tws: dysphoria, surgical talk, details of gentials ?, opinions, i guess

so, yes, i have been putting of this chapter, for many reasons.

firstly, the vast amount of content that will be put into this. i don't want to release it in parts because, as a whole, i believe it's best if this is all consumed together for a fuller concept of human genders complexity.

secondly, as someone who's identified as cis for the majority of my life, as well as been raised in a very conservative environment my whole life, up until high school i have had to educate myself on these topics, and i can never be sure my opinions are entirely correct. after all, there is no such thing as entirely correct, since we've just now started figuring out the science behind this stuff. as always, if i get certain facts wrong, please tell me, and i will do more research into them and correct myself, or even if there's something that would be important to add that i missed/didn't know. there will be points where i am unsure about things as well.

i think it's incredibly important having come from this background for people, cis, trans, or anywhere in between, to understand and be educated. writing and drawing trans characters is something that i myself find i tend to avoid because I'm afraid of misrepresenting them, but that shouldn't be the case. we barely see any trans representation in mainstream media, and not much even within the fanfiction community, and if we do, it's generally the same accidental fetishization or generalization unless it's written by someone who is trans themselves. which is completely understandable, because no one talks about how to write trans characters in smut, or even in general, so of course they aren't going to know how. correct and accurate representation can really help people to not only fell included, but also maybe even realize their own identity isn't what they thought it was (more later)

if you aren't educated, or you didn't know something and have misrepresented things before because you haven't had the opportunity to ask questions and have the privilege of becoming educated on these things before, i want you to know, this will be a safe space, so long as you're seeking to better and fix that. feel free to ask questions as you read, even if they seem stupid. we are all here to learn, after all. any hateful or rude comments will be deleted. i do check them all.

with that being said, onto some basics.

so, let's start with the difference between sex and gender.

sex is generally considered what's between your legs. you may hear "afab" or "amab" which means "assigned (female/male) at birth. generally, when you go to the doctors office and are asked for your sex, this is what they mean. however, there's more than just male and female. you can have mixed sex characteristics, where you would be intersex. (more on that later)

gender is a lot more complicated. gender is generally assumed to be what your brain is. so, for example, if you identify as female, you would be of the female gender, no matter what you have going on in your pants. no one knows just how many genders there are, and i could spend a whole other chapter on just the ones i know, but there is at least three, being of course, male and female, and also non-binary, which is all we will talk about for this section to get a basic understanding.

so, what makes the difference between a female and male?

believe it or not, it is not weather you have a penis or vagina, or whether you have an X or Y chromosome (there's more to sex than chromosomes, anyways, more later)

you can tell your homophobic uncle that, in fact, science has proved there is a biological difference between male and female brains and they can in fact not match up with someones assigned sex! so, at the very least on a scientific level, binary trans people do exist. also historically trans people have existed, too! in Ancient Greece or Rome, i believe (?) they used to blame it on the gods being drunk and accidentally giving the baby the wrong genitalia when they made them. non-binary people exist within history, too, in fact, Christian angels are without a gender in the Bible itself.

binary, btw, is in reference to the two "binary" genders, male and female. the defaults, if you will.

however, outside of what your brain looks like, there's plenty of other things that determine what you may identify as.

for example, let's say you are raised as a male, you have male genitalia, you're treated as cisgender. but you find you prefer being called she, and treated as a woman. you feel you'd rather have a vagina than a penis, or even just smaller things like being shorter, having smooth legs, wearing "women's" or more fractionally feminine clothing. that may mean you identify as a woman.

however, that does not mean you 100% are trans. you can have some of these and not others and be trans, like not wanting a vagina but wanting to have a more feminine face and be referred to as she/her. you could even have most all of these and still be a man. or, you could be somewhere in between, like non-binary.

gender expression and gender identity are often intertwined, which can leave things to get confusing like above.

truth is, clothes have no gender. imagine if women were never allowed to wear pants, that you being a woman and enjoying wearing pants meant you were supposed to be a trans man. it seems kinda ridiculous, right? in the same way, men enjoying wearing makeup or women enjoying having short hair does not make them any less woman or man. it's simply a preference, like preference of pants over skirts.

quick unrelated note to give your brain a break: it's not "transgenders" ffs, the plural of people who are trans is just trans people. also, people who were born female and transition into male are called trans men, while people who were born as male and transition into female are trans women. GRAMMAR BETTER

anyhow,

nonbinary

nb doesn't equal intersex, and intersex people usually identify as a binary- are they trans?

can mean you want intersex genitals

genitals don't have to match up with identity, some trans people experience dysphoria, some don't want the risks of surgery tho, some especially nb people want a mix or are okay with what they have

a lot of people may identify as something like trans masc or trans fem, or genderqueer. there's plenty of other identities too. however an important thing to note is trans masc ≠ trans man, as with trans fem ≠ trans female. it simply means they identify with more of a feminine or masculine identity, that is not nessisarily a male or female one. i won't go too much further into that one bc time but i just wanted to put out there, trans (masc/fem), ≠ trans (male/female)

also, anyone with a gender outside of what their assigned sex at birth was is transgender and extremely valid as such! nonbinary, trans fems, genderqueer, etc.

i'll admit i'm not the most educated on the difference between gender dysphoria and body dysphoria (relating to sex), but there is a difference and you can be trans and have one but not the other, or both! that's why some people may choose to never have any gender afforation surgeries or take any hormone therapy and still be completely happy.

either way, they are the gender they are, whether their body matches the typical idea of what that identity is "supposed" to look like or not.

speaking of which, and this is for you smut writers and artists, , pre-op, pre-transtion, and mid-transition trans people exist and have sex. really shouldn't be that hard of a concept.

guess what else? trans women? don't always have to bottom! trans men? don't always have to top!

(same is true for cis people but ofc y'all ain't ready for that yet smh)

plenty of trans people feel uncomfortable with certain things though, understandably, but they still can have and enjoy sex with a partner that's willing to respect that.

there's plentry of solutions for couples depending on the problem you're dealing with. there won't always be one that works, but it can certainly be a good thing to try!

for example, for non-binary people, you may say "front hole" and "back hole" is one that i've seen for afab nbs, or for trans women, referring to the penis as a clit (however this is also common in feminization).

it can be in actions too, like rubbing instead of stroking, or vice versa. things like strapons or cock sleeves/sheaths(yes, those are a real thing and not just a thing people call people as a dirty thing, apparently) for those with t-dicks along with lots of other specialized products specifically made for trans people pre and post transition.

of course, there's a chance there's gonna be plenty of parts to avoid altogether, or even avoid all parts until they get to the point with their body/in their transition where they're comfortable, and that's fine too. it may be as simple as "i wanna leave my shirt on" to "please don't touch the front at all" to "i'd rather just stick to kissing for now, thanks!"

and remember sex isn't just penetration! it can be oral only, handjobs, masturbating together, grinding, even just getting on a call together and having some fun. there's plenty of options and something to work for nearly everyone. and if not, that's okay too. but everything needs to be communicated first, especially in situations like these where people can get seriously distressed sometimes.

another thing to remember, hormones are not a contraceptive.

let's say you've stopped your period after taking testosterone. you could still technically get pregnant. testosterone can cause birth defects if you are pregnant while taking it, as well.

there isn't as much research into fertility and stuff in trans men, but those two facts i know for sure are true. there are some factors such as how long you've been taking it and such that may also play a role in it all too.

basically just don't get pregnant/get someone pregnant please ahsjska

oh also hormones change your body, don't forget! trans men on t will often eventually get more body/facial hair, gain muscle, eat more, grow what's called a t-dick, and feel more horny or angry. trans women may get weaker, have their body hair get thinner and lighter or stop in some areas, they may eat less, get more emotional, and have their hair and nails grow faster/longer.

hormones will also cause changes in feelings, not only emotional, but being turned on will feel different too. trans guys may find that it feels harder to focus on anything but being turned on, that the arousal tends to be more physically focused rather than mental/physical mixed and more centralized to the penis area itself rather than "touch me all over". after they get off once, they may not feel the want/need to get off again, like "okay I'm good now", while trans women may find the opposite.

they'll be a lot of surprising things like an unexpected newfound strength or frailness with the quick physical changes too that are good to work into writing.

some of your favorite characters? maybe they're trans and you'd never know. example, dsmp!Fundy? canonically a trans guy. Saiki K? he's trans in the manga, fuck you every major anime production company in Japan for LGBTQ+ erasure btw, this is why you read the manga and watch the anime

THEY ARE TRANS AND I'M TIRED OF ACTING LIKE THEY'RE NOT

not that it matters it's just FUCK can we PLEASE get a CRUMB of representation without ERASURE, pLEASE

just something to keep in mind ^-^

pronouns are pretty weird, we use them all the time

they're things like she and her, he and him, or they and them

generally, she/her is the more feminine and he/him is the more masculine, and they/them is thought of as used for more nonbinary people, however whatever pronouns you're comfortable with don't actually have to be refective of your gender.

let me repeat, pronouns ≠ gender.

for example, i feel comfortable being refered to with she/her, but also he/him and they/them, but i identify as a woman(?). it doesn't really matter to me what you call me to me. however for a lot of people it's really important.

if people were to refer to you as it/its/itself and refused to use anything else, it'd probably make you feel uncomfortable and disrespected. it's the same for people who ask you to use their preferred pronouns and people calling them whatever they think they should be called instead.

neopronouns are a thing too, tbh idk much about them so idk what to say, but no matter what your viewpoint is, it's not hurting anyone. it won't hurt you to use them, and it makes that person happy, so if that's how they wanna be referred to, why wouldn't you do it? english is a bullshit language anyways. idk man it's mostly a twitter thing but fuck it you guys get a paragraph, some of em are funky n cool so

aight clearly i'm getting too far into this, so that's it for the basics.

if i got something wrong, i'm vvv sorry i stg i'm not trying to be an asshole or ignorant in any way, just educate and see better more accurate and diverse representation of trans people in smut/writing in general! pls i swear i'm just dumb asf ;-;

this is by no means completely comprehensive, so if i'm not cancelled for this i can always add a second part, what would you guys wanna see in it if at all?

also i think i wanna do a chapter on things i personally love to see, because i'm tired of just correcting things that are wrong smh, need some positivity up in this bitch rn, so what are your favorites?