well.

I bet Luca could make this painting look better in just few minutes.

"Where's Frost." Just after speaking it, I realized that I didn't make it sound like a question. Maybe because I didn't want to make it sound like a question.

"He...He's with Marleen, I guess." Alice seemed a bit taken aback by that question.

Luca. Luca. Luca.

"Where's Marleen?" I think my voice sounded a bit strange now.

Alice looked back at me and I saw the sadness in her eyes. I looked away from her, back at the plain white wall. I think I hated that sad look more than these hospital rooms.

"Can I see Frost?" I asked her.

I saw her looking down at her hands and she still looked sad. "You can, but I don't think they'd let him in here when you just woke up."

"Okay." I murmured.

We both fell silent for the next few minutes and I kept on wondering when the doctor would come inside.

"Are we just going to pretend that nothing happened?" Alice whispered, still looking down at her hands.

Pretend.

Was that what I was doing right now?

"I thought you promised me that you'll make it out of there." She continued. "And you didn't."

I shifted a little and felt a dull ache somewhere in my head. Rubbing my temple, I realized that I must've bashed my head on something.

"You stayed there." Alice looked up at me then and I saw her eyes misting over with tears. I think she was angry. "You stayed in that underground chamber when that whole fucking place was falling down."

I licked my lips and leaned back again, a bit away from her. "People break promises all the time, Alice." And suddenly, I could feel my chest hurt at those words. Not the physical pain, it was something inside; a deep hollowness.

Luca broke his promise too. He wasn't here now.

"They do, but what you did was just stupid." She glared at me and something told me that she was forcing herself to not shout at me. "Why would you just want to die?"

Because there was nothing left.

I looked down at the pale blue sweatshirt that I was wearing, it almost looked like one of those hospital gowns. I didn't answer her question, though.

"You're pathetic, Grace." She shook her head, her voice lowering down. "But...I'm glad that you're fine now. I'm really glad."

The numb feeling was slowly dissipating away and I clutched onto the sheets tightly, hoping that would somehow stop it from going away. Whatever this drug was, it made me feel calm, and I liked that numb feeling.

"Can...Can you ask the nurse for more painkillers?" I asked her. Although I didn't feel any pain, I wanted them. I wanted to feel nothing.

She stared back at me and I saw her wiping her tears away. "No. That thing makes you sleep a lot."

"I want to sleep."

"No, you don't." She glared at me and I closed my mouth shut. "You need to have a quick checkup so that you can stand up from this freaking bed and go see your brother."

I blinked at her, trying to hide that I was a bit taken aback. "My brother." I murmured to myself. "Jack's...fine?"

She nodded, and I was glad to see the sad look in her eyes fading away. "He's fine, Grace."

•••••

It took hours before the doctor let me up from that bed. It was then when he told me about the mild concussion and other minor injuries I had, something that he advised I should rest for. The checkup went on for quite some time and it took some more time to convince the nurse to let me see Jack. She agreed, only because the hospital room he was in wasn't that faraway from my own room.

Alice helped me up even though I told her that I was fine. My chest hurt a bit when I stood up and tried to move, but I didn't tell that to anyone. I think Alice knew about it since she was being so insistent to help me walk out.

While we walked, Alice made sure to fill me up with everything that happened after I had passed out in that underground chamber. I had a feeling that she was trying to tell me as little details as she could've—she told me nothing about Burner or Cynthia or even Jonathan.

She kept on repeating that the whole building had collapsed just after they had managed to pull me out, and there were no remains of anything—that's what the police had said when they assessed the damage.

He was gone. Burner was gone.

There was barely anyone in the hallway when Alice stopped in front of a door, making me stop beside her. She looked at me and waited, jerking her chin towards the closed door.

"Aren't you coming inside with me?" I asked her as she let go of my arm.

She exhaled a deep sigh and shook her head. "No. I think...you should talk to him alone."

I didn't ask her anything as she pulled away and sat down on one of the waiting chairs. The nurse hadn't told me much about Jack, telling me that I shouldn't worry about him since he was awake and responding well. Even though I wanted to tell her that I felt too numb to worry about anything right now, I didn't. She wouldn't have believed me anyway.

I pushed open the door and went inside.

I was expecting a lot of things to happen at that moment. I was expecting him to be asleep. I was expecting him to not talk to me. I was even expecting him to not remember me.

But when I entered inside and let the door close shut behind me, I saw that he wasn't sleeping. He was actually wide awake, his eyes fixated on me. For some reason, that rooted me to my spot.

The next few seconds went by as we both went on staring at each other. I could see his face much more clearly now. He looked sickly pale, but he was here.

Jack was here.

I finally broke out from the staring and walked over towards his bed. When I sat down in front of him, a small grimace escaped my lips.

He was still staring at me and even when I tried searching for any expression on his face, I found none. There wasn't even relief.

"Hey, Jack." I whispered, placing my palms over the soft white sheets. His gaze didn't break away from my face and a part inside me started to panic a bit.

Please say something.

"Um, I'm sorry..." I trailed off slowly. "...for not coming here earlier. I didn't—I just found out that you woke up."

He still didn't say anything and I felt dread bubbling inside me. It wasn't too much, but the anxious feeling was there. I opened my mouth but something clenched within my gut and I looked down at my hands, thinking otherwise.

Please say something.

"What happened to your hair?"

I had to stare at him for the next few seconds just to make sure it was really him who said that. Even though my mind was being a bit slow right now, I knew it wasn't me who said it, and there was no one in this room besides us.

"I..." I trailed off, consciously touching my hair.

"It used to be longer." Jack said and this time, I saw his lips move. His voice was low, a bit scratchy. But it was his voice.

I gulped heavily and nodded, ignoring the stinging at the corner of my eyes. "Yeah, I wasn't really liking them long. So I cut them off."

He kept on looking at me and I noticed that his hair –almost the same shade as mine– were longer too, almost falling over his forehead. It made him look older, or maybe I just thought that because I hadn't seen him in so long.

"Your hair's longer too." I told him.

He stopped staring at me and looked down at his lap, not saying anything this time.

"Jack?" Had I said something wrong? Should I have not said anything?

I wanted to go near him and wrap my arms around him. I wanted to tell myself that he was fine. But was he fine?

I sighed heavily and kept my gaze on him. "So, I'm not sure how long you're supposed to—"

"Mum and Dad aren't here, are they?" He asked, looking back at me, his brown eyes showing absolutely nothing.

I blinked at that, backing away a little. He noticed that little movement but the blank expression on his face didn't even waver a bit.

"They told me that they killed them." He murmured, looking at my face, waiting.

I looked down at my hands and realized that they were trembling a little. Maybe it was just the side effect of that drug the nurse had mentioned earlier.

"They told me that they killed you too." His voice sounded even quieter now.

I bit my lower lip and dragged both of my hands along my face. I didn't know what to say to him, I didn't even feel like crying right now. There was this constant heavy feeling in my chest and I felt nauseous.

"I'm so sorry, Jack." I said. Something stung at the corners of my eyes but I knew I wasn't crying.

He didn't say anything in response.

"I tried to find you." My voice lowered down to a whisper when a tear trailed down my chin and I wiped it just as quick. I wasn't crying. "I just couldn't."

"It's fine." He replied in a small voice.

I looked up at him then and scrunched up my forehead. "No, it's not." I shook my head. "I'm sorry that you had to go through this all alone. For two years, Jack. Two years are so...much."

He looked down at his hand again and I saw him fidgeting with the large bandage around his wrist. "It wasn't your fault."

I shook my head again, as if that could somehow stop him from saying that. I wanted to tell him so many things but I didn't know what to say at the same time.

"I...was scared in that place." I heard him hesitate a bit. "But I'm here now. You shouldn't blame yourself."

I rubbed my eyes and they were dry. Just that made me feel a bit angry. Why wasn't I crying?

"Are you trying to make me feel better?" My voice wavered a bit.

He looked at me and I saw his brown eyes widen a bit, the only change of expression I saw on him. "I'm just saying...that it's fine."

I bit the inside of my cheek this time, letting the silence follow his words.

"I was trying to make you feel better too." He added after a while.

I felt my lips curve up in a small smile, but I didn't feel it. Deep down, it just felt like thin needles were piercing my heart.

"I'm sorry, Jack." I forced the words out of my mouth. "I just—do you want me to call the doctor? Have you eaten anything?"

I was a bit too slow to realize that he had scooted closer towards me. I didn't realize it until he wrapped his arms around my waist and hugged me.

I froze then, because I really didn't know what to do. What if I hugged him back and he pulled away?

"Jack?" I asked him in a whisper. All I could see were his shaggy blond hair, his face hidden against me.

"I missed you." He murmured. And even though his voice sounded a bit robotic, devoid of any emotion, I still hugged him back. Because that made me feel better, it made me feel like everything was fine and nothing was lost.

We stayed like that for the next hour.

"Grace." He murmured after a while, his voice not too audible.

"Yeah?"

"Did you really get a pet-dog?"

I closed my eyes and smiled against the top of his head. "Yeah."

"Really?"

"Yeah, Jack. He's small and very energetic." I told him. "You'll love him."

He was silent at that, and by the soft rising and falling of his chest against me, I almost thought that he had drifted off to sleep.

"Mum never allowed us to have a pet." He murmured and I wished I could see him smile. Nothing about this felt normal—like old times. Everything felt so different between us. "Dad never bought us one either."

I found myself remembering how much Jack actually loved pets. I hated pets just as much as he loved the thought of having one.

"When can we go back home?" He asked in an even lower voice, but I heard it. "I don't like this place. I don't like the people here."

"They won't hurt you, Jack." I sighed, wrapping a comforting arm around him. "Besides, I am here."

He made a small approving sound at the back of his throat. I was more than relieved to know that he wasn't shutting me out, something that I had been expecting. He was talking to me and I was glad.

"I saw Marleen." He whispered and I stiffened in response, my hand freezing over his hair. "Do you remember her?"

I was starting to feel a bit more nauseous now. Hopefully, it was just the medicine I was on.

"Yeah, Jack." I answered him.

He shifted his head a little on my shoulder. "Are Luc and you still friends?"

I closed my eyes when I felt them stinging a bit at the edges. It was probably because of his hair tickling my eyes.

Luca. Luca. Luca.

"You should take some rest, Jack." I pushed him away a little and he didn't complain. Even my voice sounded odd at this moment. "You sound tired."

He eyed me for a few seconds. "Okay."

I nodded at him and he pulled away before leaning back against the white pillows. "Will you stay here?"

"Yeah. Of course." I nodded again and stood up, before sitting down on the chair beside him.

It didn't even take him more than five minutes to completely doze off and I kept sitting there beside him, looking nowhere and thinking nothing. The silence felt nice for some reason. I knew there were so many things I should be thinking about right now, so many questions I should be asking myself. But I wasn't doing that.

Everything was just blank.

Few minutes later, the door to the room opened and I found myself scrunching back in my chair, almost wanting to hide myself. It was probably Alice and I didn't want to talk about anything.

"Grace." It wasn't Alice.

I looked up at the person in front of me and my breath hitched in response. All of a sudden, my mind was crowding up with the same thoughts that I hadn't been thinking about earlier, all the stuff I didn't want to think about.

I watched as Marleen looked over at Jack's sleeping form before her eyes came back at me. She looked way too exhausted, yet she was still in her work clothes.

Why was she here? Why was she here right now?

I blinked at her but didn't say anything. The effects of that drug were starting to wear off, and really, this was the worst time for this.

"Did he just sleep?" She asked me, her eyes trained over at Jack as she cautiously sat down on his bed, where I had just been sitting.

I still didn't say anything and she must've seen the look on my face, all the overwhelming emotions I felt on the inside. "Grace?"

"I'm sorry." The words blurted out of my mouth almost in a rush. I didn't even know I was saying it until I heard my own voice with my own ears.

She furrowed her brows slightly but then she looked away. I was glad that she looked away. Just as the silence went on stretching into something a bit painful, I spoke up once again,

"I'm sorry, Marleen." I whispered. "It's...my fault. And I'm sorry."