Part 2 of this story will be on that account ]

𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚗𝚃𝚇.

❦

"Damn Mari." Samiron groaned and threw his head back as I swirled my tongue around his tip before taking him fully into my mouth.

I hummed to avoid gagging and continued to bob my head up and down his member while I stroked him with my free hand at the same pace.

"Keep goin'." He groaned, holding my hair out of my face while my spit and his pre cum began to pool around my mouth. Once his tip touched the back of my throat I felt him release deep into my mouth.

I swallowed and started sucking him slowly. "Chill Mari." He mumbled, still in a daze. I smirked to myself and sucked on his tip before finally letting go.

"You gon' be the death of me." He breathed out as I gradually stopped stroking him.

I chuckled and wiped the excess liquids from around my mouth and sucked them off my thumb while Samiron watched me attentively, licking his bottom lip.

"C'mere." He mumbled, getting off the bed and positioning himself at the edge. He pulled me down by my thighs and rammed himself into me fully without giving me time to adjust.

"Fuck Samiron! Ooh.. take some out." I groaned, throwing my head back and fisting the sheets.

"Shush, you can take it." He muttered while beginning to slide in and out of me.

"You so wet." He looked down at me with his chains dangling in my face.

"I'm always wet for you.." I breathed out as I arched my back off the bed. "You always wet for me huh?" He smirked and I nodded in response.

"Fuck Samiron.. just like that." I moaned as he began to pick up his pace, continuously hitting my g spot, deep inside my stomach.

"You want me to nut all in you huh?" He said while wrapping his hand around my neck and thrusting into me. "Mhmm.."

"Nah, I need to hear you." He muttered, leaning down and taking my right nipple into his mouth. "I want you.. t-to nut in me, baby."

He continued to stroke his dick in and out of me as he gradually got faster, causing me to grip his dick unintentionally. "Hold it. Don't cum 'till I tell you to."

"I-i can't.." I muttered, trying to contain myself. My legs shook and I could feel the tears in my eyes.

"Yea you can. Hold yo cum for me, mama." He said while pushing his dick deeper with every stroke.

"Fuck b-baby.. please let me cum..." I pleaded, feeling his dick twitch inside me. "You so fuckin' tight." He groaned, almost painfully, as he dropped

his head back and slowed his strokes down.

"Cum on yo dick." He instructed. I released on his dick and he followed by nutting deep inside me. He pulled out, making both of us groan from the loss. I

dropped myself back onto the bed and let out a deep breath.

"So much for being in a rush." I mumbled, making Samiron laugh. "Told yo ass."

He's really been taking advantage of this whole no-condoms thing. Ever since we found out I can't get pregnant we been doing it raw every single time. I literally haven't seen a condom or Plan B box since before we left for Louisiana.

If I hadn't got shot, I would definitely be carrying a baby Samiron in my stomach right now.

Samiron walked out of the bathroom and wiped both of us down before walking into his closet. "Where you headed?" I asked.

"Got some business to take care of." He said as he shuffled around im his closet. I sucked my teeth.

"I wish you'd stop running in the streets. You gon' get caught up one way or another."

"Who gon' get caught up?" He stepped out of the closet and looked at me with raised eyebrows.

"Niggas know not to play with me."

"Okayyy? You should want more for yourself than just selling, Miron." He sucked his teeth and turned around to face the mirror and put the rest of his chains on.

Unlike Duck and Eli, Samiron and Rell deal with strictly weed. They might move a few pills here and there but for the most part it's just weed. They've acquired a lot of money from selling it over the years since weed still isn't legal in Texas and people will do anything to get their hands on it.

Regardless though, I want all of the boys to get actual jobs instead of surrounding themselves with all this illegal shit 'cause it's only gonna land them in a grave or in jail. But they know that and haven't shown any signs of stopping soon. I don't understand it.

"Mari it's not about "wanting more for myself." I worked for where i'm at right now, shorty. My shit is in the streets from Houston all the way up to Abilene and I been movin weight since middle school. It's not something I can just drop and walk away from."

"Whatever samiron." I shook my head, getting off the bed.

He sucked his teeth, turning around to face me again. "I know you ain't mad right now. I'm making money aren't I?"

"Thats not the point. And you're barely cleaning your money so bye as fuck. You got allll that money spread in between two laundromats on the westside

and a barber shop on the east— you're gonna get caught up."

"No I ain't. I been doing this for years, Mari. I know what I'm doing." He walked back into his closet.

"What about that barbershop you and Zion were talkin bout opening? Yall used do that with yo dad so why not do it again?"

"First off me and Zion only talked about the li' barbershop 'cause he been nagging me about cleaning my money just like you be talking 'bout."

"Second off, if I do open up a "legal" business it's gonna be a club with Rell 'cause we've been talking about one since we were in 8th grade. Mainly cause we were some horny little niggas that liked strippers, but still."

"Okay so why not do it?" I looked at him like he was dumb.

"Fast money is just easier." He shrugged. "Especially for me 'cause I been doing this for a while and I'm not new to it. How long it take for yo pops to officially get out the game?"

"Like 2-ish years."

"Exactly, and he was moving weight for a long ass time too. That should show you that I can't just up and leave when I feel like it."

"Okay Samiron. Fast money is all nice until they catch you and all of a sudden you belong to the state of Texas." I said and he started laughing.

"Been there done that." He smiled sarcastically making me roll my eyes.

After getting myself together, I showered and changed at Samiron's house before heading to my parent's house to talk to them about everything that's been goin on. I been kinda standoff-ish towards my parents since I got back from Louisiana

over a month ago but it really isn't their fault. I just needed time to process everything and if we're being honest I still haven't processed everything. It's all

kinda falling on my head at the same time.

But Samiron helped me realize that I can't just sit around with all the weight and responsibility of Bri'on's death on my shoulders when in reality I was just as clueless as he was. More-so naive and manipulated, but still.

About 25 minutes later I pulled up to my parent's house and parked my car in the driveway. I grabbed my keys and phone out the car before locking it and making my way up the porch.

I unlocked the door and was met with my momma and dad sitting on the couch watching reruns of The Wayans Bros while Lay slept peacefully on my dad's lap.

"I'm surprised you remembered where we lived." My dad teased, making my momma shift her attention away from the tv and at the front door.

"Travis shut up, no one laughs at your jokes." She rolled her eyes. "Anyways, hi daughter!" She cheesed and I laughed, walking fully into the house and closing the door behind me.

I walked over to give her a hug, purposefully blocking my dads view of the tb.

"Mane- you blocking the god da- lord have mercy." He huffed while I muffled my laugh to avoid waking Lay up.

"You not gon' say hi pops?" I put my hand on my hip. "Hi daughter." He mocked my momma as I leaned down to give him a hug. I shook my head and sat on the armchair adjacent to them.

"So you finally ready to tell us what's goin on?" My dad bluntly said, stretching himself out on the couch, I nodded slowly.

He's always been very straightforward and he doesn't sugar coat stuff. Over the years i've learned to not take what he says offensively 'mcause my dad really doesn't give a fuck about anyone's feelings.

"Aight lemme put this demon seed in her room right quick." He stood up from the couch holding a sleeping Layva in his arms.

"You gon' quit callin my child a demon seed!" My momma grilled him as he walked up the stairs waving her off.

I smiled eyeing my momma's appearance, "You look pretty momma."

She was wearing some joggers and a plain white tank top that showcased the tattoos trailing up her left shoulder. My momma has always been that bitch and she often gets mistaken as my sister when we're out in public due to how young she looks and how naturally curvy her body is. A lot of people say she resembles Bernie Burgos and I kinda see it body-wise and they have similar facial features. Me on the other hand, I'm a copy of my dad.

"Thank you!" She smiled, showing the dimples I got from her.

I looked up at the wall above the tv to see that my momma had rehung my favorite picture that fell with the shoot out. In the picture, I was in 9th grade and Bri'on was in 11th. My momma stands behind us with her arms around both of our shoulders, pushing our bodies together with the biggest smile on her face. All three of us are standing outside of our old house and I can't help but smile myself at the picture. Me and Bri'on are grinning without a care in the world.

It's pictures like that that i'll treasure forever. Pictures where Bri'on's bright smile and deep dimples are on full display. His skin was a little darker then mine and his hair was constantly changing. He either had twists or grew it out. He kept his hair in twists most of the time though. He was a few inches taller than me and he had a skinny body but he played basketball a lot so he grew some muscle over the years.

I'll never forget the Cheyenne tattoo he had going up his forearm. He got it when he turned 19 and my momma cussed him out bad. She cussed me out that day too, for whatever reason. Little did she know I went and got my first tattoo on my ankle just two weeks after his. I wanted to be like him so bad.

Right next to my favorite picture is another one of me and Bri'on that I remember my momma took when we were in middle school. We're sitting at a booth in Applebees and i'm frowning at the camera with a spoon in my mouth while Bri'on sits next to me laughing because he got the whipped cream from my dessert all over the lower half of my face.

The picture to the right of that was outside of Thirty's house, that same year. Thirty, Ju, Ry and Bri'on stood behind me and my cousin Mercedes and we were all smiling, our clothes completely soaked in water. We had just ran through the neighbor's backyard because Ry insisted we go and take our basketball back instead of just asking for it. We hopped over the fence and unbeknownst to us, the middle aged women was sitting on the deck smoking a cigarette. She saw us and didn't hesitate to grab the hose.

The last picture to the left was Bri'on's high-school graduation. He stood in front of his school wearing his cap and gown while I had my arms hooked around his neck, pulling him down to my level. Both of us had the biggest smiles on our faces. I couldn't help but coo at baby Layva who was standing next to Bri'on's legs with her finger in her mouth.

I smiled at the pictures and made a mental note to ask my momma for any childhood pictures so I can get them enlarged. My dad finally came back into the living room and plopped down on the couch next to her, throwing his arm over her shoulder.

"Aight, time to talk." I cleared my throat awkwardly while the room fell silent for a few seconds.

"Okay soo I killed Messiah." I started. I don't really know how to start.. I mean, they're gonna need to brace themselves for all the shit i'm about to tell them.

"We know." My momma sighed and nodded along with my dad who looked like he couldn't give a single fuck about Messiah being dead.

I don't blame him though. Every time he sees that scar on Lay's arm from getting grazed by that bullet, he's reminded of how close we were to losing her.

"I mean Duck gave me a quick li' rundown when y'all got back and he mentioned how they found out Messiah was really the one who killed B.. But I need you to tell me in detail what's going on 'cause something is clearly bothering you and it has been

for weeks. We gave you some time to recuperate but we're your parents, we don't wanna be sittin in the dark. " My dad clasped his hands together in front of him.

I sighed, "Basically while we were holding Messiah that night he said a lot of very surprising stuff that has lead me to believe that Bri'on dying is m-my fault." I said, swallowing the lump in my throat. Both of my parents' faces held confused expressions.

"Your fault? What do you mean your fault?" My momma reiterated, sitting up on the couch.

"The day that Bri on died, when we were walking back from the store, I was texting Messiah. He asked me for my location and I didn't think anything of it so I sent it.. Come to find out he used my location to figure out what street we were on to conduct the whole drive by." I looked up at my parents who had shocked looks on their faces.

"Son of a bitch." My momma mumbled.

"So-so how exactly do you think Bri'on dying was your fault? You just said with your own mouth that you didn't think anything of it. You were deceived, that's not your fault." My dad said.

"Okay but you guys both know how much Bri'on hated Messiah and I still messed with him for years. I ignored all of Bri'ons warnings, just to find out that he really was trying to keep me safe all along and that lead Messiah to killing him. H-how am I supposed to live with that?" My voice cracked as I bit my bottom lip to avoid bursting into a fit of tears.

"Baby, your dad just told you— you were manipulated. You were in love with that boy. Obviously you weren't gonna just take people's word when they were tellin' you to stop messing with him. Especially when they weren't being specific about HOW Messiah was bad for you and why you should stopped messing with him. He used your love for him to his advantage." My momma expressed and I sighed.

"Listen, feeling guilty isn't gonna help you now. Take me for an example. When Bri'on died I was so mad at myself for focusing on all that street shit instead of being where I was supposed to be; with my kids. I couldn't help but feel guilty for not giving Bri'on the proper father-son relationship that he deserved."

"But guess what? I learned to live with my mistakes because I can't change them nor can I make them right because the damage is already done. I learned from my actions and started prioritizing my kids cause that's all I really can do; correct the mistakes I made when it came to Bri'on." I nodded slowly and wiped my glossy eyes.

I was just getting my guts rearranged an hour ago and here I am crying in my parent's living room.. ain't that some shit?

My momma sighed, "Living with guilt is gonna make you miserable. Let that hurt go baby. You can't change the past. This shit has definitely taught you that you can think that you know a person so well and then turn out not knowing them at all. The difference between you and Bri'on was that B was able to see his true colors before you. Only reason for that is you were the one in love with Messiah." She explained.

"I don't think B would want you to be carrying all this guilt around because if we're being completely honest, they would've killed him either way. I'm telling you this because I seen it first hand when I

was runnin in the streets.. niggas will stop at nothing to get someone's head. Duck 'nem already told me how Bri'on knew some secret about Messiah and he was holding it over his head. That's why Messiah was after him in the first place, you were collateral damage used in the process." My dad explained. The room fell into silence while we all tried to process the conversation.

Talking about Bri'on's death was never really an open subject in our household. Everyone dealt with his death differently and in worse ways than the other. I got real depressed, started failing school, popping pills. My dad started not coming home at all and would spend all hours of the day dealing with the streets. And my momma shut everyone out.

Eventually we learned to live with the circumstances of his death but finding out all this new information is reopening old wounds.

"I get what y'all mean." I finally said, making them nod.

"Now that we've got that out of the way, is there anything else you wanna tell us?" My dad sighed, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees.

I blew out a breath. "Due to my surgery the doctor said I won't be able to get pregnant and if I do manage to get pregnant it'll most likely be a stillbirth." I explained, looking down in my lap before glancing up at my parents.

"I'm so sorry Mari." My momma spoke with a solemn expression on her face.

"Yea i'm really sorry, baby." My dad sighed.

Talking about the whole infertility thing always put me in a bad mood because having a kid and being pregnant wasn't really something I thought about 'till I met Samiron. And the thought of not being able

to experience that with him hurts like hell.

"How do you feel about it?" My dad leaned back on the couch.

"It hurts. Like shit. I know i'm still young and everything but experiencing pregnancy was something that crossed my mind a lot recently so knowing that I won't get to do it sucks." I said truthfully.

"I get what you mean. Did the doctor talk about exploring other options with you?" My momma asked.

"I have a checkup at the hospital next month so I might ask him then." I shrugged, making both my parent's nod.

"Okay and what about Soovy? How are you dealing with his death?"