Part 2 of this story will be on that account ]

𝗔𝗺𝗮𝗿𝗶 𝗞𝗮𝘆𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗲 𝗕𝗿𝗼𝘄𝗻𝗲 | 𝗠𝗮𝗿𝗶

𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚗 𝚃𝚇 .

I woke up with my head on Mir's chest and dried up tears on my face. I looked up at him and his mouth was slightly parted and his breathing was steady, indicating that he was still deep asleep. I got up carefully, unwrapping his arms from around me, and sat at the edge of the bed, just staring at the floor.

I hadn't had a nightmare in almost 3 weeks. The last time being the day right before I got shot outside of my building. So why is this happening now?

I sighed and got up to get my phone from Mir's dresser. I checked the time and it read 7:13pm. So I practically spent the whole day sleeping at this mans house.

"You good?" Mir yawned, sitting himself up on the bed. I nodded and he got up to walk into the bathroom. I followed him into the bathroom and lean against the wall as he brushed his teeth, waiting for him to finish.

He looked up from the sink and stared at me through the mirror and I broke eye contact. Sure this nigga was fine, but his stares sent chills down my spine.

"Whatchu lookin' at me for?" He chuckled.

"Nothin'. You gon' take me home?" He rolled his eyes and finished up brushing his teeth.

If you don't want me to leave just say that sir.

"I gotchu. Actin' like I kidnapped you and shit." He mumbled. I shrugged and brushed my teeth with the spare toothbrush before walking back into the room and picking up my phone.

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❤️

Today 7:22pm

💕

Where df Mari at

❤️

Haven't heard from ha ass in almost a day

👩🏾‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏽

Im startin to think she died

❤️

What shoes she got on?

Mann stfu

Where yo ass at?

Mir's crib

❤️

Ummm am I trippin or did she just say Mir?

Chill, I been sleeping here the whole day

👩🏾‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏽

"Sleep" is that what yall callin it now?

💕

😭😭

Gtfff!

❤️

Im hungry doe onbs

Always hungry like damn nigga you pregnant?

❤️

👩🏾‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏽

Ihop?

💕

Bet, yall good in an hr?

Mhm

Say less

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I put my phone back on the nighstand and walked out of the room and into the kitchen where Mir was.

"You read the groupchat?" I asked him. He turned around, stuffing his face with some chips.

"Mm mm, why?" He shook his head. "We goin' to IHop." I said, prompting him to roll his eyes.

"Aight, whatever." He shrugged, turning back around.

I walked back into the room and changed out of Mir's boxers and into my pants from last night. Mir came in and got his clothes to head to the bathroom and take a shower. I sat on the end of the bed while I waited for him to get out the shower.

"Can we stop at my crib?" I asked when he walked out of the bathroom."Why?"

"Cause I don't wanna wear the same clothes as yesterday." I said in an obvious tone.

"Just borrow one of my shirts or sum. And drop the attitude."

I rolled my eyes and walked over to his closet and picked out a black Amiri shirt. He's definitely gonna be mad, but I could honestly care less. He really could've just took me home first. I put the shirt on and stared at myself in the mirror.

Definitely not getting this back.

Mir walked back into the room and stared at me through the mirror, tilting his head and straight facing me. I turned around and smiled at him making him roll his eyes.

"You ready?" I nodded and we walked out of his house and into his all-black Hellcat. We drove in complete silence with 2am by King Von playing lowly in the background.

"We leaving the club, heard the opps outside." Mir mumbled to the lyrics.

Told folks'nem spin that Benz (spin)

Muwop did 'em dirty, now it's hot outside

Fuck yo homie and fuck yo kin' (fuck 'em)

They ain't never pop out, and the opps don't slide

Nigga look at this chain if he wanna (what)

New Glock 26, leave 'em wet like Tide

He turned down the volume and glanced over at me. "You get nightmares a lot?" He asked, breaking the silence in between us.

"Sometimes."

"Is it the same nightmare every time?"

"It's different ones. Either Bri'on dying, or me waiting in the hospital after he got shot, or me killing Dakari." He nodded and I looked back down at my phone.

"Do you get nightmares?"

"Yea, all the time." He replied casually.

"Bout what?" He sighed and clenched his jaw. "A lot of things. Mainly my momma dying."

"Oh. How did yo momma die?" He looked over at me with a confused expression on his face. I vaguely remembered him mentioning her at the hospital but I was so gone off of the pain meds that I really don't remember much.

"She had cancer."

I noticed his change of demeanor and regretted asking him in the first place. "I'm sorry, Samiron."

I didn't want him to feel like I was pressuring him to speak to me 'bout personal shit when he clearly didn't feel comfortable.

"Yeen got nun to be sorry bout." He shrugged. "It was hard as fuck though. Seeing her get worse every time I walked into that hospital." He shook his head. I nodded, not knowing what to say back.

I couldn't picture 17 year old Samiron watching his mom die and not being able to doing anything about it. Especially when he always seems so in control of every situation that occurs around him. This is obviously what Aijah been meaning when she said theres a reason he acts the way he does. I just didn't understand it yet.

"You good?" He glanced over at me before looking back at the road.

"Yea, I just feel bad."

"It's coo, it was her time to go I guess." He shrugged. He tries so hard to put up a nonchalant front, but I see right through it. Maybe it's because we're both living with trauma that hasn't been dealt with, maybe not. But I can tell that he's hurting but he's pushing it to the side.

I looked down at my phone and the car went silent again with the exception of the music in the back. We pulled into the IHop parking lot where Aijah, Rell, Eli, Duck and Tasia were already standing around and talking.

"Finally!" Eli threw his hands up dramatically. Nigga always gotta do the most.

"Fuck yall lookin' at?" Mir's asked from behind me as we walked towards them.

"If y'all fuckin' just say that." Rell smirked.

"But we're not." Samiron and I said in unison making everyone scoff and roll their eyes. They swear they know everything.

As we walked towards the doors of the restaurant we heard a high-pitched voice calling Mir's name. We all turned around except for Mir who stood there and rolled his eyes. Just rude.

"So you'on hear me callin' your name?" A tall girl stood in front of crossing her arms. She was lightskin with a light brown wig installed and she looked a lil' taller than me.

Mir stood in his same position and looked down, mugging the fuck out of her. "Whatchu want shorty?" He huffed.

"You're rude as fuck, you know that?"

"I know, and I don't give a fuck." He shrugged.

"Well seeing as i'm going to be your baby momma now, you should start respecting me." Everyone's jaws dropped except for Mir who held the same unbothered expression on his face.

"Bit- fuck is you talking about?" He asked, still mugging her with his jaw clenched now.

"I'm pregnant obviously." She rolled her neck. Mir closed his eyes and rubbed his temple and everyone got quiet.

"What's yo name again?" He crossed his arms over his chest and everyone sighed. This nigga is really unbelievable.

"Mir really? My name is Yonna, you know that."

"Yonna?" She nodded and he laughed catching everyone off guard

"Mmcht, I didn't fuck you shorty, you gave me head. That's it."

"Okay? And I swallowed." She pinched her eyebrows together, speaking matter-of-factly. Mir ran his

hands down his face and everyone tried to hold in their laughs. No way sis is that slow.

"That's not how- nevermind. Happy pregnancy. 'Cause that little muthafucka is not mine." He shrugged and everyone busted out laughing.

"Stupid ass." He mumbled walking towards us and leaving her dumbfounded.

"Say son, you be fuckin' with the stupidest bitches." Eli laughed, holding his stomach.

"That ain't me son. She just tried to pin a pregnancy on me! Got me fucked up." He frowned and I shook my head and walked into IHop behind him.

We got seated and I sat across from Mir next to Aijah cause I didn't want anyone to say anything to me about shit. They already think that me and Samiron be fucking and i'm not trying to feed into that theory.

The waiter came over and asked us for our drinks. She was a pretty brownskin girl with long burgundy hair touching her ass. Her teeth were straight and her ass was definitely fat, matching her wide thighs. As she took our orders everyone peeped her eyeing Samiron. Do he really got girls throwing themselves

at him everywhere he go?

Mir seemed to be interested in her too. I could tell by the way he looked her up and down and licked his lips. Everyone was silent and sitting there awkwardly while the waiter and Samiron flirted. I could feel myself getting irritated, but I didn't wanna say anything out loud so I texted Aijah.

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💕

Today 8:32pm

Okay i'm getting irritated now..

What's wrong?

Mfs steady flirting, like go back there and

give them mfs my order!

They both over here flirting and shit while

we sit here awkwardly like that shit is weird

That's not why you're irritated but okay Mari

Guh

If you want Mir just say that 🥰

I literally don't ma'am

Mhmmm

Gtf dude, im bein deadass

But do he gotta flirt with everyone

EVERYWHERE we go??

Say sum abt it then miss girl

Nah, already did that last time & yall already think me and him fucking so if I say something it's def gonna look like that

Whatever you say 🙄

I hate you

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"Fuck yall texting 'bout over there?" Rell asked across the table. Me and Aijah looked at each other and pursed our lips to the side to avoid laughing. We suck at being discreet.

"Um nothing." Aijah replied. I looked over and Mir was staring dead at me so I quickly looked away.

"So Mari what are you doin' for yo birthday?" Duck asked, playing with Tasia's hands across the table.

"Big 21!" Eli yelled, making some of the white people around us stare.

"Ion know. I definitely wanna do some Hood rat-"

"Hood rat shit?" Duck cut me off, "Yea, no."

"Ima spoil my baby for her birthday." Rell smiled, making me bussed out laughing. I peeped Samiron look at Rell for a second and mug him, but I didn't say anything.

"I'm not yo baby so you must be talking 'bout Aijah." I laughed and Aijah snapped her head towards me.

"Don't start that shit." She mumbled. As if I don't know her and Rell have been messing around? I know her better than she knows herself.

After we were done eating everyone got in their separate cars and headed back. I walked back to Samiron's Hellcat with him trailing behind me. We got in and he started the car and he just sat there.

"Uh what are we doing..?" I asked and looked over to see him rolling a blunt. Hood niggas will really smoke any and everywhere. He couldn't have waited 'till he got home?

"We gon' go, I just wanna smoke first." He mumbled and I nodded. It seemed like he was stalling because he could've easily smoked while he drove. He's done that plenty of times before but okay.

He took a pull from the blunt and handed it to me. "Hm." He held it out. I shrugged and took the blunt from him.

He reclined his seat back a little and put his arm behind his head. He cocked his head to the side and stared at me. He's getting very comfortable for someone who just said we were about to go.

"You gon' tell me what happened with yo brother?" Samiron asked as I passed him the blunt back.

I looked out the window and contemplated if I even wanted to tell him. But then it dawned on me that he's been nothing but vulnerable ever since that day at the hospital. He's told me shit that he's clearly not comfortable with talking about— so I at least owe him that vulnerability.

While I told the story of Bri'on's death I avoided eye contact with him completely. My eyes were glued to the window in front of me. Every time I tell someone what happened that day, it feels like i'm reliving it and I hate that feeling.

I was surprised at how attentive Samiron was the whole time. I don't know if it's because he genuinely wanted to know, or if he was just being nosy. Either way, it felt good to talk to someone about it instead of having my thoughts balled up in my head. Of course I have Duck and Eli or even Aijah to talk to about it, but telling the story and having someone else hear it is different.

"Damn. That shit crazy." He said and I nodded, glancing over at him before looking back out the window.

I felt Samiron still staring at the side of my head, which he did every time I broke eye contact with him. It's as if he's trying to read me, or see how I'm feeling through my facial expressions and my eyes. It

creeped me the fuck out at first, but I got used to it 'cause I feel like he does it unknowingly. It's one of his many ways of wanting to be in control of everything.

"I get why you have nightmares about it. That shit ain't easy." He said and I nodded.

"But it's like you said, it was his time to go.." I shrugged and cleared my throat. The words didn't even feel right coming out of my mouth.

Was it really his time to go? Or did someone hate my brother so much that they took it upon themselves to decide when it was his time to go? The car fell quiet again while I asked myself the same questions over and over.

"Do you really believe that?" Samiron asked, breaking the silence and causing me to look over at him.

"Believe what?"

"That it was his time to go." He reiterated. I shrugged, not really knowing the answer to his question.

"I don't know. I assume it was. Death is inevitable." I said, trying to convince myself more than Samiron. He nodded and sat up, starting the car.

"Always trust your gut Mari," He looked over at me and I could tell just by his facial expression that he was being serious. "I'm being deadass. If something doesn't feel right it probably isn't." He said and I nodded.

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Biggest pet peeve?

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