Right now the team is at meeting before we are released for our off day. The team is weirdly sitting in a circle. As I sit down everyone is talking about what they want to do on our off day and eventually I am asked.

"So Cairo what are you doing today?" Carli asks and all eyes fall on me.

"I'm going to go see stuff from when I lived here."

"Is anyone going with you?"

"No, but anyone is welcome to come along."

"What would we be doing and what would we need?" Alex asks.

"Well we would go to the grocery store where I worked at so everyone can get snacks and drinks there for lunch. Then we will visit my favorite park. And I'd bring a pillow, a blanket, and something to occupy yourself with because the last place is two hours away. If you don't want to go to that I understand, but I'm going with or without you so whoever wants to go with me meet me back here in 25 minutes with all the stuff you need." I say and once everyone understands I head up to my room and shower and change before grabbing the things I need for today and head back down.

Once back in the conference room I'm surprised to see everyone here. Good thing I called for the team bus.

"We're all going." Christen says.

"Okay well the bus is here so let's go." I say and the team follows me out to the bus.

Once on the bus I tell the driver where to go then go and sit in the middle and Lindsey sits next to me after she gets onto the bus. Twenty minutes later we are stood in-front of the Bónus I worked at when I lived here. Once I see everyone is out of the bus I start speaking.

"Alright so welcome to Bónus, the grocery store I worked at. Does everyone have a way to pay for the stuff they want?" Everyone nods. "Great... so let's meet at the front of the store in 30 minutes. And if you don't know what something is just ask me alright?" Everybody agrees and I walk in and once inside I remember where everything is making me smile.

As I'm waiting with the team for everyone to pay for what they want for lunch someone comes up behind me.

"Það er eins og þú manst?" The person says. (Is it like you remember?)

I smile and turn around. "Hólmar...hvernig hefur þú verið?" I say then hug him. (Hólmar...how have you been?)

"Ég hef verið góð. Hver er þetta?" He says and points to the team who all are behind me. (I've been good. Who's this?)

"Það er gott. Þetta er mitt lið. The US National liðið." I say and motion for the team to come closer.(That's good. This is my team. The US National team.)

When the team gets close enough I turn around to them. "Girls this is my old boss Hólmar... Hólmar these are the girls."

Hólmar smiles and nods." It's nice to meet all of you."

"Oh so you do speak English" Kelley says causing everyone to laugh.

"Yes I do. Cairo and I just speak in Icelandic with each other."

"It's a very beautiful language." Lindsey says and a few of the girls nod.

"What are you guys doing here?" Hólmar says

"It's our off day and the team wanted to know more about what I did when I lived here." I say.

"Hafa þeir séð bakherberginu?" He asks me. (Have they seen the back room?)

"Nei" (No)

"Viltu sýna þeim?" (Do you want to show them?)

"Viss"(Sure)

I turn to the team to address them. "I need to show you guys something so follow me."

They do and we walk to the back room. Once there I open the door and motion for them to go in the big room.

"So this is Hólmar's office and where I slept sometimes." I say.

"What did you sleep on?" Tobin asks.

"Hólmar had a cot in here."

Carli turns to Hólmar and looks pissed. "Why didn't you take her to your house?"

"I offered, but she always declined." He chuckles. "She was very persistent."

I check the time. "Okay well we need to go guys." I say and everyone leaves and Hólmar walks us up to the front. Once up there he stops and talks to the team.

"It was nice to meet you all."

"It was nice to meet you as well." The team say and walk out to the front of the store. I stay back.

"It was really good to see you Hólmar." I say while hugging him.

"It was great seeing you too." He says and we break the hug and I walk out to see everyone on the bus so I get on and tell the driver where to go. Once I sit down I let some tears go.

"You alright?" Lindsey asks and she wipes the tears away.

"Yeah. I just didn't expect to see him."

"He seemed like a great guy."

"He really is." I say then lean my head on her shoulder and play with her fingers during the ten minute drive to the next place.

Ten minutes later we arrive at Hljómskálagarður park.

"Um so I thought we could eat here so yeah lets do that." I say when we get off the bus.

Everyone spreads out into little groups to eat. I went and ate on a bench alone overlooking the pond. After a while I finish eating and throw away my trash then lay on the all too familiar bench. I just laid there listening to the families walking by, the birds flying, the sound of the water and the talking of the team for a while till the team is done eating.

"Babe" I hear Lindsey say so I look up and notice the team coming over. I smile at them and stay on the bench.

"What are you doing Cairo?" Christen asks.

"Reacquainting myself with my bed." I say then look at the bench.

"How did you sleep here?" Ash asks.

"I hated asking people for things."

"Why this bench?" Alex asks.

"It had a good view of the water and it was close to the grocery store."

"Where did you sleep when it was cold?" Kelley asks.

"The back room of the grocery store."

"Where did you shower?" Ali asks.

"There was a shower in the grocery store. Hólmar had one put in because he works out during lunch."

"Cairo why didn't you ask for help?" Becky asks.

"Ever since I've been on my own I just did stuff for myself and hated asking for help. I don't regret it because it got me to where I am." I say and Christen wipes a tear I didn't know had fallen. "Alright lets get to the bus and I'll take you to a bathroom so everyone can do their business and then we will head to the last place." Everyone nods so we head to the bus to go to the bathroom.

The last stop on the trip was one I was dreading. I was the last person on the bus after we went to the bathroom so I told the bus driver the directions to where I wanted him to go then went and sat at the back of the bus alone. As I was walking back everyone saw my defeated expression and they didn't understand why I looked that way, but they soon would. I guess seeing me sad made the rest of the team sad because all talking stopped and everyone looked at me when I sat in the back.

Two hours later we arrive at the spot. Once we get there nobody moved, probably because they didn't know where we are and what I wanted to show them. After like ten minutes I take three things out of my bag then walk up to Carli and Becky.

"Can I have ten minutes before you guys come out? I'll explain after I...I just need time for myself."I whisper so only they can hear.

"Of course. We'll make sure nobody gets off." Carli says.

"Thank you." I say then get off the bus. After I take like ten steps I turn back to see if anyone got off and thankfully nobody did, but all of the girls are on the side of the bus closest to me looking out the window to me. After seeing that I turn around, walked to a cliff overlooking the area, and just stood there looking at the landscape.

After a couple minutes of standing there I look at one of the things I grabbed from my bag that's in my hand.

A gun.

I just stared at it for like thirty seconds before throwing it over the cliff. Soon after I felt the tears on my face.

I shouldn't have come here, but I need closure.

I needed to do this.

- - - - -

After Cairo got off the team started to stand up.

"STOP." I yell making everyone freeze. "Everyone sit down." Everyone does and Becky and I head to the front of the bus. Once there we tell the driver to shut the door then we address the team.

"Cairo wants ten minutes by herself. This place has a lot of significance to her so we will allow her." I say.

"Yeah, but since I know we are all concerned everyone needs to look out for her today alright. This is the one time where I don't care if you're nosy." Becky says and the team nod and then all the team go to the side with the windows facing Cairo and watch her.

"What is she looking at?" Mal asks after a couple minutes of Cairo staring at seemingly nothing.

"What is she holding?" Lindsey asks when Cairo looks at the thing in her hand.

"Why did she throw it?" Kelley asks after we see her launch the thing she was looking at.

"Lindsey." I say to get her attention. "She needs you. Go be with her. We'll be right behind you." She nods and gets off the bus

- - - - -

I only heard one pair of footsteps then about 10 seconds later I hear everyone else file out of the bus and the team huddled around behind me. They all stayed silent. They were waiting for me to talk.

Finally one of them spoke.

"Where are we Cairo?" Lindsey asks while wrapping her arms around me from behind me and resting her chin on my shoulder.

"Vík í Mýrdal, Iceland"

"What did you throw?"

"A gun." I say causing the team to muffle their gasps. I guess they're close enough to hear so I turn around and beckon them closer so I don't have to explain more than once.

"Why did you have a gun?" Lindsey asks.

I pass Lindsey the drawing I've been holding, which was one of the things I grabbed from my bag. She then passes it around for the team to look at.

"That is my absolute favorite drawing I've ever done and my most hated drawing I've ever done. I love it because of how good it is, but I hate it because of the memories it brings up."I let out a big sigh. "This is the place where everything almost ended. After I came to Iceland I didn't know where to go or what to do. So once I landed I just started walking and kept walking for two days and ended up there." I say pointing to the building in-front of us." Once I got there I sat on the side of the building and just cried. I didn't want to live anymore. After everything the went on I couldn't stand that nobody loved me. I couldn't handle knowing my own grandparents didn't want me. I couldn't come to grips with the fact that I was raped. I just wanted to end it. I tried to end it, but the caretaker of the building came out because I guess he heard me crying and he found me just staring at the gun. He talked me down, but I never let go of the gun. I kept it until today and now it's down below." I point down the cliff at the gun and everyone looks down. I notice some of them have glossy eyes. "I took you here today to show you why I'm so closed off, to show you why I bottle everything up, why I free dive. I...I took you here because I needed closure and I knew that if I didn't come here I would never get that closure...But I also took you here because I wanted to make a new memory here...With my family." Saying this caused the girls to coo.

This is the perfect time.

"Lindsey" I say and turn around and face her. "I took you here because I want this drawing to have a better memory." I then get down on one knee and pull out the ring causing everyone to squeal with excitement. "Now you know I'm not good at expressing my feelings, but I'm going to try." I notice most of the girls have their phones out recording this. "Lindsey after I got to Iceland I never thought I'd find love. I never thought I would have a best friend who I would go to the ends of the earth just to see for one second. I never thought I would make it this far, but I did. All because of you. Ever since that first night where we had team bonding and I sat next to you and we cuddled I knew you were going to be special. I just didn't know how special. Every time I'm away from you my heart hurts and I can't get you off my mind. I want to grow old with you. I want to have kids with you. I never want to spend a day with out you. Lindsey I love you with every fiber of my being and I want to spend the rest of time with you..." I take a deep breath.

I hope she says yes.

"Lindsey Michelle Horan will you marry me?"

"Yes, a million times yes." Lindsey says and I smile up at her and slip the ring on her left ring finger then get up and passionately kiss her. Man I love kissing her. We kiss for a what feels like forever until the jokesters decide to poke fun.

"Alright love birds...I don't want to see you two have sex." Kelley says causing both of us to giggle into the kiss and break apart.

"Well let's see the ring." Ali says and grabs Lindsey's hand and the rest of the team circle around her.

"Damn Cairo...Nice rock" Alex says. I nod and stand back and let everyone see it.

Everyone is talking about the proposal so I take this opportunity to slip away for the last thing I need to do to finally have closure. I put the drawing in my bag then I walk down the path to the building and stand in front of the building. It's weird being back here. The last time I was here I wanted to die. Now I want to grow old with Lindsey Michelle Horan. I want to do everything in life with her by my side.

After a little bit I sat down in the exact place I sat when I was last here. I sat and just cried.

I cried because I made it.

I cried because I didn't end my life all those years ago.

I cried because everything I've been through was worth it.

I cried because I have a family.

I cried because I'm finally happy

I cried because I finally found someone who loves me.

I cried because I finally had closure.

After a couple minutes of crying I see the team coming down the trail and I wanted to act like I wasn't crying, but I knew that my eyes would give away that I'd been crying so I just let the tears flow. The team got down to where I was a minute later.

"Baby...You okay?" Lindsey says and sits down next to me and wipes the tears from my eyes. The team sit down and form a semi circle around us.

"Yeah." I croak out and of course they don't believe me.

"Cairo what's wrong?" Christen ask from the other side of me.

"Just thinking about the last time I was here." The team look at me to continue. "Last time I was here I wanted to die...Now I have a family that I didn't know I needed. I have best friends who I would go to the ends of the earth for and I know they would do the same for me too. I actually have friends now." I took Lindsey's hand in mine. "I have a fiancée who I love and adore and want to live life with." The girls aww and Lindsey blushes so I kiss her cheek. " So yeah I think I finally have closure."

"You ready to go back to the hotel?" Ash asks after a little bit of silence. I nod and we head up the trail back to the cliff. Everyone climbs onto the bus while I take one last look at everything.

Lindsey stands with me and lets me have a moment to myself before we need to leave. "You ready?" She asks. I turn to her and peck her lips and then lead her to the bus.

Lindsey and I are last on the bus and I sit down and Lindsey sits on top of me and straddles me and puts her head in the crook of my neck. I run my fingers through her beautiful blonde hair and eventually she falls asleep. I'm about to fall asleep too when Mal comes over and puts a blanket around us and I sleepily mouth a thank you to her then quickly fall asleep with my arms wrapped around my beautiful fiancée.

Once back at the hotel I try to wake Lindsey up so we can get off the bus.

"Lindsey it's time to wake up."

"No" She mumbles into my neck.

"Okay hold on princess" I tell her and she grips on to me tighter so I can hold her and stand us up.

Once I'm in the aisle Lindsey wraps her legs around me so I put my hands on her thighs to support her and then turn around to see Ash has mine and Lindseys stuff. I thank her then take Lindsey off the bus, into the hotel, and up to the room. Once in the room Ash puts our stuff on the bed and leaves. As soon as the door shuts I lay on the bed and fall asleep with my soon to be wife cuddled up with me.

2 hours later there is a loud banging on our door so I try not to disturb Lindsey and go to the door and see its Emily.

"Yeah?"

"Hey dinner's in five minutes"

"Okay thanks Emily." I close the door then go over to the bed and squat down next to Lindsey who is still asleep. "Lindsey it's time to wake up...dinner is starting."

"I'm too tired." Lindsey mumbles.

"If you stand up I'll carry you."

Saying that is enough for her to stand.

Lindsey then wraps her arms around my neck and jumps so I catch her and put my hands on her ass to support her. I walk us to the elevator and after it gets to the lobby I walk us into the meal room.

"Alright love what do you want to eat? " I say after letting Lindsey down.

She leans in to whisper in my ear. "You" She says seductively then nips my ear.

"I meant for dinner not dessert baby. " I can tell Lindsey really wants to take me back up to the room by the way her eyes darken, but Jill approaches us.

"Congratulations guys." She says and hugs us.

"Thank you Jill." I say then Lindsey and I go get dinner and sit down with the team.

"You alright Lindsey?" Ash asks.

"Cairo's being a fucking tease." Lindsey mumbles causing the team to laugh.

"You started it."

"Yeah, but you took it a step up."

"Yes I did princess." I say then start eating.

Once we are released for the night Lindsey comes and picks me up then carries me up to the room.

Apparently Lindsey and I are very very VERY flexible.