TW: Grief

Pov y/n

During breakfast the next day, Bennett tells us that after yesterday, he decided to go to the lake to practice his skills in ice skating.

Marla immediately says she wants to come with him because it for sure will be funny to watch.

Rose also wants to go with them and after a quick talk with Scarlett, Marla and Bennett promise to keep Rose safe while Rose promises to listen to them. Mom wants to visit one of her friends that was alone over Christmas, since her children live too far away.

That leaves Scarlett and me to do whatever we want.

After breakfast, we wrap up Rose in her warm clothes and wave when she goes off with Marla and Bennett, who only found his old skates in the basement but they fit Rose, so they'll try that. Mom also says goodbye and Scarlett and I close the door behind her.

"What are we gonna do today?" She asks and softly wraps her arms around my waist.

"How about I show you the city a little bit?" I offer and she nods happily, pecking my lips.

"Sounds like a good plan." She agrees and I smile.

We promised to take care of the dishes after breakfast, so that's what we do first and after that we clean the kitchen surfaces until it's all clean again.

Scarlett's phone vibrates and she looks at it, her expression turning annoyed when she looks at it and she excuses herself to make a quick call.

I let her go and go back into the living room, seeing if there's anything I could clean up.

But it's all clean, so I just step to the fireplace and look at the picture of me that Scarlett liked so much yesterday.

What she said about me potentially carrying our child makes me more excited than it should be. We're together for two and a half months, it's definitely too soon to think about children of our own.

My eyes linger on the picture for a few more seconds until they move around and settle on another picture. I step closer and look at it.

It shows Marla, Bennett and me on our living room couch with me between them. Behind us there are Mom and Dad, their hands resting on the backrest and we all beam into the camera.

I remember that day very well. It was for a project for one of Bennett's classes back then. It was about family and heritage and he should bring a family portrait and since we didn't have one until then, we took one the next day. The twins must have been around ten at that time. Mom looks so incredibly happy and so does Dad.

My finger gently traces over the picture and his face, he always loved Christmas and to spend the day with all of us.

I press my lips together as the well known sadness tries to creep up on me.

When I hear Scarlett coming down the stairs, I turn around to look at her. As soon as she sees my face, she hurries to get to me and cups my face.

"What's the matter, angel?" She asks softly and I chew on the inside of my cheek.

"Do you think it's possible...to visit my Dad's grave?" I silently ask and look down at my hands that play with the hem of her hoodie, afraid she might think it'd be weird.

"Of course, my love. Do you want me to be with you?" She asks softly and I look up at her, almost expecting to see hesitation in her eyes but there isn't.

"You would want to come with me?" I ask and search her eyes. She nods.

"Yes. But only if that's okay with you. If it's too personal, I fully understand that." She says and I lean a little into her one hand.

"I would like it if you came with me." I answer, my voice still silent.

"Then it'll be my honor." She says and leans forward to give me a soft kiss.

Her lips are warm and soft and feel just right on mine. When we pull away, she tugs a strain of hair behind my ear.

"Wanna head out now or a little later?" She asks softly, keeping the atmosphere as calm as it just was. I give her a little smile.

"Now." I answer and she nods before letting go of me, so we can get ready.

We get into warm clothes and I grab my keys before we head out. Since Mom took the car, we have to walk but it's not too far away, only like a 15 minute walk. Scarlett almost automatically takes my hand and wraps her other arm around that arm, walking close to me. I enjoy it and kiss her cheek, one of the few parts of her face that isn't covered in a scarf or hat.

"Who did you have the call with?" I ask casually as we stroll down a street.

"My manager called, something about my acting job next year. They rescheduled a few things and she informed me about it. It doesn't really change a lot, I will just spend some more time in studios now, which I don't mind because they are closer to my house." She explains and I look at her in surprise.

"I know, I was also confused that the producers worked on Christmas but whatever floats their boats I guess." She shrugs but I shake my head, that wasn't what I was surprised about. Well, also but not mainly.

"You have a house in LA?" I ask and she seems to remember she never mentioned it.

"Oh right, yes I do." She confirms and looks at me, trying to figure out how I feel about this.

"Wow." Is the only thing I can say so far. Sometimes I honestly forget that she has a lot of money because it's not important for me and also because it's not a daily topic.

"That's impressive." I add and she smiles softly, squeezing my arm a little.

"It definitely makes it easier when I have to film over there." She says and I nod, makes sense.

"Did your manager say anything else? Like maybe that you don't need to be gone that long?" I ask and look at her with hopeful eyes. She sighs a little and shakes her head.

"Sadly no, baby. I still will go in February and film for about three months." She denies and I sigh as well.

"I will miss you a lot." I admit and she leans her head against my shoulder.

"I will miss you too." She replies. "But we will make it work. I believe in us."

I smile a little and kiss her cheek.

"I believe in us too."

We walk in silence for the next few minutes until we reach the cemetery.

My mood changes almost immediately but not directly into sadness, more like heaviness because I am aware how many loved ones are here and couldn't spend Christmas with their families.

My hold on Scarlett's hand tightens a bit. I guide her through the graveyard to the place my Dad is buried.

When we stop in front of his grave, I press my lips together a little bit. My eyes wander over the tombstone and I slowly let go of Scar's hand to kneel down in front of it. I wipe away some dirt from it and remove leaves that stuck to it, revealing my Dad's name.

When I see it, I gulp a little and feel a knot forming in my throat that makes it harder to swallow.

My fingertip grazes over the engraved name and I don't notice how I whisper his name. I read over the words we engraved underneath his name and date of death.

As long as you are loved, you can't be forgotten. You will always live on in the hearts of your children and your wife.

He was such a great man, he didn't deserve to die, he had so much more plans.

I feel a bit of frustration bubble up inside me and I hold onto the stone, my grip getting tighter as I think about it. Dad was amazing and the best father I could have wished for. He would always have my back without any questions asked.

Tears sting in my eyes and when I blink, they find their ways down my cheeks. The familiar ache in my heart makes its presence known and I take a shaky breath before slowly letting go and getting up.

I look back to Scar, who took a few steps back to give me privacy. When I reach for her, she comes to stand next to me. She softly wipes away a few tears from my face but other than that, she doesn't say anything.

"Hey Dad." I start quietly and glance over to Scarlett to see if she finds it strange that I talk to my dead father. But she doesn't, so I continue.

"I brought someone with me today. This is Scarlett, my girlfriend. We've been dating for quite a while now and are in a relationship over two months now. She is really great and I know you would have liked her." I introduce her and she smiles a little at the grave and I notice her other hand twitching as if she wanted to wave at my Dad.

"We meet on a train to New York, where I now live. She has a daughter, Rose and I adore that little sunshine with my whole heart. I know, if you were still alive, you would have adored her too. You would have played with her and goofed around and if the weather would be a bit warmer, you would have taken her on a quad tour with you, always driving safely, of course." I say and it feels good to talk to him, telling him about all this.

Scarlett doesn't seem to mind it at all as her gaze darts from the grave to me and back.

"And you would have loved Christmas, you always did. You sang silly songs with us and we would always roast marshmallows over the fire, even though Mom didn't like when we did it." I sniffle a bit as the tears well up again at the memory.

"Mom made the matched potatoes just like you always loved them. I don't think she realizes it anymore but she does it anyway. I remember how you would steal spoonsful of them before dinner and how Mom always complained and threw you out of the kitchen. But she was never really angry, more amused. And then, the year before you..., you came into my room the night before Christmas morning and told me how proud you were of me for following my dreams and how much hard work I put into college. You sat there with me for hours...picturing my graduation ceremony after I...after I made my doctor...you told me about how...how you would stand in the very first line to cheer for me...to show everyone how proud you were that I...that I made it."

The last part is interrupted by sobs as the memory of that night flashs before my eyes and I see him sitting in front of me in his Christmas pajamas, holding my hand and telling me that I was a gift to this world and that one day I will reach everything I ever dreamed of. Tears stream down my face.

"You didn't deserve to die...not this early..." I press out and the knot in my throat grows and so does the ache in my heart.

"You were the best Dad in the world." I choke out before silent sobs make my body shake and my legs give up to hold me up.

I sink onto my knees but am caught by Scarlett before I can hit the ground too harshly. Words aren't able to come out anymore, so I just think them.

I'm sorry, it took me so long to come here again but I wanted to come back when I found myself again, when I knew who I wanted to be and what I wanted to do. I wanted to come back when I found true happiness again and now I did. My happiness lays within Scarlett and her daughter. They helped me to figure out my live in New York and were by my side and soon I will start a new job, a job that I always dreamed of. I would also be happy without them but they bring me so much more than I ever expected and I never want to lose any of them. I want them to be in my life forever and I want to show them my love and appreciation as long as possible.

I feel my bottom lip shiver and suck it in to contain it. The ache is still there and the sadness too but I feel lighter, now I told him all that and now that he knows Scarlett and that I am on the best way to achieve my dreams.

He deserves to know that since he always supported them and never doubted them once, not even the slightest bit.

I take a shaky breath and feel Scarlett's body embrace mine as she puts her arms around me, holding me steady. She doesn't say anything else and lets me process, think and grieve. She can't know it but this right here means more to me than I can express and I am beyond thankful for her.

I lean my head against her a bit and she kisses my forehead as her hand slowly rubs circles on my back. When our eyes lock, I see softness and sadness in them. She gives me a sad smile and I try my best to return it.

Without noticing it, I mirror her breathing and my body calms down, the knot in my throat still there but it's slowly shrinking.

The last few tears spill from my eyes and I close them for a few seconds, just breathing in the cold air around us and feeling Scarlett's body close to mine, giving me comfort and a bit of warmth. When I open my eyes again, I look at her again and am finally able to smile. She returns it and when I move to get up, she lets go of me and stands up as well, wiping off some dirt from her coat before slipping off her gloves.

I am confused about that but when she puts them into her coat pocket and cups my face softly, I don't question it anymore because feeling her skin on mine feels just too nice. With the pads of her thumbs, she softly wipes away the strains of my tears before kissing my cheeks. I smile at her, my love for her undeniably endless.

"I love you." I whisper and her eyes start to sparkle.

"I love you." She replies and I lean closer to connect our lips in a short kiss.

After I pull away, she takes her hands off my face and I turn around to the grave again.

"Goodbye Dad, see you the next time." I say and even though it still hurts, knowing I'm not alone with my grief right now and knowing I don't have to hide it, helps me a lot.

Scarlett waves a little at the grave.

"Goodbye, Mr. y/l/n (your last name), it was an honor to meet you." She says and I almost start to cry again, this time because I can't express how much she means to me and how much I love and adore her.

I hold out my hand for her to take and she does so. With a last blown kiss towards the grave, I nod and we slowly make our way out of the cemetery. We don't talk, we just walk next to each other, our hands linked and our thoughts free to go where ever they want.

"Thank you for brining me along." Scarlett says when we turned to follow a street towards the town."

"Thank you for coming with me, for understanding and for letting me cry." I reply and her eyes grow soft.

She doesn't need to answer, the way her hold on my hand tightens tells me that she will always be there for me when I need her and that she will always respect that I am still processing his loss.

A/n: Quite a sad chapter, I hope you're all okay. If anyone needs/wants to talk, my dm's are always open.

Thanks for reading and love to you all