Aiyana, can we talk?I call out to her hesitantly, leaning against the doorframe as I watch her cuddle a sleeping Rayyan, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. She brushes away his curls, smiling down at him before tucking the duvet under his chin.

I don't know how long I spent staring at her, her brown eyes softening when she looks over to me, smile widening to display her pearly whites. In fact, I can swear my heart skips a beat at the sight; she just looks so fucking beautiful-relaxed and without a care in the world-she radiates a warm glow, and from the way her smile lights up the fucking room, I know I'm lucky enough to witness such a sight.

When I feel her presence, fingertips tracing patterns against my palm, I snap out of my trance. Aiyana laces our fingers together, her eyes following the tattooed lines across my wrist, thumb following in suit. Her touch is so gentle, so fragile, so soft, and I have to remember that I'm not what she makes me out to be. She treats me with such vulnerability that I have to remind myself that maybe, just maybe, she isn't like Mila.

And the thought makes me so fucking confused.

Judah,she calls out to me, peering up at me through her thick lashes. She chews on her lower lip, her gaze unwavering from my arm, Do your tattoos mean anything to you?

I'm too busy admiring her plump lips to answer her question, loving the sound of my name coming from her. It's soft, full of innocence and life, full of care. I don't even realise she's pulling me towards the spare bedroom until we're both sitting on the edge of the bed, our clasped hands in her lap. My eyes drop to her thighs, watching as she crosses her legs, her skirt riding up at the action before she shifts in position to face me.

I forget why I came up here, stuck in a trance, stuck on her, as the pads of her fingertips caress the tattoo on my neck. She leans in close, so close I can almost taste her, her sweet scent awakening my inner beast as she remains blissfully unaware of the hold she has on me. And when she rests her head on my shoulder, dainty palm positioned on the side of my neck, it takes an incredible amount of restraint to not curl my arm around her midriff and pull her onto my lap.

My arm slips under her own, resting my palm against the small of her back. Wisps of her hair tickle my knuckles, and before I know it, my fingers are running through her soft curls. She hums in satisfaction, a breathless sigh falling from her lips to kiss my skin.

I fucking smile at the sound.

There's a, uh... few, I guess,I murmur, gripping her small palm in mine when she lifts her head and traces the rose on my arm. Her touch is feather-like, gentle, sensuous, though I'm sure she doesn't do it intentionally. Our intwined hands are still in her lap when I point to the black flower she currently maps with her spare hand, Black roses in memory of my father.

Did you know black roses can also symbolise courage and strength, too?She says nonchalantly, dropping her hand to the hem of my shirt. Her fingertips brush the loose thread, before her hand disappears under the shirt. I tense up when I feel her palm glide across my abs, settling on my ribs. Perhaps you don't think to highly of yourself, but I really admire your strength, Judah. Your siblings are lucky to have you... I know I'd be-She pauses, lips pursed, until she shyly says, Can I see the lion tattoo on your chest?

Her voice is so low, I barely hear her. I'm burning in curiosity to know what she was about to utter before she stopped, but I don't question her. Her wide eyes stare up at me in expectation and awe, so when I nod my head, unable to say no to her pretty face, she grins to herself, lifting her head to place a kiss on my cheek.

And I'm stunned, to say the least.

It doesn't take her long to persuade me to slip off my shirt, because within the next minute or so, her palms are running down my chest, lips parted in awe as she tilts her head, analysing the roaring lion on my right pec. Is there a reason why you chose to get a lion tattooed onto your chest?She asks, her thick lashes fluttering as she blinks up at me.

I shake my head, I thought it looked cool. Nothing more, nothing less, and lions just so happen to be my favourite animal.

She nods in understanding, drumming her fingertips against my chest. When I first saw the lion tattoo, it reminded me of Aslan from Narnia,she admits sheepishly, ducking her head to avoid the embarrassment, before she quickly adds, But if it makes you feel better, Aslan was by far my favourite character.

I can't help but chuckle at her confession, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and pulling her towards me. We both fall back against the cushions, her palms resting comfortably on my pecs, before she drops her head to press her cheek against my chest.

Her sweet scent engulfs me, welcoming me with a warm embrace, before Aiyana pushes herself up using her forearms, moving her hands around my shoulders. Once more, I'm left speechless when she smiles down at me, her black hair falling over her shoulders and around us.

Believe it or not, Aslan's my favourite character, too,I say, lifting my hand to cup her cheek. Her skin is so fucking soft; it easily has to be one of my many favourite things about her. My thumb brushes her cheekbone, lips tilting up into a smile when she leans into my touch, her eyes fluttering close with a soft sigh. Fourteen-year-old me was really inspired by his moving words in The Voyage of The Dawn Treader,I tease, laughing when she cutely scrunches her nose.

You're so cute,she coos, her manicured fingers squeezing my cheeks, We should watch Narnia re-runs together the next time you're free, Judah. You've gotta explain to me what was so moving about Aslan's speech.

I think I prefer our Naruto re-runs,I say absentmindedly, rubbing my cheeks as a grimace overtakes my features. Aslan's cool, but Gamabunta is cooler.

Sure, we can watch Naruto, again... if you want me to spend the entire night crying,she frowns. Gamabunta scares me.

Everyone scares you, sweetheart,I muse, staring up at her as she straddles my waist, before I cross my hands behind my head. You little snowflake.

She makes a face, mocking my words and pinches my cheek. Are you the same guy that told Valentino you were scared of me? I'm an angel!

That prick.

Heat rises from my neck and scatters across my cheeks when I hear her words; I attempt to shake my head and laugh it off, but Aiyana simply raises an eyebrow. You're a little-slightly, just a little bit-scary,I say, removing a hand behind my head to brush back the wisp of hair that had fallen over her shoulder.

I am not,she defends, knitting her eyebrows together in confusion. I'm... nice? Oh my God, Judah-do I have a resting bitch face? What if-

I slap a palm over her mouth and pull her towards me, she drops against me with a soft thud when I speak, Shut up. I was just joking,I grumble. You've got a pretty face, Aiyana. Pretty enough to stare at.

She groans against me, shifting uncomfortably until she stops. And when I wrap my arm around her shoulder, letting her rest her head on my chest, she relaxes in my arms, our legs entangled and hands entwined. She resumes exploring the tattoos on my body, her touch leaving a trail of goosebumps.

I tilt my head, focusing my attention on her face, concentration etched on her features.

You have Valentino's name inked onto your body,I hear her say. Can I ask why?

Dahlia, Leilani, Jesmyn and Kenji, too. I'm nothing without them,I murmur, absentmindedly drawing patterns on her bare waist. I hug Aiyana's small body, bringing my lips to the crown of her head.

You're so comfortable... I like it when you hold me,she mumbles, a soft sigh of pleasure slipping from her lips, and her words almost falling upon deaf ears, And I like it when you hold my hand, too.I glance down at our interlocked hands, against the bedsheets, holding her hand a little tighter when I hear those words.

Aiyana and I both know there's a conversation needed to be had, but I can't help but hold it off.

There's so much I want to say to Aiyana, so much I want to tell her; but I don't want to upset her, nor get her hopes up, but the longer I stay here, the more my moral compass gets a little fucked. I shouldn't be behaving the way I am when I'm only going to disappoint her, though I can't help it. Aiyana has me wrapped around her finger, and I wasn't ready to dive into a relationship to appease my siblings.

So I stay like this, just a little longer.

idk wtf this chapter was oops

p.s. judah is stupid. so stupid.