[Chapter 29: There is a Reason]

"I won't help you."

If my confidence was a physical object, it would've shattered right then and there.

"Eh?" Was my response, my smile faltering. "Why not?" I asked, leaning closer to the pink. With my whole monologue and everything!

"Why do you want to change the future?" Their hands shot back, narrowed eyes at me. "If it goes as you said, then there's no need to do so."

"I want to save people!" I answered, not getting what their getting at. What's wrong with wanting that?

"Is that what you want?" They demanded, causing me to flinch as their stare. I only felt even more perplexed. Huh? "Or is it what you feel like you need to do?"

I resisted swallowing the lump in my throat, shifting the balls of my feet. "...what do you mean by that?" I knew exactly what they meant by that.

"People, even if you want it to be, aren't that selfless. It's possible that you just feel that because you know of the future, you are obligated to save those in danger." Shiori explained with quick fingers, blowing away a strand of hair, "Because if you don't, then you'll regret it forever."

My breath hitched. They're... they're right.

Because that was what exactly happened: I failed to save them and had a mental breakdown. Like the disgusting person I was. I just stared at the older person with wide eyes, a part of my facade breaking away.

He noted my silence, "It seems I was right." They sighed, turning away from me whilst signing at me. "If you don't have a genuine reason to change it then, I don't need a reason to help you."

"That guy's so blunt!" I whined with a soft thud of my fists hitting the covers. My cheeks were puffed out, quite annoyed from the interaction just a few hours ago. "And not in a good way!"

Hiro was still in his bed, a brow arched upwards as he sat down his book (didn't he already read that?). "You barged into my room just to say that?" The Hyuuga asked incredulously. He then blinked, shaking his head a little. "And who the hell are you talking about?"

"Shiori!" My voice was still in a higher pitch as if to accentuate how childish I sounded. It's not my fault, ok?! That little... gumball just right and I hate it!

"One of Tsunade-sama's right-hand man?" His facial features contorted em more out of confusion. "Why did you talk to him?"

"Hm?" I hummed in response, darting my eyes curiously. "Did I not tell you?"

"I swear to god if he's important to the plot—"

"He's also a reincarnated."

Hiro's jaw went slank, the light eyes of his dilating smaller. He seemed to go limb, a far-away look zoning into his features. Hehe, it's like he got told that he's giving birth to a giraffe. And within a blink— he exploded. "WHAAAAT?!?!"

I reeled back from the sudden volume. Wow, really sounding like Naruto right there. "Shuuuuuush, there are children here."

"You cannot fucking say that when you literally mentioned something so important!" The raven-head exclaimed exasperatedly, running his fingers into his hat with a loud yet tired sigh.

"I mean," I said with a shrug, "They don't know that this whole place was an anime so..." I trailed off. "Where was I going with this? I had a point."

"Exactly! You had no excuse!"

Came his irritated reply.

"Maybe it's cuz the author is writing this at 1:35 am instead of sleeping?"

"What."

"Oh— it's 1:36 now. I mean, what?"

"Ok," The hospitalized patient relaxed in his position, staring at me with narrowed eyes. "So why do we need him? If he refused, then it doesn't mean that the world's gonna end."

I giggled at his naïveté. "Ehehehe... but that's the thing," Leaning forward in my seat, I placed a palm under my cheek. "It's the goddamn Naruto world. For fuck's sake— anything can happen."

Hiro blinked, before huffing and shifting to his side, being mindful of the IV stuck in him. "Even so, why'd you trust him already? Don't you have to make sure he ain't... you know, evil?" Like Kugui, he left out.

"Not today!" I exclaimed, waving a finger in the air. "It's cuz he came with Tsunade, I doubt she'd not realize they're being suspicious!"

Hiro's eyes narrowed. "You have a lot of trust in her."

"She's the Hokage!" Came my reasoning. "So of course... actually, that's a bad reason." But she's also like the best Hokage so we'll excuse that.

The Hyuuga chuckled, opting to change the topic. "Alright, then why'd he say no?"

"Because he thinks I have no reason to!" I complained, pouting at the recent memory. "Like what's so wrong with simply wanting to save people?"

The heir furrowed his brows in silence, seeming in deep thought. "Eh?" I tilted my head. He would've replied by now. "Aren't you the type of person to instantly agree on me with this?"

"Oh— sorry," He mumbles out, snapping out of his daze. "It's just... I kinda agree with him."

"Oh really now?" I peered in closer, causing him to then lean back. "Well then, please educate this lowly peasant of your ways!"

Hiro sighed, "Can you not say it like that?" I only giggled, moving back to give him his personal space back. The younger male chuckled. "Ok then, Princess," He cleared his throat. Sitting up at he did so, making sure he didn't mess anything up. "I just think that... that not everyone's like that. That selfless, I mean."

"That's what he said too," I commented absentmindedly.

"I just—" Hiro cut himself off as he stared at the blank wall in front of him as if he didn't know how to articulate his things properly. "I just think that doing it simply for that is just being... naive. Or something like that." Makes sense, I thought with a hum. The boy shook his head, "Look I don't know how to explain it but," He then turned his head at me. "Do you have any other reason?"

I blinked, opening my mouth to reply with whatever remark only to realize that... I didn't have any. Wow, I couldn't help but think, why am I so speechless lately? Even though it went against my character, I looked away, my brows knitted together in thought. "I... I don't...?"

Do I really have one?

✪✪

A reason...

Setting my journal down, I leaned back against my chair and stretched out my arms. What the hell, I thought, remembering the interaction I had with the Uzumaki and then with Hiro. I crouched forward, gently placing my arms on the desk. "Really now..." I tugged on a strand of hair— what reason do I have other than that?

I closed my eyes as if that would do anything. Is... is there anything I desire? A personal benefit? I exhaled. Wouldn't just saving them be enough?!

Go deeper, there might something I just haven't figured out yet.

And so, I let myself drift into a never-ending whirlpool for thoughts.

Well, if I do get to do it then... The war might be much easier than the canon. Fewer people would die... there would be peace... everybody would be happy...

Fewer people wouldn't have to suffer...

I feel like I'm getting closer.

Naruto would be happy with Hinata. Neji would know what's it's like being an Uncle. Sakura would be happy. Mirai would have a father. Shikamaru and Ino would have their fathers. Maybe some of the Akatsuki could have a better life?

Closer...

They would be able to do anything...

Kugui would probably have a happier life...

I wouldn't have to worry Hiro as much...

Shiori could do whatever they wanted to do...

I could even spend time with Sasuke and Itachi—

Wait—

I felt like I was getting closer to my conclusion. All I had to do now was to grasp it.

Why would I want to spend time with them? Is it because they're fun to tease? Because they're my dumb idiots?

My chest tightened.

What do I feel about them?

And just like that, I found the answer.

My eyes snapped open. Though, it was a bit too fast as I suddenly lost balance on my seat.

"Woah...!" I let out, tumbling down ungracefully. Landing in a loud crash, I rubbed my back, turning to my side so I wouldn't be in that weird position. "Ow...!" I said that, however, my mind was not focused on that.

My lips tucked down as a slight bitterness entered my throat.

Ah.

I guess... even then...

I guess I couldn't shut all of her out.

"Here again." Shiori signed in what seemed to be dry motions, turning around to see where I stood in his place. I puffed out my cheeks, I get it, I'm a nuisance. Shush.

"There is a reason!" I exclaimed in a straightforward manner. Blinking, I back-peddled to a safer distance. "So I hope you'd hear me out." Unconsciously, my voice got softer. Their red eyes bore into mine, earning a suspenseful and intense silence. Please don't say no...

"Make it quick," I resisted the urge to gasp in joy. "I have poison to make."

Poison? No, that's not the point. "Ah— well," I stammered, actually not thinking they'd actually let me talk. It's weird... Usually, I'd be more prepared in these situations. "Uh..."

I took a deep breath, "You were right: I was mostly doing it because I felt obligated too!" I took a step forward. "But! I..."

Breaking eye-contact, I lowered my head, as if hesitant to even utter the words. Don't worry! I tried to assure myself. You're only compromising if you do this. "I also... wanted to do it so that..."

I gulped, it took all of me to actually admit this. "I would... have a

That's right.

That was my reason. My stupid and extremely selfish reason.

Even now, even when I reincarnated with a chance to forget, I yearned for it. I yearned for family. I yearned for it so much that I hated it.

I know that it's probably too late for mom and dad but...

But if there's a chance to still have a family with Sasuke and Itachi then... then I'll take it, no matter the cost.

"So please!" I bowed my body to them, clutching the hem of my skirt. My heart drummed so loud in my ears that it seemed to be the only noise in this room. "This is selfish of me but I need all the help I need!"

There was a silence, a long and painful one until I realized that uh, duh, they can't talk. My body was rigid, hesitant to the results. But even so, I rose. Raising my head up, I found myself looking at the ninja.

But this time, he was smiling. Albeit a tiny, minuscule one but, a smile nonetheless.

I gasped, my mouth stretching up to a smile of my own. Are they—?! "I'll help." They signed to me. It felt like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. Shiori then shrugged, "This was merely a test in the beginning anyway,"

I blinked.

"What." I couldn't help but utter, my body going rigid. "Haaaah?" I asked, tilting my head dumbfounded as I read their signs. For the first time since meeting them, they let out an amused laugh (they have a voice?!).

What the—?! "I needed to see what type of person you were." They shrugged, their smile turning into a small smirk as his eyes crinkled into ones showing... Arrogance?! "After all, to truly know someone, one must put them into such a situation that reveals their deepest thoughts."

I didn't dare bother hiding away my dumbfounded expression, that's... "THAT'S NOT FAIR!" I whined like the little kid I was.

What kind of was this?! I regret ever reaching out to them. I clutched my shirt, still in a flabbergasted state— I was bamboozled!