I take my cigarette out of my pocket.

After smoking two full joints with Bati, Serva, Allie and Alex, I just headed outside to get some fresh air. Everything is turning around me, and I feel my body having a hard time dealing with gravity laws right now. When I hear someone getting closer to me, I just roll my eyes, thinking that it's Emily with lame excuses or something.

But it's definitely not Emily. I thought that when I turned around, but with further consideration, I can understand why I thought it was her : a blonde girl is standing right here, arms crossed on her chest.

"Emma ?" I ask, surprised.

Wait, she just got out of a two-year coma, why the hell is she going to a party only two weeks after she woke up ? She must've seen my grin, because there is a smile lightening her face a little bit.

"Lindsey" she says in a genuine tone. "You don't seem really happy to see me"

"It's not that" I assure her, smirking. "I just didn't think you'd be that... fit, when I met you and then... I mean, you look great, you seem... okay." I blurt out.

She smirks. "Right" she lets out, probably making fun of my face and problems with my talking. "I wanted to talk to you."

"You found me" I say.

She seems to hesitate a second.

"Emily didn't send you that text."

"What ?" I let out, half-relieved, but also half-upset. I frown, and then my voice comes out as aggressive : "I'm going to kill your mom, I swear to God-"

"I did" she cuts me.

I look at her, truly surprised. What the hell is going on here ? Why would she do something like that ? She didn't look like a psycho. God, I totally regret even talking to her right now : I wasted some precious time to go and talk to her the day before she woke up, and that's how that bitch thanks me ? I know alcohol is increasing bad thoughts, but I just can't help but throw a death glare at her.

As I am setting my jaw and trying to keep a straight face, I say :

"Why ?"

That makes her smile. "I lied to the doctors" she explains, as if it is not that big of a deal. "I do remember things from when I was... away"

"That is ?"

"Like, you confessing you like my sister, for instance ?" she ironically says.

"I never said..." I begin, and then cross my arms against my chest. "I said 'might' like her, it's not like I really like her or something I-"

"You do like her. You're so obvious, so don't lie to my face" Emma interrupts me in a cold tone. "I know what kind of person you are, Lindsey, and I don't want my sister to be influenced by such a messy person as you are"

"I beg your pardon ?" I ask, really angry this time.

"Look at you" she says as an answer. "You only drink to forget the ton of problems you have, probably a messy childhood, and I guess some family drama ?" she then goes on, psychoanalyzing me or something. "You're a mess. A damaged person, and I don't want Emily to hang out with someone like that. No offense."

"You know what, Emma ?" I start, feeling my anger grow inside of my stomach. "I really thought your mother was the biggest bitch of all. But that was before I met you."

She smirks, and says in an arrogant tone : "You can think whatever the hell you want about me, but I want to protect Emily. You know I'm right : you have zero chance with her."

"Do I ?"

She frowns.

"Don't brag" she hisses, grabbing my forearm. She squeezes it, and her nails attack my skin. I frown too. "You're not good enough for her."

I know.

With that said, she just leaves because she sees some of my teammates coming near me. She greets them with kindness, while I am just asking myself : is the right ? I mean, I know I'm a mess, and I probably am the one that is damaged. I mean, I'm always keeping my feelings and emotions hidden inside of me, always talk with anger filling my voice, am faking the fact that I don't know anything about Allie's discovery on my dad, and so on.

I look at the start, drinking bottoms up. I know it's gonna be a long night, but this drink is the end of me.

**

"Lindsey ?"

I hear a worried voice, and then people moving around me. I am obviously lying on the ground, since it's a very cold surface. I suddenly feel very bad, so I open my eyes, roll to the side and start puking. I feel people backing off because somebody tell them to, and then a strong female voice asking for towels.

Once I puked everything on the ground, I just sit down and look around. Danny is the first person I see, followed by Allie - who is tapping my cheeks to see how I am doing - and also half of her team. I smirk. Shit.

She doesn't seem to be very happy about that.

"Lindsey, why did you do that to yourself ?"

Do what ? I ask myself.

Then, I remember. I went inside to get something to drink, ended up kissing some random dudes, only to finish my race for alcohol on that very ground, thinking that watching the stars with the whole world turning was a good idea. I probably fell asleep or something.

Once there only is Allie, Danny, Sam and Abby (that joined the fun, apparently), I sigh and put my hands on my face.

"Shit" I let out.

Allie looks at me. She seems more worried than angry, for now at least. I sigh again, and then look at my friends around me.

"Come on baby girl, I will walk you home" Allie says, initiating the move.

I shake my head, trying to get up, but fail. "No, I don't want your night to be ruined" I say, this time getting on my feet.

I almost bump into Sam, who holds me for a while. I finally find my balance back, but Allie doesn't seem happy with my answer.

"I don't want my sister to hurt herself or something" she says, bitter.

"I won't" I promise.

"No, I meant hurt yourself by falling or something" she clears it out.

We all start laughing, more and more, until I totally freeze. Damn, it's cold in here. Sam and Abby seem worried.

"You know what ?" Danny says in a confident tone. "I was just about to head home. It's on my way, and I am not drunk enough to fall with her, so I guess I can hold her."

"There's no way I stay here when she's such a mess" Allie says, thankful for that proposition.

I roll my eyes. "Guys, I'm right here."

"You sure are" Allie answers, rolling her eyes at me. She then puts her arm around my waist, to that I can rely on her shoulders. "C'mon, we better go. What about watching one of those stupid movies you like so much ? Uhn ?"

"Y-yeah" I stammer.

Sam smirks. "I will walk Abby back to her dorm" she says, giving the blonde a shy look.

The defender nods, and Allie and I are on our way back to our house.

After we left Danny to the team, and then Sam and Abby to their bus - they seem to be in a very deep talk as soon as we left them - Allie starts laughing. The situation is so awkward, and she knows she's not mad only because of alcohol. Bati has been joining us, so now I am just walking in between them, relying on both.

The dark-haired just looks at me and smirks.

"Bro, you look awful" he lets out.

"Shut up" Allie and I both say.

That makes us laugh. This is the longest way home ever. And all this time, the only thing I can think about is her. It's not that I want to think of her, but I just can't help it it seems. Even though I am trying to hate her very hard.

That never works with her.

(A/N : thanks for the kind support. I truly appreciate every comment and every like.)