Silence is Suicide.

Chapter Twenty-Two.

Later, I drowsily re-awoke with Jeremy hovering over my face. He had a toothy smile plastered on.

"They said you'd wake up around this time. Come on, it's time to take you home."

I stared at him. My brother, or possibly my brother, hopefully my brother.

The nurse unhook my IV and pulled out all the needles. He began to talk to Jeremy while I stayed on the bed, afraid to move. Jeremy nodded occasionally and stroked his beard. The nurse handed my savior a bottle of pills. Jeremy nodded again and patted the nurse on the back. Jeremy then walked back over to me and told me it was time to get discharged. I slowly lifted one leg over the bed, and then the other. I stretched while I stood. Jeremy patted my back and laughed. "Okay, lil' bro, Ambrosia's waiting in the car."

When we were walking through the sterile hallways to the front room to discharge me, I looked up at my possible brother. He saved my life a number of times. I wanted to thank him so badly.

He looked down at me and furrowed his brow, "What's wrong, Emerson?"

Then, I hugged him. That's all I could do... I hugged him and buried my face in his gut. Jeremy, caught by surprise, hugged back. "You're welcome..." and then he whispered, "I love you too..."

He let me go and started walking again. He told me to wait in a chair while he discussed something with the lady at the front desk. I sat in an uncomfortable plastic chair and waited, just as he asked me to do.

When he turned around, he looked stressed. He motioned for me to follow him. We walked out to the parking lot and found a rusty, blue Chevy Cruze with Ambrosia in the driver's side. Jeremy let me in the backseat and he took shotgun. Ambrosia turned around and smiled a crooked smile at me.

"Hey, trooper. You're lookin' better already."

I smiled back at her and nodded. Thanks, Amb.

"I told her everything." Jeremy said emphasizing the word 'everything'. I rolled my eyes and he laughed.

I watched out the window of the Chevy. To be honest, I haven't been in a car, other than a police car, in a long time.

Ambrosia flicked on the left blinker and pulled into a Dairy Queen drive-through. Jeremy handed me my board. "What do you want? You can get anything you like."

I gave him a questionable look. Really? Don't tease me, Jeremy. I haven't had an ice cream treat in forever. I always craved for something like this... I uncapped the marker and wrote, "medium turtle sundae...?" and handed the board back.

Ambrosia ordered six chocolate dilly bars and three turtle sundaes. We drove to the next window, payed, and received our ice cream treats. She handed me my sundae and my eyes grew wide with excitement. I felt like a small child at that moment. I took a huge scoop with my spoon and my taste buds danced on my tongue. Ice cream never tasted sweeter. I heard Jeremy chuckle at my childish excitement, I felt a little hot from embarrassment, but I couldn't hide my joy.

I was finished with my ice cream by the time we reached the garage for Jeremy's apartment building. We all climbed out of the Chevy and walked back to the apartment.

**

During the one week period of waiting for the blood test and my resting period, Jeremy taught me bass guitar. He taught me every day from dawn to dusk. He was totally serious about it. I practiced and practiced and I started to get the hang of it, and it wasn't too bad to start with. My fingers hurt form the pressure I needed to apply to the strings, but I didn't complain. After the first two days of playing, the rest of the band came over to practice with us. I met Darren, Pete, and re-met Eddy as the guitarist. They complimented me on my work. I felt successful for once. Every day after that from noon to eleven at night, we would all practice. From eight to noon and occasionally from eleven to midnight, Jeremy would help me become more familiar with bass.

"Jer," Ambrosia called from across the apartment. She appeard in the doorway with the phone, "It's for you." She walked over to him and handed him the white phone. I put the sleek bass down and stood up. Ambrosia then walked over to me and wrapped her skinny arms around me from the back.

Jeremy sighed, "Understandable... No, thanks for your work. Thank you, bye..." He dropped the phone and looked disappointed... "Sorry, Emerson... We're not..."

My heart sank.

Then, a huge smile cracked his face. He began laughing his hearty belly laugh. He opened his arms. "Who am I kidding? I can't even joke right now. Welcome home, brother! The blood test was positive!"

My jaw dropped. Then I smiled. Yes, finally something good has happened. Jeremy Brooks is my brother. Ambrosia squeezed my shoulders and Jeremy embraced me for a hug.

Ambrosia left the room after happy tears were shed. She had to go to work later that day. Jeremy asked if I wanted to continue playing bass or take a breath and I wrote to him that I wanted to play. After all, I was informed earlier this morning that tonight was my first gig. I was determined to be the best I could be because this was very important to my big brother. I wanted to be ready... I was ready.

**

Eddy was the first to show up at Jeremy's apartment. He was the one with the van, after all. Jeremy, Eddy , and I loaded up the van with the needed equipment. Eddy drove, Jeremy in shotgun, and I sat in the backseat. We began to drive to pick up the rest of the band.

"Eddy, you'll never guess." Jeremy stated. He glanced at me and gave me a wink.

"Ha ha...?" Eddy laughed, unsure where Jeremy was going with his statement. "I probably won't so, what is it, Jer?" Eddy said furrowing his brow and briefly glancing at his older brother.

"Looks like we have three brothers instead of two in this band now." Jeremy said with a toothy smile.

"What the hell are you talking about, Jer?" Eddy said with a hint of confusion, now he turned the confusion into rage. "Are you getting drunk before every show again? Now, we told you--"

"Emerson is our little half-brother, dumb ass!"

"Whatttt?" Eddy said glancing at me briefly in the rear-view mirror. "No fucking way... How's that possible...?"

"Ma..." Jeremy said. That's all he had to say.

Eddy sighed, "Oh... How 'bout we keep this to ourselves? As in, let's not tell Pops. He might feel really bad... He loved ma." Eddy glanced at me quickly again, "It's fucking sweet that you're our brother, Emerson, it's just... I'm worried about Pops' feelings."

I nodded understandingly. Of course, Pops is like my father too. I wouldn't want to haunt him with bad memories either...

We pulled into a driveway and met the two missing band members, Darren and Pete.

"What's up, Bros?" Darren said whooping and laughing. He has a lot of energy. He climbed into the backseat with me and fixed his wavy black hair. "Emerson, bro, you ready for this?"

I smiled crookedly and nodded. Hell. Yes.

He ruffled my hair with an olive toned hand. "Fuckin' sweet!"

Pete also climbed into the backseat on the other side of me. "Whoop! First gig since we kicked that dead-beat Alec out! Pump it up, bros!" Pete patted my back and fist bumped the air with his other hand. "Turn up our tunes, Jer!"

"You got it, bro!" Jeremy said turning the volume knob up. Their songs began pouring out of the speakers.

Darren began singing the lyrics loudly, Pete air drummed and sung badly along with Darren, Eddy made guitar noises, while Jeremy air guitared and also sung off-pitch, and I sat quietly; although, I did air-bass.

Eddy pulled into the back of an old club. He parked and turned around. "You all ready for this?"

"Hell fucking yes!" Jeremy, Darren, and Pete yelled.

"How 'bout you, buddy?" Eddy said directing his attention to me.

I gave him a thumbs up and a toothy smile.

"Alright, bros. Let's get this club fucking jumpin'!" Eddy yelled flinging the van door open.

We all climbed out of the van and headed to the back of it to grab the instruments and equipment.

The club's owner opened the back door for us and we brought our instruments inside. I noticed the decent sized stage in the back of the bar. Darren set down three microphones, turned them on; because they were wireless, then tested each one of them. Eddy uncased his guitar and plugged it into an amp. He began strumming along and occasionally tuning when a string needed it. Jeremy did the same as his younger brother. Then, he walked over to me and my bass, plugged it in, and tuned it by ear for me: something I still need to learn. There was a drum kit already set up for Pete. He stuck a huge sticker that read, "Nuclear Winter", the band's name, on the bass drum. The shaggy, dirty blond twenty-three year old drummed casually on the six-piece kit.

"Okay, so our set is just how we practiced every day... got it?" Darren announced.

We all walked backstage and conversed. Darren began singing warm-ups. He drank what seemed like gallons of water in between warm-ups. Eddy and Jeremy strummed on their guitars and Pete air drummed. I sat next to Jeremy and practiced bass. Eddy looked up at me and smiled.

"Energy... Lots of energy." Eddy tipped me.

I nodded smiling, thanks, Eddy. I needed that tip.

The club's owner, who I later found out his name is Phil, told us it was time to go on. Show time.